Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Unrequited Desires ❯ Nibelheim Part 2 ( Chapter 18 )

A.N- Alright people I'm setting out a warning before you read…this is going to be dark twisted and demented…and do not read if you are offended by such things…and hopefully by me clues you know what such `things' are…yeah but if you do read it…don't flame me it's not my fault!

 

Unrequited Desires

 

Chapter 18 Nibelheim Part 2

 

He had gone back to the Gold Saucer, but the bloodstains on the walls were now cold, as was any trace that Sephiroth had ever been there to begin with. The stagnant air was suffocating as he looked around the once jovial place to see the slaughter that had overtaken it. That was what Sephiroth was…a slaughter. It was hard to think that they had once been friends.

 

It was Nibelheim's fault, and that damn mission that destroyed so many people's lives. It had been the cause of Sephiroth's insanity, and because of that insanity the man had caused Cloud more suffering than he would ever know. The very thought that Cloud could even think that the once great man loved him was disorienting. Though Zack knew that Cloud would soon know the truth, and he wanted to get to Sephiroth before that time came. He wanted to kill the bastard so that Cloud could finally move on from the constant suffering he had been undergoing for so many years now at the General's hand.

 

The only problem was Zack had no idea where to look for his once friend. The only whisper of him had been at this retched place, and he was long gone from it. It would be like searching for a needle in a haystack if he were to go blindly looking for him now. No, sadly the only option he had was to go back to Cloud's side until a clue as to where Sephiroth would be arose.

 

Zack looked down at his hands to see that they were still shaking. He couldn't get over the feeling of almost loosing Cloud. The incorrigible blond was his everything, and when he had collapsed and refused to wake again, Zack had more been left emptier then he had ever thought possible. Is this what Cloud felt when he watched him die two years ago? Did he feel the same loss and emptiness that radiated through his body?

 

Scoffing to himself, Zack figured that that was hardly the case. Cloud had mako poisoning too bad at the time to be feeling much of anything, and now…well now he didn't even remember it. Although it hurt, Zack was almost grateful that Cloud didn't remember any of it. After all who would want to remember five years of torture…not to mention what had happened before Hojo had gotten his hands on them.

 

No, in some ways Zack wished that Cloud would never remember, because when he did, Zack knew that he would have to pick up the pieces just as he had all those years ago, and wasn't sure if he could through with it again.

 

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Cloud tiredly rubbed his eyes before placing his helmet back on his head. He had hardly slept an hour the night before. Partly because of anticipation for their journey the next day, but mostly because Sephiroth's words still haunted him. The man had pretty much severed all ties between them, ending what most likely should have never been started in the first place. It was the end of them in his eyes, and he seemed oh-so-relieved for it to be over.

 

Though what of his feelings? Did it matter how bad his heart ached to no that Sephiroth's hand would never run down his skin again? Did it matter that he felt utterly lost to think that he couldn't even come to him as a confidant anymore? Did it matter that this changed his entire life, and the pale haired warrior had done it without a second thought. It was almost as if he were ordering coffee with her breakfast or something. It was like nothing between them had ever even mattered.

 

Though he never got his hopes up as far as that. He knew that he meant absolutely nothing to Sephiroth besides being a potential lay that he never got the privilege of having, but with every fiber of his being he longed to be something more. He wanted to be with Sephiroth, and if all they could be were friends then at least he would know that the cold and icy General of Shinra had somebody. He couldn't bear the thought that Sephiroth was really as lonely as he seemed.

 

Making his way out of the inn, Cloud smiled to himself when he saw what had transpired while he was continuing to get ready. Tifa stood with both Sephiroth and Zack, and it seemed that one of the villagers had actually talked them into taking a picture. Zack and Tifa looked only too happy to comply, but the third looked like he wanted to rip the camera out of the man's hands and beat him to death with it, and knowing him he could actually see such a thing happen…Death by camera, who knew?

 

The very second the picture had been snapped, Sephiroth walked away from them with a surly look on his face. His ridiculously green eyes scanned the area, and Cloud felt a twinge of excitement when those gorgeous eyes landed on him. They shared a gaze for only a moment, before Sephiroth glanced towards the hard and difficult trail up the mountain that they were about to take.

 

“Soliders we are leaving.” Without another word, he headed up towards the mountain, calling “move out” over his shoulder.

 

He was used to Sephiroth being his commanding officer, but he had to say, it still got him every time. After all Sephiroth could be very sexy when he was in a bossy demanding mood. When Cloud had once chastised him about, the man had stated that he would learn if he ever got in a state of power, that there was some natural high about being the person above all others that can command the world. Though in reply the blond had just scoffed and called him a snob…and then if he remembered correctly they had kissed for a very long time. Sadly there was no hope of a situation such as that ever happening again, and, like most things, it was all his fault.

 

With a sigh, Cloud jogged to catch up to his four companions as they started their very long trek up the mountain towards the Nibelheim reactor. The way he figured was that if Sephiroth was going to shut him out of his life, then he might as well hold on to the time they had now, and get as much out of it as he possibly could. After all after this he doubted Sephiroth would be handpicking him for any more missions.

?????????????

 

“How is he?” Zack asked, not even bothering to knock as he barged through the door of the dingy hotel room where Reno and Rufus had been fucking all night. He had a bad feeling in his gut since he had left the desolate amusement park, and now all he wanted was to see that his small blond soldier was okay…or rather was alive. He knew very well that Cloud hadn't been `okay' for a very long time.

 

“What the hell does it look like to you? He hasn't moved once since you dropped him off here…hell he's barely even breathing anymore.” Reno sneered as he leaned in closer to his friend, grabbing Cloud's hand as he wiped a stray lock of hair from his eyes.

 

Zack was a little shocked to see Reno huddled over the incapacitated blond's body, and he was even more shocked to see Rufus Shinra of all people being the one to stand behind him and rub his back in comfort. He really had to hand it to the President of Shinra, he know how to take advantage of a situation when he saw it.

