Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Time for Healing ❯ Let Me Be the One You Call ( Chapter 16 )

Disclaimer: We do not own FAKE or its characters. They belong to Sanami Matoh, lucky girl! Any original characters belong to either Irish or Wildefyre.
Warnings: Thus far just Shounen AI but then again that's what FAKE is anyway. It may become Yaoi further along. This may have the guys out of Character somewhat, so Gomen for that and we are taking some creative freedom on histories & backgrounds and lives as they are now... Deal with it! ^_~

Dee sat on the air mattress that had been his bed for the last couple weeks. The room Andrew had converted into a guestroom had been a large sunny room with many windows that they had used for martial arts and yoga. There hadn't been a stick of furniture in the entire room, until now. Dee figured that was probably a good thing for him since there was less to trip over. The air mattress was amazingly comfortable and with the addition of a bedside table and an overstuffed chair Dee felt almost at home. He swallowed shifting the portable phone from hand to sweaty hand. He had promised to call. He had to ... Ryo was depending on him. Shaky hands slowly opened the line and dialed, heart slamming against his ribs faster then a humming bird's.

Ryo stood in the kitchen, blowing the bangs from his eyes as he finished wiping the counter down. Hearing the phone ringing he growled in frustration. For some reason the shrill just made his headache even more then it was. "Could someone answer that please?" He sighed and rubbed his temples. A chill ran through him causing him to shiver. Walking into the living room he saw that Lyn was talking on the phone and simply smiled.

Lyn's eyebrows were raised in surprise as he turned to Ryo. "Uh... It's for you."

"Thanks." Ryo took the phone from Lyn and sat down on the couch, pulling a throw over him as another chill hit. "Hello?"

Dee froze. Just completely shut down and for a moment was able to do nothing more then breathe heavily into the receiver 'You sound like a pervert!' he reprimanded and finally managed able to choke out. "R-Ryo?"

"D-Dee?" Ryo's eyes widened in surprise and then misted up. "Is it really you? Oh God..." Closing his eyes, Ryo felt his heart thumping in his chest. Then he began to panic a little. "Is everything okay? Is there something wrong? With Andrew or the girls I mean?"

"N-No... They... They are fine... It's... I..." He stopped, trying to get his thoughts in order, trying not to break down, trying not to let his pain show. "I was worried about you."

"Thank god." Ryo saw Lyn stiffen and look at him. Placing his hand over the receiver he smiled. "It's Dee and everything is fine. Lyn he called! He really called!" The smile Ryo's face held literally lit up the room.

"I'm fine Dee..." He sneezed. "How are you? I... I've missed you." Ryo went straight to the heart of things.

"I've.... Are you okay? You sound sick?" Dee was glad for the distraction. Even the simple confession of I miss you would have sent him into an emotional spiral. He was walking on glass and knew it. Besides if his Ryo was sick....

"I-It's nothing Dee. I just sneezed." Ryo lied. He knew that he wasn't feeling well but he didn't want to worry Dee. "Dee I got your CD... That song... It made me miss you so much." Ryo sneezed again and then shivered.

"No Ryo. You're not fine. You're getting sick. I can hear it. You're shivering too. I can here the phone shifting." Dee responded, trying to avoid anything remotely close to affectionate talk. He just couldn't deal with that yet but he also had no way of relaying that to Ryo without hurting his feelings any further.

"Nani?" Ryo looked shocked and then his eyes misted up. "Dee do you know what this means? You're learning to use your other senses. Oh God Dee that's fantastic. I'm so proud of you. Ai shiteru!" Ryo couldn't stop himself and the words just flew from his lips.

Dee sniffled, biting his lip as he tried not to cry. "I... I... I.... You too Ryo." He took a deep breath. He just couldn't say what he knew Ryo needed to hear. "I need to go but before I do, let me speak with Lyn for a moment?"

"Dee...? Please don't go yet. I-I... Uhm... I miss you so much. I've been so lonely without you here." Ryo hugged the phone closer, wanting to hang on to Dee's voice for as long as he could.

"I know baby and I-I'm sorry but I just need more time. Please baby...." Dee's hands trembled uncontrollably.

"I've been going out of my mind lately Dee. I miss you and worry that what we had has been lost. Then with this thing at work... They suspended me Dee. They took my badge. I didn't mean to have anyone get hurt. It was a mistake." Ryo fought hard not to lose it as he pushed back the tears that threatened to slip from his eyes.

"Ryo don't ever think that. You're a good cop. If anyone made a mistake it's those jerks in IA... Not you!" Dee practically shouted into the phone while taking a shaky breath.

"I know Dee. Hearing that song you sent me made me realize how much I need you Dee and how much I have to hang on for. You're my strength." Ryo sniffled. "Gomen for saying that... I didn't mean to upset you. I know that you're not ready to hear those things but I have to say them."

"God Ryo. I love you baby but please... I need to go." Dee's voice was gravely and desperate while unshed tears made his voice quaver.

"O-Okay. I'll put Lyn on then." Ryo sighed sadly. "I love you Dee and I'll be here when you're ready to come home. After all this is your home now." Ryo couldn't stop speaking the words even though he was certain that Dee couldn't echo them back.

Dee remained silent, unable to say anything for fear of breaking down as he waited for Lyn to be put on the phone. "Dee...?" Ryo put his hand to his mouth, trying not to get upset and then finally turned to Lyn. "He wants to talk to you." Ryo handed the phone to him and then sat there stunned. Dee couldn't say it... He couldn't tell him that he loved him again and that hurt.

Dee felt bad that he couldn't say it again but he had said it once and that was all that he could manage for now. He took a deep breath as Lyn's voice came over the line. "Dee? What's up?"

