Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Where Your Shadow Falls- Part 3: Forever is a Long Time to Love ❯ White Static ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter 11: White Static

 

 

*************

“The voice of who I used to be

Is crying out: “Someone, someone, please!”

Please shine a light into the black

Wade through the depths and bring me back”

*************

-I Need You

By: Relient K

 

Dear Journal,

 

It has been eight months since I—Isuzu— was created…figuratively speaking. Eight months since Hatori erased Rin's memories and I was born, although it doesn't seem that way. It doesn't seem like eight months either. It seems like so much longer than that…years. Haru has decided that it would be best if we started living together, so that it might help me remember if I was around him a lot. Haru is a smart kid, so we studied together, and despite him being two years younger than me, we both tested out of the rest of high school. We've got our own apartment, and have started going to college together. Some of the family comes over sometimes to visit us. Mainly it's only Yuki and Shigure, because none of the others knew yet. My flashbacks are a constant stream of movie clips, and they often keep me up at night trying to sort out things.

Last night I had the longest flashback ever. Rin was about fifteen, I think. Or sixteen. Haru was around thirteen or fourteen. I think that's when things between them first began happening.

I'm starting to remember all the good things…and only a couple of the bad things. But no matter what memory I relive…Haru is there for all of it. And he's still here…trying to care for me, while trying to bring Rin back. It seems when Rin lost her memories, it created an entirely new person…me. I'm starting to remember some of the things Rin and Haru did when they were younger.

But I'm scared to remember. I would never tell Haru. He is so nice, and kind. His heart is so big; I don't know how he can keep smiling after what Rin did to him. From what I've heard from Haru, Rin was so flawed, it made him love her more. In my own head, I've pieced together my own image of Rin. She scares me a lot when I think of what kind of damage she could have inflicted on someone as kind as Haru.

In essence, I'm afraid to bring her back into the world. I don't know why. I keep trying to find an explanation for my fear, and the only thing that keeps popping up is…

Haru.

I don't want him to be hurt again. I don't know why I feel so strongly about him. It's probably because he's the one who helped me. He's the only one who was willing to tell me the truth instead of letting me live my life in ignorance. I'm glad he did, but still…I'm afraid to remember. Because I—my conscious; my essence—didn't exist until Rin lost her memories. I am Rin minus all her memories of the curse and Haru. Am I a better person than her, or am I her. Is she in my head somewhere, or am I what's left of her being.

It's at times like these that I cover my head with a pillow so Haru won't hear me scream. I wait until he goes out and I blast some music and scream all my frustration and anger and fear and confusion out.

Because I am so scared.

Because if Rin comes back…what will happen to me?

 

-Isuzu

 

What was bad? Where did I go wrong? Were things…beyond repair from the beginning? Should I have never been born?

NOK! NOK!

“Hey,” Haru said from the window, “You wanna go for a walk?”

 

“Haru? What is that quote about the roses again? The one you always say when we walk past here?” She said, fingering the silky petals of the red flower.

“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

“That's so romantic,” she sighed, plucking the rose from the stem and twirling around with it.

“I think the guy who wrote it was named Skateshear or something like that.”

“Oh, that guy. I think its Shakespeare though, Haru.”

“Yah, that's what I meant,” he said, still watching her twirling. She grabbed his hands suddenly, and started pulling him around in a circle.

“You're so funny, Haru!” She exclaimed. She clasped her hand harder around his, the rose gripped between them. “Ow!” She exclaimed suddenly, dropping his hands and the rose. She opened her palm, and red cuts were dashed across her palm.

“The rose cut you, Rin,” he said, his voice cautious and soft. She felt the pain shoot through her hand, and then the tears started to sting her eyes. “Oh, Rin, it'll be okay.” She felt strong arms wrap around her.

In the back of her mind, she felt embarrassed to be comforted by a fourteen year old…but it was Haru.

“H-Haru,” she stuttered, “it hurts.”
“I know,” he whispered, stroking her hair. He pulled back, and looked into her eyes. “Let me have a look at that hand.” She tentatively showed him her hand, and he took it, turning it from side to side. “Those thorns really got you didn't they?”

“Mhm,” she sniffed. To her surprise, Haru brought her hand up to his lips, and kissed it softly. “Haru?” His lips remained on her hand, his eyes closed.