 

He had been quite aware of the blond politician desire for the fiery Turk. As a matter of fact Rufus told him how much he liked Reno the night the Turk had dressed Cloud in drag and got him wasted out of his mind…the very night he had first met the blond. For that night Zack would always be grateful to the redhead that he acted like he hated, for although he sometimes cursed ever meeting Cloud, he knew that his life wouldn't be living if he didn't have his love in his life.

 

Yes, it hurt almost unbearably to hear the snide comments, and to be told repeatable that you were hated, but in the long run even that was better than not seeing him at all. Ever since he saw his blond drag queen in his set of heels Zack didn't think a day went by that he didn't constantly thank whatever god was listening that they had bestowed upon him such an angel.

 

The soldier scoffed to himself. `bestowed upon such an angel?' Who the hell talks like that? He was getting too sentimental again…it definitely wasn't good for him. No, sentiments tended to rot his brain, as did the sight of the person he loved the most lying comatose in a bed unable to wake up…hell he didn't even know what the hell was wrong with him. All he knew was that if he ever saw Sephiroth again he was going to make the heartless bastard beg for death to make up for all the pain and suffering he caused the person laying on that bed that could very easily already be dead. In some ways the Cloud he used to know was dead. He had been for a long time. The Cloud he fell in love died on that Nibelheim. He was murdered…and Sephiroth was the one to strike the fatal blow.

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“Spike…Spike!…Come on babe answer me!” Cloud was awakened by the sound of Zack's voice and the annoying feeling of been shaken until he cracked his blurry eyes open. He saw the SOLDIER's smiling face appear over him that seemed much more dirty than it had before. Though all things considered that really wasn't that big of a surprise. Their journey had been fine until they had gone over the rickety decaying bridge that led further into mountains. They were almost all the way across when the rope holding the death trap together began to unravel, taking him, Zack, Sephiroth, Tifa, and Caden with it.

 

He could remember the overwhelming fear as he fell, and when he hit the ground his head collided with a rock, adding yet another injury to his fragmented skull. When he came to Zack was looking over him in concern, and he could see Sephiroth checking on Tifa in the background, but they seemed to be missing a member.

 

Cloud wiped at his hazy eyes, a little shocked to see that when he pulled away his hand was stained with blood. He wouldn't be surprised if he had gotten a concussion from that latest fall, but it didn't really matter at the moment. All that mattered was that one of their own was missing, and no one seemed to be even looking for him.

 

“Everyone seems to be alright. Can we get back to where we were?” Cloud's head snapped over to Sephiroth as he got right back down to business with Tifa.

 

The girl looked frazzled as she resecured her cowboy hat on her head, and as she did Cloud unconsciously fingered his own helmet to see that his protection from his identity being found out was in place, and felt that there was a crack right down the front from where he had smashed into the rock. He supposed he should be grateful to it, if he hadn't have been wearing the suffocating thing then that rock would smashed his head in.

 

Tifa looked around, and her gaze seemed to linger on a crevice in the side of the mountains. It looked to be the opening to some sort of cave. Her finger extended towards the opening, and everyone's eyes traveled with it. “These caves are intertwined, just like an ant farm…Oh, and Sephiroth…” She hesitated, obviously nervous about being the one to bring it up. “There seems to be one person missing.”

 

The arm Zack had slung around his shoulder to help him up with stiffened, and Cloud noticed how both him and Sephiroth looked forlorn about the entire idea. Taking a deep breath, the commanding officer of their operation looked once towards him and then back towards Tifa. “It may seem cold, but we've got no time to search for him.” Blue eyes widened to saucers at the very audacity of that statement. How the hell could one person be so heartless. Sephiroth's eyes met his, as if he somehow knew already that he wouldn't take a such a plan of action without further explanation as to why they would have to do it. “We can't go back no, so we must go on.”

 

“So we should leave him to his death!?” Cloud exclaimed, forgetting to cover his voice so as not to be detected by Tifa…he could really care less about being found out that moment. All he cared about was that he had actually fallen for such a cold individual. “You can't just leave him somewhere out there! What if he's hurt? He could be in pain, and you would just abandon him!?”

 

Sephiroth's aqua eyes narrowed at him, as he turned so that he could fully scrutinize just who was before him. “I will do what I must.” He said with no emotion, hell Cloud really was having a hard time discerning if he was even human. “I cannot risk the well being of the rest of our company and the failure of this mission over one man's life. After we complete our objective we will search the surrounding area for the missing man, but we cannot afford to waist anymore time on it now. Is that clear cadet, or do you wish to talk back to your commanding officer some more?”

 

“I knew him General Sir!” He bit back, not at all in the mood to back down. “Hell I hated his guts, but I would never have wished such a fate on him…Why can't we just look for a little while?” Cloud was shaking in anger by this time, no longer even aware of his surroundings. “Don't we at least owe him that much?”

 

Sephiroth held his glare, not looking one bit intimidated by the irate blond. “No. We do not owe him that much. He is an enlisted man of Shinra armed forces, and as such knows the dangers of going on these types of missions.”

 

Zack's arm tightened around his in support, but he didn't argue Sephiroth's point. Did that mean agreed with it? Temper once more flailing, he shrugged the arm off of him, glaring at both the individuals who seemed to have sealed Caden Matthews fate. “So are you saying that if it were me to MIA instead of Matthews that you would leave me to my fate as well?”

 

Blue eyes seemed to glow in fury as he looked between Zack and Sephiroth, and heard no denial in their voices. “Spike I know it seems rough…but we gotta go on. The sooner we do, the sooner we can put this whole thing behind us.”

 

Oh, was it really as simple as that? Sure he had only seen Caden a few times, and on those occasions he had wished that something like this would happen, but that didn't mean he thought they should just leave him! What if he were alive at the bottom of the ditch somewhere with a broken leg? What if he were calling out for help, and crying because no on seemed to hear or care that he had gone missing? Zack and Sephiroth kept using the excuse of military protocol, but that was bullshit. Even if it was protocol that doesn't mean that human life should be so expendable!

