Fan Fiction ❯ Merry Marriage Murderers ❯ weddings: 0 | funerals: 3 ( Chapter 1 )

[Gerudo Fortress, a little bit later]

Gerudo1: It's just a rumour. It has to be.

Gerudo2: We're kinda lost if it isn't.

Gerudo1: I'm sure that weird windmill guy made it up while he was high again.

Gerudo2: You're probably right. But just in case . . . . what about the Gorons?

Gerudo2: Neuter.

Gerudo3: Hey!! My daddy's a Goron!!

All: -_^

Gerudo3: I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!!! YOU'RE SO . . . . GAH!!!! [dies]

Voice: My wrath shall come to those who are not willing to find a spouse!! Farewell!

Gerudo1+2: IT'S TRUE!!!! IT'S TRUE!!!!!

Gerudo4: We . . . .we gotta leave!!! Maybe we'll find an unmarried Hylian . . . . or . . . . a Zora . . . OR EVEN A KOKIRI!! Hell, I don't care anymore!!!

Gerudo2: Let's hurry!!!! Or else . . . . . . AAAAAARRRGS!!!!! [dies]

Voice: My wrath shall come to those who are not willing to find a spouse!! Farewell!

Gerudo1+3: GASP!!!!

Ganondorf: Hello ladies, having a little chit-chat, do we?

Gerudos: PLEASE OH ALMIGHTY LORD DRAGMIRE - MARRY ME!!!!!

Ganondorf: o_O

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[same time, Hyrule Castle]

King of Hyrule: I will never allow such a thing!!

Zelda: DADDY!!! PLEASE!! I AM GOING TO DIE!!!

King of Hyrule: Zelda, my darling. It's nothing but a rumour.

Zelda: AND WHAT IF IT'S TRUE????

King of Hyrule: You are a strange girl, my dear. But I can not allow you to marry a beggar, just because you think that your life is in danger.

Zelda: He's not just a beggar!! He's my one and only true love!!

Beggar: Gnnaaarrrgghh!

Zelda: SHUT UP!!!

King of Hyrule: Zelda, please! Couldn't you at least try to behave like an adult???

Zelda: NOOOOO!!!!!!! Besides, I really really really love . . . . uh, what's your name again?

Beggar: Gnnnaaaarrrrgggghhh!!!

Zelda: -_-*

King of Hyrule: Zelda. Darling. I know that you are scared. But you can not give up our line of royal blood just because the windmill guy spread a rumour while he was high. Your husband has to be one of royal blood.

Zelda: Okay, daddy. Maybe you are right and . . . .

Beggar: REEEEENNNNGHHH!!!!! [dies]

Voice: My wrath shall come to those who are not willing to find a spouse!! Farewell!

King of Hyrule + Zelda: O___O

Zelda: GET ME A ROYAL HUSBAND!!!! IMMEDIATELY!!!!!

King of Hyrule: Oh darling, that is terrible!! We must save your life!!

Zelda: THAT'S WHAT I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU ALL THE TIME!!!!

King of Hyrule: Okay, okay. Let me think! Royal men are a very rare thing in Hyrule. There's only King Zora and . . . .

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[Gerudo Fortress, later]

Ganondorf: You want me to do WHAT???????

Zelda: You can have money, my Triforce, the Kingdom . . . heck, you can have everything!!!

Ganondorf: Gee . . . first my people and now it's you who's freaking out.

Zelda: I'M NOT FREAKING OUT!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! [runs around in circles]

Ganondorf: -.^

Zelda: OKAY!!! FINE!!! I'LL JUST GO AND MARRY KING ZORA!!! AND YOU WILL NEVER RULE HYRULE!!

Ganondorf: . . . . . . .

Zelda: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! [runs off]

Ganondorf: And they said that I was scary . . . . .

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More insanity! Yay! Still liked that? I'm happy if you do! Anyway . . . review! ^_^

Voice: And don't forget to find a spouse!! MWAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh yeah . . . sure.