Fan Fiction ❯ Shatters of a Heart ❯ Part 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Shatters of a Heart

~By Lovely-chan~

As he read the words in my letter I received my mothers ashes, only two days ago my soul was torn in half, now the only half left was gone too. I was empty, completely empty inside. No love, no company, only silence. My heart was shattered in billion pieces not knowing what step to take next, so I decided to live to survive till the day came and I could meet my love again.

While he was gone I worked out a lot, and eat nutritious meals just like he taught me; I wanted to look good when he returned. I took off all the jewels decorating my body from my face, my tongue, my nipples and my ears. Only the one we both shared was left. I was ready to close my rock star page, so I removed the blue and purple highlights from my hair dyeing it to black again. I though I looked good, I was also told by the few friends I had on my job and the customers.

I waited and waited nights and days, looking at my window every single minute while I was home. I wished to see his outstanding silhouette standing on my door, but only tricks from my mind were there.

I kept his old house as a shrine to my angel face, a treasure full of memories of my beloved friend. No one claimed the house or bought it, so I keep it clean waiting for his return. Everything was left in the same place he left it with the only difference of a calendar I had on the wall counting the days for his return

Two years passed since the day he left. I was at Kouin's home doing my weekly clean up. It was already late, and the light through the windows had faded. I turned on a flashlight when a noise came out of my beloved's room. At first I though it was Kai, but then doubt it since she didn't want to talk or even remember him. I walked quietly to the room and opened the door to discover the intruder, to my surprise no one was there. I though for a moment, then guessed he must be hidden in the darkness of the room, so I searched with the light still finding nothing. "Who's there?" I waited for a reply but no voice was heard- only a shadow moved from a corner.

As I turned to discover who was the owner of this shadow, the sound of a familiar voice made me drop the light with astonishment. "Yutaka, is that you?" Yes, that was the voice I was yearning to hear for so long, a bit darker but fresh as the breeze of the mountains. I was frozen for a moment, then the shock caused by the figure before me was starting to lose effect. My stomach wallowed and an intense heat ran through my body; I felt my cheeks warm up with only his heavenly sight, so I stared like a fool amazed with the view. Was this another dream? Is it another bad trick from my mind? I asked myself a hundred questions in less than a blink, but there he was a glorious angel from the heavens above glowing in the darkness like a holy apparition. His slender, yet built complexion, was unforgettable; no one else had such grace within him.
My spell was broken with his heavenly smile, wakening me from one to another spell of love. The perfect whiteness of his pearls made me smile right away. It's him! It's really him! I repeated in my mind, my angel had returned just like he promised. "Kouin!" I said in a cry with a mixture of anguish and joy filling my heart. I ran to his arms while my tears were carried away by the sudden impulse. He opened his arms cuddling me tightly as we cried. "I missed you…I missed you so." I nuzzled on his neck and whimpered like a child, the feeling of his arms around me swirled all the feelings I had kept inside for all the time he was gone. "It is you…it's really you!" His strong arms tighten igniting a heavy storm in my heart. My head felt heavy and my body quivered, everything seemed to be far away, leaving the two of us floating in a vacuous space.

