Fan Fiction ❯ The Tower of Randomness ❯ A non-random haven in the Tower of Randomness ( Chapter 6 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
CHAPTER SIX: A NON-RANDOM
HAVEN IN THE TOWER OF RANDOMNESS…
Ky and Jam, weary from their ceaseless travel in Meltarr’s hellish Tower of Randomness, wind up at a room with two doors. One of the doors has a sign that reads “SIXTH FLOOR”. The other door merely has a star drawn on it.
Ky: So, what do you think?
Jam: I don’t know. Who knows what could be behind this star door?
Ky: On the other hand, could it be any worse than the crap we might face on the sixth floor?
Jam: Good point…
Ky: Star door?
Jam: Star door.
Ky: Cool.
They open the door and enter the room. Inside, it appears to be a temple of sorts.
Ky: … This is different…
Jam: To say the least.
Ky draws his Thunderseal.
Ky: Be on your guard.
Jam: Of course.
Just then, a young man about Ky’s age walks in.
Ky: Hey! *points sword*
Man: Wait. *raises hands*
Ky: I wants answers! Who you is and who you with!?
Man: Calm down, I’m not your enemy.
Jam: We don’t know that!
Ky: We wants proof!
Man: I swear, I’m your ally! My name is Feltarr!
Ky: Meltarr!
Feltarr: No! Not Meltarr! Feltarr! I’m his brother!
Jam: Why the hell should we trust Meltarr’s brother!?
Feltarr: I’m not like Meltarr! I’m good!
Ky: … Who’s your favorite Backstreet Boy?
Feltarr: They all suck!
Ky: Do stamps rule or suck?
Feltarr: Suck!
Ky: Fonzie or Greg Brady?
Feltarr: Fonzie!
Jam: Dragons or phoenixes?
Feltarr: Phoenixes!
Jam: Shirts or skins?
Feltarr: Shirts!
Ky: Who’s the greatest writer in the world?
Feltarr: Eiji Moriyuki!
Jam: Screwball or shtick?
Feltarr: Shtick!
Ky: Coke or Pepsi?
Feltarr: Pepsi! Always Pepsi!
Jam: Yankees or Red Sox?
Feltarr: Red Sox!
Ky: Steak with fries or steak with toast?
Feltarr: Fries, man! Fries!
Jam: Freddie Prinze Jr. or Matt Damon?
Feltarr: Matt Damon! “Bagger Vance” was awesome!
Ky: His story checks out.
Jam: Indeed.
Ky: *sheathes sword* Sorry about that. You never know who you can trust in this stupid tower.
Jam: We were just protecting ourselves.
Feltarr: I understand.
Ky: I’m Officer Ky Kiske. This is Jam Kuradoberi.
Feltarr: My no good brother must be making you climb this god-forsaken tower.
Ky: Of course.
Jam: I am going to kick his ass. Just so we’re clear.
Ky: Yeah. Me too.
Feltarr: Understood.
Ky: So, why are you here?
Feltarr: I keep watch over this sanctuary.
Jam: Why?
Feltarr: This place is a haven from the randomness of Meltarr’s tower. His asinine rules hold no sway here.
Ky: So, that whole “no sex” thing is powerless here.
Jam: Really?
Feltarr: That’s correct.
Ky: So, Jam and I could…
Feltarr: If you wished.
Ky: … I like this place already.
Feltarr: All who enter here do. You may stay here the night.
Ky: Thank you. *bows*
That night, in the guest’s quarters…
Jam: Um, Ky, I know that we wanted to do this before. But my hormones have calmed down considerably since then.
Ky: …
Jam: Um, why are looking at me like that?
Ky: …
Jam: Ky, I like you as a friend. And I don’t want to ruin our friendship. One night of passion won’t make up for the-
Ky pounces on Jam, interrupting her protest. Outside.
Feltarr: Hmm…
Feltarr approaches the guest room.
Jam: Wait… don’t do that… Don’t touch me there… *giggles* Hey, don’t reach in that… No one gets to touch me there… I’m not supposed to do things like this, I have a reputation… Wait, no… not yet. You’re nasty… Oh yeah? Like that? Call me a bitch… Do that…
Feltarr: Oh shit, son… Go, officer.
Feltarr walks away whistling. The next morning…
Feltarr: Have fun?
Ky: *blushing* No, just sleep…
Jam: *also blushing* Yeah, sleep…
Feltarr: Sure.
Ky: You uh, ready to go?
Jam: Uh, sure.
