Fan Fiction / Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction ❯ Episode 1: The Past Is Present Directors Cut ❯ Chapter 1
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: scryer666 
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction / Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Action / Angst | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 07.18.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 484 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction / Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Action / Angst | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 07.18.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 484 | Status: Completed
The Past Is Present:
an Ah My Goddess Self Insert - Part 1
Two weeks passed and the dorm phone rang. Josh groaned and sat up. He fumbled for the receiver, knocking the phone onto the ground. He sat up, re-adjusting his beanie and grabbed the receiver and put it to his ear.
Josh: (half-asleep) “mmm’ello?”
Voice: “Josh, is that you?”
Josh: “kei, what’s up?”
Keiichi: “just wanted to tell you that I moved into the temple up on top of the hill. Also, if you want to, we’re having a party tonight”
Josh: “so let me get this right, you’re asking me if I want to show up at your party, am I right?”
Keiichi: “yep”
Josh: “sure whatever, I’m gonna bring a few friends though. I’ll be there in half an hour”
Keiichi: “alright” (hangs up the phone)
Josh put the receiver back on the phone and decided to get cleaned up. After his shower, he got on his bmx and rode it into the back streets of Makuhari. As he cycled, he nodded to the various shop owners as they smiled and waved to him. He frowned as a police car drove by him, but did nothing so he rode on by. He rode down a side street and stopped as a group of guys crowded around him “’sup dawg, how you been nigga?” “Nothing much, b-box. Get the boys together; we’re going to a mate's party” “alright man, i'll get the boys” said b-box as they greeted each other. He let go and went away for about ten minutes. He came back with an assortment of cars, bikes and four wheel drives. One car pulled up next to Josh and he jumped in.
Back at the party, it was well underway. Belldandy wanted to spend some time with her Keiichi, but he was dragged away by Tamiya and Ootaki, but not before they started to hear something resembling music. The whole crowd ran out to the front, in time to see Josh and his homies arrive, to the tune of “bad boy for life” by P.Diddy, Mark Curry & Black Rob. They saw two motorbikes do burnouts on the road, leaving a smoke trail, to the excitement of the other motor club students.
Keiichi managed to get past them in time to see Josh emerge from a bouncing Cadillac “what’s this?” Josh looked behind him, turned back to Keiichi and said “dude, this is how you throw a party” as two of his guys started carrying turntables and mixing desks into the alcove they’d made for the party. As they went to the alcove, they saw a jukebox there; it was playing some weird music, so the two pulled out their Berettas and shot it to pieces. Tamiya was livid “what did you do that for?” Josh was surprised as the rest of them, but he smiled and said “dude, don’t worry. We’ll hook you up with a new one, okay? it's real cheap too, so don't worry man” as he put an arm around his shoulder. He turned to see that the DJ was set up, and another guy was there, grabbing the microphone off the table. As the beat started, the rapper began rapping the song "X gonna give it to ya" by DMX:
Arf arf
Yeah, yeah, yeah (Grrrr)
Uh, Yeah don't get it twisted
This rap shit, is mine
Motherfucker, it's not, a fucking, game
Fuck what you heard
It's what you hearin
It's what you hearin (Listen)
It's what you hearin (Listen)
It's what you hearin (Listen)
[Verse 1]
X gon give it to ya
Fuck wait for you to get it on your own
X gon deliver to ya
Knock knock, open up the door, it's real
Wit the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel
Go hard gettin busy wit it
But I got such a good heart
I'll make a motherfucker wonder if he did it
Damn right and I'll do it again
Cuz I am right so I gots to win
Break break wit the enemy
But no matter how many cats I break bread wit
I'll break who you sendin me
You motherfucker never wanted nothin
But your wife said, that's for the light day
I'm gettin down, down
Make it say freeze
But won't be the one endin up on his knees bitch
Please, If the only thing you cats did is come out to play
Get out my way
[Chorus: DMX]
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
[Verse 2]
Ain't never gave nothin to me
But everytime I turn around
Cats got they hands out wantin something from me
I ain't got it so you can't get it
Lets leave it at that cuz I ain't wit it
Hit it wit full strength
I'm a jail nigga
So I face the world like it's Earl in the bullpen
You against me, me against you
Whatever, whenever nigga
What the fuck you gon do?
