Fire Emblem Fan Fiction ❯ Fire Emblem: POR~Funny That ❯ Funny That 3: How To Woo The Girls; Boyd Style ( Chapter 3 )

Fire Emblem: Path Of Radiance~Funny That

Genre: Romance/Humour/Drama

Pairings: Ike+Elincia. Slight Ranulf+LetheBoyd+Titania

 

I haven't done a Fire emblem fic before, so I just figured, hey, why not?

Disclaimer: If I owned the fire emblem games, there would be more romance in them : )

 

It's the Boyd chapter people…

 

Funny That 3: How To Woo The Females; Boyd Style

Basically, Ike, Titania and Mist had caught up with Stefan and Rolf. Stefan had somehow managed to escape Ike's grasp earlier and had resumed chasing after Rolf, choosing to ignore the steaming angry blue haired lord at his tail. It was when Rolf turned a sharp corner but Stefan failed to and slammed into a wall, afterwards falling flat on his back, accompanied with a dazed expression. He had closed his eyes, regaining his breath for a moment and then reopened them, to find Ike and Titania's faces above him, glaring angrily.

 

As for Rolf, well, though at this particular moment he was unaware, he was being chased by one furious valkyrie. But eventually, he chose the opportune moment to look over his shoulder to no longer find Stefan chasing him with a murder intent, but Mist. At first, you would have preferred a valkyrie with no horse chasing after you opposed to a swordmaster with a level S sword, but this was a fuming Mist…and ticked off females…did not bode well for certain little archer/snipers.

 

He tried not to yelp out loud and tried to quicken his pace only to find himself…slowing down. It seemed he had run much too far and fast on those little legs of his and now he was coming to a stop.

 

`No! I can't stop! I have to out speed one crazy girl. Why on earth is Mist chasing me in the first place? Because I got an A+? Oh dearie me Mist, jealousy is unbecoming. Maybe if I stop completely and talk to her…'

 

“ROLF!”

 

`Aaaahhh…I think I'd prefer my legs to fall off later.'

 

Using every last muscle in his body, he forced his aching legs to go on, feet pounding against the floor, arms swinging forwards and backwards. He gulped and daren't look back, in case the venomous face of the female made him falter.

 

Meanwhile, Stefan had roughly been yanked up by the paladin and the lord and realised he had to confront them properly now. He couldn't escape as Titania had his left arm in a firm grasp and Ike, vice versa, had a firm hold upon his right arm. He hadn't a clue why Ike was after him. The possibility of someone who got a C+ being jealous of someone who got a F- - - - - , though Stefan was positive a grade like his would be left as `un graded' was ruled out. Then there was Titania. Why was she..?

 

The red haired paladin smirked dangerously at the green haired swordsman, bringing forth a crumpled piece of paper from behind her back. Realisation crossed Stefan's features as he stared, but it quickly replaced by fear. Well, at least he knew Titania had not gone mentally insane. Just insane from anger…but what was the deal with Ike? Why was he..?

 

“You wrecked Elincia's picture Stefan!”

 

Oh.

 

Damn the boy and his feelings for the Queen.

 

Stefan was now wondering why he had decided to interfere with his personal life. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have had to have sat through a hell long lesson being snapped at and being bored to death, he wouldn't have gotten the lowest grading in the universe aaaaaaannnnnnnnnndddddddd to top it all off, he would not be about to be killed by the boy he was helping and his oddly enough and shouldn't be sensei.

 

Why did he help Ike again?

 

Ah, right…

 

A sigh escaped his lips.

 

`I like happy endings without the woman being scared off by the man's love skills.'

 

He glanced into the angry lord's blue eyes.

 

`And I'm a sucker for all the romance n' stuff. Sometimes anyway…'

 

Halting his musing, Stefan grinned shakily, looking to and fro the two others, who raised their brows at him. He was now formulating how to get out of this unscathed, but was not seeing many possible routes to use. Then, something hit him, kind of like when Ike whacked him upside the head. Huh? Wait a sec…he'd already been drawn into the torture.

 

“Ouch,” Stefan groaned, shaking his head as the throbbing increased and he eyed Ike, “I didn't mean to ruin your beloved's picture.”

 

At this, Ike's face reddened and his grip on Stefan's arm weakened. Stefan, noticing this, blinked curiously at Ike, before a sly grin spread across his face. That was it. One of Ike's newly discovered weaknesses, discovered by Stefan himself. It was the sword masters escape route…

 

“Ike, don't let Stefan trick you.” Titania warned sternly. The lord scratched the back of his head with his free hand, giving his new partner, as Mist had run off, a confused look.

