Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Wilderness Survival 101 ❯ Northren Exposure? ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Ryo, Dee or Fake, this is men loving men folks, so if you don't like it stop reading! This isn't your standard NYC setting. The Boundary Waters really exist, and are the most protected wilderness in North America! Some of the Lake names are fictional. No lemon this chapter, this is all pretty PG

Wilderness Survival 101

Chapter One: Northern Exposure?

Dee groaned as the plane circled the small town of Ely, Minnesota waiting for its turn to land. "What, did a moose wander onto the runway?" he grumbled running his fingers through his dark hair.

"Moose don't come into towns, Dee." Ryo responded with a sort of exasperated patients. Like his partner, Ryo was a bit nervous about their most recent assignment, to track down the White Tiger Drug syndicate recently responsible for the crime spree in New York. The White Tiger Syndicate had posed a unique threat, certain mob and gang activities were expected, you knew the names of the big hitters on the crime front... but White Tiger was new, a very deadly import from Russia. It was thought they were smuggling drugs from Siberia Russia, through Canada and down through a vast expanse of protected wilderness called the Boundary Waters.

"Hold on there might be some turbulence." The pilot called back as the plane began to descend. Dee opened his mouth to say something about 'moose' and 'turbulence' when they hit the first series of wind drafts, causing the plane to rock, and Dee cut himself of by clamping a hand over his mouth and turning a little green. Ryo shook his head and hid a small smile behind his hand, putting his other hand on Dee's shoulder to steady him.

The ride down was bumpy and as the plane hi the tarmac both Ryo and Dee sighed in relief, until they stepped out into the sweltering heat of northern Minnesota.

"Were almost in Canada! I thought it was supposed to be cold this far north!' Dee Complained. The pilot set their suitcases at Dee and Ryo's feet.

"Its not the heat its the Humidity yeah?" the piloted offered with a smile and a two fingered wave as he did his post flight check. Indeed the actual temperature was only about ninety degrees but the 65% humidity made the heat cling to their bodies like a wet washcloth in saran wrap. Ryo's dress shirt was drenched through with sweat and clinging to his back and chest by the time they got to the terminal. Dee's dark tee shirt hadn't faired much better and they both sighed in relief as the cool air-conditioned air hit them. The 'terminal' was really just a small building with a front counter and a few plastic chairs. On the counter sat a tall lanky man, his long legs dangling a few inches off the ground. His hair was as dark and he was build with a narrow frame and a pretty face. Across from him in a plastic chair was a short, petite woman with auburn hair pulled back in a tight French braid. Dee and Ryo both paused, looking between the two figures.

"Detective's Latner and Mclane I presume?' The red head asked in a contralto voice, standing up and sauntering over to the momentarily disoriented detectives. It took a beat, but Dee turned his charm on the woman, his face lighting in a friendly smile as he offered his hand.

"Dee Latner, and you are...?"

For her small size the woman suprised Dee with a handshake that was nearly painful. "Merci, Merci Phoenix. US Ranger. That's my partner, Flynn O'Mally." Dee tried not to wince as her little hand that was barely visible in his, practically crushed the bones of his hand. "Nice to meet you Merci, this is my partner Randy Mclane. " Dee retrieved his hand and stepped aside, allowing Ryo to shake hands with the tiny amazon.

"Pleased to meet you as well Merci. "Ryo said with a genuine smile, apparently his hand wasn't being crushed. Ryo then offered a genial nod over to the man perched on the counter. "You as well Flynn." Ryo offered another smile to Flynn, shifting a bit nervously. They had known they were going to be met by rangers...the only version of boarder pratrol in the Boundary Waters, but the bold Merci and quiet Flynn had put him on edge already.

"Well boy's lets get this show on the road. " Merci snatched up Dee suitcase in one hand, and Ryo's in the other and headed out the door, Dee trailing after stammering that maybe he should take those. Ryo fell in next to Flynn, who offered him a smile, and held open the door as they exited to the parking lot.

In a whirlwind adventure of shopping Dee and Ryo were out fitted with camping gear, boots, quick dry pants, wool socks, polar fleece sweaters, the whole nine yards. Merci found these items with an amazing efficiency, checking the sizes on the tags in the back of Dee and Ryo's pants with out even asking, and just handing them item after item, not asking, just telling. Ryo was blushing furiously at being snowballed like this, Dee on the other hand was fuming...especially as Merci picked out a neon pink water bottle for him.

"Listen bi-" Dee didn't get much further then that a Ryo clamped a hand firmly over his mouth. Hissing in his ear.

"Don't you Dare! We have to work with her, baka!" Dee's green eyes snapped with anger over Ryo's hand but he nodded and Ryo let go, putting the pink water bottle back and handing Dee a far more masculine gray one. Flynn trailed after the group, still silent; his blue eyes smiling as he watched Dee and Ryo get mauled by his partner. Finally they piled into the ranger jeep, bags of new gear, luggage and all. Merci informed them that it was another twenty minutes out to the canoe base where they would stay for two days before heading out. The jeep was open-topped and the ranger drove over the two-lane road with familiar ease. The wind whipped Ryo's fall of honey hair back from his face, and brought a smile to his lips, relief from the oppressive heat. Dee too seemed more comfortable in the vehicle as they left the city limits. Pine trees lined both sides of the road, as well as hard faces of rock. It was so radically different from New York City that Ryo felt almost disoriented, even moving at sixty miles per hour with no buffer but the windshield, it was quieter here then in the city. The air had a tangy pine scent to it, and even the sweat cooling on his brow was somewhat satisfying. He found himself taking Dee's hand with out much thinking about it. For the moment not remembering the two strangers in the front seat, or the wilderness trip in front of them.

