Fan Fiction ❯ Merry Marriage Murderers ❯ weddings: 2 | funerals: 0 ( Chapter 5 )

[Deku Tree Meadow]

Ruto: Wow . . . . that's freaky! And why did the Great Deku Tree die anyway?

Saria: We have no idea . . . .

Ruto: Well then . . . uhm . . . . hey, you!

Mido: Mido that is!

Ruto: Uh . . . . yeah. Wanna marry me?

Mido: *shrugs* Kay . . . .

[they walk away]

Saria: But . . . . . but . . . . . but . . . . . MIDO!!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Desert Colossus]

Ganondorf: Thank you so much!! I didn't know how to get rid of them!!

Twinrova: Well, no problem! They'll find another husband sooner or later.

Ganondorf: Thanks, mommy!

Twinrova: Erm . . . . about the mommy-thingy . . . .

Ganondorf: Yes mommy?

Twinrova: You know that I only raised you . . . .

Ganondorf: Yes mommy.

Twinrova: And that we are not related by blood . . . .

Ganondorf: Yes mommy.

Twinrova: Which means that we are actually allowed to marry . . . .

Ganondorf: Yes mo . . . . WHAT????

Twinrova: Come on Ganny!! Do it to save the life of your mommies! And your own!!

Ganondorf: Everywhere I go . . . . FREAKS!!!!!!! [runs away]

Twinrova: COME BACK, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BASTARD!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[somewhere]

Navi: [armed with a bow and some arrows] Ooooooh Ganondorf!! Come heeeeeeeereeeeeee!! There's something I want to give you!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Temple of Time]

Rauru: [sitting on a couch, in front of a TV] POPCORN!!!! COKE!!!! ICE CREAM!!!! HAM AND EGGS!!!! TOAST!!!! PASTA!!!! JUICE!!! SODA!!! BEER!!!! NOW!!!!!!!

Malon: [enters, carries loads of food and stuff] Coming . . . . right . . . . up . . .

Rauru: I never knew how convenient such a marriage can be.

Malon: mutter . . . . . curse . . . . mumble . . . . .

Rauru: HURRY UP!!!!

Malon: (annoyed) Yes, my beloved husband.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Hyrule Castle]

Impa: I'm sorry Link, but she left with her dad . . . just a minute ago.

Link: Oh damn. Where did they go???

Impa: Erm . . . . I . . . . . can't tell you . . . . but . . . . I'll show you the way!

Link: Uh . . . thanks . . . . I guess.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Hyrule Fields, somewhere near Kokiri Forest]

Ruto: So . . . . what was your name again?

Mido: Mido. And you are . . . .

Zelda: FISH FREAK!!!

Mido: Wow. Pretty strange name. Suits you though.

Zelda+Ruto: What are YOU doing HERE??? ME?? What are YOU doing here??? I was going to marry Mido!!! WHAT??? YOU??? BUT I . . . .

KoH: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

All: O_O

KoH: Uh . . . I mean . . . . ladies, please! Calm down! Now . . . . Princess of the Zora, me and my daughter came to marry Mido, because he's a royal pain in the ass and the only hope for Zelda to survive!

Ruto: Well, bad luck for her, cause he is MINE!

Zelda: Oh gee . . . . what did you smoke??? I thought you were after Link!!!

Ruto: Well, I . . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[somewhere in the desert]

Ganondorf: Women . . . . women everywhere . . . . *twitches* . . . . . must . . . . escape . . . . must . . . . .

Navi: [appears] HAHA!!!

Ganondorf: GAH!!!

Navi: I've got a nice present for you! [aims and . . . . TO BE CONTINUED]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Wooohooo! Thrilling! ^_^

Anyway, I'll just go . . . and . . . . uh . . . . I'm off!! ^^