I'm a wool fin sheep clothing
Only nigga that you know that can chill
Come back and get the streets open
I've been doing this for nineteen years
Niggaz Wanna fight me? Fight these tears
I put in work and it's all for the kids
But these cats done forgot what work is (UH-HUH!)
They don't know who we be
Lookin! but they don't know who they see
Nigga!
[Chorus: DMX]
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
[Verse 3]
Aiiyo where my niggaz at?!
I know I got them down in the game
Give em love and they give it back
Talk too much for to long
Don't give up your to strong (What?!)
A dog to bow bow hug it
Shoutout to niggaz that done it
And it ain't even about the dough
It's about gettin down for what you stand for aiyo
[Chorus]
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
Josh moved through the party, stopping to grab a cup of beer. it was then that Time seemed to almost slow to a stop as he moved through the party, when he saw her. She was lying back on a chair, drinking a lot of sake and getting rowdy. She had long beautiful platinum hair, sparkling (well not at the moment) jade coloured eyes as well as lovely and beautiful tanned skin. To him, she was the vision of beauty itself. “Need a refill?” “Yesssshhhh, and make it shhhhnappy” she said with a drunken slur. He sighed as he went over to fetch a bottle of Jim beam which was sitting in a bucket with some other bottles as well as some ice, which was for cooling the bottles. He went back over and she stretched out to him the cup, shaking it as he came closer. He was about to pour some when he thought better of it <no, theres no way i can do it. look at her, she's already pissed drunk. there's no way i will do it to her> he thought to himself.
He took the bottle and sat down on the chair next to her. “What’s your name miss?” she frowned and said “why should i tell you that? you gonna give me some more or what? the names urd by the way” he shook his head sadly and said “no, you’ve had too much already” she was pissed, she threw her cup on the ground and practically yelled at him “what do you care, you’re probably just coasting through life, now give me more sake” which really set Josh off, just as they were starting to play “points of authority” by Linkin Park.
He stood up and said “you fucking bitch!!!! You have no idea of what I’ve suffered, what I’ve had to endure, the things and people I’ve lost, so don’t go complaining about me and what you think are my problems when you have no idea what the hell you're talking about. You don’t, scratch that, you’ll never understand me and my problems so GO TO HELL YOU BITCH!!” he shouted as he threw the bottle into the wall next to her, shattering it on impact. He stormed off to the front of the temple and sat with his knees curled up to his chest.
He sat near the road and started to cry "why? why do people hate me?" Before he curled his rage at Urd into his fist and punched the stone wall. He laid back and looked at the moon. As he looked at the moon, he began to remember and old Dmx song from his album “the great depression” entitled “sometimes” he began rapping……
“Sometimes I wonder what life's about
Sometimes I wonder why the lights are out
Sometimes I wonder why I like to shout
Sometimes I wonder what the lies are about
Sometimes I see things I shouldn't have seen
Sometimes I wonder why, I'm a hood and a fiend
Sometimes I look at what I've become and cry
Sometimes I, get on that BULLSHIT and be ready to die
Sometimes a nigga that's yo' man might get it
Sometimes even though it's sweet, if you ain't wit it
Sometimes the pain is too much to BEAR
Sometimes it RAINS too much to care
Sometimes if you, don't watch yo' back it'll cost you
Sometimes you wonder who would give a FUCK if they lost you
Yet sometimes the sun shines around the clock
But sometimes it's dark, and hell is hot”
He sighed and stood up, turning to leave and got into a spare dodge and started it up, driving it down the road, away from the party, away from the lights and away from her. he parked the battered dodge next to the dorm and sat back on his seat, before he caught the sight of two scars, one on each wrist, which saddened him because he remembered why, why he had those scars. he grabbed his jacket as he turned off the ignition and opened the door of his dodge, climbing out and taking in the crisp night air before he shouldered his jacket and walked sombrely into the dorm. he walked through the hallway, until he approached his room. he opened the door and stepped into it. the walls of his room were littered with posters of bands like Staind, Seether, Disturbed and Godsmack even ones of australian bands like Powderfinger, Midnight oil and The Cat Empire. he threw his jacket over onto his desk and headed over to a stereo system he had set up on his desk. he put the stereo to play 04 and pressed play. eventually the room was filled with the tune of "illusion & Dream" by the Poets Of The Fall as he started removing his clothes, heading towards the shower.
