Fan Fiction ❯ Merry Marriage Murderers ❯ weddings: 0 | funerals: 1 ( Chapter 3 )

[at Zora's Domain]

Ruto: She wanted to WHAT?????

King Zora: Don't get mad, my dear. She's just a freaky princess . . . .

Ruto: But if she wants to marry you then this means . . . . . (demonic grin)

King Zora: Ruto? Honey? What are you thinking?

Ruto: MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

King Zora: Remember . . . . the last time you went insane and wanted to take over the world . . .

Ruto: Daddy . . . . it's nothing like that . . . . just . . . . I'm . . . going for a walk in the forest!! [runs off]

. . . . . . . . .

King Zora: *sigh* When will she ever learn that Link hates her . . . . .

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[Ganon's Castle]

Ganondorf: OUT!!! OUT!!! OUT!!! YOU, YOU AND ESPECIALLY YOU!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[he closes the door to his room to get rid of several Gerudo guards]

Ravi: [flies through the window] Ganondorf!

Ganondorf: AH!!!! Oh . . . . thank Goddesses. It's only you. What do you want, annoying Link fairy??

Ravi: Say . . . . what do you think of relationships between fairies and male Gerudos?

Ganondorf: O____O

Ravi: . . . . . .

Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! !!!! [jumps out of the window and runs away]

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[LonLon Ranch]

Ingo: Let . . . . go . . . . off . . . . my . . . . FOOT!!!!!!

Malon: I just want to express how much I love you, my beloved husband!!

Ingo: I can't do my work if I have to drag you all around the farm!!!!

Malon: But man and wife should never separate!! Ooooh, I'm soooo happy to be married!!

Ingo: I WANT TO CONTIN . . . . . . AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGSSSS!!!! [dies]

Voice: My wrath shall come to those who are not willing to find a spouse! Farewell!!

Malon: But . . . . . but . . . . I was . . . . he was . . . . we were . . . . . . DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

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[somewhere in the dessert]

Gerudos: [running] WAIT!!! WAIT OH MIGHTY MALE UNMARRIED LORD DRAGMIRE!!!!!

Ganondorf: [running] Let me be!!!! Go away!!!!

Navi: [flying] We are destined for each other!!!! Can't you see????

Ganondorf: [running] MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!

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Short and thrilling!!! MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

PAIN! INSANITY! IT WILL NEVER END!!!