Fan Fiction ❯ The Goddess Sagas ❯ I?m lost ( Chapter 48 )

Chapter Forty-seven: I'm lost

Three months later

Ruto stood outside of the shelter, staring up at Oisa, it was getting closer and closer everyday...it would not be that long before it consumed the planet, and they had no idea what to do. An power barrier had appeared around Capsule Corporation, the place now referred to as the Neo Goddess tower.

Mist and clouds still blanketed Angeles and Kamertion minded dolls continued walking the grounds, chanting Oisa's name. Though the sun was still hidden, the whole area was cast in orange hues, from the fire of Oisa. The only light they could see is the same one that would end up killing them.

Bra, Lena and Maria still worked together on a cure for those injected with Kamertion, when asked what the use of it was they would just reply, that they had to do something, even if it was pointless....they would all just die anyway.

And Ryan....he had fallen into a state of shock, Lena was able to fix up his body as to where it had been melted and damaged, but he refused to open his eyes.

Ruto choked back a sob as a wing blew past her sending her white cloak shifting around her once again slender body.

"Ryan....."

"Maya..."

Ruto jumped startled and turned around to see Lemon, she smiled. "Mally....It's you." his eyes looked down to look at the two babies he held in his arms. Lemon noticed where she was looking and smiled.

"They really can't stand being separated from each other....I always knew our kids would be best friends." Lemon smiled, trying to be cheerful.

Ruto reached and picked up one of the babies, holding it close to her.

"I want to defeat this evil....so they have a chance of their children being best friends as well..."

"Maya, there has to be some way..."

"Hmmm....if only Ryan would...." She bit her lip, feeling tears well up in her eyes again. She looked back down at the baby in her arms.

"Would you look at them? So innocent and happy....care free......they have no idea what is going on....before I would never admit it....but it's true, ignorance is bless."

"......Maya." Lemon put an arm around her, trying to comfort her. ".....I don't know how but, we will defeat this...and things will be ok again."

".......Mauls, what do you think our children will be like when they are older?" She asked, absent mindly.

"Oh? Well...." Lemon tried to smile, as he looked down at Pan. " I don't know...but I have `motherly' intuition that she's going to act more like her father then I."

"Like Squall?"

"Yup, only a talkative version...and maybe a little more hot headed...."

Ruto chuckled. "She'll be a interesting girl, all right. Hmm...I wonder how, my daughter is going to act like..."

Lemon looked down at the other sleeping baby and smiled, she had short two toned colored hair, the back of it brown like Ruto's hair and the front of it was golden like Ryan's hair. Her skin was the same as Ruto's, the color of a peach. She had been born with pointy ears, fangs and a tail like Ryan, but also with two mini and very small pink angel wings. When she opened her eyes, they could see Ruto's same ocean blue eyes looking back at them, twinkling with innocence and life. "She has a cute expression, and a very free-spirited aura about her...." Lemon smirked. "And if she takes after you in personality, will be prone to temper tantrums."

"Hey! What do you mean by that!?"

" `Oh, daddy! I want that outfit! Not that what! I want it or else....Explosion!' " Lemon mimicked, and got nudged in the side by the girl.

"Not funny." She said, but was fighting off a smile. "But your right...I shouldn't learn her that spell...."

The two of them began to giggle, not feeling the urge to do so in such a long time. Their laughing woke the babies up. The two infants almost exchanged looks of annoyance, and Pan reached up and pulled Lemon's hair, causing the boy to yelp.

"Ow...Ow...Ow...Panny, let go...!"

"Nawww!" The baby sputtered, pulling harder.

Ruto shook her head, laughing. "Maybe you should cut you hair Lemon."

Rewarded by a look the said `are you kidding!?' she continued.

"Or at least tie it back."

"Maybe....I should....Pan, let go!" Lemon tried to sound angry. The baby looked at him, titling her head to the sides then believe or not stuck her thoung out at him and pulled harder.

"Wha---Hey, hey, hey!! She stuck her thounge out at me! Owwwwwww!!!"

Ruto was laughing, tears coming to her eyes, it felt just so good to laugh, and it was so hard now these days to even feel happy, so when times came to laugh she indulged.

"Maya, I will be right back! I need to unattached Pan from my hair...owww..."

Ruto shook her head, laughing dying down to a few chuckles as Lemon left, the baby still pulling down hard. She looked down at her own baby who giggled up at her happily. She smiled tenderly, running her hand threw the girl's thin bangs.

"Angel, you wont do that to your Mommy when you get older, right?"

"Heh...."

Ruto looked nerved, if she didn't know better....the baby seemed to be looking at her with an evil little grin.

"You are planning on pulling my hair someday, aren't you?"

"........"

Angel just continued to smile back at her.

"Well I'll take my own advice and cut it then. My little girl....if only Ryan could see you...."

