Fan Fiction ❯ Mocking Mary ❯ Hamster Sue ( Chapter 12 )

Disclaimer: La de da de da de da de daaaaaaaaa, la de daaaaaa, la de daaaaaaaaa . . .

LP: She's lost it. Completely. I don't know how she managed to write this coherently.

*giggle* Yup!!

LP: I don't know why you're in such a good mood after that test . . .

. . . Good mood gone. >_<

Today's insanity courtesy of: Laureline!

*******************************************************

Once there was a girl. And this girl was a Lord of the Rings fan. The movies of course, who would actually read books that long? It would take time away from brushing her long, beautiful, perfect, golden hair. One day this perfect girl sat looking at her computer and got a wonderful idea. She would write a story about Lord of the Rings, and put herself in as another member of the Fellowship! She eagerly started to typing, describing her character. A beautiful girl who was part human, part Elf, part mermaid, and part - she heard a squeak from behind her - and part hamster. She grinned at her pet before continuing. After a moment's thought, she started describing the girl's pet. A . . . unicorn. A winged unicorn. That was pink and fluffy. And named . . . Starbright. Perfect! She typed feverishly until her computer screen flashed, surprising her. It suddenly felt like all the air in the room was being sucked into the computer screen, taking her with it. She was sucked into the screen of the computer, and everything went blue. She was vaguely surprised that everything didn't go *black,* but when she looked up she understood. Above her in giant letters was typed: "A fatal exception has occurred . . ." Then she did black out.

When she woke up, she didn't recognize her surroundings. There were no large trees like this near her house, these were enormous! She slowly stood and looked around, wondering where on earth she could be. A nudge at her shoulder surprised her and she jumped, spinning to see what had touched her. She was shocked to see a pink, fluffy winged unicorn. Starbright! Just like in her story! That must mean . . . She was in Middle Earth! She squealed with joy and jumped on the back of Starbright, magically knowing how to ride even though she had never even been on a horse before, and the unicorn had no saddle. She laughed. "Come on, Starbright! Let's find the Council of Elrond and join the Fellowship!!" Starbright dashed off, somehow knowing the right direction to Imladris. The girl, however, forgot to hold on and nearly fell off the back of the unicorn.

Sooner then they should have, because when girls randomly appear in Middle Earth distances inexplicably shrink, they arrived in Rivendell, just in time to crash the forming of the Fellowship. She ran into the Council hard on the heels of Merry and Pippin, who had just declared their intent to go on this ". . . mission. Quest. Thing!" She ran before Lord Elrond.

"I want to go on the quest too!" There was a long moment of silence before she realized that everyone was staring at her. And not in a good way, either. She looked at them nervously. ". . . What? What is it?"

Lord Elrond was the first to speak. "What manner of creature are you?"

She began quite matter-of-factly. "Well, I'm part human, and part Elf, and part mermaid . . ." Suddenly she became aware that he was very tall. Far taller, in fact, than he should have been. She looked anxiously at the others present and gasped. The Hobbits were taller than she was! That couldn't be right! Her hand went to her mouth in shock, and felt something . . . prickly. Almost like . . . whiskers. Suddenly she remembered the last moment addition to the description of her character. "Oh no . . ."

Sure enough, the decision to make herself part hamster had adversely effected her looks. She was barely two feet tall and had long whiskers. "No . . ."

Elrond looked at Legolas and motioned to his bow. Legolas nodded and raised his bow and aimed an arrow at her heart. She was too busy going into hysterics to notice. He let the arrow fly, piercing her through the heart and dropping her instantly. The Council continued and ended without further incident.

*****************************************************