"Uh yeah... Hey Lyn...? Listen Ryo's getting sick... I can hear it in his voice. Take care of him okay?" Dee paused to collect himself and build up his nerve. "And... And tell him... Tell him..." His voice trailed off, unable to speak the words.

"Yeah I will." Lyn finished for him so that Dee wouldn't have to force it out. "Take care of yourself too Dee and I'll look after Ryo for you."

"Yeah all right. Thanks Lyn."

"No sweat." Lyn said as Dee fumbled for the disconnect button and finally the line fell dead.

Ryo sat there shivering, his face flushed and hot. "I miss him so much... So very much." He looked at Lyn as he hung up the phone. His line to Dee and the voice he loved hearing were now disconnected. "He sounded so sad..."

"He says that he loves you too Ryo." Lyn replied moving over to stand in front of Ryo and reaching down to press his wrist against Ryo's forehead, checking for a fever. "You feel warm." He frowned at his friend.

"I-I'm fine really. I want him to come home so badly Lyn. It's like someone has taken a part of me away you know." Ryo shivered again and pulled the throw up tighter around him, sneezing again and reaching for the box of tissues.

"Yes I know Ryo, believe me. Also believe me when I say that you've got a fever." Lyn slipped away to the bathroom retrieving a thermometer. "Open your mouth."

Ryo groaned and gave Lyn a look. "Yes mom!" He smirked and did what he was told. Waiting for the allotted time he then watched as Lyn looked at the thermometer to read it. "So do I get to stay home from school mom?" Ryo laughed and then grabbed his head. "Oww! I shouldn't laugh so hard. It hoits me head man!"

Lyn raised an eyebrow over the reading. "102.2 I'll say you have a fever. Damn Ryo." Lyn shook his head. "I've told you that you need to eat and sleep right. Now look? You've gone and gotten sick. Baka!" Shaking his head Lyn went back to the bathroom again, washing off the thermometer and then finding some aspirin to bring back to Ryo. "Take these. It will help and then go lie down all ready." He scolded in jest.

"B-But I have things that I should get done." Ryo sighed as he swallowed the pills without realizing that they were aspirin and that usually upset his stomach. Getting up from his perch on the sofa, he swayed slightly and just as Bikky walked out his room too. "Dang!" He swallowed hard as he looked at Bikky and then at the floor.

"Hey guys what's... up...?" Bikky looked at Ryo and then frowned. "Damn Ryo! You got yourself sick haven't you?" His blue eyes iced up. "What did Lyn and I tell you? This is all because you're not eating right or sleeping well."

Lyn rolled his eyes at Bikky as if to say 'Yeah that's what I just told him, the baka' and then steadied Ryo carefully. "All right Ryo easy does it there."

"Gomen Lyn... I just didn't think. I promise to try and do better." Ryo felt terrible not only physically but also over the fact that surely Lyn and Bikky viewed him as some bumbling idiot who screwed up at every turn. Looking away in embarrassment he sighed. "I still can't believe that Dee was able to tell so easily that I was getting ill. He's doing so much better under Andrew's guidance then he did with me."

"Andrew has more experience that's all. Plus he's a hard ass. Believe me on that one. He doesn't take 'I cant ' for an answer. You love Dee too much to be as firm with him as he needed that's all." Lyn guided Ryo to his bed helping him to sit down. "Now you lie down while Bikky and I go and make you some tea."

"I should have tried harder with Dee then he'd still be here with me." Ryo spoke softly as he crawled under the blankets, thankful that he was in sweats since he felt so cold. Pulling the blankets up around him he still shivered. "I'm so damn cold."

"That's the fever. You'll be hot in a minute or so and then cold again after that. Just try and rest." Lyn gave him a gentle smile as he moved out of Ryo's room to the kitchen to make the tea.

"Wow I rarely ever see him that sick. The last time was while I was away at camp and Dee stayed with him to nurse him back to health." Bikky commented as he followed Lyn into the kitchen. He was lost in thought before finally his eyes lit up. "Dee finally called?"

Lyn nodded and smiled as he put on the teakettle. "Yes Dee called. And apparently it was Dee who heard something in Ryo's voice that made him think that he was sick. It sounds like he's adapting, which is what the goal is. Hey Tiger will you go get a washcloth and run it under some cool water then put it on Ryo's forehead? It'll help cool him down."

"Sure! I guess the guilt trip method that Cal and I used, actually worked." He laughed and then grabbed a washcloth from the wash basket that Ryo had left on the kitchen table. "I guess that I'll put these bathroom towels away as well." He smiled.

"Great. Thanks Tiger." Lyn smiled at him astonished that Bikky had just volunteered for housework without being prodded. "After that I want to hear about this 'guilt trip' bit." Lyn remarked, well aware of it all ready since Drew had told him about it.

Bikky was just finishing up when Lyn walked past him with the tea and knew that it was time to confess. "Okay, here's the scoop. Cal and I really laid it on thick with Dee hoping that he'd feel so bad that we would call Ryo and at least talk to him. So we told him that Ryo was really losing it and that we had to hide all the sharp objects and pills from him." Bikky smirked. "I guess that we must have gotten through to him since he did call. Pretty clever of us huh?"

Lyn paused quirking an eyebrow down at the boy. "Fibbing isn't very nice Bikky. Poor Dee was probably frantic with worry. That's not a nice feeling to have." His gaze soon softened. "But... As long as it worked and didn't seem to cause any permanent harm... Just don't tell Ryo or he'll have all of our heads."

"O-Okay you got a deal..." Bikky smiled weakly. "You're not mad at me are you? I'm sorry for lying to Dee but Cal and I just didn't know what else to do. I hate seeing Ryo like this and Dee is so darn thick headed at times that it can drive you nuts."

Lyn nodded. "Nah, I'm not mad but don't make it a habit okay? Consider this time an extraneous circumstance."

