Fan Fiction ❯ Llama Mamas ❯ Seek Help ( Chapter 6 )

A/N: The clips from the last chapter part of the fanfic are going to be discontinued, do to the fact that I don't really enjoy doing it.

 

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Chapter 6: Seek Help

 

 

Our three heroes are now busy journeying across the vast fields of Hyrule. Zelda and Link rode on Epona, while Navi flew beside them. Zelda griped about how the wind was messing up her hair, and Link kept groaning from a wedgie he had. About 10 minutes later, they reached the vast shores of Lake Hylia.

 

“Crap,” said Zelda, frantically trying to straighten her hair. “It's like I just got it teased or something.”

 

“No,” said Link, shaking his head and looking at the mass of golden fluff. “Hair doesn't have feelings. You can't be teased if you have no feelings.”

 

Navi sighed a frustrated sigh and made her way towards the Lake Hylia laboratory. “Let's just go and ask this guy, now.”

 

Link nodded and grabbed Zelda by her arm, dragging her across the ground to the laboratory.

 

Link, who had walked in on the scientist many times before, simply opened the door as if it were his own. Zelda and Navi simply followed Link. Once inside, they noticed the place looked like what it normally did, much unlike the Windmill.

 

However, they noticed the figure of the lake scientist cowering in a corner.

 

“Woah,” said Link, making his way over to the Lake Hylia scientist, AKA Mr. Bob. “What's up with him?” He reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, but right before he could do so, Mr. Bob turned around and attempted to bite Link's hand. Quick at reflexes, Link took his hand back and screamed.

 

“WOAH!” said Navi. “Lay off the stimulants, man!”

 

“GO AWAY!” yelled Mr. Bob, who stared at our heroes with somewhat disturbing eyes. “GO!”

 

“Mr. Bob? Remember me?” asked Zelda, pushing a paranoid Link aside and taking a step towards the now crazy scientist.

 

“RACK!” screamed Mr. Bob, who then suddenly lunged at Zelda, fangs stuck out.

 

“ACK!” screamed Zelda as Mr. Bob grabbed hold of her already damaged hair. Zelda flapped him about a bit, and then spun her hair around to where Mr. Bob hit the closest wall. Mr. Bob lost his grip on Zelda, and now laid on the floor in an unconscious heap.

 

“That guy . . . scary . . .” said Link, as he slowly came over his new and sudden fear of Mr. Bob.

 

“Well, Manson said that the Lake Hylia scientist knows,” said Navi. “But now the Lake Hylia scientist is a victim of LSD, and is now on the floor lying in a heap. What should we do?”

 

“Don't know,” said Zelda, scratching her head and damaging her hair even more. “Split up and look for clues!”

 

Zelda and Navi fanned out, while Link curled up in a ball in the middle of the room, looking around with frantic eyes to see if any other scary scientists were lurking around.

 

After about an hour of searching, Navi shouted. “Look at this!” she shouted.

 

Zelda ran towards the white ball of light and sees what Navi is talking about. “NAVI!” she screamed. “WE CAN'T READ HIS JOURNAL! IT'S AN INVASION OF HIS PRIVACY!”

 

“Oh shut up,” said Navi, rolling her (invisible fairy) eyes. “If he didn't want us to read his journal, he wouldn't have it lying around. And besides, you do it all the time.”

 

Zelda opened her mouth, then close it, and opened her mouth again. “True, but I don't do it all the time.”

 

“This is my first,” said Navi, nervously.

 

“Oh sure. Your first what? Journal? What else have you gone into?”

 

“STOP IT!” yelled the fairy. “Just read it, OK?”

 

“Alright,” said Zelda. “Don't get your socks in a knot.”

 

“Socks . . . in a . . . knot?” asked the fairy, eyeing the princess strangely.

 

“Sure . . .” said Zelda, noticing the gayness of her comment. “Hey Link! Wake up and come read this with us!”

 

“OK!” said Link, suddenly perking up and heading over towards them.

 

“Alright, let's see . . .” said Zelda, flipping through the pages of the journal. “I guess we should start at the beginning. Hmm . . . The first date is . . . August 14, 1969!”

 

“This journal is 35 years old,” said the fairy, eyeing the journal with suspension.

 

“Meaning?”

 

“Mr. Bob was a hippy.”

 

“Ugh,” said Zelda, thinking of the thought of the now old geezer walking around in tye-dye clothes. She then decided to just read the diary.

