Fan Fiction ❯ The Troublesome Quest For Sanity ❯ troubles in the fridge and more horrible music ( Chapter 22 )

The Disclaimer Scene:

Queenie: It's a disclaimer!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Lunatic Pandora: FEAR ME!!!!!!

Queenie: Why this time?

Lunatic Pandora: Because I own LUNATIC PANDORA'S BOX!!!!

Queenie: And I own a flat in Paris, so what?

Lunatic Pandora: But can your flat spread insanity all over the world???

Queenie: Uh . . . . . not at all.

Lunatic Pandora: BUT MY BOX CAN!!!! PREPARE TO-

Queenie: WAIT!!

Lunatic Pandora: Why?

Queenie: I wanna do the disclaimer first!!

Lunatic Pandora: -_-

Queenie: Thanks. Anyway, I don't own Zelda or any related characters. However I do own The Castle of MY, Room 6, Author Village, "GALABAZOOOO!!!" and a few other things which I created in my story. Respect this copyright or my llamas are going to hunt you for the rest of your life!! MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Lunatic Pandora: Done??

Queenie: *nod*

[Lunatic Pandora opens Lunatic Pandora's Box]

Lunatic Pandora: INSANITY WILL REIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Hyrule Field]

Ganondorf: 13 insane people . . . . . . .

Ravi: Shouldn't we find Link first?

Ganondorf: Who?

Ravi: The green guy, remember?

Ganondorf: I thought I was the green guy!

Ravi: You're the green-skinned one, he's the green-clad one.

Ganondorf: Ooooh, right. We have so much in common!! ^_^

Ravi: -_-*

Ganondorf: Anyway, I left him at Hyrule Market, so let's go!

Ravi: Ganondorf!!!

Ganondorf: What?

Ravi: That was SEVEN years ago!!!

Ganondorf: I told him to wait!

Ravi: -___-*******

Ganondorf: Oooh! I remember . . . . . Ruto kidnapped him and they disappeared!!

Ravi: And now?

Ganondorf: I'm sure that she's hiding him somewhere . . . . uhm . . . . . off to Zora's Domain!!

Ravi: GANONDORF!!

Ganondorf: What?

Ravi: Wouldn't that be a bit too . . . . obvious?

Ganondorf: Uhm . . . . . .

Ravi: . . . . . . . .

Ganondorf: . . . . . . . . . no. [runs off to Zora's Domain]

Ravi: -_____-******* [flies after him ]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[at Zora's FROZEN Domain]

Ravi: GAH!!! WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME?????????

Ganondorf: It wasn't me!!

Ravi: Yeah, sure.

Ganondorf: -_-*

Ravi: Hey! What's that??

Ganondorf: What's what?

Ravi: That!! [flies over to a . . . . . big ice thingy]

Ganondorf: Uhm . . . . a sculpture?

Ravi: Maybe a frozen Zora??

Ganondorf: It doesn't look like a Zora to me.

- long thinking pause -

Ravi: [is asleep]

Ganondorf: HEY!!

Ravi: [wakes up] AH!!!! WHAT???

Ganondorf: I know her!!

Ravi: The sculpture??

Ganondorf: It's not a sculpture . . . . . it's The Zelda Master!!!

All: GASP!!!!!

Ravi: You mean she's frozen?

Ganondorf: Yeah well, it doesn't look like she's playing golf.

Ravi: -__-**

Ganondorf: Step back - I will defrost her!!

Ravi: Erm . . . . how?

Ganondorf: I SUMMON THE-

Ravi: HEY!!!

Ganondorf: WHAT??

Ravi: Are you trying to cast a spell by using BLACK MAGIC???

Ganondorf: Yeah well, I'm certainly not playing golf.

Ravi: -____-****

Ganondorf: Can I continue now?

Ravi: NO!!

Ganondorf: Why not??

Ravi: You're not allowed to use black magic on your quest!!

Ganondorf: And who's goin to stop me, eh? Zelda? Queenie? Rauru? You???

[suddenly Morpha appears behind Ganondorf's back]

Ravi: MORPHA!!!!!

Ganondorf: Huh? Why should Morpha stop m-

Morpha: [grabs Ganondorf and throws him into the next wall]

Ganondorf: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

- SPLAT!! -

Ravi: That's gotta hurt . . . .

Ganondorf: (dizzy) Mommy, tell the yellow bunnies to answer the phone . . . . .

