Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ My Happy Ending ❯ Precipice of Memories ( Chapter 28 )

Chapter 28 - The Precipice of Memories

 

“And I will remember you,

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life

Pass you by.

Weep not for the memories.”

-Sarah McLachlan “I Will Remember You”

 

Raye had arrived at the cemetery only shortly before Cid carrying a basketful of blossoms. Among the flowers she carried were beautiful orange tiger lilies, her mother's favorite flowers. The young woman approached the headstone solemnly - this was a trip that she'd dreaded to make each year but did anyway, despite the pain that it always brought her. She made the first trip alone so that she could weep privately and let it all out before bringing the rest of her family up here.

Raye reached out and carefully cleared away some dead foliage from her mother's cornice to reveal the inscription on its front that indicated the owner of that particular resting spot:

Mai Shields

Beloved wife and mother.

She sat back on her heels and examined the stone quietly as she placed the basket at her feet. She closed her eyes to blink back a tear trying to make its way out and picked up one of the tiger lilies. She stood up slowly and placed it on the top of the headstone.

“Hi, Mom,” Raye softly said. “I brought you some flowers again.”

She kneeled down once more and began adorning the grave with flowers - tiger lilies, orchids, and some wild blooms that she'd picked up in the Ancient Forest not far from the canyon. She dusted and swept away weeds and grass as she put flowers down until she was satisfied with how it looked.

Raye finally opted to sit Indian-style on the ground facing the stone in a somber silence as she fingered the Phoenix necklace decorating her neck that once belonged to the very person resting beneath the ground. Raye had never taken it off and guarded it with her very life. She could lose everything she owned but as long as she had that piece of jewelry, it would not matter. It was fashioned from some kind of orange-red materia that could only be found within the caves of the canyon, and it glistened in the light of the now-setting sun.

The only thing that she could ever think of here at this place were the memories that she'd shared with her mother - the one person with whom she had ever really and truly be close to. Certainly, Raye was a Daddy's girl - there was no denying that - but the love between a mother and her daughter was something special and different altogether. Her mother never minded that Raye wanted to be one of the boys, but she still tried to do her best to teach Raye how to be a lady so that someday, a handsome man could come and sweep her red headed daughter off her feet and marry her.

Raye snorted at the thought. I guess I jacked that one up for ya, didn't I, Mom?

The last time that Raye had spoken to her mother alive, she was in the hospital. Her health had rapidly deteriorated in less than a month, and the doctors said that she didn't have long to live. They didn't know what was wrong with Mai, whether it was cancer or if she had the Geostigma that suddenly began cropping up among the citizens of Midgar. Either way, it sucked the very life out of her mother rapidly and it wasn't long before she'd fell into a coma and passed away silently. Raye was glad that at least her mother didn't have to die in a lot of pain - it was what she'd wanted.

A tear began to slide down her cheek, and Raye was unable to stop it this time. She figured if the waterworks were going to come, it was better that it was here and while she was alone and not in front of her brothers. She'd be damned if she'd ever let them see her cry. She had to be strong for them always because Mom wasn't there to be the rock anymore.

Yet even in this silent serenity, Raye failed to notice the presence that had appeared behind her. Cid had trodden up the familiar flight of steps holding his jacket tighter around him as the night desert air began to cool with the setting sun. For Cid, Cosmo Canyon was as daunting as it was beautiful, and though the sun began to set, he realized that the festivities - the glittering lights, milling bodies, and the sound of drums, handmade flutes, and string instruments - would continue on for quite some time. At the center of it all was the Cosmo Candle, its perpetual flame sending up smoke and sparks into the end of day.

He'd stopped upon seeing Raye's unmistakable figure already crouched at the precipice. She had her back turned to him and oddly silent, yet she was clad in the traditional handmade fabrics that the residents of Cosmo Canyon wore today. The festival was a time for those of the Canyon to return to their roots, and he suddenly felt awkward in his green tee shirt and blue carpenter jeans. Cid hugged his jacket a little closer, obscuring his broken arm hanging uselessly in a cast at his chest. The left arm of his jacket flapped emptily in the breeze, and stood for a moment watching Raye, uncertain of whether he should move. He shifted his weight, and the rocks crunched beneath his feet, oddly loud in this quiet place. She turned, startled from her reverie, and he paused, blinking.

“R-Raye?”

He knew Brad had told him that the Shields'' family came to Cosmo Canyon every year, and he now began to wonder if perhaps it was some strange force that compelled him to wind up here with her. He hadn't even spoken to her since Christmas Day, but somehow, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her.

Raye rose to her feet quickly, her long dress sliding down off her knees into a graceful cascade around her bare ankles. Looking at her, Cid was grateful that Cosmo Canyon winters were much warmer than what he was accustomed. It was still cold but not uncomfortably freezing like in Rocket Town.

“What are you doing here?” Raye asked unusually passive.

Cid stepped forward to stand near her, gazing down at what she'd been sitting in front of before he'd inadvertently interrupted her.

“I could ask the same of you,” he quietly said.

This place demanded silence, and Raye sighed heavily. When she spoke again, Cid detected certain wetness in her voice and cringed.

“I came to visit my mother.” She gestured to the marker, one of many up on this ridge, freshly decorated with wildflowers.

“You were talking to her?” he asked softly.

“So why are you here?” Raye countered, eyes growing sharp though her voice remained soft.

“You were, weren't you?” he pressed.

