Fan Fiction ❯ Pixie Sticks are A Dangerous Plaything! ❯ To Kill A Mockingbird ( Chapter 2 )

To Kill A Mocking Bird. Or Something… I Think?

 

 

Book Opening

 

Scout: When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow.

Jem: Hold on! ONE sentence into this book, one, and I'm already getting my arm broken! Surely Mrs. Lee can foreshadow something better for my future than that!

Scout: `Fraid not. (Opens a copy of the book) It doesn't get any better from here! You get your pants ripped, you get hit by Atticus, you watch Mrs. Maudie's house burn down, you get attacked by a mysterious man, and… (gasps) Oh my lord!

Jem: What is it!

Scout: Halfway through the book you turn into a pretentious, know-it-all, philosophizing, newspaper reading, arrogant jerk!

Jem: Aw, horse feathers!

(End Scene)

 

Rabid Dog Scene

 

Calpurnia: Mr. Finch, Mr. Tate! Mad dog comin', mad dog comin'!

Atticus: Where is he Cal?

Calpurnia: He ought to be here by now.

Tate: Where do you think he's going?

Atticus: Not the Nathan yard. Fence'll probably stop him. He'll probably follow the road…

(Tim Johnson: the dog enters slobbering and barking. Proceeds to crawl slowly to the rest of the cast)

Tate: (Begins to take aim with his rifle, then lowers it and hands it to Atticus) Take him, Mr. Finch.

Atticus: No, you take him! (hands the rifle back to Tate)

Tate: You take him! (Shoves the rifle into Atticus's hands)

Atticus: No, You-

Calpurnia: Oh for the love of! (She grabs the rifle, and brings the sight to bear on Tim Johnson. She fires once; The dog drops dead) Now was that really so hard? Humph, Men!

 

Rabid Dog Take 2

 

(Atticus aims the gun at Tim Johnson: the dog, and begains to pull the trigger. All of a sudden Tim Johnson: the boy runs out onto the street.)

Atticus: Is that little Tim Johnson? (He moves his aim from Tim Johnson to Tim Johnson and pulls the trigger. Tim Johnson: the boy falls dead.) (The rest of the cast looks on horrified) (Atticus calmly walks back to Tate and hands him the rifle)

Calpurnia: Why in the world did you shoot that boy Mr. Finch!

Atticus: The little punk owed me 3 bucks.

 

Court Room

 

Atticus: The girl's bruises were caused by a left handed man, Tom's left hand is injured to where he can't even use it, much less beat any one with it.

Mr. Ewell: That's a very good point Mr. Finch, but you have to remember that…(In a Salem Witch Trial style accusation) HE'S A BLACK MAN!

Jury: (murmers thoughtfully)

Atticus: What does that have to do with anything? The defendant has given spoken testimony that you threateningly yelled at the girl.

Mr. Ewell: Yes but, HE`S BLACK! (Sheeplike droning) Bbbblllack is baaaad! Baaaad!

Jury: (questioning) Baaaaad?

Jury: (Jury deliberates amongst themselves for a moment, before nodding in agreement.) Baaaad! We rule in favor of Mr. Ewell. The defendant is guilty on all counts. (Each member reads out guilty vote in the same sheep voice.)

Atticus: Now wait just a minute-(is interrupted)

Judge: Mr. Robinson is sentenced to death. Next case! Mr. Cunningham's crotch v. Really, really hot cup of McDonalds Coffee.

Mr. Cunning ham: It burns your honor, it burns so much! (Begins sobbing)