Fan Fiction ❯ Merry Marriage Murderers ❯ weddings: 1 | funerals: 1 ( Chapter 2 )

[at Link's house, Link is asleep]

Link: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . . .

Navi: [flies in] LINK!!! WAKE UP!!!! WAKE UP!!!! HEY!!!!

Link: [wakes up] *yawn*

Navi: YOU GOTTA MARRY ME!!!!! NOW!!!!!!

Link: *yawn* Eh?

Navi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! [flies away]

Link: Uh . . . . Navi?

. . . . . . . . . .

Link: Strange . . . .

[he climbs down the ladder of his tree house]

Saria: YAHOO!!!

Link: GAH!! [skyrockets]

Saria: Oops . . . .

Link: [lands on the ground] Eugh . . . .

Saria: Howdy matey!

Link: Erm . . . . hi Saria.

Saria: You're my bestestest friend, aren't ya Linky?

Link: Uh . . . I guess?

Saria: Goody!!! Now let's get married!!

Link: What the . . . . .

Saria: YIPEEE!!! [grabs his hand and drags him to the Great Deku Tree]

[Deku Tree Meadow]

Great Deku Tree: Saria, my dear! I see you have found a victi . . . uh . . . . husband!

Saria: ^_^ *nods*

GDT: Very well. So let's get you married!!

Link: WAIT!!!!

Saria+GDT: What???

Link: I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!!!!

Saria: But . . . . but . . . . . I thought we were friends!!!

Link: That's it! We're JUST friends!!! Besides that . . . . what's the thing about this marriage mania? Earlier that morning Navi woke me up and . . . .

GDT: Why haven't you heard it??

Link: Heard what??

Saria: People all over Hyrule die!!!

Link: And how does this connect to the craziness about weddings???

Random Kokiri: Saria!! It's . . . . . . AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGS!!!!! [dies]

All: o_o

Voice: My wrath shall come to those who are not willing to find a spouse!! Farewell!

All: O_O

Saria: Does . . . this . . . answer . . . . your . . . . . question?

Link: Uh huh . . .

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[Zora's Domain]

Zelda: I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR WIFE!!!! SHE'S DEAD AND IT'S TIME TO FIND A SUBSTITUDE FOR HER!!!

King Zora: She was my one and only true love!!

Zelda: She was just a trout!! Get over her!!!!

King Zora: No.

Zelda: I DEMAND IT!!!!

King Zora: And I demand you to leave!!

Zelda: NOT UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO MARRY ME!!!

King Zora: Guards!!!

[a few Zora guards appear and drag Zelda outside]

Zelda: YOU WILL REGRET THIS!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

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[Deku Tree Meadow]

Link: I still don't know . . . . . . I think I'm too young to get married . . . . .

Saria: AND I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE SO HURRY UP!!!!

Link: I . . . . . gotta talk to Zelda first.

Saria: Link, no!!

Link: Byyyeee!! [runs off]

Saria: Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink!!!!!!

GDT: Heh . . . . problems of the mortals . . . . I'm glad to be a tree . . . . . .

Saria: [evil grin] And what a handsome tree you are!

GDT: O__O

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mido: And so I hereby pronounce you tree and wife!!

Saria: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

GDT: -__-***

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Wow! So many reviews! That's cool!!

Thanks and keep reading! ^__^

@ iceprincess: Ganondorf's last name is Dragmire. But I'm not sure if they mentioned it in the game or if it's just a mostly-known fact . . . . Gotta play OoT again somewhen . . . .

@ Steeple333: Uh . . . . okay, I . . . erm . . . . I hereby pronounce you reviewer and spoon-mouse-thingy!

@ Puni: CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!! AAAAAAAAARGS!!!!! [runs away]

@ all: Thanks for the reviews!! Queenie luves ya!! ^______^