Dee glanced over to his partner and smiles as they whizzed through the towering pine and birch. It was unlike Ryo to be so brave and take his hand especially in the company of strangers. But Dee said nothing, knowing that it would ore then likely scare him off if he did. Instead he just closed his eyes and let the wind eased the oppressive heat, and enjoyed Ryo's temporary bravery.

The respite was unfortunately short lived "the Base' was two cabins, a rambler, a garage, a shower house and a barn...none of which had any air conditioning. It was situated on a small bay though, that helped keep the breeze cool...and the mosquitoes plentiful. Ryo and Dee were given quarters in a small room with bunk beds and a few shelves, in fact the room was so small they couldn't both stand up at the same time and still move around.

"Christ! What, are we in freaking prison!" Dee grumbled as he tried to open the second window. Ryo too was dismayed, the plywood floor, he realizes was going to be forever dirty, and the open shelves made the room look untidy no matter how neatly their clothes were folded and stacked. Neither man had worked so hard since academy. They were up at the crack of dawn, being trained in basic wilderness survival, and it didn't help that they had to start from the very basics, fire building and canoeing. The rangers quickly lost their patients with the city boys. Leaving Ryo, normally a high honors, top of his class, best at everything student, embarrassed and ashamed of his 24 match fire...and Dee frustrated and angry after tipping his canoe into the murky water of the bay...for the sixth time. The packing list they had been given had Ryo and Dee both nearly running back to New York City begging for a different assignment... They would be out in the wilderness canoeing for at the minimum two full weeks. Yet they were allowed only two sets of clothes, one wet set for during the day when they would be canoeing, and portaging, the other dry set for at night. They were allowed only three pairs of socks, wet dry and sleeping, they were allowed only a very few personal items. The night before their departure Ryo paced the plywood floor just out side their room in the cabin as Dee tried to wedge their few allowed belongings into the canvas Duluth pack.

"Dee, I won't be able to get in touch with Bikky for two weeks? What if something happens? What if one of us gets hurt? You heard what Merci said... no roads, no motor boats...hell planes cant even fly over the area...we will be two weeks away from medial help! Chasing after drug runners! With Guns! Dee are you listening to me!" Ryo's voice had taken on a panicked note, which normally would have had Dee doing everything in his power to fix what ever had him so worked up. At the moment, however, he was trying to stuff two sleeping bags, two sets of clothes two sets of dry shoes and some personal items into a few very small cubic feet of space.

"Yes Ryo, I hear you!" Dee snapped, adding under his breath "Every Bird, Bear and Squirrel for a mile can hear you." The cabin fell silent. Dee looked up, tossing his dark hair out of his face as he heard Ryo's pacing stop. Ryo stood in the middle of the next room, one hand holding his honey hair out of his face in agitation, the other clenching and unclenching by his side, giving Dee the evil eye, even as he blushed at the idea of being so loud.

"This is dangerous Dee! Dangerous in a way being in New York isn't. You're not taking this seriously!"

"I'm taking this very seriously Ryo, I just also happen to be trying to bend the natural laws of physics and trying to get two object to occupy the same space at the same time so all our shit can fit in this damned pack!"

That had Ryo pausing a moment, impressed that his Koi knew that physics factoid. "Gomen Dee... I think Merci is right we are...what did she say?"
"Chooches." Dee supplied with a growl. "She called us Chooches, which I think is Hickspeak for Green... wet behind the ears."

"Exactly... but we are Chooches Dee... I went through and entire pack of matches...to light pine needles... dead and dry pine needles..."

Dee sighed, finally getting the leather straps of the pack laced. "Well...so we bring extra matches, so what, were men, how hard can this possibly be. Merci a five foot tall elf with a dyke attitude, and Flynn...well what the hell is he, a skinny pretty boy with no verbal skills? Come on, if they can do this for a living, I'm sure we can mange a few weeks." Dee stood and sauntered over to his partner, putting his arms around Ryo's waist, kissing his neck softly.

"Dee... you have no idea what Merci's sexual preference is, and just because she's short doesn't mean she's not strong...and Flynn doesn't talk because he's deaf."

Dee stepped back very suddenly from Ryo eyes going wide. "Holy Christ! He's Deaf! What the fuck do you mean he's deaf!"

"I mean he's deaf, hard of hearing, hearing impaired, deaf." Ryo said a bit annoyed that in two days his Koi hadn't noticed Flynn's hearing deficient.

"How the hell can he be deaf? You mean were going out there with a freaking cripple?!"

Ryo pursed his lips trying to be patient. "You wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't told you. Besides he speaks just fine, when he chooses to. And he reads lips... don't be a baka Dee, he's obviously competent at his job or he wouldn't be working with us."

"How do you know he can talk just fine, he's never said a word!" Dee ran a hand through his hair in agitation. Green eyes showing his confusion and annoyance.

"Not to you anyway." Ryo shook his head and bent down tightening the fastenings on the canvas sack. "I'm going to go call Bikky and shower before we go to bed...were headed out at 7am tomorrow morning, that means up at 6." With that Ryo snagged his calling card and strode out the door, letting the screened door snap shut with a slam, its speaking volumes of his worry and agitation at the moment. Dee stood looking out into the darkness a long moment before giving the pack a kick. He had heard every word Ryo said and he was nervous too. A Kid from the street he had spent less then a handful of nights in a tent...and even fewer with out running water within a short walk. For the next two weeks there would be no indoor plumbing, no hot water, no bed, no clean clothes, no TV, no beer...no electricity...nothing but miles and miles of lakes and portages...and moose. But Dee was a diehard detective, and if he needed to spends two weeks out in godforsaken wilderness to collar his man, then lord help him he would.