Ravi: [slaps him] GANONDORF!!!!!!

Ganondorf: (normal) What? Where? Who?

Morpha: RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: Morpha! Why did you attack your master????

Evil Voice (simply Evoice from now on): You are no longer his master!!!

Ganondorf: Oh great, it's you again.

Evoice: Morpha is under my command now - just as Rauru and many others!!!

Ganondorf: Many others?

Evoice: You don't need to worry about that anymore! I gave Morpha more power than you ever did and now you're going to die!!!!!

Ganondorf: *yawn* Again?

Evoice: You might have escaped Rauru, which was probably not difficult at all. And you might have killed my trusty fairy servant. BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SURVIVE THIS TIME!!!

Ganondorf: Whatever you say, honey.

Evoice: HONEY?????? WHY YOU LITTLE . . . . I mean . . . . . You have chosen your last words rather foolishly!!! But that's your problem. Go and life with it!! Or should I say . . . DIE???? MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! [disappears . . . . uh . . . . assuming that voices can disappear]

Ganondorf: Lovely . . . . .

Ravi: GANONDORF!!!!

[Ganondorf dodges Morpha's attempt to grab him again]

Ganondorf: My creatures will never be able to defeat me!!!

Morpha: Me no longer Morpha! Me Ice Morpha! Me kill you!! HULK ANGRY, HULK SMASH!!!

Ravi: Now there's something wrong with the last one . . . .

[Morpha turns into some sort of frozen hose and tries to smash Ganondorf]

Ganondorf: You . . . . *dodge* . . . . . will never . . . . . *dodge* . . . . . succeed!! *dodge*

Morpha: ME MUST KILL!!!!

[suddenly 10 more ice-tentacles shoot out of the ground]

Ganondorf+Ravi: O___O

Ganondorf: This might get worse than I expected.

[all the 11 tentacles try to smash Ganondorf]

Ganondorf: That's . . . . *dodge* *dodge* . . . . still . . . . . *dodge* . . . . . no . . . . . *dodge* *dodge* . . . . pro . . . *dodge* . . . . blem for . . . . *dodge* . . . . . m . . . . . . [gets hit by a tentacle] . . . . EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- SPLAT!!! -

Ganondorf: (dizzy) Oooh, Santa - it is you! But since when are you wearing a bra? [passes out]

Ravi: Oh great. GOOD JOB DUMBASS!!!!

Morpha: Ex-master first - now kill glowing moth!!

Ravi: I'M NOT A . . . . . uh oh . . . .

[the tentacles try to smash Ravi]

Ravi: NO!! *dodge* STOP!! *dodge* FUCK OFF!! *dodge* *dodge* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dodge*

- in Ganondorf's mind -

Voice: Ganondorf!!

. . . . . . . . .

Voice: Ganondorf!!

. . . . . . . . .

Voice: Wake up!!!

- back to reality -

Ganondorf: [wakes up] I . . . . . I heard the voice of the Goddess!!

Queenie (telepathic): THAT WAS MY VOICE, STUPID!!!!

Ganondorf: Oh.

Queenie: AND NOW GO AND KILL THAT TENTACLE THINGY!!!!!

Ganondorf: But-

Queenie: HURRY UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: *sigh* Yes Ma'am.

Ravi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! [flies over to Ganondorf and lands in his face]

Ganondorf: X_X

Ravi: I don't want to die!!! I'm too annoying to die!!!!

Ganondorf: Step aside stupid fairy!! THE MIGHTY GANONDORF WILL SAFE THE DAY!!!

. . . . . . . . . .

Ravi: And Santa's bra?

Ganondorf: -___-

Ravi: Sorry . . . .

Morpha: RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ravi: EEP!

Ganondorf: I SUMMON THE MIGHTY FLAMES OF EVIL!!!!!

[the ground starts to shake and suddenly Zora's Domain is filled with flying fireballs]

Ravi: Oh my . . . . [a fireball hits her] . . . . . AH!!! I'M BURNING!!! I'M BURING!!! THE FIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Morpha: FIRE???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [melts]

Ganondorf: MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[soon Zora's Domain is completely defrosted and the fireballs disappear]

Ravi: I'M BURNING!!! I'M BURNING!!! I'M BU . . . [flies into wall]

Ganondorf: This seems to happen pretty often . . . .