 

“What do you mea..?”

 

“Wow, think about the rings you and Elincia are going to have when you get engaged.”

 

Ike blushed again, though it was a shade deeper and covered more of his face. His grip weakened even more. Inwardly grumbling, Titania rolled her eyes, glowering at Ike warningly.

 

“Don't take his words in.”

 

“Are you saying I haven't got a chance with Elincia?”

 

“No Ike. I'm saying don't listen to him at this point.”

 

“Oh, that I can…”

 

“Think how many people will be at your wedding.”

 

A deeper shade of red.

 

“Ah um…”

 

“And the bishop guy! Why not get Rhys to do the honours of asking those `I do' questions?”

 

“Ike! Don't…”

 

“And then the honey moon. You're going to get busy there aren't you? Heh heh…”

 

A completely flushed and red face, grip nearly slipping…

 

“IKE!”

 

Red face set to only a small strip of red, grip on arm tightening more, so it's more like squeezing, determined face in place. Stefan winced at the pain Ike was beginning to inflict, but he still managed to grin cheekily at the young lord. He knew Ike was on breaking point. He only needed one more little push…

 

“Think about all the Ike and Elincia juniors running over the place within a few years time. Geez, this place is gonna be swarmed!”

 

Success!

 

A wonderful assortment of shades of red covered his entire face and ears and in a swift motion, he had released Stefan's arm. Stefan, grinning like a Cheshire cat, managed to wrench his arm away from Titania's when she dropped her guard, glaring at Ike and his stupid ness. Then, she realised she had been stupid as well and slapped her hand to her face, shaking her head, while Stefan was already about forty miles ahead. The swordmaster, rejoicing at his freedom, loudly `Whooped!' and jumped into the air while running, arm raised triumphantly. Titania was still angry but calmed herself down. Still, Stefan didn't have to be cocky and rub it in. He'd still be here if Ike hadn't messed up in the first place.

 

Sighing, Titania glanced down the corridor, standing next to a hyperventilating Ike. Stefan had completely disappeared from view. She closed her eyes and began humming to centre herself. She hoped Mist had faired better…

 

Funny That 3: How To Woo The Females; Boyd Style

 

Mia flipped her dark purple hair out of her way, green eyes gazing at something intently. The thing or rather, person she was so interested in gazing at was Rhys. But actually, she was becoming rather annoyed, as she had found out Rhys' must terrible and shocking secret. He was cheating on her…

 

He had promised she would teach him how to fight with a sword, not Oscar! And she was also peeved that Oscar did not know the first thing about the magnificent thing called a sword. He didn't understand how smooth and fine the blade was…how it gleamed under the starlight, lighting up the area with a magical glow…how when it was swung the majestic ness and elegance just flaunted off it as it gracefully gutted the opponents…

 

Sigh…

 

Swords were her one true love.

 

She was just cheesed he had chosen a lance user who had no eyes over a swordmaster like herself.

 

“RHYS!” She boomed in an angry and upset voice.

 

Rhys, who was holding a simple Trainer sword, froze right while he was swinging the sword down. Oscar turned to see Mia appear from the shadows, a childlike anger on her face. Oblivious to her anger and being the calm green haired lance wielder he was, he simply smiled, which turned on the ignition to Mia's fury. She never did fully like Oscar. There was just something about him…the way he was always smiling; the way he managed to battle with his eyes closed…there was just something about him…

 

“Konichiwa Mia. I was just warming Rhys up until the real master showed up. You of course.”

 

Mia's face lit up and she practically glomped an unsuspecting Oscar.

 

She just loved Oscar! His constant smiling brightened up the day! The way he somehow battled without having open/ and or no eyes was absolutely baffling and amazing. She suddenly loved him nearly as much as her swords, but nothing could surpass the love for her swords. They were breathtaking… “Can you let go off me now Mia? I must go help Boyd prepare for his lesson today.” Oscar pleaded in a tone that sounded like he was being strangled, still forcing a smile on his face. Mia blinked up at him with the expression of Rolf when romance was mentioned around him, green eyes clearly showing confusion.

 

“I thought his lesson was tomorrow.”

 

“No. His is at dusk today, followed by yours at 6am.”

 

Mia, not releasing him from her glomp, gawked up at him, sadness reflecting in her eyes and expression once again.

 

“Wha? I have to get up at dawn?”