 

“Fine.” He bit out. “Go on to the mako reactor. The General of Shinra and a SOLDIER first class should be more than enough to fight off whatever you may encounter, but I'm going back. I'm going to look for him!”

 

Slinging his gun behind his back, Cloud turned to go down a hill encased in fog where Caden might have disappeared to. “Cadet you take another step and you can consider yourself dishonorably discharged from Shinra.” Sephiroth's steely voice sent a shutter down his spine, and he hesitated in his steps.

 

Taking in a deep breath, Cloud tried his best to still the shakes that were traveling through him. Feelings of guilt rushed through him as he turned back around. “I understand sir.” He bit back the curses that wanted to fly out of his mouth. “My sincere apologies for acting so brash.” Sephiroth's threat had hit a nerve, because despite how much he might want to go with his principles on this one, if he did then he would never see either Zack of Sephiroth again, and that was just something he could not do.

 

Zack let out a deep breath when he realized the drama was over, and walked towards the petrified looking girl. “Come on Tifa, we should get going towards that ant farm you were talking about…” He glanced back towards the two that were still having a stare down. “Don't mind them…they do this kinda stuff all the time. You just sorta get used to it after awhile.”

 

The girl sort of dumbly nodded, before letting herself be led away from the intense battle of wills that was going on behind them. Green gazed into blue for what seemed like an eternity before the older of the two broke their gaze by moving forward. Holding his breath, Cloud tried not to show a reaction as the man tilted his chin up, looking at him through his visor covered eyes.

 

“Make no mistake about it Strife, you are not just a soldier to me.” His grip tightened. “But that does not mean that I will tolerate your lack of respect, especially in front of a civilian.” Sephiroth leaned in close, reaching out to put a strangling tight hand on his hip. “Do I make myself clear?”

 

Using his free hand, Sephiroth tilted the visor up on his helmet so that he could see his face. “Crystal.” Cloud bit back, turning his head away so that he wouldn't have to look into those penetrating eyes any longer. His hand fell down to touch the silver haired warrior's hand that was still resting on his hip. “Why do you pretend so much Sephiroth?” His voice was far away as he looked back towards his almost lover. “Why is it so hard for you to show people that you're not as ruthless as you make yourself out to be?” He leaned in closer, ghosting a hand across the General's cheek. “How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to pretend with me? It must be tiring putting up such an act all the time.”

 

Cloud's hand was batted away, and the arm wrapped around his waist was withdrawn as the cold silver haired beauty seemed to retreat back into his wanton shell. “We should get going. We must be close to the reactor now…I can smell the mako from here.” Knowing he wasn't about to get through to him anymore, all the blond could do was nod and follow his CO, making sure to flap down his visor once more as he did.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Cloud's mouth dropped to the floor as he took in the sheer magnitude of the reactor in awe. It seemed to stretch miles, and yet in comparison with Midgar seemed almost miniscule. It was just hard to believe that something this humongous was hidden inside the mountains where he grew up, and yet he had no idea. It was baffling.

 

Tifa skipped ahead, spinning around in a circle as she stared up at the reactor she had so kindly led them to. “We finally made it.” She turned towards them, smirking as she placed her hands on her hips. “We sure took the long way though.”

 

Zack gave her a smile before walking past her and placing a hand on her shoulder. “Tifa, you wait here.”

 

It was no surprise when the order immediately beset a pout on her face. “I'm going inside to. I wanna see!” Truthfully Cloud couldn't blame her. Growing up he could always remember Tifa being an adventurous person, and it was everyday that you got this close to Nibelheim's feared mako reactor, only to be denied entry at the last second.

 

“Only authorized people are allowed in.” Sephiroth snapped, obviously not in the best mood after their last skirmish. “This place is full of Shinra's industrial secrets.”

 

“But!” Tifa tried once more to try to force her way in, but you could tell that she had already all but given up.

 

Sephiroth turned towards him, and Cloud could see the hint of a malicious smirk adorning his features. “Take care of the lady.”

 

Jerk! Cloud's teeth grit together as he fought against everything in him not to say something back. He was on babysitting duty? He had come all the way up here only to get left out at the last moment like some common civilian because Sephiroth was still pissed off! The man could be fucking vindictive when he wanted to be.

 

His fingers dug into his palm as Zack shot back a sympathetic look as he followed Sephiroth up the stairs and into secretive depths of Shinra's innermost secrets. Tifa stomped a boot into the ground, turning to glare at him in a fit that he by all means wished he could be immature enough to throw. “Mm, man!” She stuck her tongue. “Better take real good care of me then!”

 

Cloud nodded towards her, trying to answer her without once again having to speak and risk her finding out about his identity. He knew he especially couldn't let it slip now, not after how much Tifa had seemed to cling to Zack, and yet hadn't said two words to him before now. It just showed that him being in the position he was at now would never be good enough for his childhood wanna-be sweetheart.

 

Sinking to the ground, Tifa brought her knees up to her chin as she began absentmindedly drawing in the ground with a stick. “You Shinra people are all the same…so unfriendly. Cloud's not like that though…he's one of the nicest people I've ever met.” She gave a laugh while doodling what looked to be a boy with spiky hair in the ground. “A little strange, but then I wouldn't have him any other way.” Warm chocolate eyes turned towards him. “Are you sure you don't know him?”

 

Shaking his head, he tried to swallow the guilt of lying to the girl he had grown up with's face, and once more looked the other way. Damn that Sephiroth. Not only had he discluded him from examining the reactor, but he left him with her knowing that something like this was bound to happen.

 

Tifa scoffed. “Geez, you don't talk much, do you?” She shrugged. “Now see that I don't understand. How is it that you can give the most powerful man in the world cheek, and yet you can't even give me a simple yes or no?”

 

A blush graced his face at that. How could he have been so stupid? Not only did he manage to piss Sephiroth off with his tantrum, but it seemed that Tifa had also noticed that oddity in the fact that he had yelled at such an important person.