 

August 14, 1969

 

Today, I headed for a magical land called Woodstock. I'm going there because there is a music festival that is to take place for three days! Personally, I can't wait `till I get there! The festival is to take place tomorrow.

 

“Wait, stop,” said Navi, motioning for Zelda to stop. “Skip ahead to where we might get to some important stuff. Just skim or something.”

 

“OK,” said Zelda, briefly looking at all the pages of the diary. Finally she caught something that seemed interesting.

 

“What is it?” asked Navi, noticing Zelda's sudden stop.

“I think I found something. Listen.”

 

July 19, 1985

 

Today I have started a new research project in my secret and most advanced laboratory in Moscow, Russia. While driving along in my BMW 325I, I noticed a large camel-like animal roaming around the weirdo region. I had never seen anything so great before, and decided to do research on it. I have captured the animal for further research and have brought it here to Moscow. Hopefully, my assistants and I will find out more on it tomorrow.

 

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July 21, 1985

 

After much research, my assistants and I discovered that the rare animal we captured was called the “llama”. We were fascinated with the llama, and decided why not clone the animal to make more llamas? So we did. We decided to name that llama, to be remembered for its moment of fame in science. We named him General Lenin.

 

July 22, 1985

 

We just now decided that it would be a great idea for llamas to have the same brain capacity as a human. We put General Lenin to sleep, and while he was, I operated on him. I switched his tiny brain with a human one that I had preserved. He has yet to wake up, so we decided we should clone him now while he was still asleep. There is little time left!

 

July 25, 1985

 

The cloning process is over, and we have made a terrible mistake. General Lenin and the clones woke up, and after they realized what had become of them, attacked my assistants. I am the only survivor. I managed to flee from the lab unharmed, and I know for a fact that the llamas are still there. I believe that they may be using it for their own purposes.

 

October 2, 1986

 

In have never told a soul about this, but I had put security cameras in my secret lab in Moscow. The footage recorded on those cameras are sent to my small lab at Lake Hylia in Hyrule. That is where I have been taking refuge, and remain secluded from the outside world.

 

The llamas, under the rule of General Lenin, are building weapons of mass destruction to destroy the world. I know it was because of me . . . Because of my research, I have put the world into peril.

 

I can't think straight anymore! I'm becoming insane! I know that the police are going to come to bring me to the Hyrule Insane Asylum. I received a letter from them. I now regret to say that I wish the best of luck to General Lenin and the clones. If you wish to bring destruction to the world . . . LET THEM BE!

 

“If you with to bring destruction to the world . . .” Zelda read aloud again. “I don't like this anymore, Navi.”

 

“Indeed, it seems a lot more serious than it was before,” said the fairy, a tint of worry in her voice. “I don't know how long it will be before the llamas finish the gun and fire it. But we need to hurry! What do we need to get to enlarge the Shiny Carrot?”

 

Zelda skimmed through the journal once more and said, “There's something in here about the Gerudos. Maybe they have it?”

 

“I guess,” said Navi, shrugging. “Where's Link?”

 

“Link!” called Zelda. She soon spotted Link, who was sitting next to the knocked out scientist, poking him with a stick. Every poke, Link let out an immature giggle.

 

“Stop it!” said Zelda, now very mad.

 

“Aw . . .” said Link, as he pocketed the stick. “Fine.”

 

Just then, Mr. Bob's hand came up and reached for Link. The three screamed and ran out of the lab as fast as they could. Before they left, Zelda looked back at Mr. Bob and said “Yo, freak man! Seek help!” She then ran away with the others.

 

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“Well, we're here,” said Link, looking at the Gerudo Fortress. Had he forgotten his Membership Card, he would be put in jail while Zelda and Navi were free to run around, and problem turn poor Epona into glue.

 

Link, Zelda, and Navi walked towards the entrance of the fortress. There, they found two guards practicing for the annual Pudding Wrestling Competition.

 

“Hello, ladies,” said Link in his most suave voice. The two pudding warriors looked up and noticed their old friend.

 

“Link!” the both said as they tried to stand up, but because of the puddingness, they couldn't. They crawled over to Link, and each tried to hug him. Link, who couldn't help but notice the gallons upon gallons of chocolate pudding on the floor, tried to contain himself from diving in. Soon enough, the guards managed to make their way towards him.

 

“Watcha need?” asked the first Gerudo guard.

