Fan Fiction ❯ Illusia ❯ Sawyer - A Disturbed Mind 3 ( Chapter 20 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Serenitychan13 
Chapter 3: Hunger and Trust
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Suspense / Supernatural / Romance / Fantasy / Action / Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.24.2004 | Updated On: 01.24.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 176 | Status: Completed
Chapter 3: Hunger and Trust
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Suspense / Supernatural / Romance / Fantasy / Action / Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.24.2004 | Updated On: 01.24.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 176 | Status: Completed
Chapter 3
She seemed content to stay there, thinking she was safe with me. I knew this was only making it harder on both of us. I thought of what I was going to have to do later and my breath caught uncomfortably in my throat.
I wondered whether I could really break her heart like that. I had tried to convince myself that I would not have any feelings for her, but I couldn’t help it. She was just so, I can’t even describe it…
Perfect… So innocent… And so beautiful…
Wait! Did I really just call her beautiful?
I looked down at her. She was starting to drift off again, letting her eyes fall half-closed, then snapping them open. I didn’t blame her in the least. She had definitely had a rough night. She had barely got any decent sleep at all. I still had a bruise on my side to prove it. During one of her nightmares, she had dug her elbow into my ribs. She was so thin that her elbow was quite sharp. I would probably have that bruise for good long while.
Yes… She was beautiful.
What are you THINKING? You know that if you fall in love with her now, the mission will fail and you will never achieve your goal!
Love? Had I really thought I was falling in love with her?
No! It’s not possible! I can’t love her… not like that…
I shook my head. Pushing my emotions aside, I picked up the sleeping girl, wrapped her in her blanket and laid her back on the leaf bed where she had started out. I shrugged back into the familiar trench coat and made my way to the front of the cave. I shivered slightly. There was snow coating most of the front of the cave.
No wonder she was so cold last night…
I stepped off the stone at the entrance to the cave and sank up to my knees in snow. Quickly, I jumped right back onto the stone and began to brush the snow off the tops of my boots. I couldn’t let the insides get wet.
Using my thumb and middle finger, I let loose a loud whistle. Soon, I heard hoofbeats.
The creature that galloped out of the brush at my call was not really a unicorn, just very similar. Almost death-like in appearance, it was jet black in color, its eyes a dark brown, almost black, and wild as wind. Not just one, but two horns, one above the other, sliced dangerously through the air as the creature tossed its head. Each horn looked like a spiraling rod of black diamond, and they were three times as hard. Thin but powerful legs ended in coal-black hooves that were hard as lead. Every muscle in the horse’s body rippled at the slightest movement. It had two tails, both of them inky black in color, as was its mane. This magnificent and powerful creature was called Thanatos.
I caught Thanatos by one of his deadly-looking horns, calming him and leading him back to the cave. Leaving him at the entrance, I made my way back to where the Princess still slept. She looked so pure and sweet, curled up under her soft white blanket with her long lavender hair streaming out around her. The early-morning sun shining on her face made her smile look absolutely angelic.
Gently, I eased her up into my arms and went back to Thanatos. Carefully, making sure not to wake her, I hauled myself onto the great black horse’s back, the tiny lavender-haired girl still safely settled in my arms. She shifted slightly, resting her head on my shoulder. Her soft, warm breath tickled my throat. I swallowed hard, new emotions overtaking my heart, not the least of which was sorrow.
Such a sweet, beautiful girl… Such purity and strength… I’m so sorry, Princess… Sorry for what I have to do… I’m sorry I’ll have to break your heart…
I was dreading that day when the inevitable would have to happen, when she would have to find out that this was all a lie.
But I’ll be your brother for now…
We rode at a steady pace until around noon. Then it started to snow again. The wind was picking up quickly. Soon it was howling in our ears and whipping our faces. Thanatos looked as if he had been dusted with white powder for a few seconds before he shook his doubly-horned head, scattering snow into the wind. The tiny ice flakes sprayed the Princess and me in our stinging faces.
I could feel her shaking again, but this time I could not sense fear. I looked down at her and brushed some snow out of her hair and off her face. When I got a good look at her face, I was horrified. She had turned a ghastly shade of bluish-grey from being so cold for so long. Pulling her closer to me, I wrapped my trench coat tighter around both of us. I got worried when she began to cough. Each breath shook her petite frame.
I steered Thanatos toward a fallen tree that appeared to have long since rotted out in the center. With any luck, it might be dry inside and I could get the Princess warm again. She was obviously not used to being out in this kind of weather and, judging by her dress, was ill-prepared for it. I halted Thanatos and dismounted, keeping the tiny girl close to me.
There was an ice block in the hole that led to the center of the huge tree. A sharp kick shattered it. As I climbed in, I felt a splinter of wood cut into the side of my face. Cursing, I continued to force my way to the center of the tree. It was large enough inside for me to stand at my full height with room to spare. It wasn’t half as dry as I needed it to be but at least we were out of the cutting winds. Thanatos was from a far colder place than Kerahneeah, so he was on his own in this case.
