Fan Fiction ❯ Everything You Want ❯ Letting Go ( Chapter 13 )

Everything You Want

Chapter 13:

Letting Go

 

 

 

Robert Campbell stood in the entrance of his empty home and looked around as if he'd never been there before. Standing there, he thought back to the events that had led him to this moment.

 

Kathy leaving him, his depression, drinking away all his hurt and sadness, ending up in the hospital, realizing what a selfish ass he was, one hellish month spent in a detoxification clinic… All of those things had led him to this.

 

Those events had, in a way, made him stronger. He now knew that he could still miss Kathy and not let his grief take over his every waking moment. It wasn't so much forgetting as it was letting go. He would never forget the time he'd spent with her, but he understood now that she wouldn't want him to stop living just because she had.

 

That would imply that Kathy was selfish, which was just about as far from the truth as you could get. No, she would want him to live his life to the fullest. To be as happy and content as possible. For a long time he'd thought that being happy meant he was somehow betraying Kathy.

 

How could he even think of laughing and smiling without her beside him? Didn't that make him a horrible person? No, he understood now, it didn't. With this new knowledge, he was determined to make up for his past transgressions and start anew.

 

Bella, his darling baby girl, would never be hurt again on his account. He didn't know if she would forgive him, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try his damndest anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

Bella knelt down beside the now familiar tombstone and closed her eyes. “Sometimes when I'm here, talking to you, I think I can almost feel you next to me if I shut my eyes. Is that silly?”

 

She sighed and continued, “I came by myself today, momma. Cole had to work. Did I tell you that we're dating, now? Everyday that I wake up in his arms I ask myself how it is that we were lucky enough to find each other. It's almost as if he's my other half, ya know? Was it like that with you and dad, too?”

 

Bella paused, eyes still tightly shut, and let her thoughts drift to her father. “Daddy really misses you. I know he wishes that he would've died with you, even though Cole tells me that that's not so. Why else would he deliberately destroy himself like this if he didn't want to die?”

 

Bella felt tears rolling down her cheeks, but she just angrily brushed them away. “It feels like my heart is full to the brim with anger and bitterness and grief and I just don't know what do! How can I be happy when I'm so torn up inside?” she sobbed as tears streamed down her cheeks.

 

“I'm sick of crying. I just want to be happy…” Bella sank to her knees and rested her head on the solid, unforgiving stone in front of her. Feeling a gentle hand on her shoulder, Bella's eyes flew open as she gasped, “Momma?”

 

“No, baby,” murmured a male voice. Spinning around, Bella found herself wrapped into a warm embrace.

 

“Daddy…” Bella sighed as she curled herself around him tightly with a sob. Holding his daughter close, Robert pulled her shaking form into his lap and rocked her like he used to do when she was a baby.

 

“Shhhh, daddy's here now,” he chanted softly as Bella sobbed into his shoulder.

 

Pulling back a little, Bella wiped at her eyes and placed a trembling hand upon her father's cheek, as if she was trying to determine whether or not he was really there. “What are you doing here? Cole told me you were in a clinic.”

 

Still cradling his daughter, Mr. Campbell sighed and wiped away the tears still lingering to her flushed cheeks. “I was. The doctors there thought it was about time for me to stop hiding and get back into the swing of things.”

 

“Oh. Are you… better now?” she asked hesitantly.

 

“I don't know if I'll ever be better, sweetheart, but I have learned to cope with my emotions instead of trying to drown them. I will never leave you like that again. I promise.”

 

“Daddy, I-“

 

“No, you don't have to say anything. I know I'm going to have to earn back your trust and I don't expect you to forgive me on the spot,” he smiled sadly as he ran his fingers through her flaxen tresses, “I've been such a bad father. I don't know if I'd be able to forgive me if I was you...”

 

Bella shushed him with a finger to his lips. “I already forgave you weeks ago. The day when I woke up and realized that you and I were doing the same thing in different ways.”

 

“We were both running away, hiding from the real world, and now I know that that's no way to live. A very wise person told me to `suck it up.' That mom would want me to embrace life, not run from it.”

 

Robert chuckled. “I think I know the wise one you speak of. He said something very similar to me right before he threatened to take you away if I didn't quit being such a quote unquote, selfish bastard.”

