| "Standing Outside the Fire" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] |
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Title: when shall we get more?
Reviewed By: LadyAikyo [MediaMiner Member] On: July 17, 2006 23:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
I hhave been wondering when we will be able to read more about the lovely Andrew and Lyn?
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Title: Update
Reviewed By: evilkitten On: November 06, 2005 17:16 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please update
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Title: Update
Reviewed By: evilkitten On: October 29, 2005 20:17 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please update.
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Reviewed By: SakuraCC8705 On: February 14, 2005 11:23 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I was reading the Fake story you and Wildfyre wrote and I became curious as to what your style of writing was since I read a lot of Wildfyre's. I have to admit, it's really good. I did notice some errors in earlier chapters as well as this one, but overall I love the story and I hope that my review will encourage you to get the next chapter up ASAP. Once mistake I did notice stood out above all the others to me. You mentioned in this chapter how Drew noticed Lyn's mismatched eyes, but in the "Deep" chapter Drew had already noticed it about halfway through the chapter: "Maybe. You need help Lyn. Look at me." When Lyn didn't move Andrew gently cupped his chin turning his face until their eyes met. "Your eyes... they are not the same." Andrew's voice was hushed with surprise and pleasure. "What of it." Lyn jerked his face away. "Nothing, I just hadn't noticed. I thought you had blue eyes, you must wear contacts." "Usually." Silence wove itself around them for moment after endless moment. It was the flick of Lyn's lighter that brought Andrew's focus back to the moment. I can't wait till you update again! Hearing about Lyn and Drew's past gives me an insight to what they went through and relate it to the Fake story.
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Reviewed By: Ryuaku [MediaMiner Member] On: August 16, 2004 03:40 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wonderfully written. It's serious yet humour is thrown in as well. Keep up the good work and get out the next chapter.
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Reviewed By: BCat On: September 06, 2003 05:45 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoyed what you posted so far, sadly it looks like you put the story on hiatus. I hope you will pick it up again soon, I'd love to read more about Lyn and Andrew :-) |
Reviewed By: SaiyanTrombone [MediaMiner Member] On: July 26, 2003 23:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great stuff, really! I absolutely love the FAKE fic you and Wildefyre did with these two in it, and the backstory for them is proving to be just as good, if not, better! Keep it going, you've got me on the edge of my seat wanting more!
Oh, and the 8 for spelling/grammar was just because there were a few errors that made me re-read a sentence or two. And I'm an anal grammar Nazi, so don't take it to heart. |
Reviewed By: Jexia [MediaMiner Member] On: July 13, 2003 20:11 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was a beautiful chapter, full of tenderness and and the beginnings of understanding. That was some kiss!!!Interesting reaction from Andrew. I am curious about how the week will play out. I hope that Lyn can find his music. With the sound of the waves and the birds around, would it remind him of home, I wonder. Looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks, Irish. |
Reviewed By: Jexia [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2003 14:01 CDT
Comment/Review:
This chapter was a great mix of tension and tenderness with some exquisite writing thrown in for good measure. It's nice to see Lyn giving Andrew some reciprocity, however limited. Help with the leg cramps and financial assistance. I have to say, I am very eager to find out what happens next. Yes Lyn wakes up and the clock registers 11AM. Isn't that check out time? Are they staying another night? Is Andrew still spooned behind him? Ah, please update soon and assuage my relentless curiosity. |
Reviewed By: Jexia [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2003 13:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yeah, I wish he'd timed the irrigation too. You got me curious. Other than that, I love the insight that Andrew has about Lyn. I love the empathy he has that shows him exactly what he needs to do to get the results he wants...Lyn--eating. I like the way that Andrew holds Lyn, and touches him with such caring self-less tenderness. That was a beautiful passage. I like the way Lyn's curiosity about Andrew is unfolding. |
Reviewed By: Jexia [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2003 13:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
Wow--you show how far gone Lyn is in this chapter. I love how the image of the wild free spirit of the horse that Andrew coaxed from the chunk of wood makes Lyn smile in spite of himself.
I liked Andrews interaction with Fiona, the Jesus girl. You show him as open and accepting. Maybe he's wearing her down. Maybe he'll wear Lyn down the same way. Great angsty chapter. |
Reviewed By: Jexia [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2003 12:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
Interesting to see how close to the edge the demons that drive Lyn's behavior have brought him. Intriguing to discover that Lyn at some level considers Andrew as next of kin. That's quite a leap in attitude considering all they are on the surface is gym buddies. Either Lyn is falling for Andrew or he knows he needs help and senses that Andrew is someone who could give it without expecting anything in return. |
Reviewed By: Jexia [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2003 12:43 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
God, this is a great first chapter. It seems from the get-go that Lyn's a masochist straining against the weight about to come crashing down on him. But isn't that the story of his life? That the burden of living it has become too much to bear alone.
I wonder why Andrew has been celibate for the past two years. He does demonstrate remarkable control. Love how they meet, crotch to face...that was just too good!! |
Reviewed By: Wildefyre On: June 09, 2003 10:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
I love the latest chapter! You're doing a great job with this fic! Lyn and Drew have come to life and for me that's just so cool! You have really developed these two guys. Those of us who know them, know just what awesome and sweet guys they truly are! Not to mention two of hottest originals around!! Keep up the awesome work! *Drools over Lyn* ^_^ |
Reviewed By: Flash On: June 05, 2003 18:19 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is truly an porigional piece! Characterization is near perfect, each character taking on more human and realistic quality as each paragraph rolls by. Story is interesting and holds the attention! THis is great! Keep it up! |
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