Ravi: (dizzy) But a pink bra would suit you soooo much better . . . . [passes out]

Ganondorf: [shakes his head] Pathetic.

TheZeldaMaster: BOO!!

Ganondorf: YAAAAAAAAARRRRGS!!!!! [skyrockets]

TheZeldaMaster: -_-**

[Ganondorf lands on the ground an sees The Zelda Master who's holding a big and shiny sword]

Ganondorf: AH!!! GO AWAY!!! IT WASN'T ME!!! IT WAS FROZEN BEFORE I CAME!!! I-

TheZeldaMaster: Oh shut the hell up!!

Ganondorf: <_>

TheZeldaMaster: It was me who froze Zora's Domain.

Ganondorf: You?????

TheZeldaMaster: Yep. And that's not the Master Sword . . . . that's the HOLY ANTI FISH FREAK BLADE!!! [DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN]

Ganondorf: o_Ô

TheZeldaMaster: And I am THE FANGIRL OF TIME!!! [DUN DUN DUUUUUUN DUN]

Ganondorf: Say . . . . . did you ever wonder where that Dun-Dun-Dun-stuff comes from?

TheZeldaMaster: Some things in this universe are not destined to be known . . . .

[X-files music]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[silence]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ganondorf: I'm scared.

TheZeldaMaster: I'm hungry.

Ravi: [wakes up] I'M AWAKE!!

Ganondorf: Eh . . . . yeah.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Ganondorf: Anyway, why did you freeze Zora's Domain???

TheZeldaMaster: It was necessary to stop Ruto!

Ganondorf: Stop Ruto??

TheZeldaMaster: She went completely insane, kidnapped Link and turned into a gigantic lobster-like creature!! And now she wants to take over the world!!

Ganondorf: And where is she?

TheZeldaMaster: She should be here . . . . . frozen . . . . . but my ice-spell wasn't powerful enough. [lowers head in shame]

Ganondorf: So how are we going to . . . . .

[SPLAT!! - is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's a pie!!]

Puni: HIT!!! HIT!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

TheZeldaMaster: Puni!!!!

Ganondorf: You know her?

TheZeldaMaster: Why of course! She's the Sage FanGirl of IceCream!

Ganondorf: The whaty what of what?

All: -___-***

Ganondorf: Er, never mind.

Puni: I know where Ruto is! Follow me!

Ravi: HEY!!!

Puni: What??

Ravi: Nothing, I just haven't said anything for a while . . . .

All: -________-*****

[and so they ran off to defeat the evil Link-obsessed Ruto]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[later, at Zora's Fountain]

Ganondorf: Oh . . . . my . . . . . Goodness . . . .

TheZeldaMaster: It's even worse than I thought . . . . .

Ravi: What . . . . what is that???

Puni: That's Lord Jabu Jabu . . . . . and he's frozen . . . . . and . . . . . . there's a doormat!

Ravi: What does it say?

Puni: "Come in and never come back!"

All: GASP!!!!

Voice (from inside): MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: I'M OFF!!! [wants to run away but The Zelda Master grabs his ear]

TheZeldaMaster: Oooooh no!! You'll come with me!!

Ganondorf: No! OW! My ear!! Please!!! Not my ear again!!!! I'm staying!!!!

TheZeldaMaster: Good. [lets go of his ear]

Ganondorf: Ouch . . . . . [rubs his ear]

Puni: Well . . . . . I guess I'd better go now. I can't help you anyway. But my IceCream Power is with you!!!

TheZeldaMaster: Thanks, Puni!

Puni: GALABAZOOOOOOOOOO!!!! [disappears]

Ganondorf: Why is she allowed to leave????

TheZeldaMaster: DO YOU DARE TO QUESTION MY AUTHORITY????

Ganondorf: Well-

Voice (from inside): If you want Link then come and get him!! MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

TheZeldaMaster: Just what I intended to do!! [wants to go inside]

Dr.Frank: [appears] WAIT!!!

Ganondorf: Whew . . . .

Dr.Frank: I know how to fight her!!

Ganondorf: Drats . . . .

Dr.Frank: Well, actually I don't know how to fight her, but I know how to get rid of Ruto after you've defeated her!!

Ganondorf: Get rid of her AFTER the defeat?? Sounds pointless to me . . . .

Dr.Frank: Really??? Well, think back to your defeat!!

Ganondorf: Uh . . . . yeah?

