Fan Fiction ❯ The More Troublesome Quest For Sanity ❯ pearls and pearls ... and pearls ( Chapter 10 )

Disclaimer: I t'nod nwo eht dnegel fo adlez ro yna detaler sretcarahc!

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Narrator: Last time on TMTQFS:

Somebody: (appears from behind the palm tree) HUZZAH!!

Link: AH!!!! (skyrocket) But . . . but . . . but that's-

Narrator: Now on TMTQFS:

Link: THAT'S ME!!

Link(from the future): (pointing at Link from the past) EVIL GREEN DISWAHSER!! (hides behind the palm tree again)

Link(p) and King of Red Lions: oô

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[Alpha Red Island]

Legolas: Something ominous is going on . . .

TheOminousWriterofDoom: (appears) Tadaaaaaaaa!

GANONDORF(P): What the hell are you two doing here???

Legolas: Uhm . . .

TheOminousWriterofDoom: Erm . . .

Legolas+TheOminousWriterofDoom: Looking ominously sexy!!

All: --;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Legolas: (sigh) There is no appreciation for utter sexiness in this world . . . (disappears)

TheOminousWriterofDoom: True that, true that. (disappears)

Queenie: At least Legolas was right in one point.

Queen of Red Lions: Oh, he's terribly sexy indeed!!

Queenie: Er . . . I . . . was actually talking about the something ominous is going on' part.

Queen of Red Lions: Oh. Right.

[DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN DUN!!]

- silence -

GANONDORF(P): And now?

Queen of Red Lions: I guess something horrible is supposed to happen.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

GANONDORF(P): When?

Queenie: Any second now, any second.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Crickets: (chirp chirp)

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Ganondorf: (checks his watch) Erm-

Queenie: Sssssssh!

Ganondorf: (sigh)

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Ganondorf: (sits down)

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Queen of Red Lions: (yawn)

Queenie: (sits down)

. . . . . . . . . .

GANONDORF(P): (is almost asleep)

Director: Er, sorry guys! The casting for `something ominous' wasn't quite as successful as we expected it to be, so we still have to find a decent menace for you. But just wait here, the crew and I will try to fix something up as soon as possible!

GANONDORF(P): (fully awake) This story has a director???

Queenie: Don't look at me, I didn't know either.

Queen of Red Lions: And what are we supposed to do in the meantime?

Director: Why don't you just burst into a random song or something?

Queenie: (shrugs) I guess it's better than to do nothing at all.

SAC: (appears) G-G-G-GROOOOOOOVE TIME!!

Music: (starts to play)

Queenie:

Hey!

GANONDORF(P):

Hey!

Queen of Red Lions:

Hey!

All:

Say Hey with meeee!

Queenie:

The point is lost!

SAC:

Ooooohooooohoooooo!

Queenie:

It's nowhere to be found, what should I say?

SAC:

Don't say a word! Uuuhuuu!

Don't, Don't say a word!

GANONDORF(P):

This quest is a mess, I don't know what to do!

I'm not sure if it's right for meeeheeee!

SAC:

Don't know, better go home!

Queen of Red Lions:

I have been patient all day long but they-

SAC:

They-ey, uuuuhuuu, they-ey!

Queen of Red Lions:

They're driving me insaaaa-haaaaa-haaaa-haaaaa-hane!

All:

All right!

Better get it on!

It's a quest and it's trouble and it's random all day long!

SAC:

Oh yeah!

My sanity is lost!

There's no point, there's no reason but I'll pay the cost!

All:

All right!

Better get it on!

We are crazy, stupid, pointless but we're having fun!

Legolas: (appears)

I don't get it.

SAC:

NO! No, really not!

Legolas:

How can they ever live-

SAC:

Ever! Ever Live On! Live On! Ever Live On!

Legolas:

Ever live without me?

SAC:

Me and my beauuuhuuuty??

TheOminousWriterofDoom: (appears)

There is more than meets the eye,

eating onions makes me cry!

All: Erm . . .

TheOminousFangirlsofDoom: (appear)

All right!

Better get it on!

It's a quest and it's trouble and it's random all day long!

SAC:

Oh yeah!

My sanity is lost!

There's no point, there's no reason but I'll pay the cost!

All:

All right!

Better get it on!

We are crazy, stupid, pointless but we're having fun!

Queenie:

But we're having!

Queen of Red Lions:

Truly having!

Ganondorf:

Yes, we're having!

All:

Oh we're having fun!

Music: (stops)

SAC, Legolas, TheOminousWriterofDoom and Fangirls: (disappear)

. . . . . . . . . . . .