-Look in my eyes I'll make you see
We're drifting aimlessly
Blind in a world of make believe
Hear them sing their songs off key
n' nod like they agree
Buying the needs to be discreet-
as he showered he reached out and grabbed a razor before he brought it to his wrist and dragged it slowly against his right one.
-I've got no hand in matters worldly
I hardly care at all
What's going on fails to concern me
'Cause I'm locked behind my wall
But you know what drives me out
Out of my mind oh-
josh just stared as the blood began to flow from his wrist.
-It's whatever makes you see
Makes you believe
And forget about the premonition you need to conceive
The images they sell are Illusion and Dream
In other words dishonesty-
back at the temple, urd laid on her bed, crying into her pillow as Belldandy stood in the doorway watching her, before she closed the door softly and turned to keiichi as she too broke down in tears;
-If I speak ill please, humour me
Won't rant on endlessly
Just thought I'd try to make you see-
it tore her up to see her older sister like that, so she cried into keiichi's chest. keiichi looked up and thought to himself "maybe i should talk to him tomorrow, try to smooth things out between him and urd"
-It doesn't solve a thing to dress it,
in a pretty gown
A stone will not need you to guess if,
you're still going to drown
So you know what drives me out
Out of my mind, oh-
at his dorm room, josh had just gotten out of the shower and had a white towel covering his right wrist, which was mostly caked with his blood. he removed the blood soaked towel and threw it away, before he collapsed onto his bed resting his head onto his hands. he looked up to the ceiling for a minute before he said softly "guess i'll go and see him tomorrow".
-It's whatever makes you see,
makes you believe
And forget about the premonition
you need to conceive
The images they sell are Illusion & Dream
In other words dishonesty-
<i really screwed up big time didn't i father?> Urd thought as she laid on her bed, clutching her tear-stained pillow close to her chest "why? why couldn't i talk to him normally? why did i have to get drunk tonight and yell abuse at him?" were the questions she asked herself before the phone in her room began ringing "oh no, it's him" she whispered as she climbed out of the bed and walked softly to the phone. she picked it up and whispered as she struggled to talk, wiping a tear from her eye..
"h..hello?"
"it is i"
"father?" she said on the verge of tears. she screwed up big time and here was her father probably going to suspend her liscence as well, to add insult to personal injury
-So can you name your demon?
Understand it's scheming
I raise my glass and say "Here's to you"-
"yes." a moment passed before "what is wrong my daughter?" HE asked, feeling that his daughter was upset. contrary to what some people believed, god wasn't a bad bloke, it was just that by the time he got around to doing one thing it was too late. anyways,
-Can you chase your demon?
Or will it take your freedom?
I raise my glass and say "Here's to you"-
"sniff.... father, i think i've screwed up my assigment and now he hates me. the problem is that i was drunk so i wasn't in control of what i said, so i said something that upset him" was all she managed to say before she started crying, the moonlight illuminating her tears as they fell like winter snowflakes onto a snow covered ground.
-I've got no hand in matters worldly
I hardly care at all
What's going on fails to concern me
'Cause I'm locked behind my wall
But you know what drives me out
Out of my mind oh-
the voice on the other end paused for a moment before he said
"easy my daughter, seeing as how it was an accident, i will forgive you for this and i will not suspend your license but i want you to try and patch things up with him. i do not mean to sound angry with you my daughter when i say this, but if you cannot patch things up with him, i will send her down in your place" he offered
-It's whatever makes you see
Makes you believe
And forget about the premonition-
Urd turned and looked out to the city through her window and thought <josh, i really hope you can forgive me> as he said "what do you say my daughter?"
