Fan Fiction ❯ Standing Outside the Fire ❯ Not a Pretty Girl ( Chapter 3 )

Standing Outside

The Fire:

Not a Pretty Girl

I am not a pretty girl

That is not what I do

I ain't no damsel in distress

And I don't need to be rescued

So put me down conquered

Wouldn't you prefer a maiden fair

I am no an angry girl

But its seems like I've got everyone fooled

Every time I say something they find hard to hear

They chalk it up to my anger and never to their own fear

Imagine your a girl

Just trying to finally come clean

Knowing full well

They prefer you were dirty

And smiling

And I am sorry I am not maiden fair

I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

Andrew paused just around the corner from Lyn's hospital room, taking a deep breath. He had stopped at Lyn's apartment and had gotten the key from the landlord and acquired Lyn some clothing, folding them carefully and placing them in the backpack now strapped to his back.

He was nervous. He knew Lyn still wasn't well, not physically, not mentally or emotionally. But there was nothing he could do to keep Lyn here, nothing Lyn would let him do personally to help. This wasn't going to be pretty. Taking another deep breath he rounded the corner into Lyn's room. Lyn was sitting, perched on the edge of his hospital bed. He worse nothing but the hospital gown he had been issued and a second one worn backwards to cover his assets, his bare feet dangling a little off the cold floor. His right wrist was lightly bandaged over the puncture wounds from the IV's. Judging by the general haze in his eyes he was still drugged. Andrew flashed him a tender smile.

"Hey how are you feeling?" Lyn looked up at him slowly, then shrugged. "I brought you some clothes... and shoes... and I also brought your shampoo and soap and stuff... so you could clean up with familiar stuff." Andrew shrugged off the pack and held it out to him. Lyn took it and shuffled off to the bathroom. Andrew looked around the room, trying to find something to do with himself. He gathered the few belongings Lyn had, the horse, a card from him, a card from the nursing staff... that was it. Andrew shifted from foot to foot... unsure what else to do.

"Will you be pushing Mr. Doren, Sir? Or would you like me to?" An orderly stood in the doorway with a wheelchair waiting expectantly.

"I can do it..."

"Great just return it to the front desk when you are done." The orderly pushed the chair into the corner before trotting off. It seemed like an eternity before the bathroom door opened and Lyn stepped out. Andrew offered him a smiled.

It had taken Andrew nearly twenty minutes to find clothes that he though Lyn would be comfortable in. His closet had been brimming with tight black jeans, tight leather pants, dress shirts in a variety of colors, many of them black, leather jackets, denim jackets, soft linen and silk shirts, turtlenecks, turtle neck sweaters... all brand names... His dresser hadn't been much better... tight tee shirts and tank tops mostly. Even Lyn's underwear and shoes were meant to be sexual and for looks over function. He owned a drawer full of string bikini and thong underwear. Andrew Tried to ignore all the sexy underwear digging towards the back hoping for boxers... trying to ignore the silk, and spandex as it slid against his fingers. He happened to know for a fact that Lyn was currently wearing a pair of black silk boxers. The man didn't even owned cotton boxers. Further digging in drawers he had managed to find a pair of faded beat up blue jeans, a white tee shirt of the Hanes variety, and a navy blue sweatshirt. It was the kind of thing Andrew wore every day and the only thing he could imagine anyone being comfortable in. Judging by the look on Lyn's face as he stepped out of the bathroom though, Lyn was not happy.

"Why didn't you just bring me a potato sack?"

"I wanted you to be comfortable. Burlap isn't comfortable."

"Because its not bad enough I look like hell already, you have to bring me clothes from the homeless shelter." Andrew raised his eyebrows.

"They are from your own closet Lyn." Andrew looked down at his own jeans, tee shirt and zip up hooded sweatshirt self-consciously. Lyn just shook his head.

Andrew swallowed and grabbed the wheelchair. "Ah well have a seat, your Royal Chariot awaits." Lyn gave him a look that would have made every apathetic teenager in the city jealous before sitting down in the wheel chair and placing his feet on the peddles. It took almost no effort to wheel Lyn from his room to the car, Lyn was so light it was only slightly harder then pushing the chair had it been empty. Lyn rode in the chair with a royal boredom standing up primly once at Andrews little blue Honda civic. He waited for Andrew to open the door for him then sat down and buckled himself in, never looking at Andrew. After running the chair back to the front desk he got in the drivers side starting the car as he turned to Lyn.

"You wanna get lunch? My treat?" Andrew offered, thinking maybe that he could get Lyn to eat if he could keep him under supervision.

"No." Lyn didn't bother giving excuses.

"Oh. Okay." Andrew pulled out and moved onto the street.

It was an agonizing drive. Complete and total silence. Lyn spoke not a word, and Andrew could force nothing out around the lump in his stomach, his racing pulse and sweating palms. Finally as Andrew pulled up in front of Lyn's building he found some words.