Dr.Frank: And afterwards . . . . ??

Ganondorf: They . . . . got rid of me.

Dr.Frank: Seeeeeeeeeeee!

Ganondorf: Smart ass.

Dr.Frank: Nayh nyah nyah nyah nyaaaah nyah!

Ganondorf: -_-*

TheZeldaMaster: How do we do it??

Dr.Frank: You can seal her! Into my Sacred Waiting Room. [DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN]

Ganondorf: Sacred . . . . .

TheZeldaMaster: . . . . Waiting . . . .

Ravi: . . . . . Room?

Dr.Frank: That's where I keep all my patients!

Ganondorf: Erm, but-

Dr.Frank: Wait!! A question doesn't necessarily answer a question! Don't think before you've acted! And now I gotta knit socks for my lovely cucco!! GALABAZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! [disappears]

Ravi: He never ceases to scare me . . . .

TheZeldaMaster: Who was THAT???

Ganondorf: Uhm . . . . a psychiatrist. He . . . . he's supposed to help Link.

TheZeldaMaster: Oy.

Ganondorf: Just what I thought.

TheZeldaMaster: Well, anyway. LET'S SEAL THAT FISH BITCH!!!!

Ganondorf: . . . . . yay.

Ravi: Er, guys?

Ganondorf+TheZeldaMaster: What??

Ravi: . . . . . . . how?

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

- silence -

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ganondorf: Erm . . . . .

TheZeldaMaster: Well . . . . .

Ganondorf: HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD US!!!!!

TheZeldaMaster: We're lost . . . . .

Ganondorf: Wait!!! I've got an idea!!

All: Boah, ey!!

Ganondorf: -_-* [plays Queenie's Quartet]

Queenie (telepathic): And then I told the king to fu . . . . . . oh. Hi Ganondorf!

Ganondorf: (telepathic): I need your help!!

Queenie: That doesn't surprise me.

Ganondorf: -__-***

Queenie: Speak my old lad, speak!

Ganondorf: How do you seal a gigantic lobster-like creature which formally was a Zora princess into a waiting room that's sacred?

Queenie: You mean Ruto?

Ganondorf: Yeah. How did you know??

Queenie: Well, I've been watching you!

Ganondorf: Since when??

Queenie: Since you were born!!!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~* FLASHBACK *~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ganondorf: [is having a shower]

Queenie: [watches]

*~*~*~*~*~*~* END FLASHBACK *~*~*~*~*~*~*

All: O_________________________________________________O

Queenie: Whoops, said too much.

Ganondorf: *shiver*

Queenie: Heh . . . heh . . . sorry?

Ganondorf: *twitch*

Queenie: Are you . . . . angry?

Ganondorf: Nooooo, of course not!! Why should I be angry about the fact that I'll not be able to have a shower, go to the toilet or change my clothes for the rest of my life because my psyche is deeply disturbed?

- silence -

Ganondorf: Anyway, how do we seal her?

Queenie: Use my new song! The Song of Seals!! It can send people to places like the Sacred Realm or the Sacred Waiting Room! It goes like that; [whistles a melody]

Ganondorf: [whistles the same melody]

Queenie: Perfect!! And now go and kick some ass!!! [disappears . . . . telepathically of course]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ravi: And now?

TheZeldaMaster: Just like Queenie said; ATTACK!!!!!

Narrator: And so they ran of to their certain doom. MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . ahem.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Lord Jabu Jabu - inside]

Narrator : Jabu Jabu's belly was a place filled with an evil aura.

Aria: What's wrong with her???

Aura: Yeah, what's wrong with me????

Narrator: I was talking about AN aura not AURA!

Aura : I knew that.

Aria: Absolutely.

Aura+Aria: We just love to interrupt!! ^___^

Narrator: -_^

[they disappear]

Narrator: Anyway, as I was just trying to say; this place was filled with an evil aura. Ruto had already expected the visitors. She sat on her throne beside Link's cage.

Link: HELP MOOSE ME!!!!!

Ruto: (demonic) I've already expected you!!

Narrator: Well of course - that's what I just said!!

Ruto: (normal) Oh, right. Sorry!

Narrator: Never mind . . . .

Ruto: (demonic) YOUR WORTHLESS LITTLE WORLD IS LOST!!!!