 

“Well, we need to see Nabooru,” said Zelda, who was just in time to stop Link from saying whatever he was going to say.

 

“Ah,” said the second Gerudo guard, nodding her head. “Right this way.”

 

And so, a series of doors came and went and came. Soon enough, they found themselves in front of a large door with the Gerudo “sign” on it.

 

“Please, step in,” said the first Gerudo guard. The two guards tried to bow to our heroes, but because of the now dry and crusty pudding, they couldn't. Unable to move, they stood where they were.

 

Link pushed open the door and stepped inside, along with Zelda and Navi. They noticed Nabooru sitting on the opposite side of the room, sitting behind a very official looking desk with some official looking stuff on it. She was wearing a monocle and a visor and frantically writing something on a very official looking piece of paper.

 

Nabooru looked up when she heard the door open, and WOAH! There was Link! Zelda and Navi were there, too!

 

“Link! Zelda! Navi!” shouted Nabooru, clapping her hands and grinning. “Welcome to my office!”

 

“Hello Nab!” said Link, waving at his Gerudo friend. “We got something to ask you.”

 

“Spill it.”

 

“Well,” said Zelda, thinking of words to say. “We need to know if the Gerudo's have some sort of device that makes things bigger.”

 

“Oooh,” said Nabooru, nodding. “Yes, we do.” She then pulled out a stenopad and began to write the following words:

 

 

 

Subject Name: Zelda

 

 

 

“Tell me, Zelda,” said Nabooru, looking up from the stenopad. “Why do you want to do this? It doesn't look like you need it.”

 

“We need it to defeat the slipper stealing llamas!”

 

“Ah . . .” said Nabooru, making a disgusted look on her face. “Yeah, I know about them . . .” Then, with another disgusted look on her face, wrote down the following words:

 

 

Reason: To satisfy the needs of lonely llamas

 

 

 

“Zelda? May I ask you a question?” Nabooru asked, looking up from the stenopad.

 

“Yeah,” said Zelda. “That's what you've kind of been doing, anyway.”

 

“Uh . . . right. Anyway, Zelda, what you're doing is wrong.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because, you can't just give into the llamas so they'll stop threatening people! What they're doing is sexual harassment!”

 

“Sexual . . . harassment?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Uh . . . Nab. That's, not what I'm here for,” said Zelda.

 

“Well then what else would you need to use our growing device for?” Nabooru then looked at Link's waist, and then said “Oooh!”

 

“Good grief, woman!” said Navi, looking at Nabooru disgustingly. “What's up with you?”

 

“I can't help it, fairy!” said Nabooru, looking threatening at Navi. “That's the only reason why we use our growing device!”

 

“Well . . .” said Zelda, thinking of ways to still get the growing device. “Could we use it for this shiny thing?” Zelda then reached into her pocket and pulled out the Shiny Carrot. The room soon had an orange glow to it, and Nabooru widened her eyes.

 

“That is a funky carrot,” said Nabooru, looking at the Shiny Carrot strangely.

 

“Indeed. But we need it to be bigger to help defeat the llamas.”

 

“OK! Hold on just a minute . . .” she then reached into her desk drawer and rummaged through some stuff. After about a minute, she came upon what she was looking for!

 

“This is called the Growing Device!”

 

“Ooh, what a unique name,” said Navi, sarcastically.

 

Nabooru pulled out a small metal machine of sorts with weird rods. Go on, make up a machine!

 

“Let me see your carrot, please.”

 

Zelda handed over the carrot to Nabooru, and Nabooru put the carrot inside the machine. She then pressed a button, and then, a mass explosion took place.

 

Or the sound of a mass explosion took place. Same thing.

 

There was a bright flash, and soon the carrot grew to what seemed like 6 feet! The room glowed a much more brilliant orange.

 

“Problem solved!” said Nabooru, placing the carrot in front of Zelda. “Now go and defeat those llamas!”

 

“Great!” said Zelda. “Now we can finally show those llamas who's boss!”

 

“Yeah!” said Navi. Then, her face grew a puzzled look. “How do we get it to the castle?”

 

Zelda looked at Navi, Navi looked at Link, then Zelda looked at Link. Link looked at Zelda and Navi.

 

“What?” he asked.

 

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YAY! The three defenders of good have completed their task of getting the Shiny Carrot! Now all they have to do is get it to the castle, then go to Moscow, Russia! How will they accomplish such tasks? Find out in the next chapter of Llama Mamas!