 

“Though you know I can't say I blame you…That was a pretty cruel thing to do. I don't get it, you know?” She looked up to him expectantly, and knowing he had no choice in the matter Cloud asked the inevitable.

 

“Don't get what?” He tried to hide his voice as much as possible, and it seemed to work for she never questioned him. No, it seemed she was much too focused on her tirade to care about the familiarity of the voice that was talking to her.

 

“The big hoop-la with Sephiroth…I mean sure he's gorgeous, but he just seems so mean. Why look up to someone so emotionless? He doesn't even care about his own troops…who could respect a leader like that?”

 

Cloud's protective side picked up, and he couldn't help but to immediately jump to Sephiroth's defense. “You're wrong…Sephiroth demands respect…he's respect incarnate. The man is the very essence of greatness, and I was wrong to question his authority.”

 

Tifa smiled at him, and she gave him a wink. “Yeah? Well I think that's just `cause you kinda like him.”

 

He turned ten shades of red at that, and he was once again incredibly thankful that Tifa couldn't see his face. How could she possibly know? He's heard of woman's intuition, but this was just ridiculous! Was he really so transparent? Could everyone see just how much he cared for him?

 

Backing up in his nervousness, Cloud quickly turned away from those smiling eyes that seemed to be mocking him. “You presume a lot.”

 

“Am I wrong?” Scuffling could be heard behind him, and he didn't have to wait long before Tifa was standing in front of him trying to catch his eyes. “Don't be embarrassed about it…he is gorgeous after all, but there's no point denying it either. I can just tell these kind of things.” She gave a laugh, as she once more secured the hat on her head.

 

“W-why…” He cursed himself as his voice came out as a stutter and tried to get control of himself so that he didn't come out sounding like a simpering schoolgirl. “Why would you say something like that?”

 

“Because you guys got so angry at each other.” She stuck her finger out in front of her as if she were reciting some well-known fact. “There's always attraction involved when there's that much yelling and anger between two people.”

 

Cloud was going to respond to that, really he was, but what the hell do you say? He could try to deny it, but chances are Tifa would only give him that damn knowing smirk of hers, or he could own up to it, and then he'd have admitted to it. So he did the only thing he could do in that situation, he huffed, and turned around to avoid the look she was no doubt giving him. It would just be better this way.

 

He was just going to have to realize the fact that from now on Sephiroth was off limits. The man literally wanted nothing to do with him, so the sooner he got over this little crush of his, the better for all of them it would be. That of course isn't to say that he didn't have a crush equally as big on Zack, and of course the soldier even admitted to still loving him, but he wasn't about to go crawling back to the spiky haired man on the off chance that he did something incredibly stupid and hurt him again. No, he would just have to live with the fact that he had fucked up royally, and now the two people he loved were gone forever. Attraction had nothing to do with it, when you screw up as bad as he did nothing can make it right.

 

They stood like that for what seemed like hours in complete and utter pain numbing silence. It was the kind that just ate you away from the inside, because the entire time all you wanted to do was fight through the silence, and yet you had nothing non-idiotic to say. Tifa would sigh every now and then, but it seemed her friendliness towards a normal grunt soldier had its boundaries, for she didn't try to strike up another conversation after Cloud had abruptly put an end to the last one.

 

No, as a matter of fact it wasn't until Zack and Sephiroth came bursting out through the doors of the reactor that either of them even moved. Cloud was immediately en guard at the worried look that covered the SOLDIER's face, but what worried him even more was the haunted far away gaze that seemed to have befallen their General. He was lifeless almost as he whisked past them and back down the mountain, and the blond knew without a doubt that whatever had happened in that reactor between the two of them had seriously fucked Sephiroth up…he didn't even seem human any more, and he had yet to even talk to him. No, it seemed that whatever had transpired behind Shinra's closed doors had made their little situation go from bad to worst.

?????????????

 

Aeris ran a hand through her hair, sighing in complete and utter exhaustion for what seemed like the millionth time that day. She really had little idea how things could get any worse. She could hear the planet's call to her, just like she could feel Cloud's lost soul wandering around in the abyss…no doubt trapped in his frozen memories.

 

It was such a cruel thing to do to him. She could understand the reasonings well enough, but in her opinion there were just some memories that were better forgotten. Cloud was happy, well as happy as you could be under his circumstances. The last thing he needed was to remember everything he had either pushed out of his mind, or Hojo's ghastly experiments had severed him from. She didn't know the whole story, because Zack refused to tell her everything that went on, but from how him and Reno talk about it the situation doesn't exactly paint a pretty picture. She doubted even Reno knew the full extent of what went on back then and he's allowed into even the securest files of Shinra.

 

Nibelheim was a cursed place, and if she had her way she would have let Cloud keep the few wretched memories he had of it, and let the other ones stay secured in his mind. Unfortunately the planet does not feel the same way. It knows what has to be done in order for it to survive. Gaia has a way of taking care of its self regardless of what the humans who claim to run it do. It considers both Jenova and Sephiroth a threat to its safety, and there was no doubt in her mind that it will do everything in its power to make sure that that threat is eliminated. Human lives were just an expendable loss that it had to calculate in.

 

She sunk to her knees in the middle of the run down church in the slums that she had asked Cid to take her to while Zack and Cloud were at the Gold Saucer. The fragrant smell of the flowers that didn't seem to grow anywhere else always soothed her and helped her hone in on the planet's call. She could feel it's reach stretching out now, and its victim had no idea what he was in store for.

???????????????

 

Cloud glanced nervously around the dusky old mansion that he had been sent into to look for Sephiroth. He didn't think the man was acting quite right after they left that reactor, and his recent actions only proved it. He had been missing ever since they had gotten back into town. By all means their mission should have been over but their leader chose to go AWAL. Seeing as Sephiroth was pretty much the one thing Shinra army currently relied on, he didn't really think if him and Zack showed up back at headquarters by themselves that that would go over all the well with the higher ups. So, what did that mean for them? It meant looking long and hard over the small hick town that he wanted nothing to do with in the first place.

