Fan Fiction / Zoids Fan Fiction ❯ Unforgettable ❯ painful past ( Chapter 6 )

Fiona let a sigh escape her mouth. She removed her hands from the keyboard that she had moments before been typing very quickly across. She brought her hands from to her head and lightly rubbed it while staring towards the computer screen in front of her.

 

Things had not gone as well as she had hoped for the dinner the previous night. Her fiancé was a bit agitated about something after the night was over and it was as if Van's wife hated her worse than she did at the beginning of the night. It was supposed to be something to create some peace about the things that happened in the past but they didn't go at all like she had originally planned.

 

`Why is it that at times I try and do something nice and it seems to backfire on me?' Fiona asked herself with another sigh while continuing to rub her head where a migraine was starting to form.

 

“Here Fiona, this might help with that,” Van said tossing her some aspirin. He had seen how she had been acting and knew what was wrong with her. It had almost always been that way even back then. Both of them seemed to know when there was something wrong with the other. It was like they had this very deep link to each other and Van was surprised that it was still there even after all of these years.

 

“Thanks Van. I really need this,” she said taking the aspirin in her hand and placing them in her mouth while taking a deep gulp of the water that she had at her desk at that moment. She could feel it working a little but the headache was still there.

 

“So what's up? You aren't one to get a headache from such a small amount of work,” Van said taking a seat behind his desk and looking to where Fiona was sitting to the side of the room. The two of them shared an office so it would be easy for them to work together, rather than separate offices where one would have to go and look for another if they needed help from the other.

 

“It's nothing really. It's just that I wanted to have that dinner to try and make things all right with you wife and me but it seemed to have the opposite effect. By the end of the night it was almost as if it had an opposite effect and she just seemed to dislike me even more,” Fiona said a little sadly.

 

“Don't worry about her too much. She doesn't really have a liking for any of my friends; just ask Irvine and Moonbay. I think she just feels a little threatened that if it came to a situation like that I would side with my friends rather than her because we go back farther than I do with her,” Van said standing up and walking towards Fiona desk and sitting against the edge of it a little while facing Fiona. “What I'm trying to say is for you to just forget about it all. I have been married to her for a while and yet I still have no idea how it's that she thinks,” Van said making Fiona giggle a little. It made Van feel a lot better to hear that come out of her mouth.

 

“Thank you Van. I really needed to hear stuff like that,” Fiona said with a smile before turning right back to her work and she immediately got started typing away at the computer once again with a lot more vigor than before. “By the way Van. There is something I want to ask you about your wife that I have been wondering for a while now. How is it that the two of you met?” she asked taking her eyes away from the screen again to look at Van.

 

“How indeed?” Van asked bringing his hand up to his chin rubbing it in a mock way of making it look like he was thinking. He was really just doing that to be a little funny. “How about this, I will tell you that if you tell me why?” Van asked looking towards Fiona because she knew exactly what it was that he was talking about.

 

“Sorry that I asked then,” Fiona said sadly turning back to the screen not really feeling like thinking about it at the moment. “I just don't feel like getting into that right now,” she spoke sullenly while typing very slowly at the computer.

 

Van was really hoping for an answer to the question that he has had for a while now. “Fine then. I won't force you to tell me if you don't want to but I do hope that someday you will be able to,” Van said quietly walking back to his desk.

 

Fiona looked towards Van sadly. Something deep within her demanded that she admit the truth to Van but her mind wouldn't allow her to. A repeat of their past was something that she really didn't need right now. `The past is the past. That is how it will remain now,' she thought sadly looking towards Van.

 

The past was part of her many problems right now. It was so full of problems that she wished to put it behind her hand focus only on the present and the future. `Maybe speaking of it would help to ease some of the problems though,' Fiona thought to herself. “Um… Van,” she said looking towards him to see that he had looked up from his work to look at her. “I have a bit of a confession to make,” she said very quietly but she was sure that Van had heard her.

 

When she said that, Van was immediately interested in what it was that Fiona had to say. He slowly stood up and walked back towards Fiona. “Sure, if you want to talk about it then go right ahead,” he said in a soft tone that he used to use when he was sure that Fiona was a bit uneasy.

 

“I was there Van. I was there at your wedding a year ago,” she said quietly and heard a slight gasp from Van. “Back then despite what I had done years before, I still harbored great feelings for you. I went to go talk to you,” she said turning her head away. When she felt Van place a comforting hand on her shoulder she released a breath that she didn't know she had been holding.

