Fan Fiction ❯ Llama Mamas ❯ IT'S LLAMA, DANGIT! ( Chapter 2 )

 

Last time in “Llama Mamas” . . .

 

“IMPA!” Zelda screamed at her nanny. “WHERE THE FREAK ARE MY SLIPPERS?!?!?!”

 

 

“I went up to my room at about 2 o'clock this afternoon, and I noticed the creature peering into my closet. It must have heard me enter, for it jerked its head out and quickly grabbed a paper bag full of some kind of item and ran down the hall, at speeds I had never thought possible. I gave chase, and before too long I leapt upon the creature's back with the help of my ninja skills.”

 

“OOO . . .” said Zelda, clearly fascinated with the tale.

 

“The creature opened its mouth in shock and let out some kind of honking noise. It dropped the paper bag, and before too long, we were wrestling for it. I stunned the animal with mace and grabbed the bag. Inside were a bunch of pairs of slippers! MY slippers!”

 

Zelda gasped, horrified by the outcome of the story.

 

“The animal regained his senses and noticed a single purple slipper, which belonged to my favorite pair, in fact. He picked it up with his mouth and continued to run down the hall. That was about the time he knocked you down, Princess.”

 

 

“La . . . La . . . La-lama!” said Zelda, pronouncing the weird word. “A creature that has been known for it's f . . . f . . . fuuunkyyyyy . . . funky! A creature that has been known for its funky looks, soft fur, and as an animal of burden.” Zelda said, closing the book with a proud smirk on her face.

 

“Well, we know that the la-lama is indeed an animal of burden, so slippers are defiantly not a personal interest.”

 

“But why would the la-lamas want OUR slippers? Surely there are other slippers out in the world that they could have taken.”

 

“Again, another hard question. Perhaps it would be better to sleep on it. Until then, do you know anyone that might know more about la-lamas?”

 

“Hmm . . .” Zelda said, thinking outloud. “Dad's advisors might know something.”

 

“Yes, but your father's advisors are still grieving his death. I don't think they would talk to the person that is now taking his place, even if you are his daughter.”

 

“True,” Zelda said. Then, she snapped her fingers. “I know! Link's fairy, Navi, might know something about it!”

 

Impa smacked her forehead. “Of course! Navi! How could we forget her? Zelda, once again your wisdom has led us out of trouble!”

 

Impa and Zelda laughed with happiness, glad that they found something out. They started to head back to their bedrooms, but unbeknownst to them, a long necked animal had been looking through the window . . .

 

 

Chapter 2: IT'S LLAMA, DANGIT!

 

 

Zelda woke up at about 7 o'clock the next morning, eager to set her meeting with Link and Navi into action. Of course, she had to do her morning chores first . . .

 

Picking up her list of things that she needed to do, she walked to her closet to get dressed in her usual and favorite pink dress. She had about 15 of them, and 7 had been torn by the la-lama that had come in the other day, so now she only had 8.

 

That thing . . . that thing would PAY!

 

Once dressed, she brushed her teeth and did her business. She did not need to worry about staining her dress, for this time she had the chance to sit on the throne and do it properly. Once done, she fixed her skirt and began her list of chores.

 

After practicing a “princess walk” and hair styling and make-up techniques, she noticed one thing on the list that she had yet to do.

 

“Wax the floor.”

 

Zelda nodded, then looked at the bloodstain from the other night. How DARE that animal make her search frantically to where she knocked over her vase and stepped on a shard?

 

Sighing and shrugging her shoulders, Zelda went to her closet and pulled out her buffer. Remembering what her maid had said, she went to her bathroom and grabbed her Clorox Bleach with Teflon cleanser and set to work.

 

First, she poured just enough cleanser to cover her entire floor. Then, taking her buffer, she turned the monster machine to the “ON” position. The buffer started to do its job, and Zelda began to do HER job.