 

As for what happened inside the reactor, well Zack would only tell him bits and pieces. Though those bits he did decide to divulge left a bad taste in his mouth. Not to mention the fact that Zack would get a troubled look on his face whenever he would have to bring it up, and whenever he mentioned Sephiroth a new wave of sorrow overtook him that made Cloud nervous as to just what happened in their between the two. After all what could they have possibly seen that would just make Sephiroth disappear like that? It didn't make any sense.

 

Zack had forbid him to go back into the mountains to look for Caden. He didn't seem to want him anywhere near that reactor, and because he was the current CO, Cloud could do nothing but obey the command and wait for Sephiroth to once more make an appearance. Which, judging from past experiences, wasn't going to be until he was absolutely ready to do so. In his opinion if Sephiroth didn't want to be found, then they weren't going to find him. Yet the alternative was to do nothing, and so they had no choice but to look.

 

Resigning himself to his fate, Cloud stepped further into the dark mansion, careful to leave the door open so that the morning light shone through the door. He was only a few feet into the place and he was already fully creeped out. The entire place was covered in dirt and cobwebs…not to mention long ghastly scratches all over the wall that he could only imagine he didn't want to know what they were from.

 

“You know I've always wondered…what was this place used for?” He asked Zack, who seemed to be having none of his hesitations as he scanned the place for any sign of their superior.

 

Though that didn't mean that he didn't take the time to answer his question, after busting one door in, he turned back to the blond. “Apparently Shinra people used to live here, but I've heard a different rumor.” Cloud rose an eyebrow, and thankfully Zack clarified what he had meant. “I heard that this is where the Shinra science department used to go to do all their `secret' research projects.”

 

Cloud shuddered. He was fully aware of the ghastly things they did at Midgar that weren't secret; he could only imagine what travesties they had committed that had required discretion. “No crap…you know I was always terrified of this place when I was younger. I always had nightmares that I could hear the most pain stricken screaming coming from this place…but now that I think about it…”

 

“You probably weren't dreaming it.” Zack answered for him, mirroring his thoughts. The SOLDIER was giving him a dark haunted look, and it only served to send yet another set of shivers down his spine at the thought of finding some sort of torture chamber in the form of a laboratory in the bowels of Shinra mansion.

 

Securing yet another room, Zack nodded to him and motioned towards the stairs, where Cloud reluctantly followed. He had once been dared when he was little by an older kid to sneak into the mansion. He had only made it through the front door and into the entryway before he heard a crash from the top of the stairs and took off running. So with that thought in mind he wasn't exactly looking all that forward to wandering into his childhood nightmare. Though orders were orders, and they had to find Sephiroth to help him, and so he followed.

 

“Just seeing my old home town makes me remember how badly I wanted to make it into Shinra so that I could get outta here.” He said as he walked beside Zack, careful to check for any footprints in the dust that might leave a clue to their CO's whereabouts. “But you know the whole `Shinra' experience was a lot different then I thought it would be.”

 

“I'll bet.” Zack gave him a smirk before busting in another door. “Not everyone comes to the military and catches the eye of such a handsome SOLDIER…not to mention General Sephiroth himself.” He winked at him, but the normal jovialness wasn't behind his gaze. “I bet the folks at home would never believe how promiscuous you've become.”

 

Cloud's cheerfulness immediately faded, and he pushed past Zack, going to investigate the room himself. He had heard the spite behind his ex-lover's voice, and although he deserved every bit of it, it still made him made that he had placed it behind a mocking gaze. “Oh don't hold back Zackary…why don't you tell me how you really feel?” He growled, not at all in the mood for the guilt trip at the moment.

 

“What's there to say? Actions always spoke louder than words anyways…and boy did yours speak volumes”

 

He stopped his search right then, anger bubbling up in him like a volcano. Spinning around to face the SOLIDER, Cloud couldn't help but snarl in his face. “Fuck you!”

 

Zack's head tilted to the side. “No thanks…see I've already the pleasure of doing such a thing…as I'm sure plenty others have.” His face hardened. “Now I know you slept with both Sephiroth and Reno…but tell me who else did you manage to cheat on me with?…'cause you know I might need to get myself tested for anything you might have picked up.”

 

The words stung, and not knowing what to do to get the brash accusations out of his head, Cloud did the only thing he could think of…he fought back. Lunging forward, he pushed at Zack's chest, knocking him backwards and hopefully down a peg. Though the SOLDIER was quite a bit stronger than him, and so all the push did was make him stumble a bit. “You asshole! Don't you dare call me a fucking whore!” He screamed, not at all caring to be subtle. “Reno is my best friend…and for your fucking information I never slept with Sephiroth!”

 

Golden eyes slightly widened at that, and Cloud decided to take him down one more peg. “Oh, what does that surprise you? It shouldn't…you're the only one that's ever been inside of me.”

 

Seeming to get over his surprise, the scowl once more came back to Zack's face. “Oh, what am I supposed to take your word on it? What the hell is the word of a liar anyways?”

 

This wasn't right. Zack never fought with him, as a matter of fact Zack was the nicest person he had ever met in his life. He hadn't even been this venomous after he had caught him cheating…both times. No, there had to be a reason behind this recent hostility. Cloud's anger immediately diminished as he could only think of one possibility on what that could be.

 

“What happened in there with Sephiroth?” All the anger was gone in his voice, only to be laced once more with concern.

 

Though just because his anger had subsided, that didn't by any means entail that Zack's had…as a matter of fact if anything his fury intensified. “I'll tell you what happened…I witnessed first hand just how hard even getting up in the morning and breathing must be for Sephiroth. I saw some of the horrible things they had done to him to make him believe that he wasn't even human…and he used to be able to deal with it before. He could bounce back from all the experiments and tests, because in the back of his mind he felt somewhat less than human, but then you came along and had to go and make him happy.”