The Princess started to cough harder and I felt something moist and warm spreading across my chest. I tilted her head up to get a better look at her and saw a dark red streak at the corner of her mouth. Her eyes were blank, as if she were unconscious. I touched the place where I felt the odd sensation on my chest and looked at my fingers. They were covered in blood. I looked at the shaking girl in my arms again. The dark streak on her face was obviously a trickle of blood. This time it was my eyes which widened in utter horror as I realized she was coughing up blood.
The sight of blood was starting to do funny things to me. I gave myself a hard mental shake, cursing myself for even THINKING of that.
No! Not now! I have to help her, not kill her!
I heard her soft voice as she tried to speak, though nothing coherent came out.
Nothing but a small cry for “Pappa…”
After that, all I heard was a soft gurgling sound whenever a cough shook her small, thin, cold-numbed body.
I was growing frantic as the blood streaming from her mouth began to drive me wild with that strange hunger. But as usual, I hid it behind a mask of emotionless calm. I shifted her to one side, trying to wake her up.
I leaned down until my face was inches from hers, hoping the warmth of my breath would bring some circulation back to her cheeks. At the same time, I was trying to keep my thoughts from focusing on her throat. I contented myself with running the tips of my fingers lightly along the side of her slender throat, pausing slightly as I felt her heart beating.
“Princess… Can you hear me? Wake up… Please…”
Slowly, ice-coated eyelashes fluttered open to reveal pain-dulled lavender eyes. She opened her mouth again, but this time the only sound that came out was a quick, choked-sounding “ah.” More blood streamed from her lips, which were steadily turning a darker blue than the rest of her face. I knew if the circulation didn’t restart in her face soon, she would very likely end up with frostbite. If she did not fall to that, then quite possibly she would fall to a much worse kind of bite, if you know what I mean.
Finally, as she stared up at me blankly, she managed one coherent sentence:
“Sawyer, I’m so cold…”
A tear escaped from her eye, ran halfway down her cheek and almost immediately froze. My heart was being torn apart at seeing her like this, but I ignored it. I had to keep focusing on her only as an important part of my mission. Gently, I brushed the ice from her skin and began stroking her cheek, hoping to restore circulation with warmth from my hand, my strange hunger for the most part forgotten. Soon, her face was not as blue-tinged as it had been.
Something smelled like wet fur. It was that white wolf pelt blanket that she was wrapped up in. I pulled her blanket from around her and found that it was soaked through with melted snow. I tossed it aside. My coat would have to do for both of us. Wiping the blood from her lips, I guided her head to rest against my chest. Slowly, trying not to wake her, I curled up against the inside of the fallen tree with her sitting sideways in my lap, covered by the side of my coat. I drew it tighter to cover her completely and wrapped my arms around her. Seemingly by reflex, she nuzzled her cheek against my chest. I held her closer. I knew that I had to do everything I could to keep her warm.
She seemed content to stay there, thinking she was safe with me. I knew this was only making it harder on both of us. I thought of what I was going to have to do later and my breath caught uncomfortably in my throat.
I wondered whether I could really break her heart like that. I had tried to convince myself that I would not have any feelings for her, but I couldn’t help it. She was just so, I can’t even describe it…
Perfect… So innocent… And so beautiful…
Wait! Did I really just call her beautiful?
I looked down at her. She was starting to drift off again, letting her eyes fall half-closed, then snapping them open. I didn’t blame her in the least. She had definitely had a rough night. She had barely got any decent sleep at all. I still had a bruise on my side to prove it. During one of her nightmares, she had dug her elbow into my ribs. She was so thin that her elbow was quite sharp. I would probably have that bruise for good long while.
Yes… She was beautiful.
What are you THINKING? You know that if you fall in love with her now, the mission will fail and you will never achieve your goal!
Love? Had I really thought I was falling in love with her?
No! It’s not possible! I can’t love her… not like that…
I shook my head. Pushing my emotions aside, I picked up the sleeping girl, wrapped her in her blanket and laid her back on the leaf bed where she had started out. I shrugged back into the familiar trench coat and made my way to the front of the cave. I shivered slightly. There was snow coating most of the front of the cave.
No wonder she was so cold last night…
I stepped off the stone at the entrance to the cave and sank up to my knees in snow. Quickly, I jumped right back onto the stone and began to brush the snow off the tops of my boots. I couldn’t let the insides get wet.
Using my thumb and middle finger, I let loose a loud whistle. Soon, I heard hoofbeats.
The creature that galloped out of the brush at my call was not really a unicorn, just very similar. Almost death-like in appearance, it was jet black in color, its eyes a dark brown, almost black, and wild as wind. Not just one, but two horns, one above the other, sliced dangerously through the air as the creature tossed its head. Each horn looked like a spiraling rod of black diamond, and they were three times as hard. Thin but powerful legs ended in coal-black hooves that were hard as lead. Every muscle in the horse’s body rippled at the slightest movement. It had two tails, both of them inky black in color, as was its mane. This magnificent and powerful creature was called Thanatos.