"Al right I will." They walked into the bedroom and Bikky checked the washcloth. "He's like burning up Lyn." Bikky said as he looked at Ryo who opened his eyes and smiled faintly. Dark eyes were glassy with fever and his face flushed pink as it raged over him.

"Hey there sport. Looks like you'll have to take on some of the work around here for a few days. Think you can handle it?" Ryo asked in weakened voice weary with fatigue.

Bikky nodded solemnly. Then put on a front by puffing out his chest. "About time I got to be man of the house." He chuckled. Lyn simply smiled softly at the boy and his father, taking the washcloth and rewetting it in the sink before laying it back on Ryo's forehead again.

"Hang in their Ryo." Lyn spoke softly.

"I-I will. I have to for Dee's sake. He still loves me Lyn. Thank the gods for that." Ryo's eyes slipped closed for a second. "I think that I'm ready for a little of that tea if you don't mind?"

Lyn helped him up to a sitting position before handing him the mug. "Just take small sips. It might taste a little funny since I added a few extra herbs to help with the fever."

Ryo took a sip and then made a face. "This is about as bad as that oh so delightful green nighttime medicine that Dee hates." Ryo smiled. "Thanks for everything Lyn. I'm really glad that I met you. You've been a great friend."

"Yeah but this is all natural." Lyn pointed to Ryo's mug. "Hey I'm glad I could help. I hope that we can keep on being good friends for a long time to come."

Ryo reached out and patted his hand. "So do I." He then sneezed again and handed the tea back to Lyn. "Gomen but if you'll just excuse me for a minute." Ryo as quickly as he could slid out of the bed and raced into the bathroom slamming the door behind him. Bikky winced as the sounds of someone getting ill wafted through the closed door.

"Gross! Uh Lyn? Just what was in that tea?" He smirked. "I guess that his stomach isn't ready for that yet." Bikky sighed. "Oh well maybe this will get him eating right again. I hope so anyway." It wasn't that Ryo was starving himself or anything, he would just skip meals or be too tired to eat.

Lyn nodded. "Well if nothing else he will be easier to hold down and force-feed in this state." He sighed shaking his head. "And nothing was in the tea you punk. You can go look at the herbs yourself." Lyn stuck his tongue out at Bikky, laughing softly.

Bikky stuck out his tongue right back at Lyn, giggling at him. "You know I caught him without his shirt on yesterday and I swear that I could count his ribs! If Dee saw that he'd read Ryo the riot act." Bikky watched for Ryo as he spoke. "Oh and if it helps, I'll help you hold him down."

Ryo walked back into the room looking a little worse for wear. "Gomen about that. I think it may have been the aspirin. It has happened before. Guess I'm sort of allergic to them or something." Ryo commented as he slipped back into the bed and grabbed his tea again, taking a small sip. "It had to be. Now this tea tastes fine. I just had the horrible taste of aspirin in my mouth and my stomach was cramping up..." Ryo explained and sipped more of the tea.

Lyn nodded. "Sounds like aspirin is not your friend. Hopefully the herbs in there will be just as effective at reducing your fever as the aspirin just not as hard on your stomach." He reached over ruffling Bikky's hair. "Hey Tiger? In my bag is a book and it's called "Talking to Dragons." Would you go and grab it and I will read to the two of you."

"Okay! It's story hour Ryo." Bikky laughed and then ran to get the book.

"Bikky has really grown to admire you." Ryo commented as he sipped his tea. "I think that he's told anyone and everyone who will listen, all about you. You're kind of like a big brother to him now."

Lyn grinned. "Yeah? Well I think that he's pretty damn cool too and I'm an only child so it sounds like a good deal all around. If you're okay with it that is?"

"That's fine with me. Though if you start calling me dad I'm going to freak." Ryo laughed and then stopped to cough.

Lyn chuckled. "I never in my life have called anyone dad and I don't plan to start now. Careful there." Lyn steadied the mug as Ryo coughed. "We're going to have you back on your feet in a few days. Don't you worry? Besides it won't look good to have them wrap up the investigation and beg you back to work only to have you down for the count."

"Yeah I know." Ryo smiled. "You have two moms I had forgotten. Lyn how hard on you was that?" Ryo's face got serious. "I mean I'm looking at Bikky facing the same thing only with two dads and I want to do what's right by him. He has enough going on with being African American..."

"Well..." Lyn paused, thinking about that. "It was different for me I think. I grew up in... I'm not even sure it was worthy of the name 'village' since we only had reliable electricity in the last five years or so. My mothers were considered odd but..." He paused shrugging. "There were only three other kids my age and we couldn't afford to tease each other too much..." Lyn sighed. He really did miss his homeland.

He hadn't been back to see his parents or his friends since a year before they got Keiry. A piece of his soul belonged to that land and in the twilight of the day when the wind blew just right he could smell the sea through the fog. Yeah he was desperately home sick. "Kids here in America...Well, they are just down right mean."

"You miss it? Your homeland I mean?" Ryo cocked his head. "I didn't grow up in Japan but I had been there several times just not since my parent's death. I want to go back but Dee hates long plane rides." Ryo sighed.

"Andrew wants to go to Japan some time too but I think all travel plans are on hold until the girls are at least old enough to walk. My back can't take carrying them both all the time." Lyn smiled as Bikky flounced back in, book in hand and then hopping up onto the bed.

"Is this the one?"

Lyn took the book, looking at the cover. It was an easy read, a fantasy book meant for Junior High kids and quite funny. And if Ryo was sick for awhile there were three more in the series. "Yup that's the one." Lyn shifted over to the chair, draping his lanky frame in it comfortably. "All right everyone get comfortable." Lyn smiled as he started to read the book.

Ryo probably heard less then half the book, slipping into a sweat-induced sleep while visions of Dee filled his mind. He missed him more then he had realized and tonight's phone call had surely proven that.

