Fan Fiction ❯ Mocking Mary ❯ Hobbit Sue ( Chapter 10 )

Disclaimer: Hey, lawyers. I've had a bad day. Bring it on.

Today's installment provided by: Alice-Elizabeth!

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Once upon a time there was a girl named Mary Sue. Now, Mary was not just any girl, she was the most perfect of all the perfectest girls in the universe. And she loved the Lord of the Rings because of all the cute guys in it, especially Legolas. Her goal in life was to become an Elf, which was a rather pathetic goal considering that being an Elf would not get her very far in life, and it isn't even possible to change you species outside of a fanfiction. (Un)fortunately for her, this *is* a fanfiction, written by an author with a bit of a sadistic streak. Anyway. One day, this Uber-perfect girl decided to actually read the books (Gasp! Shock!) because she had only seen the movies. Well, she barely gets to Bilbo's party before falling asleep, her mind unable to cope with the level of writing.

When Mary Sue woke up she got the shock of her life. She was in Middle Earth! She slowly sat up, looking around in shock. When her mind finally registered what had happened, she squealed with delight. Maybe...could she have become...and Elf!? Her hands trembled as she slowly raised them to feel the delicately pointed ears. But...something was wrong. Her ears were pointed alright, but they were so big. And her hair certainly hadn't been this curly before...it had been long, straight and golden as the sun. Her breath caught in horror and she slowly looked down, dreading the worst. Her feet were large and hairy. No. This couldn't be happening. She was supposed to be an Elf! She was supposed to be gorgeous! Gorgeous and big, hairy feet just did not go together. Tears sprang to her beautiful violet-green eyes, and she bit her lip, almost hyperventilating. This was all wrong! She heard a footstep behind her and spun, surprising the odd little man behind her. He had large, hairy feet and curly hair, just like she now did.

"Hello, what's a lovely Hobbit lass like yourself doing out here all alone?"

Her worst fears confirmed, Mary promptly fainted. Unfortunately she fell right on a pitchfork, which went straight through her heart (she has a heart?) killing her instantly. Told you I'm sadistic.

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Ehh....I don't have anything to say. My day sucked, and I don't feel like being witty. Please review, it'll make me feel better. A happy Queen is a writing Queen.

LP: You're pathetic.

Would you like to write my paper on `O'? Or my revisions for Comp? Or....

LP: Yikes, I get the point! Yeesh.

Sorry, I'm in a whiny mood. I found out that I have to rewrite my Art History paper, on top of everything else. So, if you don't get an update, you know why. Now I have to get back to that paper on `O.' Keep the ideas coming! Please!

Next Time: Lady Laswen!