Fire Emblem Fan Fiction ❯ Why Sain? ❯ Why Sain? - Part 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Fire Emblem: Why Sain?!

Part 2

 

Lloyd: *opens door to his room* Jaffar!! Welcome bud!

 

Jaffar: -_- Let me in.

 

Lloyd: *lets him in*

 

Linus: Hey Nino c'mere!

 

Jaffar: *gouges his eyes out*

 

Nino: *runs up* Yes Master Linus?

 

Jaffar: I hate your guts.

 

Linus: I hate your balls. *grows a new pair of eyes*

 

Jaffar: O_________________________________________________________O WTF?!?!

 

Linus: Hah, I learned that one at a strip joint!

 

Nino: What's a strip joint?

 

Lloyd: Linus' room.

 

Linus: Damn straight.

 

Jaffar: Do you feel good poisoning an innocent girl?

 

Linus: Sure, almost as good as I felt when I was poisoning your mom.

 

Lloyd: XD

 

Jaffar: You KNOW that's a touchy subject with me, Linus.

 

Linus: Yeah…heh…I know!

 

Ursula: *in passing* Nino, come with me, dear.

 

Nino: ^_^

 

Jaffar: ********************************************* YOU ************************** DAMN ******************** SON OF A *********************** F*************************ING SLEEZY ***************************** BITCH WHORE FACE!!! ….*******!!

 

Linus: Wow…I….I'm sorry man.

 

Jaffar: NO YOU'RE NOT!!

 

Lloyd: No, he's not.

 

Ephidel: i'M ePHIDEL!

 

Jaffar: *kills*

 

Nergal: *pops in* ….. *steals his quintessence*

 

Jaffar: I'm blowing this joint.

 

Lloyd: AWW!! DUDE!! You won't believe where Jerme stuck the tail on Darin!

 

Jaffar: I HATE YOU ALL!!! *stalks off*

~-~-~

Sain: Soo…what brings you here buddy?

 

Jaffar: I'd rather be with you than anyone else right now.

 

Sain: I love you too!!

 

Jaffar: Wha? No! I don't love you!!

 

Sain: *nibbles on Nils' foot*

 

Jaffar: *looks at Nils with disgust* That is one sad excuse for a person.

 

Sain: Yeah…well, he's still company in dark times.

 

Nils: >_> He promised he wouldn't eat my ding-dong if I talked to him.

 

Sain: And I haven't done it yet! ^_^

 

Jaffar: *facepalm*

 

Sain: I like how my hand smells, too! *sniffs* Smells like doodie!

 

Jaffar: I wonder why.

 

Sain: `Cause I've had my hand in my—

 

Jaffar: Shut up. Just shut up.

 

Sain: Okay.

 

*awkward silence*

 

Jaffar: I think I'll go to bed…

 

Sain: D'okay! See you later, friend!

 

Jaffar: Yeah, sure. *walks off*

~-~-~

Jaffar: *throws Serra into Sain's cell*

 

Sain: Hi beautiful! ^_^

 

Serra: Hi! ^_^

 

Sain: No, I was talking to Jaffar.

 

Jaffar: ……..

 

Serra: *huff*

 

Jaffar: They weren't coming after you, so we had to take someone else.

 

Serra: Lololol Erk will come and rescue me I know he will because he's my bodyguard and everyone knows that body guards are supposed to keep people safe so if he didn't keep me safe then he wouldn't be doing a good job as my bodyguard so I'd fire him and get someone else like that hottie Matthew to protect me or maybe I could get Marquess Ostia's brother himself to be my bodyguard omg that would be sooo cool he's so handsome and the way he swings around that axe of his really turns me on but I can't remember his name what is his name Heath no Harken no Hector no Hawkeye no—

 

Jaffar: Are you insane?!

 

Sain: I'm Sain! ^_^

 

Nils: Jaffar…I think you keep taking the wrong people.

 

Jaffar: Thanks Captain Obvious.

 

Nils: Well if it was so obvious why didn't you notice?

 

Sain: OOOOHHH!!!! BURN!!!

 

Jaffar: -_- *walks off*

~-~-~

Nergal: I am very disappointed in all of you. Why would you hold a party without my permission?

 

Lloyd: Well, I did invite you, but you said you were busy.

 

Nergal: What could I possibly been busy enough with that I would inadvertently give permission for this while I was thinking about—

 

Sonia: *wink*

 

Nergal: Ah, okay, I see what you're saying.

 

Lloyd: So it's alright?

 

Nergal: Oh, heavens no! You all are going to scrub my dungeons clean with toothbrushes!

 

Jaffar: Sir, I hardly had anything to do with—

 

Nergal: No excuses! All of you except Linus will start scrubbing immediately!

 

Jaffar: Why the hell not him?!?!

 

Nergal: Because I know he couldn't have disobeyed the rules because he's such a good boy, aren't you?

 

Linus: *smiles*

 

Nergal: *random fond noises* You all go! Go get generic soldier to give you toothbrushes and start cleaning!!

~-~-~

Generic soldier: Now you all aren't to come back up here until you're finished cleaning, you hear?!

 

Jaffar: You have no right talk to any of us like that.

 

Generic soldier: Shut up, whelp!

 

Jaffar: …*vein pulse*

 

Generic soldier: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll never do it again!!! *runs off*

 

Lloyd: Well this sucks.

 

Jaffar: More than you know.

 

Sain: Jaffar! Jaffar! *whisper while motioning* Come here!

 

Jaffar: *rolls his eyes and walks over* What?

 

Sain: ………….*whispers very quietly* We're out of Tostitos…

 

Jaffar: -_-

 

Serra: I absolutely looooovvveee Tostitos they're sooooo good I remember one time me and Erk had a Tostito eating contest where we each had a bag of them and we tried to eat them as fast as we could I totally beat him by so much I was so quick he didn't have time to eat one he just walked away I guess he got scared because he knew he couldn't win I had a puppy once his name was Fred but one day Fred ran off because he didn't love me he was soooo smart though because he ran to my friend's house so I could get him back I love Fred soooooooo much I wonder what metal is made out of—

 

Jaffar: SHUT UP!

 

Serra: ……I think it could be made out of rubber but I'm not sure….

 

Jaffar: *sigh*

 

Linus: HEY! GET TO WORK!!!

 

Jaffar: F*** off.

 

Linus: Ah ah ah! That's no way to talk with Nino behind you!

 

Jaffar: You probably speak like that all the time around her anyway so it doesn't really matter. *turns around*

 

Linus: Ha! Fooled you! *pushes Jaffar over* HAHAHA!! Now I'm going to go poison your grandma! *runs off*

 

Jaffar: SHE'S THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE LEFT, YOU BITCH!!!

 

Linus: *cackle*

~-~-~

Jaffar: Hey Ursula.

 

Ursula: Hello, Jaffar.

 

Jaffar: Do you ever get the feeling the Black Fang has just…you know...gone down the tube?

 

Ursula: I think about it at night. We used to be feared.

 

Jaffar: Yeah, I know! People would cower in fear if someone said the word “black” in public in fear that the word “fang” would come after it…we were like Lord whats-his-face in a book Nino was reading to me.

 

Ursula: Nino can read?

 

Jaffar: No, I was just looking over her shoulder as she tried.

 

Ursula: Oh…

 

Jaffar: Ever since Nergal came we've become a laughing stock.

 

Ursula: Lord Nergal.

 

Jaffar: Screw it. I'm thinking of quitting anywho.

 

Ursula: NOOO!!! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE TO ROT!!!!! *clings*

 

Jaffar: O_o *claws his way out of her grasp and runs off*

~-~-~