Fan Fiction / Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Harry vs. Voldemort: The theories ❯ Theory: The Star Wars crossover ( Chapter 2 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Theory 2: The Star Wars approach.
Um, Star Wars Harry Potter
Harry: You will pay my Parent's murder, you fag!
Voldmort: [Maniacal laughter] Dumby never told you everything did, he?
Harry: Actually, come to think of it, Hagrid is the one who told me everything, but He told me enough! You killed them!
Voldmort: No, young Naïve Harry! I, um, ah, am your dad's best friend's best friend!
Harry: Which one? He had quite a few.
Voldemort: Um, yeah, I recall three of them.
Harry: Peter Pettigrew?
Voldemort: No, no, he was a numbskull, um, there was this gay guy who had a last name that reminded me of one of those fine b****** from Final Fantasy 7… and was a really dumb blonde, but I guess that was already known…
Harry: Final Fantasy what?
Voldemort: You never heard of it?
Harry: No.
Voldemort: That's just sad.
Harry: No its not! (T_T)
Voldemort: OH well. Let's do this from the top: No Harry, I am your mother's father's best friend's brother's mother's -
Harry: Couldn't you say `your mother's father's best friend's mother'?
Voldemort: I'm in the process of copying a world famous line, all right? Give me some slack. Ok. From the start [inhale] No Harry: I am your mother's father's best friend's brother's mother's brother's grand-father-
Harry: You mean you're even older than you look?
Voldemort: Let me finish this so your stupid friends can come in here and kill themselves with noodles, alright? Uhum. From the top: No Harry, I am your mother's father's best friend's brother's mother's brother's grand-father's best friend's mother.
Harry: WTF?
Voldemort: What, you ruined the moment with you stupid questions!
[Ron, Hermione, and Ginny run in]
Ron: Oy, king o' the fags! Right here!
[No response, and awkward silence]
Ron: Boy, I need a new catch phrase.
Everyone else: Hell yeah!
[Suddenly noodles come out of nowhere and impale Ron]
Everyone: YEAH!
Dumbledore: [In hell] Shit.
Voldemort: Oh well. [raises wand]
Harry: wait! I have a better idea!
[3 minutes later]
[Harry and Voldemort are on Mustafar and have Lightsabers]
Voldemort: Hell lot more better than killing your dumb@$$ friends.
Harry: Just wait one minute. [Turns to Ginny] You brought him to me! You betrayed me! [lifts up hand in force choke fashion] Uh, why isn't it working?
Voldemort: [whispers to Harry] You never learnt the ways of the force, did you?
Harry: No (T_T) Oh well. Die B****! [Avada Kadavra on Ginny]
Hermione: I'll just step this way now… [steps back.]
Harry: Now die!
Voldemort: No you die!
Harry: No, you!
Voldemort: No you!
Harry: No, you!
Voldemort: No you!
Harry: No, you!
Voldemort: No you!
Harry: No, you!
Voldemort: No you!
Harry: No, you!
Voldemort: No you!
Harry: No, you!
Voldemort: No you!
Harry: No, you!
Voldemort: No you!
Harry: No, you!
[continues for another hundred pages. Eventually, Voldmort kicks Harry's @$$, but trips off the platforms and fall into the lava]
[In hell]
Harry: Where the hell are we?
Ron: Kind of a rhetorical question since we are in hell.
Harry: Ron? Here? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!