 

Now, controlling buffers are hard, especially with a gallon of Teflon on her floor. Zelda slipped and slid all over the room, until soon enough, the Teflon seemed to work it's way into the marble. Zelda turned her buffer into the “OFF” position, rendering the monstrous machine quiet.

 

Zelda looked at her great work, then to where the bloodstain was. It was gone! Her mission was a success! Now to start on her other mission . . .

 

Zelda took a step forward towards her door, but due to the gallons of Teflon on the floor, slipped, fell on her rump, and instead SLID out the door. She continued to slide, somewhat enjoying herself, until she hit an opposing wall. With a loud CRASH she stopped instantly, now a heap on the floor.

 

Zelda regained her senses, then worked her way to the Drawing Room.

 

Once there, she pulled out a piece of parchment and a pen, then began to write the following:

 

Deer Link,

 

Hi! It's Princess Zelda! Wood u pleeze come 2 the cassle? There r sum impoortunt theengs that we need 2 talk abowt.

 

Luv,

Princess Zelda

 

P.S. Breeng ur farey over also. We need hur!

 

Smiling at her masterpiece, Zelda put it in an envelope and hurried to her postbox.

 

Zelda waited . . . and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited . . . then she blinked, and waited some more. And waited . . . and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited. She blinked again! It was so amazing how a human could just blink whenever they wanted to!

 

Speaking of which, Zelda thought about that. She had never realized how cool it was just to be able to move your body when you wanted to! Looking down at her index finger, she simply bent it to where it came towards her palm.

 

She had never realized how complex the body could be!

 

To think, something that seemed so simple was actually probably so complex! That fact that her brain, the control station of her body, was in her head, and her finger, which was far from the brain, was able to respond so quickly!

 

Moving her finger back and forth again and again, Zelda finally realized how neat the human body was.

 

She could do whatever she wanted to just be telling her body to do it! She could wiggle her toes instantly, wiggle her nose, talk, blink, and even think to herself! How could you just display images in your head? It was so interesting!

 

Was there some kind of television in your brain that showed you these thoughts? It sounded so easy, but it was so hard at the same time!

 

Zelda was surprised when she saw someone walk into her bedroom. Finally, Link was here!

 

“Oh Link!” Zelda shouted, throwing herself at him. “It's so good to see you again!”

 

“Yeah, you too!” said Link, patting her on the back but secretly rolling his eyes. “How's life?”

 

“It's wonderful! And look! I just figured something out! You think that just moving your finger is so simple, but have you ever thought about how complex it really is? Just look!” She proudly bent her finger up and down, and Link stared.

 

“Woah . . .” said Link, stupefied. `It DOES sound easy, but it really IS hard!”

 

“I know! The human body is so cool!”

 

Pretty soon, both of them were just sitting there, bending their fingers back and forth.

 

Zelda then shook her head. “Wait a minute. Where's my mind?”

 

“Right there,” said Link, pointing at her head. “Duh!”

 

“Oh shut up. Did you bring the fairy?”

 

Link pouted and crossed his arms. “Navi is NOT just “the fairy”, Zelda! She has a name! Fairy's have feelings too, you know!”

 

“Excuse me. Did you bring NAVI?”

 

“Yeah, I did. She's asleep in my hat,” Link replied, wiggling has hat around so Zelda could see. “Why?”

 

“We need her for something! Impa and I found something out!”

 

“What did you find out?”

 

“There's these things called la-lamas, and they steal slippers!”

 

“THAT'S WHAT THOSE THINGS WERE?!?!” said a shrill voice from inside Link's hat. Navi then flew out, glowing red. “THOSE BEASTS! THEY'RE GOING TO PAY FOR STEALING MY EXPENSIVE EXTRA-SOFT FAIRY SLIPPERS!”

 

“ACK!” screamed the brave Hero of Time. “FAIRY RAMPAGE! FAIRY RAMPAGE!” And with the bravery of a hero, he hid behind Zelda.