Bikky listened to Lyn read and once he finished he looked over at Ryo. "He fell asleep after the first few pages I think. I hope that he'll be okay." He whispered as he scooted up and kissed Ryo's forehead. "I'll take the couch tonight. Since I don't want to get sick as well by sleeping in here. One sick member of this household is enough."

"Nah, take your bed sport. I don't have either of the girls tonight. I can handle the couch." Lyn pulled the covers up to Ryo's chin, placing the trash can and a glass of water within easy reach just in case before slipping out of the room with Bikky in tow.

"Yeah but you're a guest and Ryo says that we should always treat guests with respect. Except for Dee that is. Well Ryo thinks I should treat him nicely too but that's just not going to happen in this lifetime." Bikky commented, snickering as he followed Lyn.

"Yeah well I will be able to keep a better ear on Ryo out here anyway. Don't worry about it Tiger. Go brush your teeth and then hit the sack. You have school tomorrow." Lyn reminded him. "Oh and Ryo is right... You should be nice to Dee. When you make crude remarks about Dee it hurts Ryo as well as Dee. They are a couple Bikky and you have to accept that." Winking at the youth Lyn smiled down at him. "Now scoot."

"Yes sir!" Bikky saluted him before walking back to the bathroom to do as he was told. With Ryo down and Dee not there he would have to make every effort to keep things running smoothly. If that meant following strict orders, then he would do it. Maybe this would finally be a turning point for them all... Maybe.

Dee ran his fingers over the page of the large book in his lap again. A children's book of some sort. Andrew had convinced him to start learning Braille though to Dee it felt a little too much like accepting his disability. But after walking into the women's room instead of the men's while out the other day, he decided that he had better start learning or risk more embarrassing situations such as that one.

Andrew had to work an extra shift and Lyn who had ended up with the day off, had come over to make sure that Dee didn't burn the house down. Now Dee could hear him upstairs supposedly practicing his Tae Kwan Do though Dee suspected that he was actually up there herding elephants instead.

He missed working out himself but first things first. First he had to wait until his knees got better and then he could start back with building up his muscle strength again. Just then he realized that the noise had stopped and a moment later he heard Lyn at the top of the stairs. With a foolish grin on his face, he couldn't stop the words that spilled from his lips. "Did you get those elephants corralled yet?"

"Nah..." Lyn paused holding on to the banister. He felt woozy and he knew why but he didn't want to worry Dee. If he could just get down to the kitchen he would be fine. "The purple one..." What was he saying again? Didn't matter... Kitchen... He forced himself to step forward. One foot down, lift back foot, set down on same stair. Raise foot... He coached himself carefully as he gripped the banister with his vision going dark around the edges. Right around 'next foot down' the world turned upside down and his trembling knees gave way. The steps rushed up to meet him just as the world went dark but not before he felt the impact.

"LYN?" Dee heard the noise and knew what it was. Grabbing his cane he managed to make it to the stairs, nearly tripping over Lyn who now lie there motionless. "LYN!" Dee knelt down, wincing as pain shot horribly through his knees. "Oh hell! LYN!" He was shaking as he grabbed his cell phone that he kept on himself, just in case. Dialing 911 to get an ambulance he gave them the information before hanging up. It was after that, that he realized that he was now alone with the girls.

"Shit! I'll have to call him... I have no other choice. Damn!" His fingers moved to the speed dial number that he had grown to know by heart for he had hit it many times before. Waiting and praying for someone to answer he almost wished that he could have called someone else. When the phone was finally picked up, he froze as he heard the familiar voice on the other end. That didn't last too long though, as he remembered his current situation, which sent him into a near panic.

"RYO! I need help! Right away! Lyn fell down the stairs! I'm here alone with the girls... The ambulance is on its way... I need help. I don't know what to do?" Dee shouted into the phone in rapid-fire succession.

"Dee?" Ryo was trying to understand what Dee had just told him, taking several long seconds to allow the words to absorb fully. "Dee! Slow down what happened?" Dee could here him all ready gathering his things and heading out the door as they spoke. "What do you mean that Lyn fell down the stairs? What happened?!"

"I don't know. He was upstairs working out and the next thing that I know he's lying here and not moving." Dee's heart was racing. "I don't know what to do...! I can't see him to tell if he's hurt anywhere."

Dee could hear Ryo taking a deep breath, key's jangling and then the sound of traffic. "Okay Dee. Don't move him. Just feel for a pulse to make sure that he's breathing okay and that his heart is beating."

"I did that much and yes he is breathing." Dee took a few deep breaths and shifted his knees that were aching with pain.

"All right. Does he have a fever or anything? He might have caught that from me." Ryo asked, trying to stay calm. Dee could hear the engine of Ryo's car rev up over the line and breathed a small sigh of relief. It would be all right. Ryo would be there soon to help him out.

"No I don't think so but he does feel clammy and sweaty but it's a cold sweat." Dee felt frustrated. "Dammit Ryo! Even with a fever he wouldn't have fallen. I mean this guy is so careful that it's not even funny." Dee ran a hand through his hair.

"Hurry Ryo. Something's not right with this and I'm getting a really worried now." Dee himself was panting and sweating now with fear. Upstairs one of the girls started to cry and he cursed under his breath.

"Hang on Dee. I will be there in less then ten minutes." Ryo gripped the steering wheel tightly as he raced through the New York streets, glad that it was the middle of the day and traffic was blessedly light for a change.

"What could be wrong Ryo? Lyn is usually healthy as a horse! A little skinny but still healthy as far as I can tell." Dee was trembling with worry and also over the fact that Ryo was coming there. He hadn't been in the same room with the man for almost 3 weeks and soon that would change. Could he handle it? His heart was racing out of worry for Lyn and out of fear over facing Ryo so soon.