I caught Thanatos by one of his deadly-looking horns, calming him and leading him back to the cave. Leaving him at the entrance, I made my way back to where the Princess still slept. She looked so pure and sweet, curled up under her soft white blanket with her long lavender hair streaming out around her. The early-morning sun shining on her face made her smile look absolutely angelic.
Gently, I eased her up into my arms and went back to Thanatos. Carefully, making sure not to wake her, I hauled myself onto the great black horse’s back, the tiny lavender-haired girl still safely settled in my arms. She shifted slightly, resting her head on my shoulder. Her soft, warm breath tickled my throat. I swallowed hard, new emotions overtaking my heart, not the least of which was sorrow.
Such a sweet, beautiful girl… Such purity and strength… I’m so sorry, Princess… Sorry for what I have to do… I’m sorry I’ll have to break your heart…
I was dreading that day when the inevitable would have to happen, when she would have to find out that this was all a lie.
But I’ll be your brother for now…
We rode at a steady pace until around noon. Then it started to snow again. The wind was picking up quickly. Soon it was howling in our ears and whipping our faces. Thanatos looked as if he had been dusted with white powder for a few seconds before he shook his doubly-horned head, scattering snow into the wind. The tiny ice flakes sprayed the Princess and me in our stinging faces.
I could feel her shaking again, but this time I could not sense fear. I looked down at her and brushed some snow out of her hair and off her face. When I got a good look at her face, I was horrified. She had turned a ghastly shade of bluish-grey from being so cold for so long. Pulling her closer to me, I wrapped my trench coat tighter around both of us. I got worried when she began to cough. Each breath shook her petite frame.
I steered Thanatos toward a fallen tree that appeared to have long since rotted out in the center. With any luck, it might be dry inside and I could get the Princess warm again. She was obviously not used to being out in this kind of weather and, judging by her dress, was ill-prepared for it. I halted Thanatos and dismounted, keeping the tiny girl close to me.
There was an ice block in the hole that led to the center of the huge tree. A sharp kick shattered it. As I climbed in, I felt a splinter of wood cut into the side of my face. Cursing, I continued to force my way to the center of the tree. It was large enough inside for me to stand at my full height with room to spare. It wasn’t half as dry as I needed it to be but at least we were out of the cutting winds. Thanatos was from a far colder place than Kerahneeah, so he was on his own in this case.
The Princess started to cough harder and I felt something moist and warm spreading across my chest. I tilted her head up to get a better look at her and saw a dark red streak at the corner of her mouth. Her eyes were blank, as if she were unconscious. I touched the place where I felt the odd sensation on my chest and looked at my fingers. They were covered in blood. I looked at the shaking girl in my arms again. The dark streak on her face was obviously a trickle of blood. This time it was my eyes which widened in utter horror as I realized she was coughing up blood.
The sight of blood was starting to do funny things to me. I gave myself a hard mental shake, cursing myself for even THINKING of that.
No! Not now! I have to help her, not kill her!
I heard her soft voice as she tried to speak, though nothing coherent came out.
Nothing but a small cry for “Pappa…”
After that, all I heard was a soft gurgling sound whenever a cough shook her small, thin, cold-numbed body.
I was growing frantic as the blood streaming from her mouth began to drive me wild with that strange hunger. But as usual, I hid it behind a mask of emotionless calm. I shifted her to one side, trying to wake her up.
I leaned down until my face was inches from hers, hoping the warmth of my breath would bring some circulation back to her cheeks. At the same time, I was trying to keep my thoughts from focusing on her throat. I contented myself with running the tips of my fingers lightly along the side of her slender throat, pausing slightly as I felt her heart beating.
“Princess… Can you hear me? Wake up… Please…”
Slowly, ice-coated eyelashes fluttered open to reveal pain-dulled lavender eyes. She opened her mouth again, but this time the only sound that came out was a quick, choked-sounding “ah.” More blood streamed from her lips, which were steadily turning a darker blue than the rest of her face. I knew if the circulation didn’t restart in her face soon, she would very likely end up with frostbite. If she did not fall to that, then quite possibly she would fall to a much worse kind of bite, if you know what I mean.
Finally, as she stared up at me blankly, she managed one coherent sentence:
“Sawyer, I’m so cold…”
A tear escaped from her eye, ran halfway down her cheek and almost immediately froze. My heart was being torn apart at seeing her like this, but I ignored it. I had to keep focusing on her only as an important part of my mission. Gently, I brushed the ice from her skin and began stroking her cheek, hoping to restore circulation with warmth from my hand, my strange hunger for the most part forgotten. Soon, her face was not as blue-tinged as it had been.
Something smelled like wet fur. It was that white wolf pelt blanket that she was wrapped up in. I pulled her blanket from around her and found that it was soaked through with melted snow. I tossed it aside. My coat would have to do for both of us. Wiping the blood from her lips, I guided her head to rest against my chest. Slowly, trying not to wake her, I curled up against the inside of the fallen tree with her sitting sideways in my lap, covered by the side of my coat. I drew it tighter to cover her completely and wrapped my arms around her. Seemingly by reflex, she nuzzled her cheek against my chest. I held her closer. I knew that I had to do everything I could to keep her warm.