-you need to conceive
That the images they sell are Illusion and Dream
In other words dishonesty-
she sighed and wiped a tear from her eye as she said "alright. i'll try to talk to him tomorrow. if i fail, i want to be assigned to a different position where i don't have to deal with the earth or him when i have to come back, alright?"
"alright. i will call again in one week to check on your progress with him"
"yes father" she said as she looked down to the floor
-So whatever makes you see
Makes you believe
And forget about the premonition
you need to conceive
The images they sell are Illusion and Dream
In other words dishonesty-
"listen urd, if you manage to repair things with him even slightly before my next call, then i won't send her to replace you. alright?"
"yes"
"take care my daughter. tell your sisters that i send my love and that belldandy has to renew her license in the next earthrealm month. listen carefully urd for if this works out better for the both of you, you will be promoted to goddess first class category three unlimited. fair?"
"thank you father"
-With silence comes peace-
"Urd, i love you and i want nothing but yours and your sisters happiness, so i'll help where i can but it's you who is to try and get him to open his heart to you. take care my daughter. das vidanya" he said as the phone went -click- which signaled that He had hung up, so she put the phone back and thought <i'll go and see him tommorrow and try to heal this problem> as the night's events flashed through her mind "YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME, SO GOT TO HELL YOU BITCH!!!" he'd said earlier, making her drop to the ground and and huddle up on the floor
-With peace comes freedom-
"oh god, what've i done?" she said as she cried to herself. she found her stash of sake bottles and picked them up and just threw them into the wall in a sorrow filled rage. she looked down and noticed a jagged piece of glass had gone halfway through her hand and was showing on the other side, flowing with her blood. it was then that she pulled the piece of glass out and dropped to the ground, crying until she slept that night...
-With the freedom comes silence-
day shone over the city, shining through the curtains and into Josh's room; annoyingly waking him from his slumber, "fuck off, it's too early" he groaned. he arose from the floor, not knowing how he got to that spot and put an aged and weathered hand through his curly dark brown hair before he turned and headed to the bathroom. he came out a few minutes later a bit cleaner and dressed in a black shirt, black leather jacket, black pants and a pair of black rimless glasses. "where are you going josh, i want to talk to you about last night"
josh turned to see keiichi, he was standing in the hallway with belldandy, who looked saddened as josh looked to them "i'm going to see a friend about something" "josh, we came here today to talk to you about you and urd"
"that bitch!!, now why the goddamn hell would i want to talk about her. now if you'll excuse me" he said as he approached the doorway. keiichi stood in the doorway, making him say "get out of my way mate. don't think i won't hesitate to knock you down because i will. you should know that by now" keiichi stood firm and said "i know, but you're not leaving until we've talked about urd" josh's anger boiled as he said "i don't want to talk about it with the two of you. if that slut wanted to talk me she should've come to see me herself!" "you're not going anywhere" keiichi said before he was cold-cocked in the jaw.
josh went down the stairs and rubbed his fist, saying "i told you not to get in my way. if she wants to goddamn talk to me, she can come and see me herself" and exiting the dorm, heading to the dodge and starting it up as he left keiichi and belldandy to sit on the steps with belldandy nursing his jaw. "oh keiichi-san, he hit you, i'll go and do something about him if you want?" keiichi smiled and said "don't worry belldandy, i've taken worse from other people. we'll give him a chance to calm down and eventually he'll talk to urd. you may not know it belldandy, but once you get to know him, he actually isn't such a bad guy. it's just that he's apparently had a bad past which gave him issues"
belldandy looked to him and said "alright, if you say he's alright then he's okay by me keiichi-san although i can feel a dark aura eminating from his soul" keiichi smiled and said "you've just gotta trust that those two will work out their problems. now i'm going to go and call urd, and tell her to find him in the graveyard if she still wants to talk to him" "alright" said belldandy as they both went back inside the dorm.....
an Ah My Goddess Self Insert - Part 1
Two weeks passed and the dorm phone rang. Josh groaned and sat up. He fumbled for the receiver, knocking the phone onto the ground. He sat up, re-adjusting his beanie and grabbed the receiver and put it to his ear.