“Yah?” He whispered.

“What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” he muttered, eyes still closed. Rin gasped as she felt a slow lick across the cuts, stinging the slightest bit.

“Haru! Why are you licking me?” She protested.

“Because I heard cuts heal faster if you get saliva on them.”

“That's not true,” she protested, but didn't yank her hand back as he took another slow lick. “What are you Dracula now?”

“If you want it to be like that,” Haru muttered.

“You know,” she said, glaring at him, “For a fourteen year old, you're pretty dirty.”

“You know you like it,” he teased. Rin continued to scowl but made no move to remove her hand from his grasp. The pain slowly receded as he made slow circles on her palm. She closed her eyes, letting the sensation wash over her. This was the first time anything like this had ever happened with Haru.

Isuzu could almost feel his lips on her hand.

Is that how Haru's lips feel? Haru could be so romantic…so sweet. Rin is such a lucky girl…to have someone like Haru.

“Oh, Haru…” she sighed.

 

“Isuzu?” She heard the door to the apartment open, and she opened my eyes.

“H-Haru?” Isuzu's voice was shaky.

Wow…that was the first time I've felt anything like that

“Where are you? I got some groceries.”

“I'm in the bedroom!” She called, picking up her discarded magazine, and flipping through it. She heard Haru set the groceries on the counter and walk to the door. He knocked two times.

“Are you decent?” He asked, always the gentleman. She smiled.

“Wouldn't you like to know,” she teased. She heard him sigh.

“Isuzu…”

“Yah, yah, I'm fully clothed,” she allowed as the door swung open. Haru strode in; the silver chains hanging from his black jeans clinked softly. Haru had kept the same clothing style, even after starting college.

Isuzu had felt a little insecure with Rin's wardrobe, so she'd gone with clothing that was a little more modest. But she still wore the blacks, reds, and purples that Rin usually wore. And although the outfits weren't as extreme as Rin's, they were still on a far end of the spectrum from normal attire. She felt…more secure when her clothes somewhat matched Haru's. It made her feel as if she had somewhere she belonged.

Haru came and sat on the side of the bed as Isuzu remained sprawled out horizontally.

“How are you doing?” Haru asked softly, laying his hand casually over hers. She had figured gestures like this were out of habit. He was more familiar with Rin's body than Isuzu was and he was used to being intimate with her. It had nothing to do with her—Isuzu—she'd reasoned. It was Rin he was trying to get back. Isuzu didn't mean as much to him, and she was fine with that.

“I'm okay. Better now that you're back. I get so bored when you're out.”

“Tell you what, next time we'll go shopping together, okay?” He asked.

“Sounds like a plan,” she agreed, laughing. Since she had noticed that Haru's face softened every time she smiled, she'd made a habit of smiling as often as possible.

“All right then,” he said, getting up, “how about we start dinner?”
“I'm right behind you.”

* * *

*************

“I'll leave the lights down low

So she knows

I mean business

And maybe we can talk this over

And you know very well

That I can't keep my hands to myself

Hands to myself”

*************

-Bike Scene

By: Taking Back Sunday

 

They sat at the table, slowly eating their instant Ramen. Dinner had been a disaster. Haru had bought things to make stir-fry, so they had started to attempt to make it. It turned out that neither of them knew exactly how to make stir-fry. In the end, the botched meal had been thrown out, the only sign to show it had ever happened was a small burn on the counter, one on the floor, and a large hole Isuzu's shirt.

After they had cleaned up, Haru had heated up two cups of Ramen, and Isuzu had gone to change her shirt. Dinner was quiet for the most part. Haru had caught Isuzu sneak glances at him between slurps of Ramen. Finally he spoke up.

“Isuzu, are you okay?” The abrupt words in the silence of the room caused Isuzu to choke on her latest gulp of Ramen and start coughing. “Isuzu? Isuzu!” Haru abruptly jumped up, flipping his chair backwards and rushing around the table.

“I—” she coughed, “I'm okay. Sorry.”

“All right,” he sighed, kneeling beside the table with a relieved expression. “Thank God.”

“Sorry I scared you like that,” she apologized.

“I'm just glad you're okay,” Haru said.