"Yutaka…it was you all this time." I didn't pay much attention to his words. All I cared for was his presence. I wanted the world to stop turning, forcing the time to stop as well. He was all of whom I cared, all I could sense, and all I could feel. "What did you do to yourself? You look so good!" With only the few fractions of a minute he glanced at me, he noticed the change in my appearance. For me it was unbelievable, yet I loved his flattery. "Are you really you?" I laughed at those words but didn't reply, I just smelled the hair falling on his shoulders awakening the old memories back to life again. "But let me get a good look at yourself." So I finally let go of the embrace and both stared at each other looking for changes. "You gained some weight too…you must have lots of admirers, huh?" He mocked with a wink and a devilish smile.
"Get real! Don't lie anymore." I wanted to make sure he really though so, so I tested him.
"I never lie…at least I try." He smiled again. "No earrings?! Let me see your tongue." I opened my mouth and stick out my tongue so he could see the jewel was gone. "That's a shock! What do they do to my best friend anyway?" He examined my face touching me softly provoking chills to my sensible skin. "They are all gone! But you look great, I must say." He bit his lower lip while staring and caressing my hair and I got confused about it- he seemed to be flirting with me, but I took it off my mind. I must have been confused with the thrill of the moment.
"Thanks." I blushed, but the obscurity of the room made me the favor and hid it. "Now you have jewels on your face!" I pointed at some weird jewelry he had on his forehead; a green triangle in the middle with one golden circle at each side.
"Those are not jewels…they are…like a medal, but spiritual…it shows my level of consciousness…but let's forget about that. How is everything? Naoki…Yumi…everyone." I let him know all that'd been going on while he was away, but he didn't ask me about her. He also showed me his young child on a hologram and he was beautiful just like his father.

"So you came back…" I was still so shocked-I'd always said the stupidest things.
"I always keep my promises." He looked at the wall he had been staring for a while and asked: "What is that calendar? Is it yours?"
"It's the counting for your return!" I took a pen and drew a heart on the present day. "It means you are back!" I looked at his perfect profile, and his beauty made me take a deep stare from head to toes. "You are still so handsome." I know I said that in the wrong tone of voice I should use with him, but it came from my heart.
"Yutaka!" I sensed his embarrassment so I changed the subject to the one he was trying to avoid.
"Did you see her?" I looked to his face to see his reaction, but to my surprise he looked calmed.
"No. Is she ok?" But even when he tried to hide it from the outside, I still could feel the interest on his voice.
"She's fine. You should go see her now; she's home." Kai Ling lived just next door, so I was aware of her movements. He decided to interrogate me before visiting her, and even when I tryed to hide things he managed to take them out. "I'm sorry if you are displeased, but I believe she still cares for you, even if she tries to hide it. Go see her, maybe there is still time for you two." I only wanted his complete happiness, even if bitterness takes over me so I tried to cheer him up.
"Thank you. I will." He stayed quiet looking at nothing for a few seconds, then looked at me again. "Why, you waited for me? I though you may have moved or hit it to the charts." I know the only thing he wanted to asked was if I still loved him, but I played along.
"No…I decided to wait for you and not reach the stars."
Then he decided to ask straight. "Do you still…"
"Yes, I still love you. I say it once and I'll say it again, my heart will always be with you." I was looking straight to his eyes and then silence surrounded us after my words for brief moments.
"But why don't you follow your dreams?"
"You are wrong Kouin. I followed my greatest dream…seeing you again is all I ever cared for. So I gave up being a rock star, instead, I am a songwriter...I make a good profit out of it. I also still work at the spa, I like it there, so I have no regrets."
His face looked a little tense or worried…I didn't get it clear, but he was thoughtful. "Yutaka…you have a beautiful heart. Sometimes I wish I had chosen you instead of her, but my life wouldn't be the same if I had. You understand?"
I wasn't sure what he really meant between those words, did he actually love me? "I do…your entire planet was not a thing to gamble on."
"I always loved another but…you are dearest to me as well. You are very special in my heart." So that was it…he loved us both, at least that's what I thought.
"Kouin!" I slumped to his arms and burst into tears, that was the closest thing to love he had said to me so I was stirring with emotion. "For me that's enough, it means a lot to me you do appreciate my love for you."
"I do." He slightly touched my hair and we held quietly, only my sobs break the silence of the darkened room. We lay close in his bed rubbing our cheeks together, he was waiting for me to calm down and after I did he left to see his angel and I hoped for this time to be his lucky day.

I heard nothing from him for the rest of the night; I was restless and anxious to know what happened, but as the night hours passed, my tiredness won over me guiding me to sleep.