 

Bella gasped with a horrified expression on her face. “Cole said that? Oh my God! He told me he'd spoken to you, but he never told me what he said!”

 

Mr. Campbell laughed and smiled reassuringly down at the girl sputtering in his arms. “Don't be too mad at him, Bella. He told me what I desperately needed to hear in order to snap me out of the hole I'd dug myself into. The threat of losing you is what drove me to sober up and strive to become the father you need to me to be.”

 

Bella smiled, happy tears welling in the corners of her eyes. “I've missed you so much, daddy.”

 

Robert hugged his daughter fiercely to his chest. “I've missed you, too, baby. What do you say we make a promise to your mom, that from this day forward, we let go of the past and stop running from the future.”

 

“Like you, I'm tired of crying and you know how mom hated to see us sad.”

 

Brushing the tears again from her cheeks, he leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. “What do you say, Bell? Ready for a new beginning?”

 

Pushing herself from her father's lap, Bella stood up and reached down to grab his hand with a look of resolve and purpose swirling in the depths of her cerulean orbs.

 

“As long as the people I love are beside me, I'm ready for anything life has to throw at me.”

 

 

 

 

 

Cole kicked open the door of his bedroom and threw himself down face first beside Bella on the bed.

 

“Argh…” he groaned. Bella put aside the Calculus problem she was currently working on and rested her amused eyes on the whimpering, moaning form beside her.

 

“Long day, Cole?” she murmured sweetly as she poked said lump with her pencil. Cole just grunted and turned his head slightly to glare at her through half closed eyes.

 

“I'll take that as a yes,” Bella giggled as she stretched out at his side and kissed his shoulder. Grunting once more, Cole wrapped an arm around her slender waist and pulled her close.

 

“Work sucks,” he muttered as he breathed in her clean, fresh scent. Bella sighed contentdly and slipped a hand beneath his shirt to rub comforting circles on the skin of his back.

 

“Rough day huh?”

 

Cole snorted. “That's an understatement to the pure hell I went through today.”

 

Bella narrowed her eyes curiously. “You work at a library, Cole. What possible hell did you have to deal with? Did someone not put a book back on the right shelf?” she taunted with a teasing smile on her lips.

 

Cole scowled at her. “You try keeping seventy screaming, crying, whining eight year olds busy for two hours and then tell me how easy my job is,” he growled as Bella winced sympathetically.

 

“Oh, baby. I feel your pain…” she murmured soothingly as she pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Shifting a little, and slanting her head to deepen the kiss, Cole sighed and let the stress from his day melt away.

 

Breaking the kiss gently, Bella pulled away and whispered, “I love you so much.”

 

A little surprised, Cole glanced down at her with a small smile. “I love you, too, Bell. What brought that on?”

 

“I spoke to my dad today, and he told me what you said to him,” she whispered as she tucked a lock of his glossy black hair behind his ear, “Thank you.”

 

Cole smiled and laced his fingers through hers. “How's he doing?”

 

“Much better. We had a long talk together this afternoon with mom, and I think that he's finally ready to move on with his life.”

 

“That's great,” Cole murmured as nuzzled his nose into her neck, “I guess that means you'll be going home tonight, huh? I can't say I won't miss waking up beside you.”

 

Bella sighed and snuggled deeper into his arms. “I told daddy that I wanted to stay here one more night and he said that it was fine.”

 

Cole smiled into her neck and nipped her earlobe gently between his teeth. “Mmmm, good…”

 

Bella giggled as shivers raced up and down her spine. “You're so good to me, Cole. What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?”

 

“Just lucky I guess…” Cole yawned sleepily.

 

Bella propped herself up on a pillow and watched as Cole drifted into sleep. Tracing his features lightly with her finger, she wondered at the man the boy she'd grown up with had become.

 

The only thing different was his outside appearance. Inside, he was still that brave little boy who'd stayed up all night and watched over her while she slept. Gazing down at his handsome, familiar face, Bella smiled wistfully.

 

`Someday I'll be the one strong enough to protect you from your monsters…'

 

 

 

 

 

*~~~~A/N~~~~*

 

 

 

Ya know, I never ever get tired of people telling me how amazing I am. LOL :o) But seriously, thank you soooooooo much for all the support, you guys. You're the reason I'm writing this story. *hugz*

 

 

 

 

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Next Chapter: Starting Anew