Josh: (half-asleep) “mmm’ello?”
Voice: “Josh, is that you?”
Josh: “kei, what’s up?”
Keiichi: “just wanted to tell you that I moved into the temple up on top of the hill. Also, if you want to, we’re having a party tonight”
Josh: “so let me get this right, you’re asking me if I want to show up at your party, am I right?”
Keiichi: “yep”
Josh: “sure whatever, I’m gonna bring a few friends though. I’ll be there in half an hour”
Keiichi: “alright” (hangs up the phone)
Josh put the receiver back on the phone and decided to get cleaned up. After his shower, he got on his bmx and rode it into the back streets of Makuhari. As he cycled, he nodded to the various shop owners as they smiled and waved to him. He frowned as a police car drove by him, but did nothing so he rode on by. He rode down a side street and stopped as a group of guys crowded around him “’sup dawg, how you been nigga?” “Nothing much, b-box. Get the boys together; we’re going to a mate's party” “alright man, i'll get the boys” said b-box as they greeted each other. He let go and went away for about ten minutes. He came back with an assortment of cars, bikes and four wheel drives. One car pulled up next to Josh and he jumped in.
Back at the party, it was well underway. Belldandy wanted to spend some time with her Keiichi, but he was dragged away by Tamiya and Ootaki, but not before they started to hear something resembling music. The whole crowd ran out to the front, in time to see Josh and his homies arrive, to the tune of “bad boy for life” by P.Diddy, Mark Curry & Black Rob. They saw two motorbikes do burnouts on the road, leaving a smoke trail, to the excitement of the other motor club students.
Keiichi managed to get past them in time to see Josh emerge from a bouncing Cadillac “what’s this?” Josh looked behind him, turned back to Keiichi and said “dude, this is how you throw a party” as two of his guys started carrying turntables and mixing desks into the alcove they’d made for the party. As they went to the alcove, they saw a jukebox there; it was playing some weird music, so the two pulled out their Berettas and shot it to pieces. Tamiya was livid “what did you do that for?” Josh was surprised as the rest of them, but he smiled and said “dude, don’t worry. We’ll hook you up with a new one, okay? it's real cheap too, so don't worry man” as he put an arm around his shoulder. He turned to see that the DJ was set up, and another guy was there, grabbing the microphone off the table. As the beat started, the rapper began rapping the song "X gonna give it to ya" by DMX:
Arf arf
Yeah, yeah, yeah (Grrrr)
Uh, Yeah don't get it twisted
This rap shit, is mine
Motherfucker, it's not, a fucking, game
Fuck what you heard
It's what you hearin
It's what you hearin (Listen)
It's what you hearin (Listen)
It's what you hearin (Listen)
[Verse 1]
X gon give it to ya
Fuck wait for you to get it on your own
X gon deliver to ya
Knock knock, open up the door, it's real
Wit the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel
Go hard gettin busy wit it
But I got such a good heart
I'll make a motherfucker wonder if he did it
Damn right and I'll do it again
Cuz I am right so I gots to win
Break break wit the enemy
But no matter how many cats I break bread wit
I'll break who you sendin me
You motherfucker never wanted nothin
But your wife said, that's for the light day
I'm gettin down, down
Make it say freeze
But won't be the one endin up on his knees bitch
Please, If the only thing you cats did is come out to play
Get out my way
[Chorus: DMX]
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
[Verse 2]
Ain't never gave nothin to me
But everytime I turn around
Cats got they hands out wantin something from me
I ain't got it so you can't get it
Lets leave it at that cuz I ain't wit it
Hit it wit full strength
I'm a jail nigga
So I face the world like it's Earl in the bullpen
You against me, me against you
Whatever, whenever nigga
What the fuck you gon do?