 

Oscar, fearful of her reaction if he replied to that considering the position he was currently trapped in, shifted his hidden eyes to Rhys, a pleading look on his face. Rhys just smiled sympathetically. He was no help…

 

“Well um…you actually have to get up a tad earlier than that…”

 

Alarmed, she glomped him even harder, making Rhys wince and Oscar lose breath. His swore the girl was crushing his lungs, but being the gentleman he was, he couldn't find it in himself to raise his voice at such an innocent young woman. Not that he particularly could at the moment anyway…

 

“Oh well…” Mia sighed, letting go of Oscar and scuffing her feet on the ground. Happiness radiated off the lance user as he gasped for breath and Rhys smiled warmly, glad Kami had spared his friend… “Now Oscar, you can go and help Boyd, while Rhys starts his own lesson.” She beamed, the response being a nod from the man. Oscar gave Rhys a sympathetic smile, before bounding off before Mia suddenly decided to glomp him again, while Rhys was left wide eyed, staring at Mia with a slightly scared look as instead of picking up a Trainer, Mia chose a Silver sword. She continued to beam at the man, raising her sword arm. “Okie dokie Rhys. Your first lesson is dodging a sword!”

 

Funny That 3: How To Woo The Ladies; Boyd Style

 

Ike was even more annoyed than he had been earlier. In fact earlier, he had been sitting around doing nothing for half an hour, when he could have been keeping full inspection upon Elincia and Andrew, to find that he had arrived half an hour too early. Then, he had gotten a lower grade than a child and he was in truth a good student. Then, he had let Stefan go away and had shown his main weakness perhaps to both Titania and Stefan and they could, in future, use it against him. He didn't think Titania would generally use it, but Stefan…Then, after enduring all that, he was told he had the next lesson today actually and it was Boyd's. A week previous, Ike had caught a bug so he was opted to catching things more easily, though he prayed it would be Elincia's heart instead of Boyd's girl skills. Then, he found he had to wake up a little before six am, get ready and then be attacked by Mia, who would probably squash his hopes in a peppy way. He had planned on going to bed after/ or if he had killed Stefan, but apparently, whatever kamis there were, they were all laughing their large kami like heads off and plotting on how to ruin his day further, somewhere in some big heaven place over a game of poker…oh wait, poker hadn't been invented yet. Forgetting that…

 

And now, Stefan he and Titania for some reason were in the same room as earlier. Stefan had a scowl on because he had been forced into yet another lesson. Ike had a scowl on because well…a lot of bad things to make a scowl appear had happened and now Boyd was his sensei. And Titania had a scowl on because she had not killed Stefan and was no longer the sensei…Boyd was late as well and Stefan had struck a deal, saying if he told the truth of things about these lessons, he would not be killed. He had said he was certain the lesson was actually at dusk and not half an hour earlier or before. Another thing was that Mist and Rolf were missing also. Had Mist caught him? Had Rolf somehow escaped?

 

After they had been sitting there for five minutes, the door swung open, revealing Boyd holding his little brother in his arms, who was struggling to get away and a smug looking Mist, arms crossed, located beside him. Ike sighed in relief at the fact he would not half to wait around too long, but that was followed up by a sigh of aggravation and exasperation at the thought of how bad this lesson would be…

 

Boyd stepped into the room, letting go of Rolf in the process, who yelped as he landed, but was half caught by Mist, who smiled sweetly at him, her Shinon type side gone, which Rolf appeared grateful for. One thing that the seated three were thinking about was why Rolf looked unscathed. Stefan suddenly got very angry again. First, Rolf snitches on him, gets a much higher grade for snitching on him, and then doesn't get hurt while Stefan gets restrained and walloped on the head? Bah, this boy had all the luck…maybe he could go all moody Shinon on that little traitor when no one was watching…ah, but speaking of Shinon, Shinon himself would go all moody Shinon on himself as he was very overprotective of Rolf. Bah, the boy was protected as well…

 

Boyd grinned as he made his way to the front of the `classroom.' Rolf shut the door and he and Mist went to sit down. Stefan suddenly had a thought. Why was he in this lesson? He stood up, smile on face and began to move towards the door.

 

“Sit down boy!” Titania boomed and in a flash a timid looking Stefan was seated again, sweat running down him like a waterfall, while Mist and Rolf giggled and Ike gaped dumbly at him. Boyd sweat dropped before running his hand through his hair in a cool way.

 

“Hey, Titan…uh, I mean Titania dear. Why are you doing the ordering, I am the sen…”

 

“Don't call me dear!” She snapped.

