Fan Fiction ❯ Everything You Want ❯ Remorseful Decisions ( Chapter 18 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Everything You Want
Chapter 18:
Remorseful Decisions
“Cole…” Bella whispered as she distanced herself from Derrick, never removing her eyes from his intense emerald green stare.
She was transfixed by the emotions she saw raging for control there. Anger, hatred, confusion, and the one that stabbed through her like knives… hurt.
“It's not what it looks like, I-“
“Stop. Just don't, Bella. I heard everything, I know what happened,” Cole cut in sharply, “You and I will talk later.”
Bella almost shivered at the frostiness of his tone. `What have I done…?'
Cole turned away from her and directed his attention to the arrogant looking man leering at the scene unfolding in front of him. “You think you're so smart, don't you asshole? You think I can't see right through this? I know exactly why you orchestrated this little act, but unfortunately for you, your plan has failed.”
Derrick snorted and pasted a haughty expression onto his face. “How do you figure? Looks like it worked out pretty well to me.”
Cole snickered and shook his head. “What? You think I'm just going to drop everything Bella and I have worked for because she told a couple of lies? I don't think so.”
“You see, even if she doesn't trust me, I've always trusted her. I don't know why she didn't tell me she was seeing you, but she and I will discuss that later. Together,” Cole spared a glance over at Bella's guilty visage before turning determined eyes back to Derrick, “I will not let you tear us apart for your own selfish reasons.”
Derrick threw his head back with a bitter laugh. “You two are PATHETIC!” he snickered with a sneer marring his deceptively attractive features. “Do you really believe all that `love will conquer all' bull shit? Even I know that a relationship without trust will never last.”
Bella winced as she hesitantly took a step towards Cole. “I'm so sorry, I… He told me…” Bella gasped as Cole pulled her close.
Ignoring the surprised girl in his arms, Cole replied calmly, “We're pathetic? Are you seriously that delusional?”
Hardening his stare, Cole pushed Bella gently aside and advanced on the still smirking boy. “I don't know what your game is, Derrick, and honestly, I don't care. Stay the hell away from Bella. Nothing you can do or say will keep me from her.”
“Nothing.”
Spinning around, Cole grabbed Bella's hand and led her away from the still laughing Derrick.
“Oh, Bella!” He called mockingly, “Don't forget, you can always call me if you need someone to talk to…”
Tightening his grip on Bella's hand, Cole continued to walk until he could no longer hear the other man's taunting laughter.
The silence was deafening as Cole and Bella sat across from each other in the small restaurant. After leaving the school, the only words that had been uttered were, “We need to talk,” to which Bella just nodded.
Now sitting there, staring at each other, both knew what needed to be said, but neither knew how to say it. Bella knew he must have so many questions, but the only one that slipped past his lips was…
“Why? Why did you lie to me?”
Bella felt tears pool in the corners of her eyes at the pain she heard in Cole's voice. Keeping her gaze trained on the table in front of her, Bella murmured, “I… don't know. The whole time I kept telling myself it was because I knew how you would react but… I think we both know why...”
Cole crooked a finger under her chin, forcing her poignant blue eyes to his. “Why don't you trust me, Bella? Have I done something-“ Bella cut him off with a gentle finger to his lips.
“It's not you who I don't trust, Cole. It's myself. The truth of the matter is that I'm afraid. Afraid of the things I feel when I'm with you. Afraid that… I'm not good enough for you.”
“Bella-“
“No, Cole,” she interrupted with a shake of her head, “This has to be said. Please, just listen,” Bella pleaded.
Cole sighed and nodded.
“You are so amazing, Cole. I've never met anyone as strong as you, as completely honest. You're everything I strive to be. Everything I've ever wanted,” pausing, Bella wiped a wayward tear from her cheek and continued.
“I've learned so much from your example. How to stand up for what I believe in, how to face and conquer my fears, how to love…” Bella reached out to brush gentle fingers across his lips.
“I love you, so much,” she whispered. “But, there are so many things I have yet to learn. Things you can't teach me. Things I have to learn… by myself.”
Panic swelling within him, Cole shook his head feverishly. “No, Bella-“
“I'm never going to be able to stand on my own if in the back of my mind I know you're right there, behind me, waiting to catch me when I inevitably fall. I need to find out what it's like to depend on my own strength, and not the strength of others.”
Bella ran a trembling hand through her tousled blond tresses and fought against the lump forming in her throat. “I'm weak, Cole, and I'm tired of it. I'm sick of being manipulated, of being so damned naïve! I never want to see that look in your eyes again because of some stupid thing I've done.”
“Derrick was right about one thing. A relationship without trust is doomed to fail.” Bella tenderly cupped Cole's cheek in her palm as hot tears streamed from her eyes. “I don't want us to fail.”
“Are you… leaving me, Bella? Is this good bye?” Cole choked out. He felt as though his heart had just been ripped from his chest by her painful words.
A sob escaping from her half parted lips, Bella nodded and covered her face with her hands. “Yes. I don't want to, but…” swiping at her eyes, Bella stood up, “This has to be something I do on my own, Cole. For us to work, I need to learn to trust myself. That's the only way I can be free to love you like you deserve to be loved.”
Leaning down, Bella cradled his head between her palms as she placed a soft kiss on his mouth. “Wait for me,” she whispered against his lips.
Crushing her into his embrace, Cole screwed his eyes shut and breathed in her sweet, familiar scent as he murmured into her hair…
“Always. I will always be waiting for you.”
Pulling herself from his embrace, Bella rushed from the restaurant without a glance behind her. She knew if she looked back and saw him staring after her, she would lose her resolve and run right back into his arms.
Her mind knew she was making the right decision even though, inside, she felt like she was dying. Slowing her hasty retreat, Bella stopped and rested her head on the side of the building with a shaky sigh.
`Suck it up, Bella. You can do this.'
Straightening up, Bella stepped out onto the curb to hail a cab. `The faster you learn to be reliant upon on yourself, the sooner you can be back in his arms,' she lectured herself.
`For him, I can be strong.'
*~~~~A/N~~~~*
Wow, that took forever to write. lol Hence the lateness of the chapter. :o) Sorry to keep you waiting! Hope you enjoyed despite the tardiness. Tchao for now, all!
*~~Media Miner Reviewers~~*
Darkfire Storm: A voodoo doll, huh? LOL Thanks so much for your review and I'm glad you like my story. Unfortunately for Bella and Cole, there is much angst on the way for them… :o) Please continue to read and review. I get so freaking excited when I get new reviewers!!!
quirkyslayer: Awesome. I was hoping I didn't make Derrick's deception too obvious. I wanted to surprise people. No problem (about your stories, I mean) I really liked reading them. :o)
*~~Anime Spiral Reviewers~~*
LT Stryffe: Thanks, but I'm good. No injuries to speak of except maybe to my pride. Yeah, Derrick is pretty evil; sometimes I want to beat myself up for creating such mean character. lol :o)
nay-nay: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *HUGZ* Glad to see you're still reading, haven't heard from you in awhile. :o) lol
Xx_tearful_worries_xX: You don't understand, this story is all I think about. I am completely obsessed. My best friend thinks I'm crazy. lol I couldn't stop writing even if I wanted to! Yeah, you're right about the reviews. You hold a special place in my heart because you were my very first reviewer on Anime Spiral. Thanks bunches, chic! *BIG HUGZ*
Next Chapter: LongingTo Be With You
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