I'm a wool fin sheep clothing
Only nigga that you know that can chill
Come back and get the streets open
I've been doing this for nineteen years
Niggaz Wanna fight me? Fight these tears
I put in work and it's all for the kids
But these cats done forgot what work is (UH-HUH!)
They don't know who we be
Lookin! but they don't know who they see
Nigga!
[Chorus: DMX]
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
[Verse 3]
Aiiyo where my niggaz at?!
I know I got them down in the game
Give em love and they give it back
Talk too much for to long
Don't give up your to strong (What?!)
A dog to bow bow hug it
Shoutout to niggaz that done it
And it ain't even about the dough
It's about gettin down for what you stand for aiyo
[Chorus]
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
Josh moved through the party, stopping to grab a cup of beer. it was then that Time seemed to almost slow to a stop as he moved through the party, when he saw her. She was lying back on a chair, drinking a lot of sake and getting rowdy. She had long beautiful platinum hair, sparkling (well not at the moment) jade coloured eyes as well as lovely and beautiful tanned skin. To him, she was the vision of beauty itself. “Need a refill?” “Yesssshhhh, and make it shhhhnappy” she said with a drunken slur. He sighed as he went over to fetch a bottle of Jim beam which was sitting in a bucket with some other bottles as well as some ice, which was for cooling the bottles. He went back over and she stretched out to him the cup, shaking it as he came closer. He was about to pour some when he thought better of it <no, theres no way i can do it. look at her, she's already pissed drunk. there's no way i will do it to her> he thought to himself.
He took the bottle and sat down on the chair next to her. “What’s your name miss?” she frowned and said “why should i tell you that? you gonna give me some more or what? the names urd by the way” he shook his head sadly and said “no, you’ve had too much already” she was pissed, she threw her cup on the ground and practically yelled at him “what do you care, you’re probably just coasting through life, now give me more sake” which really set Josh off, just as they were starting to play “points of authority” by Linkin Park.
He stood up and said “you fucking bitch!!!! You have no idea of what I’ve suffered, what I’ve had to endure, the things and people I’ve lost, so don’t go complaining about me and what you think are my problems when you have no idea what the hell you're talking about. You don’t, scratch that, you’ll never understand me and my problems so GO TO HELL YOU BITCH!!” he shouted as he threw the bottle into the wall next to her, shattering it on impact. He stormed off to the front of the temple and sat with his knees curled up to his chest.
He sat near the road and started to cry "why? why do people hate me?" Before he curled his rage at Urd into his fist and punched the stone wall. He laid back and looked at the moon. As he looked at the moon, he began to remember and old Dmx song from his album “the great depression” entitled “sometimes” he began rapping……
“Sometimes I wonder what life's about
Sometimes I wonder why the lights are out
Sometimes I wonder why I like to shout
Sometimes I wonder what the lies are about
Sometimes I see things I shouldn't have seen
Sometimes I wonder why, I'm a hood and a fiend
Sometimes I look at what I've become and cry
Sometimes I, get on that BULLSHIT and be ready to die
Sometimes a nigga that's yo' man might get it
Sometimes even though it's sweet, if you ain't wit it
Sometimes the pain is too much to BEAR
Sometimes it RAINS too much to care
Sometimes if you, don't watch yo' back it'll cost you
Sometimes you wonder who would give a FUCK if they lost you
Yet sometimes the sun shines around the clock
But sometimes it's dark, and hell is hot”
He sighed and stood up, turning to leave and got into a spare dodge and started it up, driving it down the road, away from the party, away from the lights and away from her. he parked the battered dodge next to the dorm and sat back on his seat, before he caught the sight of two scars, one on each wrist, which saddened him because he remembered why, why he had those scars. he grabbed his jacket as he turned off the ignition and opened the door of his dodge, climbing out and taking in the crisp night air before he shouldered his jacket and walked sombrely into the dorm. he walked through the hallway, until he approached his room. he opened the door and stepped into it. the walls of his room were littered with posters of bands like Staind, Seether, Disturbed and Godsmack even ones of australian bands like Powderfinger, Midnight oil and The Cat Empire. he threw his jacket over onto his desk and headed over to a stereo system he had set up on his desk. he put the stereo to play 04 and pressed play. eventually the room was filled with the tune of "illusion & Dream" by the Poets Of The Fall as he started removing his clothes, heading towards the shower.
