Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ A Fine Line ❯ roku ( Chapter 6 )

WARNING! This story is rated R/NC-17! It has yaoi lemon content! If you are under 17 and/or do not know what yaoi is, or what a lemon is, don't read it! You have been warned, please do not come crying to me or go leaving bad reviews because you read it anyway and are shocked or corrupted. Thank you. :-)

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. I wonder if she knows that obsessed fans do weird things to her characters.... The lyrics are from "What Do You Need?" and belong to The Goo Goo Dolls. Any products mentioned belong to their rightful owners and stuff, I'm not making any profit and this isn't advertising... yeah.

Note: I'm baaack! No, I didn't fall off the face of the planet (it's impossible, you know, gravity and all). ^_^ I've just been very, very busy with work and school (two jobs and full-time college is enough to zap all free time, and then what I do have I spend catching up on sleep so I don't die of exhaustion). Updates will probably continue to be slow, but not nearly as slow as this one. I won't ever abandon the story, it will be finished! I did a very quick edit on this, so please excuse anything I missed. It's not NIN again, hehe, and I think the feel of the song fits the chapter. Big thanks this time around to YTR, Elf, and Crash for their help and encouragement! And thanks also to everyone who reviewed, of course. ^_^

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*
What do you need from me tonight?
I feel you look right through me now
*

I awake to find Yuki sitting on the edge of my bed. I don't know how long he's been there, so I'm pretending to sleep. I want to see what he'll do and I don't know what to say to him. Maybe he'll get bored and leave.

It's hard not to move or laugh or look at him or do something when I can feel his eyes on me. My mind drifts to strange things like... is there a scientific explanation for why I can feel him looking at me as much as I'd be able to feel him touching me? Or how about an explanation for how it makes me feel? Or what he's doing here? Damn, science is useless.

'What time is it?' I wonder as I will myself not to move. Was he with Haru all night? I don't want to think about what Yuki could have been doing with Haru all night. Does Yuki want to talk to me? Just watch me sleep? Is this the first time he's come here or has he watched me sleep before? I don't like the thought of him watching me like that without my knowledge, like he's a stalker or something. It's creepy.

I can't take this, for a hundred things are going through my mind. I give up and open my eyes to see what the hell he wants from me... and I see him looking at me, but he doesn't seem to notice that I've not only opened my eyes, I've also sat up. 'The Prince has left the building....' I groan inwardly at the lameness of my own joke.

"Don't just sit there like a zombie, dumb-ass. I'm trying to sleep." I say, though it lacks conviction... again. Why can't I insult him with feeling like I used to?

I watch as his eyes focus on me and he looks a little startled. "We need to talk," he whispers.

I look over at my clock. "At one in the morning?" I ask softly.

"Yes."

I sigh. "So talk."

"I..." he starts. I wait patiently. He doesn't say anything more.

"You do have a reason for being here, other than giving me the creeps, don't you?" I ask.

"Yes."

"And that would be..." I prod, losing my patience.

"You know," he says, "you're not making this any easier."

"Well maybe if I knew what 'this' was, I could try to be more accommodating," I reply sarcastically.

"An apology," he says. The rat is apologizing to me, and of his own accord? That's certainly a first. Is it a game, a trick... or is it genuine? I don't know how to react. Hell, I don't know how to react to anything he says or does anymore. I'm so confused and I hate it.

When I don't say anything, he continues. "I shouldn't have brought Haru into this and I'm sorry. It's just... I didn't expect you to date Tohru and I... I guess I didn't think."

Something about his tone of voice or the look on his face tells me that he's being sincere. He's also being very candid, which I never expected from him. Something about it makes me want to be just as candid. Wait... why is he apologizing for going out with Haru? He's allowed. He must think I was hurt, which is preposterous. Yes. No matter what I may have felt or thought, I could not actually be hurt by the fact that Yuki was throwing himself at Haru.

"I don't care if you go out with Haru, you don't have to apologize," I tell him.

"I saw your face, Kyo," he says.

"I was surprised."

He just looks at me, and I grow uncomfortable under his scrutiny. 'You're lying. You're just as bad as him,' the little voice in the back of my head says.

"I didn't like seeing you with Tohru," he admits in a barely-audible whisper, and I stare at him in shock.

*
I can't pretend it's all right
Maybe we'll find a way somehow
Why do we need to turn it on?
Why does it always feel so wrong?
*

He just admitted that he didn't like seeing me with Tohru. What exactly does that mean, though? That he was jealous? That I'm his toy and therefore need to ask permission? Or is there... more? What exactly are we?

