Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Tour of Gaia ❯ Conde Petie ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own FFIX. 'Nuff said.

The Tour of Gaia
Written by: Meildramon
Conde Pete

Zidane: Welcome ta Conde Petie, them Dwarve's dwellin'!

David Heavenguard: Rally-Ho, stranger!

Zidane: WTF? I ain't no stranger! Me 'n Dagger were the humans that you sent of to the Sanctuary!

David Heavenguard: ...uh...Rally-Ho!

Dagger, Eiko and Freya: O_O

Quina: Me hungry. Me look for food. ::runs off::

Gimli the Dwarve: Where are the Orcs? WHERE? I must beat Legolas! WHERE ARE THE ORCS???

Garnet: ...Wrong story, Dwarveman

::Gimli runs off with bloodshot eyes::

Eiko: ::giggles:: This is where I stole those berries...uh oh, am I saying this out loud?

Dwarve: Get'er!

Eiko: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ::takes deep breath:: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ::runs off::

Another Dwarve: Eh, its a Pyntie-Het! Rally-Ho!

Vivi: Did you just say Pointy-hat?!

The Other Dwarve: Nay, ah said Pyntie-Het!

Vivi: Whoops, Deja vu...

The Other Dwarve: NAY, PYNTIE-HET!

Squall: Whatever.

The Other Dwarve: NAY! ::explodes::

Vivi: Why do you keep popping up?

Squall: Whatever ::Explodes::

Garnet: Meildra, why is there so much exploding?

Meildra: Because it's funny!

Vivi: o_O

Quina: ME NO THIEF! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! ME NO THIEF! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

Zidane: DE. NUDE.. That 's what you are. Why are you running around naked shouting?

Quina: AHHHH!! I'M NUDE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Amarant: o_O Qu's are weird...Quale doesn't like hamburgers and Quan doesn't like NC-17 movies ::drools:: and now Quina's running around naked...

Quina: ::explodes::

Dagger: Hehehe...Meildra's right, this is funny!

Meildra: Told ya so...

Eiko: You're not the the thief, I am! Uh oh...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ::deep breath:: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Dagger: Stop doing that...

Freya: Anyways...moving right along...this is the famous Conde Petie food stand. Now, why was it that this village is called 'Conde Petie'?

Dwarve: We named ar village after ar famous berries, Conde Petie!

Freya: Interesting...now why didn't you name your village Pate De Foie Gras?

Dwarve: Whaaaa...??

Freya: ::explodes::

Dagger: ::ish rolling on the floor:: AHAHAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Meildra: I think she gets the point...

Zidane: Ookay...next city...Alexandria!

Little Vivis: YAY!

A/N: Will people ever stop exploding? Where did the little Vivis come from? Will the Dwarve ever find out what Pate De Foie Gras is? Tune into the next chapter of "The Tour of Gaia"!!!