Fan Fiction ❯ You Make Me Crazy ❯ Home is Where the Annoyance is ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Malon ends up in a forest full of children with no adults in sight; the Kokiri Forest. However, there's a problem; she and her horse are stuck on the top of a cliff! Mido, the leader of the forest, promises to help her if she gives him something in return; a kiss! It's a small price to pay, and she agrees to do it.

But where will she go now? And what new challenges await her after deciding on the place she will stay until building up courage to return to the ranch? It may not be so good...

Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological / Hentai | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.01.2005 | Updated On: 11.01.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 213 | Status: Completed

Malon didn't recall this part of Hyrule before. Looking down from a ledge, she saw children running about, but no adults to be seen. Were they all inside, or something? And how would Malon get herself and Epona down from there?

“Mido! MIDO!” A Kokiri girl shrieked. “There's a woman up there on a horsy!”

Mido looked up to where the Kokiri girl was pointing. “Hey,you! Just what do you think you're doing in my forest?!”

“Excuse me, but I just came from the Lost Woods. Could you please help my steed and I down from here?”

“What'll you give me if I help you?”

“Um…how about a Rupee?”

“Is this a joke, lady?!”

“Okay, what do you want?!” Malon asked, groaning.

“A kiss,” Mido sneered rather snottily.

“A kiss? Is that all? Okay! I'll give you a kiss if you help me down from here!”

Mido clapped his hands. “ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP, KOKIRI! MAKE A BRIDGE TO HELP THIS LADY AND HER HORSE DOWN!”

“How will we make it, though?” a Kokiri boy asked.

“Travel to the Great Deku Tree and request him to make a tree trunk bridge go down like a ramp from the entrance to the Lost Woods!”

“Yes, sir.” The Kokiri boy ran off to meet up with the Great Deku Tree. He kneeled to the great big tree when he got there. “Oh great Deku Tree,” he began.

“Yes, my child?” The Deku Tree was younger than his father, who originally protected the forest. He was planted after Ganondorf's curse, which killed his parent, but he was a wonderful forest protector nonetheless. After growing from a sprout to his father's size, he was dubbed the new Deku Tree, taking his predecessor's name.

“Will you please grow a trunk that serves as a ramp over the entrance to the Lost Woods?”

“You're not leaving the forest, are you?”

“Of course not, O' Great One! There's a lady on a horsy there, and she needs to get down.”

“A woman on a horse? Why, that's absurd! But if you say so…” he mumbled a few words and a rumble began to shake the entire forest. The kid ran back to the center of the forest.

“WHAT DID YOU DO, IDIOT? ASK HIM TO MAKE AN EARTHQUAKE?!” Mido hollered over the loudly convulsing ground.

“No, I told him to grow a tree trunk for a ramp, sir!” he told the leader of the Kokiri.

Within minutes, a large, bent tree trunk serving as a ramp protruded from the wall, leading down to the ground. Malon was a bit skeptical of its sturdiness at first, but she relaxed once she made it down, unharmed.

The Kokiri kids cheered and went back to their games…except for Mido, of course.

“So, uh…about that kiss…”

“Right…” Malon quickly dismounted her horse, pecked Mido on the cheek, and mounted once more. “Thank you!” she let Epona walk to the exit. They traveled over the bridge and found themselves in Hyrule Field once again.

Epona was amazed. She hasn't galloped through these fields for ages since Link saved the land from Ganon. Now she was back to her original homeland. There was only one problem…

“Where do I go now?” Malon asked herself. She couldn't go back to the ranch, or Ivo and his brothers would be sure to abuse her. She could go back to Gerudo Fortress, but Master acted rather creepy around her, and she wasn't quite ready to deal with her again just yet, although she did like her…as a friend. It was Master who didn't seem to get the message…

She could attempt to go back to Hyrule Castle once more, but she'd probably get thrown into jail again, in which case she'd be dealing with the men whistling at her once more, and no Sheik to keep her company this time. This was definitely not an easy decision.

“Kakariko,” she finally agreed. No one would bother her there…hopefully. She urged Epona into a trot and made her way to Kakariko Village.

As usual, the village was bustling with busy people who didn't even take a second look at her. Except for one…

“Malon!”

“Oh fuck.” Malon hissed under her breath as she found herself realizing that there was one person she should've kept away from; her psychologist.

“Where have you been, my dear?! You've missed your appointments for days! Were you traveling by yourself? That's dangerous, especially in your mental condition…and on horseback.” He chided.

She regretted choosing to stay in Kakariko instead of Gerudo Fortress. However, instead of galloping away, she decided to talk it through to him. “Look, Doctor Knil, I don't have time for this! I need to find a place to stay here for a little while before I decide how to save my ranch! Maybe if I get a roommate I can pay for renting a house easier…”

“Ah, my dear, you were always one of my more…creative patients.” Dr. Knil chuckled. “So tell me, what are you saving your ranch from? An angry Moblin? A Keese?”

Now completely frustrated, Malon decided to just throw out the truth. If he didn't believe her, she could easily ride away on Epona and find refuge in Gerudo Fortress. Sure, Master was a little too friendly, but it was better than dealing with him…

Dr. Knil stroked Epona on the nose, awaiting Malon's answer. “Well?”

“Okay, here's the truth. Ivo and his brothers…raped me. I was going to report them to the princess, but she wasn't there and I got sent to jail.” Malon decided to skip the fact that she met Sheik there, and many other details, so she just made up the rest. “And so I decided to…um…meet up with one of my friends in a different land who I haven't seen in many years. He gave me…um…this horse…and I rode her back here.”

Dr. Knil took out a clipboard and scratched a quill pen against some parchment. “My dear, your imagination is much…darker than usual. I don't see any improvement from the medication, either. Perhaps a higher dose is needed. Now tell me, in these bouts of depression, how many hallucinations do you have every day?”

“Hallucinations?! HALLUCINATIONS?!” Epona shifted on her hooves nervously as Malon shouted. “Sorry, Epona, it's just that this man is a fucking moron.”

“Why don't you step into my office and we can discuss this?”

“NO WAY! NO ONE EVER BELIEVES ME! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? GOODBYE! I AM NEVER GOING TO AN APPOINTMENT AGAIN!”

Epona, now completely terrified, reared up unexpectedly and tossed Malon off her back, making her land headfirst into a stack of medium-deep hay.

Dr. Knil rushed over to her. “Dear, are you alright?!”

“Fuck…you.” Malon managed to say as she slowly lost consciousness.