We're second-cousins, housemates, classmates, rivals, Sohmas... lovers... but are we more? I don't know if I want more. I'm so confused. Until recently, I thought I was straight, I thought I was in love with Tohru, I thought I hated Yuki, I thought I knew what I wanted... and now....

Can we be more? I know I'm attracted to him and I suppose he's attracted to me, but we're both guys and it still seems weird. Wouldn't we end up killing each other when the hormones wore off? There's only a short time until graduation and then we're off to different schools... I would never see him....

What the HELL AM I THINKING?! I am NOT upset that I won't be seeing him, I am ESCTATIC!

I... see him sitting there, looking at me expectantly and waiting for me to say something... he's so beautiful in the dark like this... I'm upset. I want to tell him something that'll take the sad look off his face, but I can't pretend everything's okay. I can talk to him, though.

"It wasn't like that," I say finally.

"You asked her out, she got dressed up, you held her hand and stared at her breasts... but it wasn't like that?" He says, and I get the distinct impression that he wants to hit me, which is at once nothing new and completely fresh. Usually I'm the one picking the fight. Although... really... he does have a point so that's not exactly what he's doing.

I decide that right now, honesty is the best policy. "I meant it as a date at first, but then... and it was only because I needed an answer."

"An answer..." he trails off.

I can't help it, I can feel myself blushing. "I just needed to figure something out, that's all."

"So did you?"

"Yes." Please let it go, Yuki! Don't make me tell you.

"So what did you figure out?" he asks, and I sigh. He just couldn't let it go.

*
What do you need from me tonight?
The truth is so complicated now
*

I look at him and... there's no way I could tell him. 'Not with words, at least,' the little voice says. 'What am I to do, then, pull him into my arms and fuck him senseless?' I ask myself. 'Sounds good to me,' is the reply.

In a quick motion I grab the back of Yuki's neck and pull his lips to mine. He makes a little squeak in surprise and I take the opportunity to push my tongue between his lips. I dig my hands into his hair as I explore his mouth and slowly turn us, lowering his head to the pillow.

I position myself on top of him and begin to rock my hips into his, feeling myself harden with every movement. He moves as if to wrap his arms and legs around me, but I stop him, straddling him and catching his wrists. I bring his wrists to the pillow on either side of his head and release his lips, moving to whisper in his ear.

"Is that enough of an answer for you?"

"No, I need more," he says. Somehow, I hadn't expected that reply, but I certainly don't mind giving it to him.

I release his wrists and begin to unbutton his shirt, sliding down his body as I do so. I kiss the newly exposed flesh in the wake of my fingers' movements. When I get to his waistband, I spread his shirt wide and trail my tongue teasingly south along his stomach. I run my hand along the bulge in his pants, feeling the length of him before unbuttoning and unzipping them. Then I kiss, lick, and nip my way back up his body, stopping to twirl my tongue around his small nipple for a moment before moving up to whisper in his ear again.

"How about now?"

"No, I need...."

"What do you need?" I ask, expecting the answer to be something like 'your mouth' and wanting to hear him say it.

"To feel you," he says, and I blush because even though he didn't really say it, I know exactly what it is he wants to feel and I'm....

... Not having any coherent thoughts as he begins to kiss me... deeply, passionately, slowly. He must have rolled us over so softly that I didn't notice the movement because the next thing I know, my head is on the pillow and he's above me, tugging at my shirt. I lift off the bed enough to allow it to be removed.

He begins to lean back in for a kiss but I stop him by putting my hands on his chest. I let them linger there for a moment, reveling in the feeling of his soft skin against my rough palms. Feeling his nipples underneath my fingers, I give them a little squeeze causing him to moan softly, and then I move my hands away, up to his shoulders and down his arms, pushing his shirt off.

As I lay here under him, watching him lower his head back to mine as if in slow motion, I realize that I like the way he looks from this angle. I like the way he's looking at me, it makes me feel powerful and in control... like I have something that no-one else has. I don't know if that feeling is from him wanting what I have, or from me having him, and I don't really care. Maybe it's both.

His lips find mine and I kiss him with a passion I've never experienced. It's not urgent and demanding like before, it's... slow and beautiful. I don't think it's just me feeling it, either, I think it's both of us. As our tongues twine and I feel his bare chest against mine, I begin to feel more relaxed than I ever remember feeling. Something inside me... lets go.

I don't think about him being Yuki, or even being a guy. I don't think about gay or straight, or who's dominating who. I just feel.