 

“Make it go away, Zelda . . .”

 

Zelda slapped Link, hard.

 

“Stop it! We need Navi!”

 

“Oh! You do?” Navi asked, calming down and returning to her natural white sheen.

 

“Yes!” said Zelda, smiling. “We need to ask you about la-lamas!”

 

“La-lama . . .” Navi said, deep in thought. “I can't put a finger on that name. If you could show me a picture, I might . . .”

 

“Right this way!” Zelda interrupted, leading Navi to the library and leaving a still cowering Link behind.

 

Once they reached the library, Zelda grabbed the book that had the picture of the la-lama in it.

 

“Here it is!” Zelda said, opening the bookmarked page with the picture.

 

“Oh! THOSE things!” Navi said. “Yeah! I know all about those!”

 

“Great! What can you tell us about them?”

 

“Well, the llama comes from a place called . . .”

 

“Uh, Navi?” Zelda said, interrupting again.

 

“Yes?”

 

“It's not `llama'. It's la-lama!” Zelda said with sass and rolling her eyes. “Duh.”

 

“Uh . . . Hate to say it, Princess, but it's llama. The second `l' is silent.”

 

“Uh, no. It's la-lama.”

 

“I'm sorry, but it's llama.”

 

“La-lama.”

 

“Llama.”

 

“La-lama.”

 

“Llama.”

 

“La-lama!”

 

“Llama!”

 

While the two girls were fighting, Link sat there, confused and scared, wondering what would be the outcome of the La-lama/Llama battle.

 

“LA-LAMA!”

 

“LLAMA!”

 

“LAAA-LAAMAAAA!”

 

“LLAAAAMAAAA!”

 

“LAAAAA-LAAAAAMAAAAAAAA!”

 

“SHUT UP!” Navi said, turning red again. Zelda shut up.

 

“IF YOU WANT MY FREAKIN' ADVICE, YOU TAKE THE ADVICE, AND THAT MEANS IT'S LLAMA! THE SECOND `L' IS NOT SILENT, DANGIT!”

 

Zelda sat down, looking quite embarrassed, and Link began to cry. He hated it when his friends fought! It was so confusing! Who was he supposed to cheer for?

 

“Now then,” said Navi, calmly. “The llama is just a little mammal that runs around, eats grass, makes noise, sleeps, and relieves himself all day. Nothing more, nothing less.”

 

Zelda raised her hand and waved it spastically. “OH! QUESTION!”

 

Navi rolled her (invisible fairy) eyes and sighed. “Yes, Zelda. What is it?”

 

“If the llamas are just cute little fuzzy animals, then why did they take my slippers?”

 

“Yeah,” added Link, back to his normal self. “Now that I think of it, they did take my Kokiri Brand slippers as well . . .”

 

“I don't know,” Navi said. “Are you sure it was a llama you saw, Zelda?”

 

“Well sure I'm sure!” Zelda said, rather angrily. “That beast knocked me down and didn't have the respect to apologize!”

 

Link gasped. “NO!”

 

“Yes! And it just kept on running, not even looking back!”

 

“Right,” Navi said, trying very hard not to laugh. “Well then in that case, what are we going to do?”

 

“I don't know,” Zelda responded. “We could put some kind of tracking device on a slipper and track it down.”

 

“So then we would know where all of the slippers were?” asked Link.

 

“Exactly! But where are we going to find something that can fit inside a slipper and not get any attention what-so-ever?”

 

Zelda and Link thought hard about this. Then they looked at Navi and stared her down. A determined smirk hit their faces.

 

“What?” Navi said, sounding a bit nervous. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

Zelda made a mischievous smile. “Oh, I think you know . . .”

 

 

 

 

Hmm. It seems that Zelda has thought of a plan to track down the location of the slippers, but what is it? Again, is it really that hard to figure out? Obviously, it has something to do with Navi . . . Will Navi be OK? Find out in the next chapter of Llama Mamas!

 

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