 

Boyd raised his brow in a superior way.

 

“You're going to get a detention soon.”

 

He gulped when she gave him a death glare. He sweat dropped once more, before tentatively scratching the back of his head. “Titania, why on earth are you even here?” He questioned.

 

“To make sure these lot behave…” She replied acidly, warily eyeing those other than Boyd in the room. Boyd scratched his chin thoughtfully, before he smiled reassuringly at her.

 

“Don't worry Titania. You can go; after all, keeping them in order is my job. After all, I am the sen…”

 

He stumbled backwards slightly when she glared at him, gulping again. “You can stay then I guess.” He stated in a small laugh.

 

Regaining his composure, Boyd began to pace, trying to think up how to start the lesson. The way Oscar had suggested it seemed much too calm and Boyd liked things with a flair. After thinking so hard he began to get a headache, Boyd began to get the idea…

 

“Sensei Boyd!”

 

…And then lose it.

 

He glanced over to see Stefan, hand in the air, staring at him. He smiled warmly at the boy…uh ah…man and ushered for him to put his hand down, which he complied with.

 

“Ah, what is it…”

 

“HEY!” Titania bellowed, glaring daggers at both Stefan and Boyd, “HE DIDN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO GIVE HIM THE GO AHEAD TO SPEAK! HE SHOUTED OUT! AND YOU SMILED WARMLY AT HIM! THAT'S NOT HOW IT GOES!”

 

“Bu…but Titania, he only…”

 

“NO BOYD! YOU ARE THE WORST SENSEI IN THE HISTORY OF THE HISTORY OF THE WORST SENSEIS…”

 

“You didn't call him sensei Boyd earlier Titania!” Rolf squealed.

 

`Oh no he didn't!' Were the thoughts of everyone else in the room besides Rolf and Titania. There was a tense silence, before Titania turned her neck around to face him, kind of in a similar way to the demon possessed girl in the exorcist, eyes blazing. Rolf found himself shrinking under her piercing glare.

 

“Did you just tell on me?” Titania said in a calm and slow way, each and every word laced with venom. Rolf, sweating like a waterfall, smiled sheepishly at the paladin, pressing further and further back into his chair, so much so it tipped backwards and nearly toppled over.

 

“Well I um…sort of….” He squeaked. Stefan he could get away of snitching on, but Titania? Heck no. Her hair was as fiery as her temper when it was provoked and when she was dealing with new subjects, A.K.A not being the sensei this time around…

 

“Anyway, Ike get up here.” Boyd commanded, in an authorative tone. Ike blinked in a startled manner, before dumbly pointing to himself and saying;

 

“Me?”

 

“Hai. You. Now get ya butt up here.”

 

“What? But why..?”

 

“Demonstration. Now c'mon, I don't have all day.”

 

Mist visibly paled at the word `demonstration' and Titania, frowning darkly, and cast Mist a wary look. Mist hated the word demonstration and she had her reasons. It was practically already an evil word, even before it messed with her. DEMONstration. It had the word demon in it!

 

Ike nodded and getting up, made his way to the front. Boyd grinned at him appreciably before turning to the next person for the demonstration; Titania. She narrowed her eyes at him and he sweat dropped. Why didn't he just choose nice not believing she is a sensei Mist? Because Ike would found it odd doing it to her? Yeah, so he had to choose Titania. “Now, uh…will Titania please come up?”

 

Ike glowered at Boyd in an affronted manner and he shrugged in an apologetic way back. Titania leered suspiciously at him, before shrugging casually and joining Boyd and Ike at the front. Boyd coughed, clearing his throat, before he spoke again. “Right, now Ike, I am going to show you and display to Titania my moves and you are going to copy them to her afterwards, k?”

 

Ike's face paled for two reasons. One being because he really didn't want to do it and two being what Titania would do if he used one of Boyd's flirty moves on her. Ah well, he'd see what the reaction would be once Boyd did it.

 

Boyd looked to Titania for approval and all she looked bothered about was cracking her knuckles. Boyd inwardly whooped. Not only was he doing this to help Ike with Elincia, but he had always wanted a reason to try and show Titania his gentleman like ways. They all thought he would be a flirty hentai right? Well he was going to prove them all wrong. Stefan noted the grin on Boyd's face and slumped in his chair, trying to decipher the meaning of it.