I feel myself hard and throbbing in my pants. I feel him hard against my hip. I feel his skin underneath my arms as they're wrapped around him, holding him close. I feel his arms under my shoulders, lifting me a little, and his hands in my hair. I feel one of his thighs between mine and the weight of his body as I arch my hips towards him. I feel him shift, moving his other thigh between mine, but it's not enough so I bring my knees up to cradle his hips. I feel gravity pull him into the perfect position as he moans into my mouth.

"Yuki," I breathe involuntarily as his lips leave mine and begin suckling at my neck and his hips begin to move. I arch into him when he arches into me and the friction that's created is magnetic.

But I need to feel more.

I trail my hands down his sides, causing a little giggle and a squirm when my left hand passes a certain spot. He's ticklish? The Prince being ticklish is something I never imagined, he's always so reserved and hardly ever laughs. I grin like a devil as I move my hand back up and he giggles again. I move my hand back down, continuing my original objective... and he squirms again and bites my shoulder. Hard.

"Owww," I whisper.

"Serves you right," he says, then kisses the spot he bit, flicking his tongue over my skin.

I smile and continue my hands' journey, stopping when I reach the material of his already-opened pants. I give them a few little pushes, but from this angle I can't remove them. He takes the hint and moves into a kneeling position. I follow him, my hands never leaving his hips, and push the material down to his knees, boxers included. He sits and begins to take his clothes off the rest of the way, but I stop him.

"Let me," I say and get no objection.

I move off the bed and stand near it as I grab hold of his pants' ankles and pull, walking backwards until they're off and letting them fall to the floor. I walk back to him and run my hands from his hips to his boxers and down to his feet, taking his last piece of clothing with me and letting it, too, fall to the floor.

I stand still for a moment, drinking in the sight of Yuki sitting naked on my bed in the dark. The world is a strange place sometimes, but I don't have time (or will) to ponder that as he moves forward and pushes me back against the far wall of my room. I feel something cold against my arm and realize that it's not the wall at all, it's the door.

He doesn't seem to notice as he opens my pants and begins to push them off.

"Oy... the door..." I whisper as softly as possible. Shigure's a light sleeper and I have the feeling that if he heard the door rattling... which it does as I step out of my pants and boxers... he would know something was going on. I don't want to think about having to explain... or worse, being caught!

"Relax, just move a little away from it," Yuki whispers, and I feel his breath against intimate areas of my body.

I do as he suggests and he smiles before taking me in his mouth. As he moves back and forth on my sensitive skin, my knees go weak and I find myself falling against the door with a too-loud-for-comfort 'thud'.

"Yuki... can't we... go back... to bed..." I manage to get out through the blinding pleasure his mouth is giving me.

He continues his ministrations for a few moments, running his teeth over me enough to make me want to scream with pleasure or pain... I can't decide which. Then suddenly he pulls back and stands up. He kisses me swiftly before taking my hand and leading me back to the bed.

He sits down and I move in between his thighs, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him gently. He moves more onto the bed and I follow. He lays back and I fall on top of him. I love the feeling of his naked body against mine. I feel... free.

He rolls us over again, but this time my head almost swims from the speed and force of the movement. "Kyo..." he whispers into my ear as he puts one knee between mine. "Let me feel you," he says as he moves to put his other knee between my legs. I understand what he's asking, and I understand that I can say no. I can allow that other knee or I can push it away.

I feel frightened and timid... neither of which are feelings I'm used to. I know he enjoyed it, but... I look down his body and see his arousal... I also know it'll hurt. I look back up to his face as he awaits my answer and my chest begins to feel heavy. I don't want to push his knee away and yet I'm afraid not to. If I let him... then that would mean... so many different things that I don't know if I'm ready for.

And yet... I want to know what it feels like and I want to feel him. I know what that says about me, and I've already admitted it to myself... and in a way, to him also. So why can't I make myself move?

"Kyo..." he says slowly in my ear, his voice so soft and sexy that it makes me shiver with pleasure. I never knew anyone could say my name like that... my heart speeds up. I would do anything to hear it again.

"Let me make you come so hard and so long, you'll think you're dying," he says in that same soft, slow, sexy voice and I at once burn and melt.

But I'm still unable to move. I'm afraid and I hate myself for it. I know I'll regret letting fear get the best of me like the 'scaredy cat' I've been called all too often, but have never been before. Since when do I let a little pain stop me? ... It's not the pain that's the problem, I realize. It's the uncertainty... will he act the same afterwards? Will it turn me into some weird, fruity nutcase and people will be able to tell just looking at me that I've had a... okay, I know that's silly. Will he have then gotten what he wanted and throw me away like yesterday's milk carton?

I don't know what this is that we have... this weird thing with confused emotions and raging hormones... but whatever it is... I... I kinda like it and I don't want it to stop.