 

“I wasn't aware that that was a crime.” Cloud shot back, not at all liking the implications of what he was hearing.

 

“Yeah? Well it is when after giving him that happiness you rip it right back away.” He ran a hand through black spikes. “It amazes me how such a pipsqueak could manage to ruin so many people's lives in such a short amount of time.”

 

Cloud shook his head, not at all believing what he was hearing. “No! Don't you dare try to blame this on me! Who was the one that cheated on their fucking fiancé to begin with? Who was the one that kissed her when they were supposed to be with me on Valentine's Day? Who was the one that asked me to give them one more kiss after I was making Sephiroth happy?” He pointed an accusing finger. “You don't get to point fingers Zack and forget just what you did to make all these things happen. I may be mostly to blame…I admit that, but you don't get off Scott free!”

 

The SOLDIER's glare softened for a moment, before it came back full force. He opened his mouth to spew out what was no doubt more insults, but then seemed to get some of his docile composure back and instead just took in a deep breath to calm himself. “I'm going to take a walk. I'll talk to you later when we've both calmed down.”

 

Scoffing, Cloud turned his back to his ex-lover, muttering, “You do that…” over his shoulder. As a matter of fact he didn't turn back around, hell he didn't even breath, until he heard the front door to the mansion slam shut to prove that Zack was really gone. After he was sure he was alone, he let out an anguished breath, and once more set out in the task of looking for Sephiroth. From what he had just heard, he knew it was more important than ever.

 

Clearing the room where they had started their fight, he moved on to the next one…and the next one…and the next one. He had heard of covering you tracks, but this was just ridiculous. It was like Sephiroth had never even come to this town!

 

His hopes of finding him were beginning to lessen as he checked the last room in the mansion and he came up once again empty. This was all too much. He couldn't handle Sephiroth being AWAL, and he couldn't stand how much Zack's words had rang true. It was all his fault…it was all his fault Sephiroth was like this, and it was his fault that Zack now felt such hatred towards him.

 

He slid down the wall in a weightless mass of lost hope. His hands dug into his skull as he tried to figure out what he could possibly do now. What do you do when you've screwed up everything in you life that ever meant a damn to you? He could try to fix it, because chances are he couldn't screw up anymore…though knowing him the chances on him screwing up yet again were rather high. He was wrong to have ever thought he could have them both. Hell, he was wrong for ever coming to Midgar in the first place. He was scum, and he deserved to be stuck in this hellhole. It was almost poetic justice that Sephiroth would decide to disappear here of all places.

 

Slumping backwards, Cloud was fully prepared to spend quite a long time just feeling sorry for himself and waiting for an epiphany to come to him, but that epiphany came much sooner than he had ever thought possible. That is it came in the form of the seemingly normal wall behind him sliding open as he pressed against it, and sending him tumbling down a flight of stairs.

 

His head hit rather painfully on the landing, and as he rolled over it took all of the balance in him not to fall over the edge. Damn…falling down 12 stairs really does hurt like a bitch. Trying to get his bearings, he rubbed at his head, which had quite the bump on the back of it. He really wouldn't be all that surprised if such a hit had finally been the one to give his poor injured skull a concussion. Was it just this places wish to give him brain damage?

 

Looking around, the blond saw that he was about halfway down to what looked to be the basement. The stairs he had haphazardly rolled down looked to be centuries old, and not all that stable…but then again it shouldn't surprise him. It was just like Shinra to have some creepy secret entrance in the wall that led to a no doubt even creepier basement. He didn't even want to think about what he would find at the bottom of those stairs should he choose to go.

 

He covered his mouth from the stench wafting up from the bottom. He almost gagged when he realized just what it was. Decay…decay from old bones, and he had no doubt in his mind that some of those bones were human. Those screams that he had always thought he heard once more echoed in his mind, and yet another chill traveled through him.

 

For a moment he considered going back up to find Zack, but then the fight they had just had came back to him, and even if it did add extra security, he couldn't think of a person he would rather see less at the moment. So, with a sigh, he gathered all the courage he had in him and headed the rest of the way down the stairs. As he descended he couldn't help but think of a passage he had once read in a book of poems. It had said when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back, and well he thought he finally understood just what that was talking about as he reached the bottom. He could see a faint trace of light cascading out of a room in the back, and he knew that what lay beyond the light could very well be perpetual darkness. Though he refused to back down and go for help. This was the now or never time and he planned to prove that he was worth more than they pegged him for. He just wished that he hadn't left his gun back in the hotel.

 

Every step he took sent another bad feeling down his spine. The walls seemed to whisper the secrets of all the blood spilled throughout these halls. Bones were scattered all over the place, and the closer he got to a door in the wall, the stronger the smell of rotten decay became. With a gulp of fear, he reached out for the worn rusty doorknob, but just before his hands closed in around it he heard a maniacal laugh coming from the source of the light around the corner.

 

The hairs bristled up on the back of his neck as the sound struck warning bells in his heart. He recognized the voice as Sephiroth, and yet there was something different about it…something almost…He had to get there now!

 

Stumbling over the bumpy floor, Cloud rushed around the corner and towards the source of his anxiety. He practically skidded to a halt when he actually made it to the room that was lit up. It was…unbelievable. He knew now that the rumor Zack had told him about the experiments was entirely true. All you had to do was take one look around to know that sins beyond comprehension had happened back then.

 

Countless books full of research notes lined the walls that were slowly collecting dust, and as to what those notes were about…Cloud could only guess. Containers filled with what looked to be pure mako sat half emptied in the corner overlooking the hospital bed caked in dry blood. Tools so heinous that he didn't even think they should exist lined the walls in the back, and as his eyes caught sight of them flashes of the disturbing things you could do with such things flashed through his mind. This really looked more like a torture chamber than a laboratory.