"I'm not sure..." Ryo wracked his brain as he drove, running three yellow lights and one that was blatantly red. "He... He eats all the time. I mean he's always got an energy bar or some sort of candy in his hand... I don't know Dee. I just don't know!" Now Ryo was beginning to feel a little panicked as well.

"Wait! I remember hearing Drew and him talking. Drew was warning him about not forgetting to eat. That he had to be careful of his... Dammit! What was the frigging word! It started with an H... I think. Hypo... Hyper... I can't remember! RYO!" Dee was shaking hard. "I'm getting more then a little worried here. Plus there's a kid crying and I can't move to get to her! My fucking knee locked on me!"

"Try to calm down! Don't move Dee or you'll hurt yourself. I'm five blocks away. I'll be there in three minutes." Ryo tried to keep him calm while at the same time taking deep breaths to keep himself from losing it. "Is the ambulance there yet?"

"No... Not yet."

"What the hell?" Frustration rang out over the phone line before going dead.

"Dammit Ryo! Hurry!" Dee listened for the ambulance but he couldn't hear the siren yet which frustrated him even more and now he lost contact with Ryo as well. "Shit! Where the hell are they?"

He grabbed his cell phone and went to dial 911 again but it slipped from his hands. As he searched for it, a shift with his legs caused him to cry out in pain.

"Damn! Ryo please get here... Oh Christ!" Dee tried to get into a more comfortable position but nothing worked. When he heard the front door open he almost cried. That's when he finally heard a siren off in the distance as well. "Ryo? God please say that it's you."

"Hai... It's me." Ryo dropped down next to Dee, looking over Lyn's sprawled form. "Are you okay Dee?" He asked as he felt for Lyn's pulse.

"M-My knees but worry about Lyn first." Dee swallowed hard. He could smell Ryo's cologne and it almost made him want to reach out and touch him. Ryo was close enough now that even his body heat was making its way to Dee and it took every ounce of will power that he had to keep himself still. "I-Is he o-okay? God Ryo please... Please say that he's okay." Dee blinked back his tears.

"There's no blood but god... It's hard to tell. He's breathing and his pulse is rapid... he's sweating and you're right, his skin is clammy and cold to the touch. At least it doesn't look like anything is broken. The ambulance will be here soon and hopefully they will know more." Ryo reached over and gripped his partner's shoulder. "It will be okay Dee. Did you try calling Andrew yet?"

"Shit! I forgot. The phone slipped out of my hands and I tried to reach for it." Dee felt the heat of Ryo's hand through his shirt and he shivered despite it. God he wanted to just grab him and kiss him... To hold him and tell him everything that was in his heart but he couldn't. Dee shifted again and this time the pain was more intense. "SHIT! God that hurts!" He rubbed his knees.

"Careful Dee. Let's get you off of the floor and out of the paramedic's way." Ryo said as he heard the sirens screech to a halt in the street. "How can I best help you?"

"I need to get my legs straight first. Bend one back just a little then pull it straight to unlock the knee." Dee swallowed hard when Ryo's hands went to his legs, one of which seated itself high on his thigh. The very same fingers he wanted touching him now cause him panic and that disgusted him.

Ryo very carefully and very gently did as he was told wincing as the joint popped in irritation. "Gomen." He whispered, knowing the pain it had to be causing the one he loved.

Dee gritted his teeth as Ryo got his legs straight out in front of him then sighing in relief as the pain lifted somewhat. "T-That's better. Now I kind of need help getting up. Do you think that you're strong enough? I know that you're still a little sick. Lyn told me that you got hit with the flu or something." Dee shivered from the contact, his heart nearly breaking with need and want over the man he loved.

"Hai I am." Standing behind him and gripping Dee under his arms Ryo hauled him to his feet with a grunt as the paramedics rushed in.

"What happened?" One medic looked between Ryo and Dee, waiting for answers as his partner checked the vital signs on Lyn's prone form while also loosening the top of his GI before doing a quick feel test to see if anything was broken.

"He was working out upstairs and fell down the steps. I don't know from where on them or why. I only know that he has to eat and that he has something that sounds like Hyper or Hypo..." Dee stiffen when he realized that Ryo's arms were still around his upper body. His back was pressed against Ryo's front and the heat that he was giving off was warming him in more places then his back. As inappropriate as it was, Dee found the response his body was having, involuntary.

The paramedics went to work strapping Lyn onto a backboard and the lifting him onto the stretcher, strapping him in securely before the trek began to the waiting ambulance. "Who is his next of kin? Is he on any medications?"

"I will contact his partner now and as for meds... I don't think so. I mean I don't know! What the hell is wrong with him? I can't tell what you're doing to him! I can't see...!" Dee was trying not panic but it was getting harder. "What's happening Ryo?"

Ryo nodded to the medic as they made their way to the front door. "They have loaded him onto a backboard then a stretcher and are currently going to take him out to the ambulance." Ryo's voice was quiet in his ear as he spoke.

"We don't know what's wrong with him yet but we're taking him to St. Mercy's." With that stated the paramedic followed his partner out lifting the gurney down the front steps, leaving Dee and Ryo to stand alone in the living room with Duke barking frantically in the backyard.

"Oh God Ryo..." Dee wanted to just collapse against him and lose himself again but he couldn't. God he couldn't. Dee shivered and found himself reaching behind himself to hold Ryo in place for a few small seconds. Even though he knew that he was asking for trouble, he needed Ryo's comfort and the security that his arms were bringing him.

Ryo's arms tightened around his waist hugging him close, hiding his face against Dee's shoulder. "We really do need to call Drew... God I hope that it's nothing serious."

"Y-Yeah we do. His number is number 5 on my cell phone." Dee licked at his dry lips while tears formed in his eyes. "Ryo... I... Oh God." Dee was just too consumed with sadness to string any words together that could be understood.