GANONDORF(P): And now?

Queenie: Well, we can still play cards or something . . .

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[Dragon Roost Island]

Link(p): What . . . what happened to me?

Link(f): (hiding behind an umbrella) Please don't kill the fruits!

King of Red Lions: Happened? Why, he seems perfectly normal for Link-standards.

Link(p): WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT???

King of Red Lions: Okay, okay, just kidding (cough)not(cough). I assume that someone or something has deeply disturbed him. We've met some time ago and I wonder how he could go from just plain stupid to completely insane.

Random Guy With Pink Clothes: (appears) I'M PINK!!! (disappears)

Link(f): AH!! (faints)

Link(p) and King of Red Lions: OO??????????????

King of Red Lions: Who the-

Director: Oh, that's Nestor.

King of Red Lions: And who are you???

Director: I'm the director.

Link(p): Since when does this story have a director??

Director: Sheesh, why do you always have to question everything????

Link(p) and King of Red Lions: (shrug)

Director: --

King of Red Lions: . . . . Nestor?

Director: Er, yes. He was one of the guys who applied for the role as `something ominous'. Needless to say that we didn't find a pink freak that threatening at all and so we didn't accept him. He couldn't deal with it and now he . . . actually I don't know what he's up to. But I guess the best thing is to ignore him.

Link(p): But . . . but . . . but if he seeks revenge and tries to kill us all???

Director: . . . . naaaah.

Nestor: (appears) I SEEK REVENGE AND I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!

All: OO

Nestor: Just kidding, I'm pink. (disappears)

All: 00

Director: See, everything's fine.

Link(p): (blank stare)

Director: Well then, I'm off to make out with Queenie's stunt double. Huzzah! (disappears)

King of Red Lions: . . . . . .

Link(p): I find this deeply disturbing . . .

Link(f): (conscious) And I found a penny!!! :D

King of Red Lions and Link(p): --;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

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[Alpha Red Island]

Queen of Red Lions: Shame you didn't bring any cards.

Queenie: Yeah, bad luck. G, your turn.

Ganondorf: I spy with my Gerudo eye . . . something blue.

Queenie: The sky?

Ganondorf: Nope.

Queen of Red Lions: The sea?

Ganondorf: Yup.

Queen of Red Lions: I spy with my wooden eye . . . something blue.

Ganondorf: The sea?

Queen of Red Lions: Nope.

Queenie: The sky?

Queen of Red Lions: Yup.

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[Dragon Roost Island]

Link(p): Oh my God, that's it!!

King of Red Lions: That's what? What's what??

Link(p): He's one of Ganondorf's victims?

Link(f): Pudding?

Link(p): Ganondorf stole his Triforce too!!

King of Red Lions: And that's why he's insane?

Link(p): Why, of course!

King of Red Lions: . . . oh. ((Heroes. They have an excuse for everything . . .))

Link(p): We have to find the Frying Pan of Sanity! [DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN DUN!!]

King of Red Lions: To whack him over the head and restore 80 percent of his sanity?

Link(p): Exactly. No, wait!! First we'd better find my Triforce of Courage! [DUN DUN DUUUUUUN DUN!!]

King of Red Lions: To restore your sanity completely and oppose the evil forces of Ganondorf?

Link(p): Exactly. No, wait!! First we'd better find the Three Pearls of the Goddesses! [DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN DUN!!]

King of Red Lions: To defeat Ganondorf and all his evilness and rescue Zelda AND retrieve both Triforces of Courage?

Link(p): Exactly.

King of Red Lions: Goo-

Link(p): No, wait!!

King of Red Lions: --;

Link(p): First we'd better find a coffee shop. [DUN DUN DUUUUU- what?????]

King of Red Lions: To . . . erm . . .

Link(p): To drink coffee. I'm thirsty.

King of Red Lions and Nathanael: --;;;;;

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[Alpha Red Island]

Queen of Red Lions: I spy with my wooden eye . . . something blue.

Ganondorf: The sky?

Queen of Red Lions: Nope.

Queenie: The sea?

Queen of Red Lions: Yup.

Queenie: I spy with my author eye- something pink!!

Ganondorf: The se- what???

Nestor: Hi, I'm pink!!

Queen of Red Lions: Er, hi?

Nestor: PINK! PINK! PINK! MWWAHHAHAHAHA! (disappears)

Ganondorf: Uhm . . . okay.

Director: No time to explain, that's Nestor, just ignore him.

Queenie: Er, yes. Hello to you too.