And so, they resume their journey, minus the unbearable sexual tension.
TO BE CONTINUED…
HAVEN IN THE TOWER OF RANDOMNESS…
Ky and Jam, weary from their ceaseless travel in Meltarr’s hellish Tower of Randomness, wind up at a room with two doors. One of the doors has a sign that reads “SIXTH FLOOR”. The other door merely has a star drawn on it.
Ky: So, what do you think?
Jam: I don’t know. Who knows what could be behind this star door?
Ky: On the other hand, could it be any worse than the crap we might face on the sixth floor?
Jam: Good point…
Ky: Star door?
Jam: Star door.
Ky: Cool.
They open the door and enter the room. Inside, it appears to be a temple of sorts.
Ky: … This is different…
Jam: To say the least.
Ky draws his Thunderseal.
Ky: Be on your guard.
Jam: Of course.
Just then, a young man about Ky’s age walks in.
Ky: Hey! *points sword*
Man: Wait. *raises hands*
Ky: I wants answers! Who you is and who you with!?
Man: Calm down, I’m not your enemy.
Jam: We don’t know that!
Ky: We wants proof!
Man: I swear, I’m your ally! My name is Feltarr!
Ky: Meltarr!
Feltarr: No! Not Meltarr! Feltarr! I’m his brother!
Jam: Why the hell should we trust Meltarr’s brother!?
Feltarr: I’m not like Meltarr! I’m good!
Ky: … Who’s your favorite Backstreet Boy?
Feltarr: They all suck!
Ky: Do stamps rule or suck?
Feltarr: Suck!
Ky: Fonzie or Greg Brady?
Feltarr: Fonzie!
Jam: Dragons or phoenixes?
Feltarr: Phoenixes!
Jam: Shirts or skins?
Feltarr: Shirts!
Ky: Who’s the greatest writer in the world?
Feltarr: Eiji Moriyuki!
Jam: Screwball or shtick?
Feltarr: Shtick!
Ky: Coke or Pepsi?
Feltarr: Pepsi! Always Pepsi!
Jam: Yankees or Red Sox?
Feltarr: Red Sox!
Ky: Steak with fries or steak with toast?
Feltarr: Fries, man! Fries!
Jam: Freddie Prinze Jr. or Matt Damon?
Feltarr: Matt Damon! “Bagger Vance” was awesome!
Ky: His story checks out.
Jam: Indeed.
Ky: *sheathes sword* Sorry about that. You never know who you can trust in this stupid tower.
Jam: We were just protecting ourselves.
Feltarr: I understand.
Ky: I’m Officer Ky Kiske. This is Jam Kuradoberi.
Feltarr: My no good brother must be making you climb this god-forsaken tower.
Ky: Of course.
Jam: I am going to kick his ass. Just so we’re clear.
Ky: Yeah. Me too.
Feltarr: Understood.
Ky: So, why are you here?
Feltarr: I keep watch over this sanctuary.
Jam: Why?
Feltarr: This place is a haven from the randomness of Meltarr’s tower. His asinine rules hold no sway here.
Ky: So, that whole “no sex” thing is powerless here.
Jam: Really?
Feltarr: That’s correct.
Ky: So, Jam and I could…
Feltarr: If you wished.
Ky: … I like this place already.
Feltarr: All who enter here do. You may stay here the night.
Ky: Thank you. *bows*
That night, in the guest’s quarters…
Jam: Um, Ky, I know that we wanted to do this before. But my hormones have calmed down considerably since then.
Ky: …
Jam: Um, why are looking at me like that?
Ky: …
Jam: Ky, I like you as a friend. And I don’t want to ruin our friendship. One night of passion won’t make up for the-
Ky pounces on Jam, interrupting her protest. Outside.
Feltarr: Hmm…
Feltarr approaches the guest room.
Jam: Wait… don’t do that… Don’t touch me there… *giggles* Hey, don’t reach in that… No one gets to touch me there… I’m not supposed to do things like this, I have a reputation… Wait, no… not yet. You’re nasty… Oh yeah? Like that? Call me a bitch… Do that…
Feltarr: Oh shit, son… Go, officer.
Feltarr walks away whistling. The next morning…
Feltarr: Have fun?
Ky: *blushing* No, just sleep…
Jam: *also blushing* Yeah, sleep…
Feltarr: Sure.
Ky: You uh, ready to go?
Jam: Uh, sure.
And so, they resume their journey, minus the unbearable sexual tension.
TO BE CONTINUED…