"It's okay," he says so quietly that I barely hear it, and as I begin to feel him rolling us back over something inside me cries out. 'NO!' it screams at me, 'stop being the scaredy cat, shut up, and take what you want! Damn the consequences!'

I finally find the ability to move. Grabbing his shoulder, I roll onto my back, pull him on top of me, and wrap my legs around him. I smile a little at the surprised look on his face before closing my eyes and pressing my lips to his.

We begin to move our hips and this time, with no clothes, the feeling is indescribable. It feels like I've been hard for hours... I can't take much more of this. I'm aching with the need for release. "You better make good on your promise," I whisper to him, "now."

"We need... oh, wait..." he says and quickly removes himself from me. What the hell is he doing? If he leaves now, I'll kill him. And I'm... cold.

I watch as he picks up his pants, fishes in the pocket, frowns, and then searches the floor. I see him grin and pick something up before coming back. At the questioning look on my face, he says "found it" and shows me a small tube. Oh, I know what that's for. Good.

He's incredibly sexy as he crawls back on top of me. With the little tube still in one hand, he kisses me soundly for a minute before wrapping his other hand around my arousal. He strokes me, and I moan into his mouth and move my hand down to do the same to him. It's not long at all before we're both breathing heavily.

His mouth leaves mine and moves to my nipple. He flicks it with his tongue before sucking gently. I arch up into him and wrap my legs back around him, pulling his hips into mine. Damn it, Yuki, I need you!

He gets the message and leans back, removing the cap from the tube and putting a little of... whatever it is... in his hand. He rubs some first on himself, and then moves to put some on me. I tense at first... it's cold... but then all of a sudden it's not... it's warm and I feel myself relax.

He throws the tube and cap on my nightstand, not bothering to take the time to close it. He lowers his hips back to mine and positions himself. I wrap my legs around him and arch my hips for a better angle as he lowers his chest to mine. He kisses me briefly before saying ever-so-softly "It'll get better, I'm sorry," and beginning to enter.

It... hurts. It's not quite as bad as I thought it would be, though. I make myself relax, knowing it'll be worse if I tense up. He begins to kiss and nibble at my neck in just the right places. It's enough to have me making low sounds of pleasure in my throat, even through the pain and discomfort.

He's distracting me and it makes my chest feel heavy again. What's wrong with me? I realize that he's stopped moving, which must mean that we're now fully joined. No going back. I feel pressure, and it's a little uncomfortable, but it's not really pain. It feels full and stretched, but I'm relaxed. This isn't so bad.

He kisses me and I kiss him back as he begins to move. It's very, very slow at first. I gasp as it starts to feel a good, and then he moves a little faster. It starts to feel even better, so I try moving my hips a little. Oh, that feels good. I keep moving my hips in time with his. I can't describe the way it feels. Wonderful, pleasurable, exquisite... none of the words I know are adequate.

He continues slowly and I feel no need for him to speed up, but... I want more of him. I arch my hips more to see if I can get a better angle and tighten my legs around him in an effort to pull him farther into me. It works and I moan as I feel the whole length of him with every stroke. I forget everything... where we are, who else is in the house... I just feel him moving within me.

He leans harder onto my lower stomach, pressing my arousal between us as I had done to him, and captures my lips... maybe to help soften the noises I'm not thinking enough to stop. When he breaks the kiss, my breathing is so heavy I wonder if I'm ever going to catch my breath. I realize then that not all the noises are coming from me and somehow, that's very satisfying.

When he quickens his pace I feel myself swiftly nearing release and I begin to moan louder and louder... luckily my brain comes back enough for me to realize that I need to be quiet. I try to stop the moans and whisperings of random things like 'yes' and 'more,' but I can't. Feeling myself about to climax and needing to scream, I do the only thing I can: I pull the pillow from under my head and press it against my mouth.

It's a good thing I did, because a moment later my whole body jerks, the world spins, and I scream his name into the pillow... but the world doesn't stop spinning as it had before. It keeps spinning as I hear Yuki grunt before burying his face in the pillow and screaming his own release in the form of what I think is my name. Then, just as I think the world is going to right itself, I feel him twitch inside me and it starts spinning all over again.

After what feels like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, the world goes back to normal. I find Yuki collapsed on top of me, asleep. I push the hair away from his face and lightly kiss his forehead. I consider waking him so he can go to his room, but quickly reject that idea.

I very gently, and reluctantly, move him off of me. He's not that heavy, but if I slept like that all night I'd wake up with half my body asleep. I reach for the box of tissues I keep in my room and clean us up before pulling the covers over us, putting a casual arm on him, and falling asleep.