***************************

Squall was laying lazily on a bed, lost in thought, when Lemon came into the room, muttering

"Ow, ow, ow, ow,ow, ow, ow!"

The man-beast glanced over at the door as Lemon came in holding their daughter Pan, whom was merciless yanking on his long strains of hair.

"Squall, help me out, or I think I might be forced to cut my hair! She has a grip!"

"Lemon, she's only a baby." Squall smiled amused. "She can't be holding on that tight."

"She is!"

The man-beast rolled his eyes and gently took Pan into his arms, and gave a small pull. The baby latched on tighter, causing Lemon to yelp. Squall looked thoughtful, and pulled harder, put still to no avail. He continued to pull, but Pan refused to let go.

"...OWWWWWWWW!!! Your going to rip my hair out!!" Lemon did not look amused. "Pan let go!!"

"Nawwww!!!"

"Now!"

"Nawww!!!"

"PLEASE!!"

"Nawwww!!"

"No sweets."

Pan stuck her thounge out, Lemon looked shocked. "She did it again!"

Squall laughed. "Pan, let go of mommy's hair."

The baby looked at him, smiled sweetly, and let go. Lemon stood there with his mouth open, while Squall held an laughing and giggling Pan.

"That's it! I know what kind of girl she'll be when she's older....a daddies girl....Pan.....that hurt....don't pull mommy's hair!"

Pan blew a raspberry at Lemon and turned back to her dad, snuggling her face in his jacket.

Squall smiled lopsided at Lemon trying hard not to laugh, at his fuming lover.

"It's not funny Squall..." Lemon pouted and turned to the mirror and began to comb his hair, before grabbing an elastic and started fixing it in a French braid.

Squall frowned setting on the bed, watching his lover. Lemon still took on the body of a thirteen year old, and his face and attitude had not changed, but as he looked at him was reminded that Lemon gave up his human side and his wings to save all of them. He saw that his skin had become paler, and he had to stay away from garlic and an kind of holy item, such as Ruto's whip and the many crucifixes Bra had, when confronted with some artificial sunlight Bra had tried to make, he had to back out of the testing room, and return with sun lotion and sun glasses, his feeding habits had also changed and now could feed normally instead of the special way he had to before.

"Lemon?"

"Yes, Squally?" Lemon smiled, grabbing some red ribbon and making a bow on the top and bottom of his braid.

"Does it feel any different?"

"Hmmm...?Oh. Yeah, a bit, but I still feel like myself...though I hate being a full vampire."

"You said before, that Lucifer had a claim over you, I hate to bring it up, but I was wondering, how he did."

Lemon sighed, setting down on a chair, facing Squall. "It's because of my father, Vald..."

".........."

"He was a very cruel and power hungry man, his wife died after she had two twin girls, and then he captured my mother whom was a servant in his castle...He raped her and had me...he hated me, because I was a half breed and because I was so girlie looking. He killed my mom when I was five and he would beat me lots...and...and...." Lemon's face twsited in a painful grimace, Squall's eyes grew wide knowing just what the boy was about to say, and could feel himself start to shake in rage. Lemon shook his head sadly before continueing. "Then one day, thirsty for power he made a deal with the devil himself, Lucifer, whom was loyal to Saiyoua. In return for the soul of his first born son, he would grant him great power. My father accepted....I found out and in anger I impaled him in the heart with his own scythe...The same scythe I carry today...I guess I think of it as some sort of keep sake of my home.

I was running from home ever sense that day ...then when I accidentally killed that girl and her dog, Lucifer found that the perfect time to take over my soul, for it was full of bitterness and sorrow and turn me into part devil...

That is why I fled before we entered Angeles...Lucifer was powerful...the deal he made with my father was still in existence...he could lay claim over me anytime he wanted....I did not want to kill anyone else I cared about like I was forced to kill Lou, so I ran....when Lucifer was killed, the claim vanished and I could change back to normal again, but I still had that horrible devil energy inside of me, which replaced the human part my being...I used all of that devil energy that day to enter into your minds and save you guys from your own dark oceans...I knew I would loose my human side in doing so...but I didn't mind...I just cared about saving you all."

"Lemon...How could your father....how could he do that too you!?" Squall clecnhed his fists, trembling in anger.

The vampire smiled weakly and sadly. "The past is the past....let's just forget about it...." he frowned. "I hope Ruto is all right, she seems so depressed."

".....I'm not sure if it's better if Ryan wakes up or not...he went crazy on us, it was him who gave the stone to Saiyoua."

"I still can't help but feel as though it's my fault. If I didn't kill Lou then, a clone would never have been created and this would never had happened...."

"And this Ryan would never have been, and who knows what his absents from this universe would have caused."

Lemon paused, and turned to look at Squall.

"You can't keep beating yourself up. As you said, the past is the past."

".........Yeah........"