TheZeldaMaster: You wish!! [draws her sword]

Ruto: *hiss* THE EVIL BLADE!!! YOU AGAIN!!!! [turns into Ruzilla] RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TheZeldaMaster: This is not going to be of any use for you!!! ATTACK!!!!!

Narrator: And so they fought a fierce battle! But after a while it seemed pretty hopeless for the FanGirl of Time.

Ruzilla: Stupid mortal!!! Do you really think you can defeat my current form??!!! - insert evil laughter -

Ravi: Ganondorf!! You gotta help her!!!

Ganondorf: You want me to risk my own life for the good of this world????

Ravi: No, I think you should play golf . . . . . . . . OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO!!!!!

Ganondorf: Uh . . . . no, thanks.

Ravi: You can defeat Ruzilla!! Just turn into Ganon!!!

Ganondorf: Do what?? Oh, you mean . . . . . I can't.

Ravi: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, STUPID COWARD???? OF COURSE YOU CAN!!!!!

Ganondorf: I . . . . I never could.

Ravi: WHAT A STUPID EX-

Ganondorf: Let me explain it!!!

Narrator: NO!!!

Ganondorf: Huh?

Narrator: Let the flashback explain it! ^^

*~*~*~*~*~*~* FLASHBACK *~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Ocarina of Time - last scene, Ganondorf emerges from the middle of the rubble]

Ganondorf: [breathes heavily] Bloody dust!! Bloody allergy!! *breathe* *gasp* MY ASTHMA SPRAY!!!

[a ReDead appear and hands him a bottle]

Ganondorf: [still breathing heavily] That's . . . . not . . . . my spray . . . .

ReDead: The supermarket ran out of asthma sprays - so I bought this anti-asthma juice! It was cheaper and-

Ganondorf: [is almost choking] Whatever!!! [drinks the whole bottle] *gasp* Eeeew, mint!

ReDead: [reads the label] Anti-Asthma Juice, Mint-flavored . . . and . . . . uh oh.

Ganondorf: Uh oh? What do you mean?

ReDead: (reads) Warning; Can cause gigantic-evil-pig-thingy-mutation.

Ganondorf: Gigantic-evil-pig-thingy-mutation??? What's tha- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGS!!!!!!!!!

ReDead: Master? Are you alright?

Ganondorf: [his eyes are glowing red and he turns into Ganon] RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

ReDead: Jeez, you really should demand your money back!

*~*~*~*~*~*~* END FLASHBACK *~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ravi: O_O

Ganondorf: Well, it's true.

Ravi: There's only one thing we can do now!!!

Ganondorf: And that's what?

Ravi: Buy anti-asthma juice!!! [flies away]

Ganondorf: RAVI, NO!!!!

Ravi: [is already gone]

Ganondorf: Drats.

TheZeldaMaster: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [flies into the next wall]

Ruzilla: MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: Ravi should better hurry up . . . .

Ravi: I'M BACK!!!

Ganondorf: Wha- 30 seconds?????

Ravi: I've always been a quick flyer, uh . . . . fly, er . . . . . you know what I mean!!! [hands him a bottle]

Ganondorf: I don't want to drink it.

Ravi: BUT I WANT YOU TO DRINK IT!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: Why can't we settle things peacefully?

Ravi: PEACEFULLY??? [hits him in the face] HELLOOOHOO!!! AM I TALKING TO THE KING OF EVIL????

Ganondorf: Look, people can change. And I have changed . . . .

Ravi: Soap opera . . . . . eugh . . . . . [throws up]

Ganondorf: And now I'm going to talk to Ruto.

Ruzilla: MWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHA!!!! THE WORLD IS MINE!!!!!!

Ganondorf: Ruto, listen! You used to be a nice fish, eeer girl, uhm . . . . you used to be nice!! You and Link were friends!!

Ravi: I thought he hated her.

Ganondorf: (to Ravi) SHUT UP!! (to Ruto) . . . . good friends!! Why throw it all away?? Taking over the world is such a bad thing to do for such a lovely girl like you!

TheZeldaMaster: (talking to Ravi) Do you think that's going to work?

Ravi: Well, she's stopped to laugh evilly so maybe . . . . .

Ruzilla: Ganondorf.

Ganondorf: Ruto?

Ruzilla: Well - dramatic pause - Taking over the world only is a bad thing when you are stupid enough to fail more than 50 times. *smirk*

Ganondorf: O_O

TheZeldaMaster: HIT!!