 

Boyd approached Titania and looked to the ground, before looking back up and interlocking eyes with her and his gaze was…lovingly! Stefan fell forward, face slamming against the surface of the table, earning concerned glances from Mist and Rolf. He had done that to stop himself from laughing out loud. So, Boyd had something for Titania eh? Maybe these lessons together would help those two as well. Stefan smiled smugly. It was going great so far. Ike was going to get tortured, he was having a fun time and he had not gotten into trouble. Surely he would get a good grade.

 

He knelt down on one knee, taking her hand gently. Ike gaped, Rolf and Mist's eyes bulged out and Stefan was having a heart attack from not letting his laughter out. Titania's eyes widened slightly. What on earth was Boyd kneeling for? “Titan. I know when I first met you, I knew I felt something. And from then on, I could only think about you. How your eyes burned with intensity as you fought, how your long hair swayed in the blasts of wind that caught it, how an angel must have been laughing when you were. Hai, I am not afraid to admit it…I love you…”

 

The very touching speech was cut off by Stefan roaring with laughter, having to clutch his sides from the pain his laughter was inflicting. Rolf was just gaping, so surprised at his oni-chan, Ike was speechless and Mist had her hands clasped together, dreamy expression in place. Titania couldn't believe this. She just knew she was blushing, but…she didn't know Boyd could be such a charmer! It was a shame he was only doing this to show Ike…

 

`Wait, nani! Why do I care if he's not serious?' Titania asked herself. Boyd then stood up, releasing Titania's hand and beaming at her, causing more heat to flood her cheeks. She quickly hid it though, crossing her arms and giving him a half lidded look. `He was amazing.'

 

“That was ok.” She remarked in a dry tone, making Boyd grin. To get Titania to not bash him was a miracle and he thanked Kami. He turned to face Ike, winking.

 

“I won't make you do it, but just remember it when your asking Elincia to marry you.” Boyd grinned.

 

Ike blushed, looking down at his feet, scratching the back of his head bashfully. Boyd then rummaged through a bag he had brought and pulled out a few pieces of paper. He took one from the small pile and placed it out upon his `teacher desk.' “Stefan, hey! Come up, it's your grade time!”

 

Stefan was there in an instant, big Cheshire grin in place. Boyd smiled at him and began scrawling on the piece of paper with his thick felt pen. “Y'know, you were my best student, so you're gonna get the best result.” He grinned smugly and was handed the paper. He took it proudly and glanced over it, to find his grade was a…F- - - - - ?

 

He gawked in utter disbelief at it while Boyd called upon Rolf who came to his oni-chan, saluting like a little solider. Boyd began writing on the paper, eyeing Rolf. “And `cause you're my little brother, I'm gonna give you the lowest grade. An A+. Heh, think I don't know how to grade? The further into the alphabet you go up to F the higher the grade. - means going in that direction and + is the opposite, so - is the best to get, so hah! Just try and correct me!”

 

“Oh no oni-chan,” Rolf sighed, taking the paper and putting on a mock upset look, “you're right. Oh, why am I so dumb?”

 

“Because I was born with the looks and the brains.” Boyd replied, running his hand through his hair. Stefan began to interject, but couldn't when Titania glared at him threateningly. He sighed and lowered the paper, eyeing Rolf who smugly wiggled his eyebrows at him. Oh, damn that kid. Stefan glowered at him again. Rolf and Stefan were out of the door again and another chase was on. Stefan was just hoping he wouldn't run into a pictures or hadn't left any paper in people's hairs this time…

 

Titania got a F---and Ike got a F-, while Mist got a C-.

 

Boyd, Titania and Mist left the room, all appearing tired, leaving Ike to his musings. He placed the paper on the sensei's desk, running his hand through his spiked hair, before glancing at the ceiling.

 

“I'd better get some sleep.” He grumbled in exasperation.

 

“YOU CAN'T OUTSMART ME TRAITOR!” Was heard from Stefan again. And then, a follow-up occurred. “OH! Shinon! Nah…no…I wasn't chasing after Rolf with Vague Katti in the air, I swear.” And after that there was some punching heard.

 

Ike smiled wearily. Shinon and Gatrie must have arrived from a mission they had been dispatched to. He also realised that whilst Rolf will in future provoke Stefan to chase him, Shinon will be there cracking his knuckles. Ike chuckled.

 

“Funny that.”

 

Funny That 3: How To Woo The Ladies; Boyd Style

 

End

Tsuzuku

A/N: Hmm, that was very odd, wasn't it?

 

Next up is Mia's lesson.

 

And yes, Boyd and Titania will also become students in it, for reasons I can't comprehend.

 

Poor Ike has to wake up at 5 something am : |