“I-I wouldn't expect you to understand,” Raye replied unemotionally.

Cid sighed. “Well, Brad told me you were in some kind of competition. I…was curious.”

“Oh, well I guess he didn't tell you that it got moved to tomorrow,” she responded, still lacking emotion.

“Well, that and…” His face softened. “Well…”

He placed his free hand on the middle of her back and gently steered her off to one side to a position that overlooked the cliff more directly. She was wearing an asymmetrical top that stopped just below her belly button, revealing her smooth skin, and Cid's fingers tingled at the softness of her back. He stopped after a few paces and removed his hand to reach into a pocket. Cid withdrew his hand and with it, the pouch he'd brought from Rocket Town. He stooped next to a headstone, opened the bag, and gently scattered a handful of seeds from the bag across the grave.

“I think you'll find I understand more than you think,” he tenderly told her.

Raye gasped a little, surprised at the softness of his voice, and of his actions. She crouched down beside his ankles, peering at the headstone. The inscription was almost completely obscured by a vine growing over it, and most of the grave. As the sun set into a brilliant spray of oranges, purples and reds behind them, delicate white blossoms were opening up to the stars, shining pink and orange in the red light. Cid's freshly scattered seeds glistened like tiny beads on the dark earth. The pilot stepped back, silent, and Raye reached out, gently brushing one of the night-blooming flowers to reveal a name.

Lillian Highwind

Loving wife and mother of two…

“Both my parents were born here in Cosmo Canyon, and so they're buried here,” Cid said softly.

He laid a small wooden box out on the second grave beside Lillian's, and chuckled. Between them was a smaller headstone without a name, and Raye couldn't bring herself to ask.

“My old man didn't appreciate flowers too much.” Cid said, smiling sadly. Then he added, “Well, from what I can remember of him. He'd fucking roll over in his grave if I scattered morning glory and shit all over him the way I do with ma.”

He took another handful of seeds and tossed them quickly on the center grave, and said no more. The silence stretched as the sun continued to set, and Raye discovered that she suddenly couldn't stand the silence.

“What did you bring her this time?” she asked, desperate for conversation, but knowing that anything brought up would be delicate by default.

Cid smiled a little, looking over at her. “Somethin' growin' wild off the hills over Rocket Town that blooms mid-summer. I collect a few seeds whenever I can. Actually, I think there's a little bit of a couple varieties in there. I'm not too clever about plants n' shit like that, but they're purty, and either they'll live or they won't. Most things do here, though. Maybe it's special, maybe I'm lucky. I dunno.”

He stepped back, and Raye looked down sheepishly.

“I didn't know, Cid…I'm sorry I-”

“Most people don't.” He cut her off.

“Cid?” she tried again.

“My mother…” he said, ignoring her address.

Raye could sense he was avoiding a direct conversation with her. It was vexing, and she frowned, but had no choice but to listen.

He began again. “My mother worshipped the sun. Not like a god or anything. Dun think Dad woulda' liked her much if she'd been into all that hocus pocus shit, but she appreciated it, ya know?” He turned away from the graves, gazing out at the now purple and gold sky and continued. “You'd think someone like that would find sunsets depressing, but no. She told me once that sunsets should be cherished. They didn't mean an end, but a new beginning. The sun would never die. That's the way she was. There was a girl traveling with us back in Avalanche that reminded me of my mother…”

“Cid.”

Raye's voice was firmer this time. Honestly, Cid was starting to scare her a little. She'd never heard him speak so softly for so long; never seen his eyes get that distant, haunted look that they held now. She felt as though he was sinking away from her, from the whole world, and it was disconcerting.

He turned to her then, and they were almost nose-to-nose. Cid took a breath and held it. His eyes held hers, and he seemed to be searching for something, even as he let his breath out a little, though he still held most of it.

“Cid…' She whispered this time, and he whispered right back.

“Raye…I…I don't know what's happening.”

She could feel his breath tickling her nose and lips gently, catching the soft scent of one of her favorite homemade sweets that were being sold in the Festival down below.

“What do you mean?”

He was even closer, and little alarm bells were going off in her head, ringing distantly like the low drums echoing through her village.

“I don't know,” Cid replied, and then leaned in, catching her in a strong, one-armed embrace, and caught her lips up with his. Raye went stiff, gasping at the surprisingly intoxicating sensation, arms coming up to grip the soft suede of the back of his jacket. He held her, and she melted, giving in and pulling herself close.

Cid's kiss deepened and Raye gasped, pulling away quickly.

“Oh God…” she breathed.

Wide green eyes stared up into shadowed blue in uncertainty, and Cid looked slightly sorry. Time froze, and as he reached out to touch her, she turned and fled, disappearing down the carved stairway leading to the graveyard faster than a ghost.

Cid stood, stunned, and the sun disappeared completely, leaving the sky cold. Beside him, his mother's lilies opened up to him like gentle kisses in the starlight, and still Cid stood, for once rooted to the earth. He couldn't imagine what just happened. Had he really kissed Raye? And so passionately? His heart ached, and his lips tingled, and he knew it was real.

It seemed so familiar… His mind tripped on the thought, as he realized fully what he'd done to both of them.

“Shit…” glancing once more to his mother, and then his father, and then between. He looked again toward Raye then back at the cemetery, this time his eyes falling on Raye's mother. He pulled what was left of the seeds from his pocket and scattered them on Mai's grave as well before turning his back to them all and running down the steps after her.

“RAYE!”