Ravi: Ouch!

Ruzilla: Heh . . . heh . . . heh . . . heh . . .

Ganondorf: I . . .

Ruzilla: Aaaaaawwwww, did I hurt the little Ganny-boy?? Are you saaaaaaaaaad now? Going to call your mommies???

Ganondorf: Ò_Ó

Ruzilla: Feel like crying, do you?? Isn't the world a terribly cruel place for a wimp like you?? MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Ganondorf: Nobody . . . . insults . . . . . the great King of Evil!!!!! [drinks the whole bottle]

Ruzilla: Uuuuuuuuuuuuh, now I'm scared!!

Ganondorf: [his eyes are glowing red and he's floating in mid-air] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! [starts to transform] . . . . Mmmmmh, strawberry!!

Ravi: Strawberry????

TheZeldaMaster: (reads the label) Anti-Asthma Juice, Strawberry-flavored, Warning; Can cause Michael-Jackson-mutation!!

Ravi: OH SHIT!!! THAT'S THE WRONG TASTE!!!!

Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRGGGGSSSS!!!!!!!!! [turns into . . . . .]

Ravi: Oh my Goodness!! It's. . . . . . it's . . . . .

All: MICHAEL GANONSON!!!!!

Michael Ganonson: I love you!

Ruzilla: That's . . . . that's . . . . . impossible!!!!! HOW DID YOU DISCOVER MY ONLY WEAKNESS?????

Ravi: Uuuuuhm . . . . . . intuition?

Ruizilla: YOU WILL NEVER BE STRONG ENOUGH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!!!!

TheZeldaMaster: Ganondorf!!!! Now it's up to you!!!

Michael Ganonson: I understand . . . . .

["Bad" music starts to play, a few ReDeads appear]

Michael Ganonson: You're gonna whine,

I'm spitting right

Into your face,

Now feel my might!

ReDeads: Woohoo! Come on!

Michael Ganonson: I'm selling goo,

In Hyrule Field.

Besides this fact,

You're getting peeled!

ReDeads: Come on! Alright!

Michael Ganonson: Just wait for me,

To kick your ass!

I want you dead,

I must confess!

ReDeads: Oh yeah! The beat!

Michael Ganonson: Get in my way,

And you will see,

That this has been

The wrong paree!

ReDeads: Uh huh! Alright!

Michael Ganonson: When they say that I am harmless

Then they have told you lies

You think that you are safe but

Here comes the devil in disguise . . . .

ReDeads: WOOHOO!!

Michael Ganonson: Because I'm bad! I'm bad! I'm really really bad!

ReDead: So bad! So bad! So really really bad!

Michael Ganonson: You know I'm bad, I'm bad!

ReDeads: So bad! So bad! Oh really really bad!

Michael Ganonson: You know I'm bad! So bad! You know it!

ReDeads: He's bad! Oh bad! Oh he is really bad!

Michael Ganonson: And the whole world knows the answer right now; WHO'S BAD!?

[the music stops, the ReDeads disappear]

Ruzilla: *cough* I might . . . . *gasp* . . . . have underestimated . . . . . . *breathe* . . . . . your power . . . . . [turns back into Ruto]

TheZeldaMaster: Ganondorf!! That's your chance!!!

Michael Ganonson: Okay!! [he plays the Song of Seals]

Ruto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [disappears]

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Link: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Evil fish freak lady is moose gone!!

TheZeldaMaster: WOOOHOOO!!! You did it!!! You saved the world!!!

Michael Ganonson: I'm slowly getting used to it . . . .

TheZeldaMaster: Anyway, I have to leave! There will be a huge celebration with all the Sage FanGirls and cute Link-look-a-likes!! So, see ya!! GALABAZOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! [disappears]

- silence -

Ravi: You can turn back into Ganondorf now.

Michael Ganonson: Uhm, I guess not. (reads the label) Mutation effects can last up to 48 hours.

Ravi: O_O

[ReDeads appear again, music starts to play]

ReDeads: PARTY!! PARTY!!! PARTY!!!!

Michael Ganonson: Cause this is Thriller!

ReDeads: Thriller Night!!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Narrator: And so our heroes saved the day once again! And Michael Ganonson was dancing off into the night with a few ReDeads . . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 22 of The Troublesome Quest For Sanity was brought to you by

Anti-Asthma-Juice, the anti asthma juice and

Queenie û