Ryo's cool fingers stroked Dee's hair back from his brow, trying to bring him some comfort. "It's okay Dee. You did everything that you could."

"Ryo? Drew... Have to call him... Remember? I also hear Annie crying. There are bottles made up in the fridge and she may need a diaper change as well. I'd do it but my knees... I don't think that I could make it up the stairs." Dee shut his eyes tightly. It felt too good. Ryo was touching him in such a gentle way that it was leaving him wanting more... God how he wanted more. Ryo kept one arm tightly around Dee, unwilling to let got of him yet as he reached for the cell phone. Hitting the speed dial and listening he shook with anxiety as the phone rang and rang until Drew finally picked it up.

"Andrew speaking."

"Oh thank God." Ryo took a shaky breath. "Gomen Andrew but... It's Lyn...."

"Lyn? Wh...? Ryo... What happened?!"

"I'm not sure. Dee was here with him... Lyn fell down the stairs Drew. He was unconscious when I got here. We called an ambulance and they are taking him to St. Mercy's." Ryo's voice quivered as he spoke.

"Christ...." Andrew trailed off into a long string of curses. "Ask Dee if he remembers whether or not Lyn ate today." Ryo relayed the message to Dee who had to think for a moment.

"Tell him that I can't remember... I don't think so. He was working out upstairs almost the whole time." Dee had heard Andrew cussing and it had shocked him. Ryo was still standing behind him, holding him and Dee could feel his stomach moving in and out with each breath he took. It was becoming too much. If they didn't break apart soon who knew what would happen?

"He says that he's not sure. Lyn was working out upstairs...." Another long string of rather vulgar and un-Andrew like swears floated over the line and this time Ryo had to gasp in shock.

"I need to get to the hospital. Can you watch the girls or meet me there or something? I need to get to Lyn."

"Hai! I'll stay with the girls. Dee hurt his knees as well so I'll stay here with them until you can get home." Ryo sighed. "Call us as soon as you know anything okay? I'm sorry Drew. I wish that there were more that I could do." Ryo rested his chin on Dee's shoulder, taking in his aftershave and sighing softly.

"No you did your best Ryo. Thank you, thank you so much. I will call when I know anything." The line went dead as Andrew ended the call.

Ryo hung up the phone and sighed. "He's on the way to the hospital and he'll call as soon as he knows something." Ryo stared at the flesh on Dee's neck and without thinking began kissing it. "I-I've missed you koi."

Dee shuddered almost violently over the kisses. "Ryo..." Dee bit his lip, overwhelmed. He floundered for something, anything to give him a moment of respite. "My knees... Can you help me to the couch?"

"Sure." Ryo felt the gap renewing between them and it hurt. Dee was pushing him away once again. "Here, lie down and I-I'll go look in on the girls. I'm sorry... I-I..." Ryo couldn't finish. He quickly thrust a pillow behind Dee's back and rushed out of the room. Dee leaned back into the pillow his hands coming up to cover his face. He needed Ryo so badly that it scared him but it still hurt too much. How could he find words for what had happened to him? How could he tell Ryo what that women had done to him? 'I'm sorry Ryo... I know that it hurts... I'm so sorry.'

Ryo spent the better part of an hour with the girls feeding them bottles and changing diapers, a feat he found not as hard as he had thought. Now that they were fed and dry both girls were content and it wasn't long before he had them back down and sleeping after spending time playing with them. Keiry at first looked like she was up to stay but soon her eyelids grew heavy again and she drifted off right in his arms. Gently he laid her down, giving a kiss to her forehead and then smiling at the sleeping form. Kissing Annie as well, he quietly made his way out of the room and down the stairs.

Ryo attempted to collect himself before approaching Dee. "C-Can I get you anything to eat or drink? Something for the pain maybe?" He asked, hoping the quiver in his voice wasn't too noticeable.

"Just... sit with me a minute... Please?" Dee almost clamped a hand over his mouth. That was not what was supposed to come out!

"Sure, if that's what you want." Ryo smiled and made his way over to the couch, sitting at the edge as Dee lay there sprawled out to keep his legs up. "Drew says that you're really making progress. I'm so proud of you Dee. So is Bikky." Reaching out Ryo caressed Dee's cheek.

"I-I'm trying for you... And for Bikky." Dee turned his face into the caress, trembling. His hands came up to reaching tentatively for Ryo's face trying to keep his shaking fingers steady. "I want to see you..." Dee whispered.

"Nani?" Ryo wasn't sure just what Dee meant until he felt Dee's fingers sliding softly over his face and then he closed his eyes, enjoying the exploring touch. His own hand went lower, caressing the strong chest that lay under the black t-shirt and feeling the heat that was being generated from Dee's body.

Dee's fingers whispered over the plains and ridges of Ryo's face, his mind trying to fill in what his fingers 'saw'. The high cheekbones and strong jaw, the elegant shape of his nose, the way his eyes slanted ever so slightly... "Beautiful..." Dee breathed.

"Dee..." Ryo found his resolve slip and leaned down so that his lips were barely touching Dee's. "I need you so badly Koi. I miss you. I miss touching you. And most of all... Kissing you." The heat of Ryo's breath caressed Dee's face, bathing it in a sweetness that smelled of peppermint.

"Ryo..." It was a half sob as Dee's arms came around him, pulling him close not wanting to but needing him so badly, needing his warmth and comfort that he couldn't stop himself even if he had tried. Ryo felt the warmth of Dee's lips touch his and sighed. His arms haloing Dee's head as he parted his lips, wanting Dee to explore and to take his mouth in the same way he hoped that Dee would take his body someday.

Dee's tongue brushed Ryo's lips, almost timidly before slowly slipping in to claim Ryo's mouth. Several seconds passed as the embrace lingered on and only the cell phone in Ryo's front pocket sounding between them broke the seal. Ryo didn't want it to stop not yet... Groaning in frustration he wrapped his lips around Dee's tongue and sucked on it as he moved back to finally answer the phone.

