Flame Of Recca Fan Fiction ❯ What Matters Most ❯ And It Happens Again ( Chapter 4 )

What Matters Most

Chapter 4: And It Happens Again

It was the end of school, and here I was pacing the school waiting for the time Recca would come home. When I was about to round a corner Shigeta stopped me.

"Koganei," he said, "about what you said a few days ago… You were just joking, right?"

I looked at him and I smiled, "Of course I was!"

We both laughed and he said, "You've got a sense of humor there, Koganei! I never would have thought it of you!"

Typical.

"Anyways, it's getting late. Wanna go home with me?"

I thought about it, "Sorry. I've still got minutes to spare before Recca arrives."

"Oh, alright then," he said as he ran towards the exit, "See you tomorrow, Koganei!"

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, too!" I waved.

Shigeta. With his soft brown hair and his amber eyes, who wouldn't want to be his friend? When he first came to school and displayed his ability to do almost any sport, all the 'populars' came for him. They crowded around him at lunch, talking to him and, as most people say, turning him into one of 'them'. Some people even warned him afterwards to stay away from that particular group. Thankfully, he followed those advices. But still, there are times when 'they' can't just help but eat or work or team up with him at gym class. Sometimes, Shigeta can be just too kind for his own good. But then again, what's wrong with 'them' eating with him? Sigh… People can be so weird sometimes.

I started walking home feeling very stupid. Why had I answered him? Why did I tell about my family? I should've just told him that I had been an orphan until Recca adopted me? Well, I think that's stupid, too. What's more stupid is the fact that I told him that my family isn't dead. Technically, that is true. But for me, it's otherwise. It doesn't matter anyways; my family thinks I'm dead, too. The truth is, they try to think that I don't and didn't exist at all. And if anyone did find out, I don't think anyone would be interested in me to go that far or to find out. Sigh…

"Koganei! I thought I told you to go home early!" I snapped from my thoughts and focused my attention to the voice.

"Koganei!" It was Recca. Did he? Did he tell me to go home early?

I don't think so.

"No, you didn't!"

"Yes, I did!"

"No, you did not!"

"Yes, I did!"

"Stop it, both of you!" I flinched. Kagerou was shouting. And you never want her shouting.

"Yes, I did!" Recca triumphantly said.

I was too fearful of my life that is, too fearful I might loose all my privileges, if shouted back.

Recca puffed at me when I entered the house.

"I told you to stop it! If you both won't calm down the neighbors will be disturbed! So stop shouting!"

"Look who's talking," I mumbled.

"Yeah," Recca agreed.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing… nothing," we both said.

"It had better be, because if it isn't I swear I gonna…"

The voice trailed off. I couldn't seem to focus on it. I stopped in my tracks, vaguely aware of what the voice was saying or happening around me. I clutched my head and leaned on the wall for support. My head was throbbing painfully now. Not the usual giddiness I feel every so often after the time when I was dressing up. I expected it to be gone just as fast, but it didn't. It kept on hurting. My vision started to blur and I couldn't stay focused. I didn't want all of them concerned on my problems. I didn't want anyone to think I can't handle myself. I didn't want them to think I'm weak. 'Be strong, Kaoru. Weakness only ensures failure in life. Only the strong are respected. Only the strong endure. Survival of the fittest. The Law of Nature.' (AN: Sound familiar? If you don't know where that came from…) If father is right, I don't want anyone to know of this.

"I-I'll just drop my bag in my room, ok? Be back in a while!" I said hurriedly.

I ran to my room, thanking silently no one saw me in this condition. I reached for the door, opened it and stumbled.

I was gasping for air when I finally settled in. I dropped my bag and prayed. Prayed that the throbbing would end.

* * * * *

(3rd person point of view…)

"Where's Koganei?"

"He said he'd just drop his bag or something," shrugged Recca.

"Oh. But it's 6:30! Isn't he hungry yet?"

"Dunno," Recca said and seeing his mothers apprehensive look he added, "Don't worry about Koganei. He can take care of himself."

"But still…"

Recca looked at his mother. "Dad!" he shouted, "time for dinner!"

"I'm coming!"

"Mom…"

"Recca sometimes I just can't help but to feel sorry for Koganei. He's so young and filled with life and I don't want to see him so down and lost. It worries me if he doesn't eat properly and--,"

"Mom, don't worry too much about Koganei. He's old enough to be independent."

"But I can't help myself. Sometimes I think of him as a son…"

"You're forgetting something."

"What's that?"

"That I am your son, or have you forgotten?"

"Recca, I know that you're my son. But sometimes when a mother meets a child like Kaoru, one who doesn't have a family or a home, she just can't help but want to comfort him, tell him that everything's going to be all right."

"So you're telling me that he needs a mother more than I?"

"Recca--,"

"You're telling me that Koganei, who isn't your son, needs you more than I do? That I'm not worth your worry. That I don't need you anymore," shouted Recca.

"Recca, let me explain…"

"Explain? I'll explain it to you! For years you hadn't bee with me! For years you've never acted like my proper mother! For years I've craved for a mother who'll love and take care of me! And now that you're finally here, you're telling me that you're worried that Koganei won't eat dinner? It isn't fair!"

"Recca please… I was only. I… I'm sorry. I didn't know…" (AN: I'm getting TOO cheesy, aren't I?)

"Mom, if you're going to act this way…. then I quit being your son!" (AN: Too cheesy! Too clichéd! Forgive me!)

"Recca…"

"So if you do love me mom, please, stop doing this. You're my mother and my mother alone. I don't want anyone to take you away from me, alright? So please… Please stop doing this."

Recca moved towards his mother, arms wide in embrace, "Recca…" Kagerou whispered, "I'm sorry. I won't over do it next time. From now on, you're my son and no one else will. Not even Koganei. Ever."

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

Both Recca and Kagerou pulled apart instantly.

"Nothing dad, nothing!" Recca laughed nervously

"Ara, where's Koganei? I thought I saw him coming down a while ago."

"He'll come down sooner or later."

And come down Koganei did do. He went down just in time to witness the scene of Recca shouting, of Kagerou agreeing.

He shrugged, "Who would want a mother anyways?"

He waited a few more minutes before eating with the rest, completely decided that he'll never tell Recca what was happening to him, or anyone else for that matter. He'd just have to be strong. He'd have to be independent. For Recca and for himself.