"Listen... Lyn, you need help. You're not okay. Let me help you. Come stay with me for a while, I won't take advantage of you or anything... I just want to be sure your okay."

"It's none of your damn business Andrew." Lyn said quietly grabbing the backpack at his feet as he opened the door.

"Not my business? I'm the one who gets to make your funeral arrangements when you finally manage to kill yourself and it's not my business. Bull shit."

"There's almost nothing to arrange. It's all in my will. Do us both a favor. Leave me the hell alone." Lyn got out of the car slamming the door behind him.

Andrews's blood froze in his veins... all in his will? A taxi behind Andrew honked impatiently and he was forced to drive on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He paced like a caged animal. Back and forth, Back and forth. He had almost worn a path in the carpeting. Lyn needed help. He had never felt a person radiate that much pain... so much emptiness. He had no doubt in his mind that left to his own devices Lyn would kill himself. Either piece by piece, starving himself day by day, taking on more and more violent lovers until biology killed him for himself... Or he would find whatever he needed in himself to slit his wrists, or hang himself, or jump off a tall building, or overdose on the sedatives that the hospital had sent him home with. He had Lyn figured for a wrist slitter. Traditional but dramatic... and more importantly, slow. Andrew violently shook the thought from his head. How could he get Lyn to open up, to get help to... just do something! Andrew growled in frustration pounding his fist into his hand. It was one in the morning... he had been pacing for three hours. No. He had to do something. He needed to isolate Lyn... give him nowhere to run... Andrew stopped mid stride eyes wide.

"HA!" All but running the three steps to his bedroom he grabbed his faithful backpack and shoved a few items of clothing into it, along with the book he was currently reading, adding a second for when he finished the first, and a few toiletries. Throwing the backpack on his back he set out extra food and water for his cats before pulling his shoes on at the door and dashing out into the night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He really did have a death wish. Andrew hadn't even though of what he would do if he got to Lyn's apartment and the door was locked... but it wasn't... What kind of person didn't lock their door in New Your City? Well... Lyn apparently. Andrew shook his head as he pushed it open slowly and slipped inside. He made his way to Lyn's bed turning on the bedside light.

Lyn lay like some sort of beautiful fallen angel, his brunette hair fanned out on the pillow and falling over his face, his narrow shoulders so smooth and creamy, lax lips all but begging to be kissed. Andrew sat down on the edge of the bed one big hand cupping Lyn's silky shoulder. His callused hand and blunt fingers felt on Lyn's shoulder as a Claymor must feel next a rapier; rough, clumsy... He shook Lyn gently.

"Wake up, come on, wake up baby." He hadn't even realized the endearment had slipped form his lips. Lyn rolled over and groaned. "Come on Lyn I know you're sleepy, but you need to wake up." Andrew cajoled softly as though he were waking a child. Finally Lyn's eyes opened and Andrew smiled to him tenderly, fingers gently stroking Lyn's shoulder. Lyn blinked his smooth brow furrowing in confusion.

"Drew? Wha-...?"

"Its okay Lyn, we're leaving, okay? I'm going to pack some clothes for you while you get dressed. Okay?" Lyn nodded sleepily, the drugs and exhaustion working against any other thoughts but obedience. Andrew went to the closet he had dug through earlier that day, picking out the few items that looked like they might be comfortable, handing Lyn a pair of flannel pajama bottoms to pull on as well as a tee-shirt and hooded sweatshirt. He was going to fall right back to sleep in the car, no reason for him to put on real clothes. Andrew grabbed the book on the bedside table and grabbed another at random tossing them into Lyn's backpack. "What else do you need, sugar?"

"My instruments." Lyn replied sleepily as he pulled on the clothing he had been handed. Andrew looked around more closely... instruments of all varieties hung from the walls between Lynn's copious amount of bookshelves...

"Ah... which ones?" Lyn looked around at his options.

"My guitar, my flute, my violin." He answered after a moment. Andrew grabbed the requested items slipping the flute in the backpack. Grabbing the quilt folded at the foot of the huge four-poster bed Andrew wrapped it around Lyn a couple times, making sure to protect him from the chilly spring air then picked up the violin and guitar case.

"All right come on." Andrew guided him out the door, locking it behind him, down the stairs and into the passenger seat of his car. Lyn sat down obligingly, curling up when Andrew lay the seat down for him. Carefully tucking the quilt all around him and a bunch under his head for a pillow, he strapped the seat belt around him before shutting the door and packing Lyn's few belongings into the trunk of his car. All that done he all but raced to the driver side hopping in and revving the engine to life, speeding out into the night. Headed west, heading away. Running from monsters that weren't his own.

Authors Note: All right I haven't been doing this for this fic, but I figured I needed to due to the lyrics. The song is by Ani Difranco... and yes it says 'girl'. I really think the gender is irrelevant. It is a song Lyn would identify with.