Ryo's breathing was erratic and his face flushed as he took the call.

"Hello?" He kept one hand on Dee's chest making lazy circles over it as he spoke on the phone. It was a habit of his, whenever he and Dee were cuddling and he wasn't sure if it was a comfort device or done out of nervousness.

"Ryo? It's Andrew? Are the girls okay?"

"Y-Yes... They're... They're fine." Ryo tried to steady his breathing. "H-How's Lyn?"

The bustling sounds of the ER waiting room were easily audible over the phone. "Not good. He's ah...hypoglycemic. It means that his blood sugar drop dangerously low and very easily. He must have missed a meal and then if he was working out..." Andrew paused taking a shaky breath. "They are still trying to stabilize him. The next few hours will tell us whether he's just unconscious or if it's more lasting then that." Andrew swallowed. "He and I have... have legal documentation giving us rights of next of kin but I had to go through three doctors and security before they would even tell me if he was here..."

"My God. Drew I'm so sorry. Oh God." Tears quickly formed in Ryo's eyes. "You just worry about Lyn and I'll stay here for as long as need be okay? I-I'll be praying for both of you."

"Thanks Ryo. I will call when I know more." With another shaky sigh Andrew hung up the phone.

After hanging up the phone, Ryo immediately lay his head down on Dee's chest. "Lyn's in bad shape. He's Hypoglycemic and he could be in a coma. I remember Drake saying that his mother had that. Oh God Dee. It's not fair." Softly he spoke, his voice filled with emotion over this latest bit of news.

Dee's arms came around his love without hesitation. Ryo needed him. He couldn't deny him comfort no matter what it cost him. His heart ached with love for the man in his arms even though he shook with anxiety, both for Ryo and himself and their friends at the hospital as well.

"Dee what happens if Lyn... If Lyn... Oh God." Ryo started kissing across Dee's chest. It was something he had started doing whenever he just needed to be close to Dee. The fell of his skin was a comfort he needed more then anything.

"I... I don't know. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it I guess." Dee gritted his teeth as Ryo's lips brushed over his chest. He wanted it so badly yet being touched like that... He still felt unclean and he couldn't pass that to Ryo. "Stop... Please...?"

"Please Dee. I want you. I'm not afraid of this anymore. I want us together. I want us to make love. I need you." Ryo kissed his way up to Dee's neck. "Don't push me away again. Please don't kill my heart like that."

Dee's hands found Ryo's face and cupped it gently between his palms, his green eyes bright with tears. "Please Ryo. I cant. Please understand." Dee stopped, closing his eyes and trying to maintain some equilibrium. "I want you too baby but I can't. Not now. Please be patient? Please...?"

"Okay I will. Would you please kiss me once more? Give me something to keep me going. Please?" Ryo held onto Dee's shoulders looking into sightless eyes. "Ai shiteru itsumo Dee..."

"I love you too Ryo." Hot tears escaped their emerald pools and slipped over Dee's cheeks as he slowly brought Ryo's mouth to his in a lingering kiss. Finally he released him and his arms wrapped around his own waist. "I'm sorry Ryo. I'm sorry that I can't give you more."

"It's okay Dee. I'll accept that. At least now I know that we still have something together." Ryo sat up and sighed. "I just hope that one day you'll feel strong enough to tell me what's wrong and to know that I will not judge you. I love you more then anything Dee and whatever obstacles come our way we can face them together."

"Keiry is crying."

"Huh? Oh okay. I'll go check on her and you just rest up." Ryo stood, gazing down at Dee with new hope filling his heart and walked out of the room to take care of Keiry.

Keiry stood up in her crib gripping its safety bars like the world's youngest prisoner as she wailed pitifully. Her odd muffled cries increasing in volume as yet again it was not one of her daddies who came to comfort here but someone only vaguely familiar. Ryo felt helpless as he picked her up and tried to sooth her. He was unsure about what to do since she couldn't hear him. Walking over to a rocking chair he sat down and began to rock her. Hoping that it would help in some way.

Keiry's big blue eyes looked up at him tearfully as her chubby little hands signed 'Daddy' again and again.

Ryo found himself frustrated as he tried to remember some of the signs that Lyn had taught him. He finally got it that she was saying daddy and he made an attempt at signing 'daddy home and soon' hoping that she would understand. When that didn't seem to work he got an idea. Grabbing her arms gently he placed one of her hands on his lips and one on his throat holding them there until she started settling down and looking at him curiously. Ryo then started singing. It was soft yet loud enough that it vibrated nicely.

She blinked at him. Her dada Lyn sung to her all the time. Slowly her tears trailed to sniffles as she rested her head on Ryo's chest feeling the deep rumbles of his voice, her small fingers still feeling his lips. Ryo smiled as she started quieting down and he continued singing. He soon heard a noise behind him and knew that Dee had to be there watching. Cuddling Keiry closer, he kissed the top of her head as he sang. "Golden slumbers kiss your eyes/ smiles awake you when you rise/ sleep pretty loved one, do not cry/ and I will sing a lullaby."

Dee stood in the doorway much the same way Lyn had nights ago, listening as Ryo soothed the little monster. Keiry's pathetic little sniffles finally came to a shuddering stop as she 'listened' carefully to the vibrations of a song that she had never felt before. "Lyn sings to her too. He sits with her on his lap and his guitar over both of them. She loves it. You could try sitting her on the piano too."

Ryo turned his head slightly. "I haven't played in a long time. I could be quite rusty." Ryo smiled and stood up. "I wish that I knew more sign. Maybe I can take some classes for it. It may be useful in the field as well."

Dee felt his way around the room, moving closer. "What do you want to tell her? Andrew showed me a few of the important ones."

