Fan Fiction ❯ The More Troublesome Quest For Sanity ❯ cut! cut!! CUT!!! ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: Queenie * Zelda + related characters * copyright = 0

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

[Termina, Great Bay, a few hours later]

Ganondorf: [lying in a deck chair] Ah, sanity at last. No more lunatics, just white sand, palm trees, the blue ocean and-

Voice: KOOLOO LIMPAH!!

Ganondorf: [skyrockets] YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!

SFX: SPLAT!!

Ganondorf: Ow! What the-

Tingle: Tingle, Tingle, Kooloo Limpah!

Ganondorf: Identify yourself, frightening one.

Tingle: Tingle, Tingle is my name, Kooloo Limpah!

Ganondorf: What do you want?

Tingle: I like your skin, are you a fairy?

Ganondorf: o_O!?

Tingle: I'm a fairy, Kooloo Limpah!

Ganondorf: A . . . fairy? You mean you're one of those magical, tiny, winged creatures?

Tingle: Limpah yes!

Ganondorf: Even though you actually don't have any wings, are almost as tall as a normal person, not to mention much bigger and-

Tingle: LIMPAH! It's the inner fairy that counts, kooloo!

Ganondorf: Inner . . . . fairy?

Tingle: Exactly, limpah!

Ganondorf: *mutter* Even if he doesn't look like one, he does at least share their lack of intelligence.

Tingle: Did you say anything? Kooloo Limpah?

Ganondorf: No, no, not at all. -pause- So what do you want, Mr. Inner Fairy?

Tingle: You look like a great adventurer! I want to sell you one of my ma-

Ganondorf: Stop right there! I'm not going to buy anything, especially not if it has anything to do with adventures, especiallier not from a pseudo-inner-fairy-spandex-guy!

Tingle: That's not nice, kooloo! It's not spandex, it's nylon, limpah.

Ganondorf: I wouldn't care if it was cashmere.

Dr. Frank: [appears] CASHMERE!!!

Tingle: LIMPAH! [faints]

Ganondorf: O_O Do . . do . . . doctor . . . uh . . . you . . ah . . . erm . . . doc . . . err . . .

Dr. Frank: Very right you are. It is I, Dr. Frank! Well, actually I'm not Dr. Frank - I'm his undead spirit, but I figure that's as close as you can get, so-

Ganondorf: But why . . . I mean how . . . I mean-

Dr. Frank: Let the flashback explain it!

~*~*~*~*~ FLASHBACK ~*~*~*~*~

Fairy of strange abilities: And from now on your zpirit zhall pozzezz the ztrange ability to appear whenever zomeone you knew in your life zayz `cazhmere'!

~*~*~*~*~ END FLASHBACK ~*~*~*~*~

Ganondorf: . . . . oh.

Dr. Frank: Now that's the actual reason why I'm here. But there's another thing.

Ganondorf: There is?

Dr. Frank: Indeed.

Ganondorf: I'm listening.

Dr. Frank: You haaaaaaaaaave to aveeeeeeengeeeeee my deeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaath!

Ganondorf: Hey, what's with the long vowel stuff??

Dr. Frank: *shrug* I figure that's how a spirit's supposed to talk, err taaaaaaaaaaaaalk.

Ganondorf: . . . stop it.

Dr. Frank: Ooooooookaaaaaaaay.

Ganondorf: -_-

Dr. Frank: Er, okay. Anyway, will you help me?

Ganondorf: How so? We already ate your cucco an-

Dr. Frank: YOU ATE MY BELOVED CUCCO????

Ganondorf: Beloved?? He was evil!!

Dr. Frank: He wasn't evil . . . *sniff* . . . he was just corrupted.

Ganondorf: He KILLED you!!

. . . . . . . . . .

Dr. Frank: Then again, maybe he was evil. But anyway, he's not my target.

Ganondorf: And who is your target?

Dr. Frank: It's . . . The Voice. [DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN DUN!!]

Ganondorf: WHAT????

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[somewhere mysterious]

Evoice: WHAT????

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Hyrule Castle, Hyrule]

Link: WHAT????

Sheik: You heard me.

Link: But I thought-

Sheik: That's what they all do. But I'm not Zelda. Nevertheless I'm coming with you to save her.