 

Not being able to help himself, Cloud reached out for the nearest book, and flipped through its old musty pages. `experiment failed. Subject had low tolerance to the test. Mako water seemed to have a troubling effect with the creature. The creature was disposed of after the autopsy revealed that his stomach had combusted.' Cloud flipped back a page to see just what experiment the subject had failed, and almost vomited with what he read. `Experiment 203, Subject labeled Beast will have a hose inserted in through his mouth. We will then pump his stomach full of water infused with mako.'

 

Throwing the book down, Cloud grimaced with disgust as he looked at the countless other notes that were no doubt full of such inhuman tests. Whoever had been down here had to have been pure evil.

 

“Interesting aren't they?” Forgetting that he had rushed in here to see Sephiroth, the blond jumped about ten feet before whirling on the smirking General of Shinra. Though honestly at the sight of him all he could do was stare.

 

There was no doubt in his mind that he was looking at Sephiroth, and yet there was such a subtle difference about him that it was hard to tell. For one thing his normally perfectly kept appearance was lacking in several ways: his hair was unkept, he seemed to have lost his calm composure, and his face was pale and drawn from the man's obvious lack of sleep. Yet the thing that Cloud found the most troubling were his eyes…they seemed to be a different shade of green almost. They were lighter, and there seemed to be almost a crazed haze in them.

 

Unconsciously taking a step back, Cloud couldn't help but be wary in such a circumstance. “Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for days.”

 

Smirk never leaving his face, Sephiroth took a step forward, and Cloud used everything in him to resist the urge to take another step back. “I was finding out who I am…who I truly am.”

 

“Who you are?” Cloud asked, not at all liking where this was going.

 

Sephiroth walked closer, and this time Cloud really wished he would have backed up because he reached out for him, placing an icy hand on his cheek. “Yes, and also who you are.” The blond shuddered as the hand drew along his face. It was like a completely different person was touching him…it was like this wasn't Sephiroth at all. That hand gently rubbed against his face, but then his nails dug into the soft skin of the blond's cheek and slashed across. “You're a traitor!”

 

Crying out, Cloud grabbed at his injured face, trying to stop the flow of blood that splattered the cement floor that had probably already seen too much of the crimson substance for its lifetime. He didn't hesitate in backing up this time, as a matter of fact he retreated until his back hit a gurney in his way to the wall. There was something seriously wrong with Sephiroth, and he couldn't help the sense of overwhelming fear that traveled through him when he realized that it was only the two of them down here. If something really did happen, no one would know about it.

 

The only chance he had now was to try to get Sephiroth to act sensible again. A feat that he had no doubt would prove challenging. “Traitor?” He asked, trying to understand why Sephiroth had just done what he had. Unfortunately all he got was more confusion.

 

“Long ago, disaster struck this planet. Your ancestors

escaped... They survived because they hid. The Planet was saved by sacrificing the Cetra. After that, your ancestors continued to increase. Now all that's left of the Cetra is in these reports.” Sephiroth recited methodically. It was then Cloud looked over his shoulder and noticed the stacks upon stacks of books that had been taken off the shelves. Had he been reading those this entire time? Had he been researching these Cetra?…But why?

 

“What does that have to do with you?” Cloud timidly asked. His fear over what that answer was going to be was doubling by the second.

 

Giving a laugh, Sephiroth looked at him like he was some unintellectual bug that needed to be squashed. “Don't you get it? An Ancient named Jenova was found in the

geological stratum of 2000 years ago. The Jenova Project. The Jenova

Project wanted to produce people with the powers of the Ancients......

no, the Cetra! ...I am the one that was produced.”

 

Bile rose up his throat as a wave of nausea once more passed through him at those words. It took everything he had to hold back his throw-up as he struggled to grasp what he had just heard. It had to be some mistake, didn't it? Sephiroth couldn't possibly be…he couldn't possibly be… “Pr…Produced?”

 

It had to be some mistake! Sephiroth was human…He was real! Once more Zack's words about how Sephiroth had found something that made him believe he was less human filled his mind, and he shook his head to dispel such thoughts. This wasn't real…but Sephiroth was!

 

A finely sculpted eyebrow rose in amusement at Cloud's shocked antics, and it seemed to give him an infinite amount of pleasure to answer his question. “Yes. Professor Gast, leader of the Jenova Project and genius scientist, produced me.”

 

He covered his mouth in disgust at the insane glow that seemed to be in Sephiroth's eyes as he proclaimed that he was the result of some experiment to create a clone of Jenova…whatever the hell that was. Ancients…Jenova…Shinra…it was all too much. This had to be some sort of fantasy…it couldn't possibly be happening.

 

“Se..Sephiroth I can't believe that you were created, and you shouldn't either!” Pushing past his trepidations, he moved back towards the upset silver haired man. “I've touched you Seph…I've kissed your lips…you're real…you weren't produced!”

 

At the sight of Cloud drawing closer, a feral grin seemed to come onto Sephiroth's face, and he only beckoned him further. “Are you so certain? All my life I've known I was different…better than mere mortals, yet the one thing I truly desired I could never have.” Blue eyes widened as an arm wrapped around his waist and drew him even closer. “I know now what the problem was…I could never truly have you, because I'm not truly human…that disgrace of a species is beneath me…” Cloud shuddered as Sephiroth leaned into his ear, letting his warm breath ghost against his flesh. “And very soon you will be too.”

 

Before he even had a chance to react, Sephiroth had grabbed him by the shoulders and flung him forwards so that he crashed in the hospital gurney and smashed against the wall. Pain lanced through his hand, and he looked down to see blood weeping from a hole in his hand where one of those horrible instruments used to torture was impaled through his palm.

 

Searing pain traveled through his body as he resisted the urge to scream at the sight. His whole body was shaking as he reached towards the wound, trying to figure out if he should pull the metal instrument out or not. He held his hand out in front of him, and before he could do anything that hand was grabbed, and he actually did scream out in pain this time as Sephiroth grabbed the tool, ripping carelessly out of his hand.

 

What the hell was happening? Why…why was Sephiroth doing this to him? It was like he had lost his mind! He tried to rip his massacred hand away, but it was kept in a vice like grip as Sephiroth bent it back, forcing Cloud to lean backwards onto his knees in submit.