Because without you, there's no chance of Rin ever coming back, Haru thought. For the eight months since Rin had disappeared into the recesses of Isuzu's mind, he had been fascinated with Isuzu's behavior. It was like having the child Rin back. It was like being thrown back into the days filled with sunlight, and when being in love was as easy as breathing. But this wasn't Rin, and Rin was who he was in love with…right?

 

They had washed the dishes and watched some TV and were getting ready for bed. They each had separate rooms, so Haru was undressing in his own. He had his shirt off, and was unbuckling his belt when suddenly he heard a deafening crash and a high pitched scream from the other room.

“Isuzu?!” He shouted, sprinting to her room. He wrenched open the door to find the drywall of the ceiling had crashed down on the contents of the room. Bits of plaster floated, coating Isuzu's jet black hair like snow.

“H-Haru?” Her frightened eyes peered up at him from under the bed, on top of which the dresser had toppled. “I think I'm stuck.” Haru was next to her in an instant, kneeling down to grab the arm that stuck out from under the bed.

“I'll pull you out, it's okay.” He tugged on her arm, and she gasped. “What is it?” He asked.

“My hand. I think something cut it,” she barely whispered.

“It's okay. Shh. I'll get you out of there,” he reassured. He tugged gently, and then Isuzu wriggled out from under the bed. She was wearing nothing but a bra and biking shorts, but Haru had seen her in less than that…as Rin of course, but it was still the same body. Sure enough her hand was bleeding from a large cut on the palm.

“I-I think it was one of the mattress springs.” Her voice was shaky; like a candle in a breeze.

“Shh,” he said, pulling her to him, but keeping distance between them; he was still cursed, she wasn't. “Let's get you into my room,” he said, leading her out the door and into his bedroom.

“W-what about my room?” She asked.

“We'll deal with it tomorrow. You need to calm down. You're shaking,” he observed. “But first, let me look at that hand.” He took it, turning it from side to side.

“This…this is just like the time when you and Rin were in the rose garden,” she whispered. Haru froze.

“What?”

“A rose pricked her on the hand…and you started licking it.” Isuzu blushed. Haru remembered. That was what had almost started everything.

“Did you have a flash back?” He asked. She nodded. He looked down at her bleeding hand, and then up at her tear filled eyes; so venerable; so helpless.

Haru didn't know what made him do it. Maybe it was the dim lights in his room…maybe it was the loneliness in him. Maybe it was that it was Rin's body that Isuzu occupied. He didn't know. But something made him bring her palm up to his lips and slowly lick the blood from the cut. The coppery taste of her blood reminded him of that day by the roses. He closed his eyes and let the memory fill him up. He let his mouth move slowly across her hand, and then started to travel up her arm.

His tongue made slow circles on the pressure point at the inside of her elbow, and he let the taste of her fill his senses. He tasted up her arm further and reached her collar bone. Haru was too far gone to think about what he was doing. His mind was screaming: What are you doing! This isn't Rin! But his senses were saying: This is Rin. I remember this taste.

He drew at the soft skin there and heard her moan. There it was. The sound he hadn't heard in so long. The sound that meant he was giving her what she really needed: just a little love. And suddenly, there lips were together, and everything felt so sweet, and so, so right. The kiss deepened, and he felt one hand crawling up his chest. He felt another hand sliding through his hair; just the way he liked. He groaned into her mouth and she shivered. The red haze washed over him.

This isn't Rin, this isn't Rin a little part of his mind kept screaming.

But how could doing this with anyone but her feel so right? He asked. No response. He pulled back, and took her earlobe between his teeth. A little yelp of pleasure escaped from her lips as he did so. To his surprise, Isuzu suddenly took control, pushing him back against the wall, taking his occupation; tracing the lines of his ear with her tongue.

“Haru…” she whispered roughly, her voice low and filled with desire. “I think I'm in love with you.”

End of Chapter 11:

White Static

 

A/n: Muah ha ha. Hentai!!!! >_< doesn't every body love Hentai?

Haru: Oh yah. `Bout time I get some action!

Rin: *smacks Haru* what about me!!!

Haru: Ow…it is you!

Rin: No, it's Isuzu!

Me: He's got a point, you know.

Rin: Fine, I'll just go sulk while you and your little goody-two shoes girlfriend get it on

Me: ^_^u

(See ya next chapter! ^_^)

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