-Look in my eyes I'll make you see
We're drifting aimlessly
Blind in a world of make believe
Hear them sing their songs off key
n' nod like they agree
Buying the needs to be discreet-
as he showered he reached out and grabbed a razor before he brought it to his wrist and dragged it slowly against his right one.
-I've got no hand in matters worldly
I hardly care at all
What's going on fails to concern me
'Cause I'm locked behind my wall
But you know what drives me out
Out of my mind oh-
josh just stared as the blood began to flow from his wrist.
-It's whatever makes you see
Makes you believe
And forget about the premonition you need to conceive
The images they sell are Illusion and Dream
In other words dishonesty-
back at the temple, urd laid on her bed, crying into her pillow as Belldandy stood in the doorway watching her, before she closed the door softly and turned to keiichi as she too broke down in tears;
-If I speak ill please, humour me
Won't rant on endlessly
Just thought I'd try to make you see-
it tore her up to see her older sister like that, so she cried into keiichi's chest. keiichi looked up and thought to himself "maybe i should talk to him tomorrow, try to smooth things out between him and urd"
-It doesn't solve a thing to dress it,
in a pretty gown
A stone will not need you to guess if,
you're still going to drown
So you know what drives me out
Out of my mind, oh-
at his dorm room, josh had just gotten out of the shower and had a white towel covering his right wrist, which was mostly caked with his blood. he removed the blood soaked towel and threw it away, before he collapsed onto his bed resting his head onto his hands. he looked up to the ceiling for a minute before he said softly "guess i'll go and see him tomorrow".
-It's whatever makes you see,
makes you believe
And forget about the premonition
you need to conceive
The images they sell are Illusion & Dream
In other words dishonesty-
<i really screwed up big time didn't i father?> Urd thought as she laid on her bed, clutching her tear-stained pillow close to her chest "why? why couldn't i talk to him normally? why did i have to get drunk tonight and yell abuse at him?" were the questions she asked herself before the phone in her room began ringing "oh no, it's him" she whispered as she climbed out of the bed and walked softly to the phone. she picked it up and whispered as she struggled to talk, wiping a tear from her eye..
"h..hello?"
"it is i"
"father?" she said on the verge of tears. she screwed up big time and here was her father probably going to suspend her liscence as well, to add insult to personal injury
-So can you name your demon?
Understand it's scheming
I raise my glass and say "Here's to you"-
"yes." a moment passed before "what is wrong my daughter?" HE asked, feeling that his daughter was upset. contrary to what some people believed, god wasn't a bad bloke, it was just that by the time he got around to doing one thing it was too late. anyways,
-Can you chase your demon?
Or will it take your freedom?
I raise my glass and say "Here's to you"-
"sniff.... father, i think i've screwed up my assigment and now he hates me. the problem is that i was drunk so i wasn't in control of what i said, so i said something that upset him" was all she managed to say before she started crying, the moonlight illuminating her tears as they fell like winter snowflakes onto a snow covered ground.
-I've got no hand in matters worldly
I hardly care at all
What's going on fails to concern me
'Cause I'm locked behind my wall
But you know what drives me out
Out of my mind oh-
the voice on the other end paused for a moment before he said
"easy my daughter, seeing as how it was an accident, i will forgive you for this and i will not suspend your license but i want you to try and patch things up with him. i do not mean to sound angry with you my daughter when i say this, but if you cannot patch things up with him, i will send her down in your place" he offered
-It's whatever makes you see
Makes you believe
And forget about the premonition-
Urd turned and looked out to the city through her window and thought <josh, i really hope you can forgive me> as he said "what do you say my daughter?"