*********************************************

"Colt, are you feeling better?" Carrie asked, walking into the room, carrying two glasses of water, and handed one to him. He reached up with his good arm, taking it.

"Yeah....a little...." He looked up and down at Carrie, studying her jean jumper and white shirt underneath, an blue bow done up in her hair on the side of her head.

The Fernandez smiled. "I found some really beautiful clothes in an old abandoned shop. How do I look?"

"Great....Carrie?"

"Yes?"

"Have you stopped fighting?"

"..........I don't know....it just seems, so useless now........what can we do?"

***********************************

Carrie was not the only one whom decided to make the most of things and steal some clothes. Rose put on an red, chinese styled dress with flower patterns over it, and a slit up the side, it fit tight and looked sexy, the way she liked her things to fit. She brushed her hair, but then put the brush down, turning to Maria, whom was looking through the stolen clothes, merrily looking for something to wear.

"Do you think we are cowrads? You know, just setting hear while Oisa is coming?"

"I don't know....." The Brief girl turned sorrowful. " I can't fight....I can't do anything....but pray...and pray I will....if there is anyone to pray to, that is..."

*******************************

"Lima, how are your new limbs?" Bra asked, still working on a cure.

The elf smiled, looking down at her new arm and leg. "It's great! It feels wonderful to move about so freely again."

"Sorry it took awhile, but it's hard to find cyborg replacements these days."

"That's all right...how's the cure coming along?"

"Maria's liquid helped alot, but we are still missing an huge component....I'm starting to believe I'll never find it..."

"Don't say that, I'm sure you will...."

"Yeah, but still, what would be the use.....? I guess, it's just that I can't stand just doing nothing...and I probably will still be working on this when Oisa crashes down on us all."

".................I guess it's better to do something, rather then nothing....at least we can say we died trying....."

**********************************

Mimi sat in her room, looking down at the shimmering Rose sword she held in her hands. Even after months she still missed him....Genki....this was a gift from him....though she hated fighting and weapons....she would never let this go.

"You know, Genki still cares about you." Aria, said as she came into the room.

"Aria? Can I ask you something?"

"..........?"

"What kind of relation are you to Genki? You seem to know him very well....and you talk about him as though he is still hear...."

"He is still hear!"

"!?"

" Sure his body is gone, but his soul still lives on. Your sword....he made it for you out of his own power, out of a piece of his own self....he really loves you."

Mimi blinked back tears. "If....if the rest of the group don't go to fight Saiyoua soon...I will go and fight myself....I just can't let Genki of died in vain. He gave me this sword to be able to fight and protect myself...and...I will."

**********************************

Parfait sat by her brother's bed side, holding his hand. He was stripped down only to the black pants Keith had dressed him in, his body was fixed up but scars all over him were still visible from where the liquid had eaten away at his flesh. His eyes were closed, closed, just like they had been for three months.

"Ryan, I knew all this time you weren't my real brother....I just did not want to accept it. You were always there for me, Ryan...and you. Both of you were always there, and though you may not be the same brother I had six years ago, for the six years you were with me...you acted like my brother....and as far as I am concerned you are my brother, you always will be Ryan." Tears rolled down Parfait's cheeks, hitting his skin, Lena watched her sadly from the slightly opened door.

************************************

Ruto still stood outside, staring up at Oisa. "I feel lost inside....I don't know what to do...or where to turn to. I always acted strong inside....I wanted to be strong, but I see now....that I need someone to turn to. Ryan, that someone is you, I love you so much....but how can I make you hear me? Ryan, we are all so lost.......We need you hear to guide us. Like how your sword guided us to the orbs, you were my path of light...and I need you back." Ruto looked down at Angel, who slept with ease in her arms. "And Angel needs a father to care about her and love her."

**********************************

Bra sat on her chair, leaning back, frowning in thought as a beep on her computer sounded and she clicked on the e-mail.

"What is this? Royal base army of Angelo? A rocket!? Are they crazy!?"

"What is it Bra?" Maria asked, walking into the room.

"Maria, read this!"

The girl leaned forwards, scanning the e-mail.

" Dear Angeles,

We the Royal base army of Angelo are going to try and destory this comet, coming towards us with an powerful rocket. We desire your advanced technology in destroying it. Machines are being shipped to us from all over the world and we wish for one of your scientists to accompany our men tomorrow and help build this rocket. It may be our last hope for survival."

"I doubt that a rocket can defeat the power of a god..." Bra shook her head. "But it is admirable that they are at least trying."

"Maybe...maybe a rocket might even work, I mean..." Maria looked hopefully. "Machines are our magic, maybe using our power we can beat it."

".............I want to stay hear and work on the cure....."

"You and Lena can work on it, I did all I can. I'll go tomorrow and try my best to make the rocket work...it's worth a try...I mean what do we have to loose?"