 

“What happened Fiona? Why is it that I didn't see you there when you came to talk with me?” he asked staring at the back of her head as it trembled a little trying so hard to suppress a memory but failing.

 

“I went and I saw you. I saw how happy it was that you looked. There was a smile on your face that at one time you would only give to me. I felt kind of jealous, a little hurt, and I ended up just running away from there. I told you that I met Ethan two years ago but I really didn't start to get involved with him until after your wedding,” she admitted in a sullen voice that sounded so tired at that moment.

 

Van had no idea that any of that even happened. He would have thought that someone would have seen her there but no one did. It was like she was unseen to any of them including him, Irvine, and Moonbay who happened to be her best friends. “I am sorry that you felt that way Fiona. I will admit though that I was happy back then, much more than I am now. Tiffany was different when I met her compared to how she acts now. When I first met her she had a very caring personality, much like yours. After we got married, it was almost as if she had changed a little and ended becoming who it was that she is today,” he said finding it as if a burden had been lifted off of him.

 

`I wonder what happened,' Fiona asked herself but she didn't go too deep into thought about it. “I am sorry that I brought all of this up Van. I guess that it really isn't a conversation that we should be having. I was just being a little stupid,” she said with a small chuckle as if all that she had admitted to Van on a few seconds prior was nothing more than a bit of meaningless information.

 

Van sighed and kneeled down in front of her. She continued to face away from him so he couldn't see what she was thinking because her eyes almost always told the truth for what it was. He lightly gripped her chin and turned it so that it would face him and he could look into her eyes. “You are not stupid Fiona. You need to talk about some of these things to someone at least. To hold so many secrets in just makes life difficult. If you need to talk about anything else, then just come to me and I will be all ears for you,” he said with a smiled that sent a tingling feeling through Fiona's heart.

 

“Thanks,” she mumbled with a slight sigh. “Well, it's getting a bit late so I had better start heading home so that Ethan won't worry about me,” Fiona said looking out the window towards the setting sun. “By the way, what time is it?” Fiona asked since she forgot her watch because she was in a hurry earlier in the day.

 

Van looked at his watch and his eyes widened a lot. “Crap! It's nearly eight. We should have gotten out nearly an hour ago,” he said with a small chuckle. “Looks like we were farther behind in our work than we thought,” Van said scratching the back of his head.

 

“Oh no! I have to go!” Fiona said getting up very quickly and after grabbing her stuff she made a mad dash for the door. She knew she would have to do a lot of explaining to tell Ethan why it was that she was home an hour late without even calling him about it first.

 

Van just watched her leave with a slight shaking of his head. “I wonder where the time went,” he said to himself. He wasn't too worried about his wife being worried because she told him that she would have been working late that night. Plus, even if she was home and he was on time, she would probably yell at him anyways. She had been doing quite a bit of that lately. Van knew why it was also; she was insecure about him working with an old flame. She was constantly reminding him in all the yelling that she was his wife. He actually chuckled a little at the thought of it.

 

*****

 

Fiona pretty much burst straight through the doors to the home that she shared with Ethan. She went as fast as she could without breaking any laws but she was still and hour and thirty minutes late coming home.

 

“Where's the fire?” asked Ethan sitting down in a chair with a book in his hands. There was a pair of reading glasses on his nose. He was watching Fiona intently as she tried her best to catch her breath.

 

“I'm… so sorry that I'm late. We were swamped at work and I didn't realize the time,” Fiona said bent over with her hands on her knees breathing heavily. She hated their long driveway because she ended up running down most of it just to get to the house.

 

Ethan chuckled slightly while standing up. He placed his book down on a table that was near him and calmly crossed the floor to Fiona. “Don't worry about it. You had a lot of work, but try not to make a habit out of working late and not telling me. It makes me worry,” he said placing his hands on Fiona's shoulders and rubbing them slightly. “You are very tense,” he whispered into her ears making her shiver slightly. “Why don't we head up to my room and I will show you something very relaxing,” he said giving Fiona a light push in the direction of the stairs.

 

Fiona suddenly stopped because she knew exactly what it was that he had in mind. She turned to face him with slight annoyance on her face. “You know that I'm not going to do something like that,” she said with a yawn.

 

“Oh come on Fiona. We are going to be getting married in a few months, what is just doing it a little sooner going to hurt?” he asked getting slightly annoyed with how stubborn she was about wanting to wait for marriage before she had sex.