-you need to conceive
That the images they sell are Illusion and Dream
In other words dishonesty-
she sighed and wiped a tear from her eye as she said "alright. i'll try to talk to him tomorrow. if i fail, i want to be assigned to a different position where i don't have to deal with the earth or him when i have to come back, alright?"
"alright. i will call again in one week to check on your progress with him"
"yes father" she said as she looked down to the floor
-So whatever makes you see
Makes you believe
And forget about the premonition
you need to conceive
The images they sell are Illusion and Dream
In other words dishonesty-
"listen urd, if you manage to repair things with him even slightly before my next call, then i won't send her to replace you. alright?"
"yes"
"take care my daughter. tell your sisters that i send my love and that belldandy has to renew her license in the next earthrealm month. listen carefully urd for if this works out better for the both of you, you will be promoted to goddess first class category three unlimited. fair?"
"thank you father"
-With silence comes peace-
"Urd, i love you and i want nothing but yours and your sisters happiness, so i'll help where i can but it's you who is to try and get him to open his heart to you. take care my daughter. das vidanya" he said as the phone went -click- which signaled that He had hung up, so she put the phone back and thought <i'll go and see him tommorrow and try to heal this problem> as the night's events flashed through her mind "YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME, SO GOT TO HELL YOU BITCH!!!" he'd said earlier, making her drop to the ground and and huddle up on the floor
-With peace comes freedom-
"oh god, what've i done?" she said as she cried to herself. she found her stash of sake bottles and picked them up and just threw them into the wall in a sorrow filled rage. she looked down and noticed a jagged piece of glass had gone halfway through her hand and was showing on the other side, flowing with her blood. it was then that she pulled the piece of glass out and dropped to the ground, crying until she slept that night...
-With the freedom comes silence-
day shone over the city, shining through the curtains and into Josh's room; annoyingly waking him from his slumber, "fuck off, it's too early" he groaned. he arose from the floor, not knowing how he got to that spot and put an aged and weathered hand through his curly dark brown hair before he turned and headed to the bathroom. he came out a few minutes later a bit cleaner and dressed in a black shirt, black leather jacket, black pants and a pair of black rimless glasses. "where are you going josh, i want to talk to you about last night"
josh turned to see keiichi, he was standing in the hallway with belldandy, who looked saddened as josh looked to them "i'm going to see a friend about something" "josh, we came here today to talk to you about you and urd"
"that bitch!!, now why the goddamn hell would i want to talk about her. now if you'll excuse me" he said as he approached the doorway. keiichi stood in the doorway, making him say "get out of my way mate. don't think i won't hesitate to knock you down because i will. you should know that by now" keiichi stood firm and said "i know, but you're not leaving until we've talked about urd" josh's anger boiled as he said "i don't want to talk about it with the two of you. if that slut wanted to talk me she should've come to see me herself!" "you're not going anywhere" keiichi said before he was cold-cocked in the jaw.
josh went down the stairs and rubbed his fist, saying "i told you not to get in my way. if she wants to goddamn talk to me, she can come and see me herself" and exiting the dorm, heading to the dodge and starting it up as he left keiichi and belldandy to sit on the steps with belldandy nursing his jaw. "oh keiichi-san, he hit you, i'll go and do something about him if you want?" keiichi smiled and said "don't worry belldandy, i've taken worse from other people. we'll give him a chance to calm down and eventually he'll talk to urd. you may not know it belldandy, but once you get to know him, he actually isn't such a bad guy. it's just that he's apparently had a bad past which gave him issues"
belldandy looked to him and said "alright, if you say he's alright then he's okay by me keiichi-san although i can feel a dark aura eminating from his soul" keiichi smiled and said "you've just gotta trust that those two will work out their problems. now i'm going to go and call urd, and tell her to find him in the graveyard if she still wants to talk to him" "alright" said belldandy as they both went back inside the dorm.....