"Your right Maria....it'll be worth a try, but are you sure you want to go?"

"Yeah, sure, no problem, besides, I always wanted to go to Angelo, sure it wont be a very good vacation but...at least I will be further from Saiyoua...."

Bra smiled. "All right. I'll e-mail them back and inform them of your choice."

********************************

Ruto wondered into the house, and found herself approaching Ryan's bed, finding Parfait setting there, crying.

"Parfait, are you all right?' She asked concerned.

"......Ruto." The little demon-half turned towards her eyes shimmering with tears. "I don't know what to do, without my older brother, I am lost! Well he ever wake up?"

"....I....I don't know." Ruto shook her head. "But be strong Parfait....you look tired, go and try to rest...you've been crying almost all week, try and relax a little, you can't help him if you are to sad, he wouldn't want to see you cry. Why not you try and make friends with the others, I promise they will cheer you up, they are great people."

".........Ruto, watch over Ryan for me?"

"I will."

"Thank you." The little girl left, leaving Ruto to stare at Ryan's unmoving form, gently she petted his bangs back, as she held Angel in one arm.

"Ryan, our daughter is very beautiful. She has your smile, it makes me happy to see it. I wish you could see her, she is just so lovely....Ryan, Parfait is not the only one lost inside, I am too...we all are....we just don't know what to do, we need you hear with us."

"...................."

"Oh Ryan." A tear rolled down Ruto's cheek. "Can't you hear me?"

He is lost in the dark ocean of his mind....I don't think he can find away out of it.

Ruto turned around and smiled weakly at an glowing figure behind her, transparent and ghost like, but she was not afraid.

"I just wish Genki, that there was something I could do....I want to help him escape his darkness."

Genki's ghost frowned. If the pains and regrets of his past and himself can disappear then the dark ocean will too...The dark ocean is just the darker form of the life stream where the rotten souls went, those too weighed down by sin and guilt went to suffer eternally, abandoned by all, except for Oisa, whom watched over them, only to make them suffer more for their sins and guilt.

"Genki how come you and the other ghosts of our friends can talk only to me? Is it because I once was fused with the goddesses?"

........................................I can't.....tell you Ruto...'

"Hmm.....But thanks all of you for trying your best to support me....and thanks for making sure Angel did not die when I gave birth....I know the forces of the life stream helped me."

Genki smiled. Hey, we had to help our friend! Besides, Angel is a really beautiful little girl, and she has so much life, it would be a shame not to allow her to have a chance to live."

"I wish there was a way I could thank you all, Angel is really important to me..."

I don't know about the others, but I know what you can do for me. Tell Mimi that I'll always be there for her, right and tell her that....tell Mimi that before I died, I made a wish of the Goddess stone, tell her I wished for her cancer to go away, tell her that she wont die, that she wont have to worry about it, all right?

Ruto smiled. "Ok....Genki, is there anyway to travel into the dark ocean of Ryan's mind and help him?"

Yes, there is a way....but....It is very dangerous for you, you might end up getting trapped in the darkness of his sins."

"If there is a way then I don't give a damn if it's dangerous! I want to help him! How can I!?"

.....I can't do anything to transport you into his mind....but maybe Aria can. Tell her I said it was ok and she will listen to you.

"Thank you Genki! Thank you so much!"

No problem...Goodbye.

The ghost vanished leaving Ruto alone in the room, a new hope in her heart.

****************************************

Everything was dark as Ryan floated threw the dream, as though falling, but at a very slow speed in an endless pit, tears slid down through his closed eyes lids, the tears floating above him, as though he was the only thing being forced down by gravity.

` Where am I? Where Is everyone....? What is this place? The dark ocean? I knew it....I knew I could never escape from this place...I'm always hear...I'm always trapped hear....maybe I am dead....and I will be hear forever....forever alone, in this darkness, surrounded by this emptyness....what does it matter? I am dead....I am alone....maybe this place is my hell, my own personal hell. My subconscious made up to punish me... yeah,

that's right....ha. Ha,ha,ha...how pathetic I am, not even in death can I find peace....'

He continued to descend downwards...descend into the darkness, into the depth of the dark ocean.

` Yes...this must be hell.... but haven't I suffered enough in life....haven't I? Why must I even suffer in death as well? But then again....I'm not even real...you can't die if you wasn't alive to begin with."

He felt a cool feeling wash over him, as he began to become submerged in the oceans dark waters.

`.....Maybe this is what I deserve......maybe.....the darkness....it feels so comforting....I just want the waters to swallow me up.....I want the pain to end....I want it all to stop....What good is a broken doll anyway? I just want to sleep....I want to stay hear forever away from, it all, from everything....but where is hear? Is this the life stream? Is this hell? Or is this my own mind? Maybe it's all three...it doesn't matter....in simple terms.....I'm lost. I've always been lost...'