Director: Must act quickly, Queenie comes with me, Ganondorf and Queen of Red Lions have to sail away, danger will soon pop up, no time to loose, HURRY!!

Queen of Red Lions: But I don't have to sail. I'm a motorboat.

Director: Yeah, whatever.

Ganondorf: But I don't want to-

Director: I DON'T CARE!! OFF WITH YOU!!! (disappears)

Queen of Red Lions: Sheesh, stressed much?

Queenie: (rolls eyes) Businessmen. (disappears)

Ganondorf: Wait!!!! We-

Queen of Red Lions: Too late.

Ganondorf: Uhm, where exactly are we going again?

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[`The Golden Eagle' - coffee shop, Dragon Roost Island]

Waitress: Okay Sir, but I don't appreciate the idea of having a talking boat in my coffee shop.

King of Red Lions: I'm a customer, I can pay and that's all you need to care about. And now bring me a Double Frozen Latte.

Waitress: (shrugs) Whatever. (walks away)

Link(f): Uuuuuuh, pretty ceiling!

Link(p): --;

King of Red Lions: Link?

Link(f): SHMOOOOOOH???

King of Red Lions: Erm . . . the other one.

Link(f): SHMOOOOOH! (sniff)

Link(p) and King of Red Lions: --;;;;

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[deep, blue sea]

Queen of Red Lions: Hey, what's up? You look . . . uhm . . . greener than usual.

Ganondorf: Seasick. Ugh!! (throws up)

Queen of Red Lions: Whoa, watch it!! You almost hit my bow!

Ganondorf: . . . . . (leaning over the railing)

Queen of Red Lions: Okay sailorboy, listen up!

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[coffee shop]

King of Red Lions: There's something I need to tell you about the three pearls.

Link(p): And that is?

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[sea]

Queen of Red Lions: They're fake.

Ganondorf: Wha- (throws up)

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[coffee shop]

King of Red Lions: They're the key to the Temple of the Goddesses, but that's it. They're useless in our fight against Ganondorf.

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[sea]

Queen of Red Lions: -against Zelda.

Ganondorf: But how are we supposed to- (throws up)

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[coffee shop]

King of Red Lions: How we're supposed to fight him? Well, there are pearls.

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[sea]

Queen of Red Lions: Not the original Pearls of the Goddesses but three other pearls called-

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[coffee shop]

King of Red Lions: The Other Pearls.

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[sea]

Queen of Red Lions: The Other Other Pearls.

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[coffee shop]

Link(p): HUH???

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[sea]

Ganondorf: What???? (throws up)

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[coffee shop]

King of Red Lions: Let me explain: The Pearls were only created to distract people who know little about the ancient secrets of Hyrule. People who're not meant to wield any powerful weapons.

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[sea]

Queen of Red Lions: People who lack of knowledge and understanding. People who're not worthy to use anything that dangerous.

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[coffee shop]

King of Red Lions: So three other pearls were created. They were simply called The Other Pearls-

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[sea]

Queen of Red Lions: -The Other Other pearls because . . . . well, that's what they are. Of course there are also The Other Pearls-

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[coffee shop]

King of Red Lions: -The Other Other Pearls, but they're fake as well. Now, anyway. You have to find the three pearls! That's the only way to defeat Ganondorf!

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[sea]

Queen of Red Lions: -deafeat Zelda!

Ganondorf: (throws up)

Queen of Red Lions: I'll take this as a `Yay! Let's go and find the pearls!'

Ganondorf: . . . . .

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[coffee shop]

King of Red Lions: Oh, one more thing: Luckily The Other Pearls are always located somewhere near the normal pearls. In fact I think that you'll find the first pearls, The Other Pearl of Fire, right on this island.

Link(p): So what are we waiting for??

King of Red Lions: Uhm, the bill.

Waitress: (appears) Here you go! (gives them the bill and disappears)

King of Red Lions: Uhm . . .alright.

Link(p): Off to another adventure!!

Link(f): WOOHOO!! KLINGHBEEEEYOOOOOOH!!

King of Red Lions and Link(p): . . . . . . (sigh)

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Readers?? Still there?? Well, I'm horribly sorry about the long wait. I just didn't want to post another horrible chapter even though this one isn't as good as I was hoping it to be either. But it's getting better. It just has to get better . . . (sigh)

Besides, school's just plain horror right now. There's too much to do and I simply can't update as often as I want to and I can't write as long as I want to, therefore producing chapters of lower quality. But once I'm out of all that school terror I'll start writing like I used to. At least I hope so. So . . . be patient with your stupid, stressed, Austrian author, will you? Pretty please?