A sweet whisper woke me up the next morning, a sound like the morning birds singing. I opened my eyes and found the intruder bird staring at me with the sweetest smile. "Wake up, sleeping beauty, breakfast's ready." I replied with an excited smile since I'd never expected to woke up with the holy bless of his sea blue eyes twinkling, and a smile from the gods. I sat up and he gave me a tray with my meal then he sat beside me. It was so long since I last taste one of his awesome dishes that I was getting very excited to finally do it.
"Smells good." I looked at the plate and saw my favorite breakfast waiting for me to devour it. "You remembered!"
"Of course I remember, do you know how many times I cooked those eggs for you?" He got a little closer to me and laid his head on my shoulder enjoying the reaction for my pleased palate with a cute smile. "What are you doing today?" He obviously wanted to spend some time, and I wanted so bad to be by his side, that I could care less about the job.
"Nothing, what have you planned?"
"Would you like to visit an old friend of ours?"
"Naoki! Yeah, I want to see him too. He was great with me when mother died."
"So dress up, we don't have all day!" He seemed happy that morning, does it means Kai will go with him or was it another of his covers? I stopped questioning myself and got ready for the trip, not every day I get to fly on a space ship. So we headed to LA to visit his other best friend Naoki and he was also amazed to see his dear friend Kouin again.

We had the best day we ever had in years, just like nothing ever changed. At the end of the day we took a picture with the three of us together again and each keep a copy like the greatest treasure. Kouin say goodbye to Naoki both moved by the moment, this time it was forever.
Sometimes back then I felt jealousy over Naoki because he was also Kouin's best friend; both had went to the same school, not like the poor little me who didn't even had enough money to buy a candy bar. But the relationship with him was different, even when they were the best of friends there was something else between Kouin and I. Maybe it was only me who liked to think so, but I knew deep inside I was right. Only with me he was able to cry and be scared to stop being the strong man he always tried to be. I always knew his confidence in my care was beyond limits.

Back in my home he sat by the bed looking at my stuff with amusement. He was so very special with me all the time, I could almost feel he did love me back, but a shadow of pain was drawn on his face while he tried to make fun of the collection of earrings I had in a box. I knew it was because of her; he didn't mention her in our trip and Naoki wouldn't dare to mention her name since he was aware of her new love affair. But now we were alone and he turned back to himself letting me see through his broken heart. He was sad and disappointed, but I was there by his side willing to console him. "Yutaka…I'm leaving tomorrow, so this is goodbye." He was leaning close to me needing to feel some kind of affection so I touched his sad face and he stayed quiet for a moment feeling the warmth of my hand on his cheek. "I have nothing else to do on Earth."

He started walking around the room and looking at my CDs and a portable CD player of mine apparently remembering something. "Can you give me a Walkman or something? I wasn't able to listen to the tape you gave me."
"So you didn't listen to my songs for you? Well, I got them ready with a few others." I showed him two CDs while I smiled and winked him an eye. "Better quality."
"Good! Now I can also take some of my own CDs." He smiled but the shadow was still there, so I asked.
"Is Kai going with you?" For the first time I saw his face turn pale since he wasn't expecting for me to ask him directly, but my curiosity was too much.
"No…I guess time heals people's heart when they don't really love."
"I'm sorry, you deserved better than that…after all you did for her…but what about your son? Didn't she care?"
"She never asked me about him, so I guess she doesn't care for him, and if she doesn't, then I don't care for her either." His eyes glittered with a tear and his face turned even sadder. "You were the only one who believed in me, that was so special…at least someone appreciate me after all."
"Kouin…I could wait forever for you."
"Forever is a long time."
"It is not, if it's for you." A soft smile was drawn on his lips, so I interrupted his thoughts with a question of my own. "Kouin…can I go with you?"
He was shocked with my question. He looked like he just saw a ghost, then he lowered his head sadly. "I don't know. I don't think I can take people from Earth to my planet…I know Kai is, but she was also an angel…even if it doesn't seem like she is." He got lost in his thoughts for a while before giving me any real answer. "I'll think about it." He never really answered my question, leaving me anxious for a yes and praying he won't say no.