Link: Save her?? I didn't even know that-

Sheik: Ganondorf kidnapped her? Well, he did. Come on, our time is limited. We have to get her back. Her and . . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Great Bay, Termina]

Ganondorf: Link's Triforce? Why would I care about it??

Dr. Frank: Because it . . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Lorien, Middle Eearth]

Gandalf: . . . brings great power to the one who possesses it.

Boromir: How?? It's just a simple . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[London, England]

SFX: RING!!! RING RING!!!

Moneypenny: [picks up the phone] MI 6 headquarters, Moneypenny speaking. How may I . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Hyrule Castle, Hyrule]

Sheik: . . . help you. That's all I want to do.

Link: But Ganondorf is an evil man of great power. He's . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Great Bay, Termina]

Dr. Frank: . . . . dangerous.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[somewhere mysterious]

Evoice: SHIT!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Lorien, Middle Earth]

Boromir: Excellent.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[London, England]

Moneypenny: James!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Great Bay, Termina]

Ganondorf: I don't get it.

Dr. Frank: Look, I couldn't tell you before because Brutus - er, my cucco - killed me. But now I must inform you about . . . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Hyrule Castle, Hyrule]

Link: Nonsense!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[somewhere mysterious]

Evoice: SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Lorien, Middle Earth]

Elrond: . . . the fate of Middle Earth.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[London, England]

Moneypenny: My bra?????

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Great Bay, Termina]

Dr. Frank: The Voice is none other than . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Hyrule Castle, Hyrule]

Sheik: LINK!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Lorien, Middle Earth]

Legolas: . . . . Isildur's heir. And your king!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[London, England]

Moneypenny: YOUR WIFE???????????

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[somewhere mysterious]

Evoice: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGS!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Great Bay, Termina]

Ganondorf: God, that's horrible!!

Dr. Frank: Yeah, I know. So many cuts in one chapter can't be good.

Ganondorf: Huh??

Dr. Frank: Er, never mind. So what will you do?

Ganondorf: I don't know. But I know that I'm not willing to stand another quest.

Dr. Frank: What do you mean??

Ganondorf: I won't . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Hyrule Castle, Hyrule]

Sheik: . . . come with you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Lorien, Middle Earth]

Boromir: . . . use it!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[London, England]

Moneypenny: . . . . love you!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[somewhere mysterious]

Evoice: KILL THEM!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[a random disco, somewhere]

TheOminousWriterofDoom: *sing* Do a little dance! Make a little love! Get down tonight! Get down tonight!

TheOminousFangirlsofDoom: YAY!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Great Bay, Termina]

Dr. Frank: I see. Very well, it's your decision. But don't come back to me crying like a baby when she's there to kill you. Cause that's what she will do to get your Triforce!! And until then . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Hyrule Castle, Hyrule]

King of Hyrule: Good luck!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Lorien, Middle Earth]

Elrond: May the force be with you. *think* Wait . . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[somewhere mysterious]

Evoice: MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[London, England]

Moneypenny: SCREW YOU! [hangs up]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[a random disco]

TheOminousWriterofDoom+Fangirls: Galabazoooooooo!! [disappear]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Great Bay, Termina]

Tingle: Kooloo Limpah!!

Ganondorf: You're awake??

Tingle: Where is he? What did the scary man want, limpah?

Ganondorf: You wouldn't want to know.

Tingle: Oh. Tingle, Tingle.

Ganondorf: Say, the thing you wanted me to buy in the first place . . . it wasn't by any chance a hotel room, was it?

Tingle: No, no. Tingle sells maps! Limpah!

Ganondorf: Maps, huh?

Tingle: But Tingle knows a place to stay over night!

Ganondorf: You do?

Tingle: Just follow me, Kooloo Limpah!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Soon we shall know more about the secret identity of The Voice!! [DUN DUN DUUUUUN DUN!!]

Ganondorf knows it already, but what will he do about it?? We'll see in the next chapter!!

See. It's longer already. Just wait, there's still some creativity left in this old wreck of mine. Plus the beginning of the story, the actual plot I mean, isn't that interesting or funny at all. It'll get a lot better in later chapters. But until then . . . be patient! ^^