 

“Stop it!” He cried. “What the hell is wrong with you!?” Sephiroth walked around his body, smiling as he kicked forward, connecting with the blond's chest and sending him sprawling onto his back.

 

Once he hit, Cloud immediately tried to scramble away, but the pale haired man was on him in an instant. The blond tried to flail away as his hips were grabbed, but that only seemed to entice Sephiroth more, because he let out that same maniacal laughter he had first heard upon entering the basement.

 

Cloud kicked out, connecting a well-aimed shot with his attacker's chest that got him free for a moment. Though it was just enough time to turn over on his stomach, and no sooner had he gotten about a foot away, then Sephiroth's leather boot pinned him in place on the floor by rather painfully pushing into his lower back.

 

That boot was soon replaced by a knee as he placed his entire body weight on top of him, and grabbed a tuft of blond hair, pulling Cloud's ear up to his mouth. “What's the matter Cloud…scared?” He once more cried out as Sephiroth bit down on his earlobe, and he could feel the warm liquid rolling down the side of his face from where it was no doubt bleeding. “You should be you worthless creature…I'm going to get you completely out of my system…I'm going to make you scream.”

 

“No…please Sephiroth No!” This wasn't real…Sephiroth wasn't really doing this to him! His eyes widened in terror as Sephiroth…no this wasn't Sephiroth…the demon who had possessed Sephiroth pulled a knife from his trooper uniform. He was sure he was going to die, and that terrified him, but he wouldn't be nearly that lucky to get away with something so simple. No, he was in store for so much worse, because the man's words rang a new kind of truth when you used the knife to cut at his shirt, and brought his free hand around to begin undoing his pants.

 

“No!…Please No!” He sobbed, not at all caring about the tears that were falling freely down his cheeks. “Anything but this…not this….please don't…” He sobbed even harder when he received yet another laugh as his pants were slipped past his hips and the remnants of his shirt was tossed carelessly against the wall.

 

He heard the sound of a zipper being undone, and he had no doubt the sound was coming from Sephiroth's leather pants. A shudder of repulsion passed through him as his hips were raised so that he was sitting on all fours, and a freezing cold hand traveled the length of his bare back, tracing the muscles of his ass before ghosting past his entrance. How could this be happening? He had always dreamed of Sephiroth making love to him…but not like this…never like this!

 

Sephiroth was stronger than him, hell he could do anything he wanted and Cloud probably couldn't do a damn thing…but he couldn't just sit here crying while the man he loved raped him while he had lost his mind. Using all of his remaining strength the blond pushed back as hard as he could, connecting his hip with the man's groin and making him grunt in pain.

 

Cloud tried to scramble forward, but it seemed Sephiroth had a higher pain tolerance than most men, because he was back from it in an instant. A handful of blond hair was grabbed as Sephiroth growled in displeasure before lunging his head forward, making sure to connect his forehead with the cement so that his skull cracked with a sickening thud.

 

Dizziness washed over him, and he knew that he wasn't going to bounce back from this head trauma as easily as the others. Black spots rose in his vision as he fought back unconsciousness, though honestly he didn't know what could possess him to want to stay conscious. He could see yet another blood spot on the floor, and with a shaky hand reached up to feel a lesion stretching the length of his forehead.

 

Before he even had a semblance of his bearings, Sephiroth had grabbed his hips, and with no amount of mercy plunged to the hilt inside of him. A scream of pure agony tore from Cloud's throat at the unbearable pain that ripped its way through his body. It felt like someone was ripping him in half as the sizzling fire burnt all of his nerves.

 

“Beautiful Cloud…your scream is beautiful…let me hear it some more.” Sephiroth said before withdrawing and once more plunging inside. Another scream ripped through him, and another. He screamed until he was hoarse and all he could do was cry.

 

Sephiroth pounded in and out of him without mercy, using his body as some tool for punishment. Because this was his punishment…Sephiroth blamed him, and this was what he got. Another cry tore from his strangled throat as fingernails dug down his back, making sure he felt as much pain as possible throughout this entire hellish experience.

 

With one last excruciating thrust Cloud felt Sephiroth's seed pore into him, mixed rather sickly with his blood. As soon as the man had pulled out of him, the blond collapsed to the floor. His mind had completely shut down by this time, and now all he could do was cry his eyes out over what the person he had thought cared for him had done.

 

He grunted as a boot connected with his stomach, kicking him over so that he was back on his back, staring up into the face of what he had deemed the monster of his worst nightmares. “Sic transit Gloria…” He gave a haunting laugh. “If I ever see you again little lover, I will not hesitate in killing you. You are a traitor to this planet, and no one is above my mother's vengeance.”

 

Cloud watched with wide empty eyes as the demon that had replaced his friend turned and walked away. All he could do was listen to the sound of his own sobs as tears fell haphazardly down his cheeks. That was it…everything was over. He thought about what Sephiroth had said to him before he left. He only knew a little Latin, but he did know that passage. Sic transit Gloria meant simply glory fades. How terribly truthful such a statement was.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

 

 

A.N- …………………..wow…man that was freakin terrible!…you think that was hard to read, well try writing it. God I tried so many times to get out of having to write that part, but a plot is a plot…and well it couldn't be avoided. Oh yeah, and you know when he was reading in the book about that experiment, well I just want you people to know that I'm not that demented that I could actually think of such a thing. I went to the Holocaust museum and that was an actual experiment that the evil Nazi's performed on the people in the camp. They would stick a hose down their throat and see how much water they could pump down it until their stomach's exploded…seriously sooooo evil. But hey I've just been watching Band of Brothers too much…lol. I bet everyone's reading this author note and going why the hell are you writing about such things…but hey it was in my head…lol. But yeah if you all don't hate me after that chapter I would really appreciate a review. Thanks for reading and for all the reviews I've received so far. They really mean a lot to me!

 

Next chapter is the last part of Nibelheim!