"She kept asking about her daddy..." Ryo stared at him. "How did he show you? I mean... You can't...?"

"Well, he just sort of moved my hands the way they were supposed to go. You know Drew... No such thing as 'I can't" Dee sighed, running a hand through his hair, worried about his friend and worried about having Ryo so close. "It's not like I know what she's signing to me but hey..." Dee tried to remember what little he knew. "Ah... daddy.... home.... soon?" He suggested, his hands moving awkwardly. Keiry stared at him then held her arms out to Dee to be held.

Ryo chuckled. "I guess that she likes you better." Ryo moved closer to Dee placing Keiry up against him until Dee had grabbed her. "Why don't you sing to her or something and I'll do what I'm good at. I'll go make some dinner for us. Ryo sneezed. He had forgotten to take his meds but shrugged it off as he started for the door.

"Nah she doesn't like me better. She just knows that I spoil her rotten to get her to shut up." Dee said gruffly moving after Ryo, one hand trailing along the wall.

"Need any help?" Ryo asked wanting to stay close to Dee for as long as he could.

"No I've pretty much got this part figured out." Dee replied with a small smile as his hand found the banister and he made his way down the stairs to the kitchen. He counted out three paces then reached up and opened a cupboard, counting one shelf up and three jars over from the right. He picked up a jar of honey, knowing by its shape and stickiness that it was indeed the jar he sought.

"What are you doing?" Ryo asked as he watched Dee.

"Spoiling her." He set Keiry on the counter, hand feeling for the right door, he opened it and pulled out a small baby spoon. Opening the jar of honey he scooped out a small bite. "I guarantee one happy baby in about three seconds." Keiry sat patiently as Dee cupped her face to be sure to find her mouth instead of an eye or something and she opened her mouth wide in gleeful anticipation. Dee fed her the spoon of honey letting her take it in a chubby fist to suck all the sweetness from it as he recapped the jar and set it back in its rightful place. Keiry giggled and patted Dee's chest with a sticky hand. "Like I said... Happy baby."

Ryo laughed softly and found himself coming up behind Dee to wrap his arms around his waist. "You never fail to amaze me koi." Ryo sighed and allowed himself to enjoy the closeness knowing that at any moment Dee would once again pull away.

"Why? Because I fed a kid honey? At least I got the right jar this time. Besides strawberry jam and maple syrup work too."

"Still, all this from a man who once said that they didn't like little children." Ryo sighed and buried his face in the crook of Dee's neck. "Has that changed?"

"I don't. It hasn't changed Ryo. Happy brat makes for quiet and that makes for happy Dee. Simple math, even I can do it." Dee wasn't about to show any more of his soft spot then he had all ready. He loved the girls to death but he wasn't about to admit that to Ryo. If he did, then Ryo would want some!

"I see. Very well then. I just thought that I'd ask." Ryo moved away. He felt disappointed though he was trying to understand the way Dee's mind sometimes worked. "I'll get some sort of dinner started. What do they usually feed the girls?" His voice was shaking slightly as he spoke.

"Cheerios and baby food. Juice or water to drink. I don't like kids. You know that Ryo." Dee sighed and pried the sticky spoon from Keiry's mouth as he felt his way over to the sink to wash her down.

"Yes you have made that clear. I guess that will never change." Ryo allowed the hurt to fill him as he got something together for Keiry and Annie before starting in on a dinner for them. "Is pasta okay for you?" Ryo asked as he gathered up the things that he needed, sniffling slightly from his cold that still plagued him.

"Yes that would be great. Dee sighed. "I can barely find my way around the kitchen and having a child underfoot wouldn't be the best thing all around right now."

"Dee I understand. I really do." Ryo filled a pot with water and put it on the stove before starting in on the sauce.

"Yeah I know... I need to go sit down yell if you need anything." Dee pressed Keiry in to Ryo's arms as he brushed past him and then headed out of the kitchen. Only bumping lightly against the doorway as he walked out.

"Damn you MacLean! You just had to bring all that up didn't you?" Ryo placed Keiry in the high chair near him and handed her the cheerios while he made the pasta for Dee. Finding other ingredients he managed to make an Alfredo sauce as well. Finishing it while trying to keep Keiry happy wasn't easy but he managed. She cheered up even more after he fed her and then cleaned her off. "C'mon little one. We'll take Dee his supper then you and Annie can play while I eat. He laughed softly at the way she smiled up at him even though she had no clue as to what he was saying.

Walking into the living room Ryo found Dee sitting and listening to the TV. "Dinner is ready." Ryo placed the tray down and took a deep breath. "Your drink is at one o'clock and a plate of garlic bread is at nine o'clock." As he moved away, his own stomach growled in protest over not having eaten virtually all day and he went to get his plate of food.

Dee sat in stony silence. He needed Ryo's love and compassion but was too afraid to reach out for it. "Dee whether you believe it or not I am trying to understand your fear of being near me but please try and understand my fear of losing you. That's all I ask of you." Ryo touched his shoulder and then left it go. Sighing softly he walked out to the kitchen and got his food before trekking back into the living room to keep an eye on the girls.

Once finished he took Keiry and Annie upstairs for a little to play with them and allow Dee sometime to rest, figuring that he'd do the dishes later. He loved Dee with his whole heart, why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't Dee reach out to him and allow him to help? Why was he being thrust aside so that Dee could suffer alone? What had happened to him to bring on this change that was frightening him more and more? Ryo knew that if something didn't break soon, the wedge between them would forever linger.

W ildefyre: Enjoy... That's all. Gomen but I really don't feel like adding much to my comments... Not much to say anyway.

Irish: WOMBAT! Okay yeah I really don't have anything either... lol You can only do so many of these before you start to run out of stuff to remark on. Keep reviewing everyone! Wooohooo!!