*
Fear makes you fragile darlin'
Hate is so heavy when you're weak
Now we're both lost in anger
When we're alone we'll find some peace
Why do we need to turn it on?
Why does it always seem so wrong?
*

I wake early in the morning, warm and rested after the best sleep ever. I begin my morning stretch to find an arm wrapped snug around me. What? Oh... Yuki... the night's events come flooding back.

"Ohayo," he says sleepily and I almost jump at the sound of his voice. I hadn't thought he was awake.

"Um, did I wake you?" I ask for lack of something else to say.

"No, I've been awake for a while."

I turn over. I want to see if he looks at me... differently. I want to confirm my fears, get it over with, because I assume the worst. I find that he is looking at me differently, but not in the way I thought he would. That's good... I think.

"C-can I ask you something?" he says softly.

"Uh... ok." What does he want to know? Please let it be something I can answer! His questions already got me into 'trouble' last night.

"Why did you let me...?" His cheeks turn a slight shade of pink and I feel my own warm in response.

Yep, I'm in trouble. Why did he have to ask that? I can't answer him. How do I avoid answering, though?

"Why did you start it?" I mean the whole thing, back on the roof.

The way he's looking at me changes into something I've seen before, but not on him and not directed at me. Where have I seen that look? ...Kakeru Manabe, yes that's it. Yuki's looking at me the way Manabe looks at him. Wouldn't that mean....

"Why?" I ask again, but this time with a different meaning. Perhaps it's a bad idea, but the need to know always gets the best of me.

He half smiles as he says, "It was something Akito said."

"Akito?!" I don't think I could be more surprised.

"Yes. He told me I had no right to feel good about myself, that I may be stronger than you in martial arts, but you will always be stronger than me in everything else."

I stare at him for a moment before growing wary. "Don't lie to me, Akito wouldn't say something like that."

"He did say it, though. He was very angry at the time, the worst rage I've ever seen, so I didn't think much of it. It got me thinking, though, and then when we moved in here... I realized that he was right."

I can't believe my ears. What exactly is Yuki saying? He's admitting that I'm stronger than him in 'everything else?' But what's 'everything else?' And Akito said something good about me... or was it just something bad about Yuki? I'm not going to fool myself, it was the latter. Still, something other than outright hostility directed towards me from the Sohma head is very surprising.

Before I figure out how to respond to Yuki's surprising revelation, my eyes fall on the small tube from last night. 'What is it?' I wonder, so I sit up and reach for it. It has the English letters 'KY' on it.

"What is this stuff?" I ask.

"Oh, that... uh... it's... lube," he answers as he sits up.

"Oh." Wait... he looked for it in his pants... why was he carrying it with him? I can feel anger begin to rise within me. Did he assume that he'd come apologize and then we would... that I would let him.... He saw Haru earlier... my eyes widen. Was it not even for me?! I look from the tube in my hand to Yuki and back to the tube. It's not full, in fact it's more than half used. Just what the hell is going on here? Have I been duped?

"Kyo? What's wrong?" he asks.

I look at him skeptically. "Where did you get this?"

He looks puzzled as he answers. "From Haru, it-" I don't let him finish. I don't need to hear any more.

"You bastard," I say, low and almost under my breath, my voice so filled with hatred that I barely recognize it.

"No, you have the wrong idea-" he starts, but I cut him off again.

"I have the wrong idea? I don't think even Haru would go around randomly giving out lube!"

"It wasn't random, it just wasn't-"

"It wasn't what? Haru wasn't enough so you came here for more?" I say bitterly, barely remembering to keep my voice down.

"No, Kyo, I-is that what you think of me? That I went off and slept with Haru and then came here and slept with you?"

"That does seem to fit the evidence! I should have known. I can't believe I was so stupid. I even thought..." I don't want to remember what I thought.

"You're wrong. We can't talk here... let's go somewhere we can be alone, to my base or something, and I'll explain."

"You mean you'll feed me more lies and try to seduce me again like last night? Just get out."

"What - you started it last night and you're the one who begged me for it, or have you forgotten?"

Shit. He's right. "Well you're the one who made me gay in the first place!"

He looks at me like I've lost my mind. And I have. "Well I'm flattered that you think I have that kind of power!"

"Get out!" I say and watch with satisfaction as he gathers his clothes. "I should have known better than to trust the rat."

"Yeah," he says after he throws his clothes on haphazardly, "well I should have known better than to fall in love with the fucking cat!"

And with that he storms out, almost slamming my door behind him.

Wait....

...What did he just say?

*
The truth is so complicated now
You feel so free to say
You're wrong, you're wrong
You're wrong, you're wrong
*

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