Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ MEOW! Kitti's FFVII Talk Show! ❯ Sephiroth ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Meow! Kitti's FFVII Talk Show!

Kitti: Well, here we are. Outside due to the fact that my house went BOOM! So I'm here outside. I've been afraid because Lawyers keep on stalking me so I got me a body guard guest! IT'S SEPHIROTH!

Sephiroth: Yo.

Kitti: So Sephy, do I own you?

Sephiroth: Am I not going to rule this pitiful planet?

Kitti: Ehhh....I don't own him! So go away you stalking lawyers before Sephiroth sics his Masamune on you!

Sephiroth: I don't listen to you.

Kitti: Uhhh...I'LL BRING OUT PALMER AND HEIDEGGER IF YOU NOT NICE!

Rufus from audience: YOU BETTER LISTEN TO HER, OR I'LL KILL YOU!

Vincent from audience: DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT A BULLET AT YOUR HEAD!

Sephiroth: FINE! FINE!

Kitti: Good, so you lawyers go away.

*50 lawyers walk away while one remains*

One lawyer: I'll be back! I will haunt your soul! HAHAHHA *runs off*

Kitti: Interesting! Anyway, on with questions.... wait, where's the audience?!

Sephiroth: They died from the last interview.

Kitti: NOOOOOOO! Wait, I GOTS AN IDEA! Vincent take shirt off now or I shall interview you again!

Vincent: *takes off his shirt* OK OK!

*suddenly the screaming fans come to watch the unknowingly why attractive body of the black haired cuuti! Yes I spell cuuti right!*

Kitti: Ok, anyone wanna ask Sephy dude questions?

A girl with brown hair raises her hand: I do!

Kitti: Ok, pinky go ahead.

Pinky w/ brown hair: WHY DID YOU KILL ME TWICE?!

Sephy: DOES SHE NOT DIE?!

Pinky: *giant mallet and walks up to Sephy*

Sephy: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! STAY AWAY! *runs away*

Kitti: Ok, commercial time!

COMMERCIAL

Tifa: Oh, what can I do? Why doesn't he understand my love towards him?

Cait Sith: Let me predict the answer...It is because...

CAIT SITH ALL KNOWING FORTUNE TELLER! ORDER NOW AT 1-800-HAH HAHA! Okie? OKIE!

Cait Sith: Well, because he likes Yuffie alot more and so do I. Roooowwwwwwrrr!

Tifa: WHAT?! WHY YOU STUFFED TOY, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Cait SIth: AAAAAAACK! *runs away while Tifa chases him with a mallet*

END COMMERCIAL

Kitti: Must remind myself to never give a FF girl a mallet!

Sephy: Darn, it's hard to kill her once, harder to kill her twice, but THREE TIMES?! Gosh, what an annoying b-

Kitti: OK! NEXT QUESTION! Girl with green eyes, white hair...and looks a lot like sephiroth...::hides under desk::

Girl sephy:Sephiroth, I AM YOUR...

Sephy: Don't say father please.

Girl Sephy: *throws a toy car at his head* NITWIT! I'M YOUR SISTER! With us combining powers we can rule this world!

Sephy: Why what an idea!

Kitti: EEK!

Sephy: WE SHALL RULE THE WORLD! What's your name?

Girl Sephy: Aeris.

Sephy:............DIIIIIIEEEEEE! *chases after Aeris*

Aeris: OK, OK, OK! SO I'M NOT YOUR SISTER!

Kitti:One last question! You, dude with the cigarette!

Cigarette dude: CAN I KILL HIM?

Kitti: GO AHEAD, CID! I DON'T CARE! Must find my valuables and find a place in antartica...hey a penny! ::bends up to pick it up and gets up::

*an explosion explodes right over her::

Kitti: Cool penny! Well it looks like this show is over....And the world is ending...And we're all gonna die! Yay! Well, anyway, I guess it looks like we hafta go. I will see you in somewhere! Ok? Cya.....CID, DON'T THROW THAT DYNAMITE! YOU'LL MAKE ME LOSE MY PENN-

*static*