 

“It will mean a lot to me if we did. Just because you continue to pester me about it doesn't mean that I'm just going to jump into bed with you. Can't you just respect my wishes and just drop the subject?” Fiona asked with another yawn. She was very tired and wished for nothing more than to be able to get to bed without getting into some sort of argument. “I am tired and heading for bed. Good night,” she said before running up the stairs before he could utter another word.

 

Fiona was getting a bit tired of his games. It was almost every day that he was trying to have sex. He knew she wanted to wait but he continued to press the subject. When her and Van had gone out, they may not have had sex but came close and Van didn't even have to pressure her to go for it. He always respected her wishes. Ethan was an entirely different story. It was like he craved sex more than anything. He was a kind person to her though, so she always put it aside as long as he didn't try to force her to have sex with him.

 

Fiona stopped at the very top of the stairs when she suddenly remembered something. She figured she would give him a bit of a warning before. “Oh, by the way, tomorrow after work I'm going out with Moonbay for a bite to eat. So don't wait up for me,” she said. She looked down at Ethan but she didn't know if he had heard her or not. Fiona just shrugged before walking towards and through her bedroom door and closing it silently.

 

`Damn it! Why it's so important for her to want to wait to get married before having sex. It's really getting annoying!' he said becoming very frustrated at Fiona. `Why does she want to wait anyways? I don't see the difference with waiting to have sex and just having it. What's the big deal! Maybe it was that Van Flyheight. No, I'm sure that she isn't the type of person to cheat,' he thought becoming more frustrated. `I just really don't know though. They did use to have a serious relationship but what is it that they have now?' he asked himself before doing as Fiona did and headed to his room for sleep.

 

When Fiona walked into her room she immediately went over and fell onto her bed. `I told Van the truth today. Why?' she asked herself because she was unsure as to why it was that she even brought up the subject of his wedding anyways. She always hated to think about that day.

 

Fiona then thought back to what it was that Van asked her earlier than that. He had wanted to know why. She for some reason just didn't have the heart to tell him the truth or anything for that matter. She didn't even want to think about then as well. Almost every memory she had for a long time had been a lonely and painful one to think about.

 

“Why am I thinking about all of this now?” she asked herself. `Because you know that the things of the past can't be buried so easily,” a voice in the back of her mind said causing Fiona to shake her head in order to get rid of it.

 

“The things of the past will remain just that. I can't keep dwelling in them,” Fiona told herself getting off of her bed and heading into the restroom. She felt like she could use a nice warm bath in order to be able to clear her head of all the thoughts that she had been having.

 

*****

 

Van walked into his spacious, empty house about an hour after him and Fiona had left work. As he had been told earlier, his wife had to work late that night so he had the place all to himself. He was actually very thankful for that because he didn't feel like putting up with Tiffany nagging about Fiona for tonight.

 

Even though Tiffany had been acting that way about Fiona, she had started to become more of the wife that he wanted from the beginning. It was kind of strange for Van. Ever since he had gotten married to Tiffany, he had wanted that but now that he had it, he wasn't sure that it was what he wanted anymore.

 

His life had become a complete mess within the past few days. Ever since Fiona came back into his life, he had started to gain his wife again but also at the same time she was becoming even worse than she was before. She has become very possessive over him. She had almost forbid him to hang out with his own friends.

 

The fact that Fiona was back in his life didn't really make it any easier either. He didn't know if he could actually say that he felt the same way that he did back then, but his mind seemed to be on her a lot recently.

 

`Kind of hard to deny something that you know was right back then and could still be even now,' his mind seemed to taunt him making Van become a bit annoyed. `You love her so greatly back then and yet you made an extremely stupid mistake and lost the love of your life, your soul mate,' it continued to taunt.

 

`Shut up! I'm married to Tiffany so I can't allow myself to get caught up in things that I had worked so hard to put behind me,' Van mentally yelled at his brain although a part of him knew that it was right.

 

`Did you really put it behind you?' it asked so simply stated that it kind of scared Van. His mind knew that it was right and Van knew that too. It didn't really mean that he had to accept the truth as well.

 

“I really need to stop thinking about all of this. I think I'm going crazy over it because I'm talking to myself. So I really just need to stop thinking about it period,” he told himself. Before relaxing deep into his sofa. His mind seemed to just stop talking to him after that and Van was very thankful to it.