Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Whitewashed Anchor ❯ I love You, I'll Kill You ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Whitewashed Anchor

Chapter Title: I Love You, I'll Kill You

LJ Author: pikapicokitt

Theme: #1. Look Over Here

Fandom: Fruits Basket

Pairing: Akito x Yuki

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is property of its original creator; I can only be credited for the story idea. The song “I Love You, I'll Kill You” and the selected lyrics I've chosen from it are property of Enigma.

Spoiler warning ahead!!

 

~I see love, I can see passion~

 

Yuki's self-concerted sigh caused the papers before him to flutter a little. He could hear Tohru giggling in the background and what sounded like Kyo and Kisa laughing with her. Yuki had excluded himself on purpose; it was hard enough watching that adoring look in her eyes whenever Kyo was around, which was all the time. They both loved the airhead but it was obvious to at least himself who Tohru had chosen. Yuki had an odd knack for seeing things others were blind to. He dared a peek at the group when he passed by toward the kitchen, staring only for a second at Tohru's radiant smile. Her happiness made him heart sick.

 

~I feel danger, I feel obsession~

 

Delicate nails tapped languidly against the hardwood table. Akito was bored, a million different things running through her mind that brought no joy to her visage. She had the curse of a constantly active mind, one that never let her rest well because there was always a thought bustling through it. Akito stood, finding her legs were going numb from sitting too long. Overcoat draping awkwardly over her arms she padded down the hall in search of Hatori or Kureno. She came across Hatori first, the seahorse carrying his medical bag and Akito remembered she was due for her daily check-up. Turning back to her room she stepped inside, speaking over her shoulder. “When you are done here, call Shigure for me. Tell him it is imperative I speak with him in person.” Letting the folds of fabric hiding her skin fall, she continued the request. “And tell him to bring Yuki and Kyo, it's been a while since they've seen me”

 

~Don't play games with the ones who love you~

 

Hatori nodded simply, he wouldn't argue especially before he was due to administer her medicine by needle. If her wrath wasn't hard enough to deal with, when she was in pain you were preparing your death sentence by denying her. Hatori caught the grin on her face as she turned her head to the side, his eyebrow rising in silent question. She was either scheming something, or she'd grazed over a thought that amused her. It wouldn't surprise him if she had some ulterior motive for inviting `Gure and the boys over today. Akito was always playing with people like that, always toying with someone's emotions no matter how much pain it caused. She believed it was her given right to inflict the pain she felt within to some extent on others.

 

~Cause I hear a voice that says…~

 

Shigure sighed on the other end of the phone line; he was aggravated his relaxing day was to be ruined by a call from the head of the family. He could understand why she'd want to see him; he was not blind to her affections though he could pretend easily that he was indeed as clueless as he let on. Why she wanted to see the `children' was another matter. Shigure didn't like putting Kyo and Yuki in the position of dealing with Akito, as he knew how uncomfortable a situation involving them all was. Yuki was terrified of her for good reason; she'd beaten him senseless one to many times in the past. Kyo outright hated her as she always had some kind of snide remark or rude gesture to offer the already ridiculed cat. Would he risk Akito's wrath and neglect telling the boys about the meeting at all? He was silent for a long moment, causing Hatori to call his name several times over the line before `Gure spoke up. “We will see you soon, `Tori”

 

~I love you…I'll kill you~

 

Akito heard the phone click from the other room, the signal that the conversation was over and the boys were most likely on their way. She knew Shigure wouldn't refuse her, but she leaned her head against Hatori's shoulder, asking anyway. “And?” She felt his body stiffen at their touching, his eyes glazed with a dead unemotional sense as he spoke. “They will be here soon, you should get dressed accordingly” He stared down at Akito whose inner kimono was slipping down so that you could see her pale flesh. In this position he could not deny how much of a woman she was, however a woman was not needed in the upcoming meeting. Only Shigure knew her true form of the three and that was how things were to remain. Hatori feared the death that might occur if any of the younger Juunishi were to find out about her femininity. She loved all of her cursed family, at least she said she did, but he didn't hold it past her to commit murder if it meant keeping her secret.

 

~Loneliness, I feel loneliness…~

 

With a long drawn out sigh Akito returned to her room, picking out clothes that were more suiting. She sat down in front of the windowsill, frowning as her chest screamed from under its binds. She didn't wear the bandages that confined her chest when any of the older Juunishi were around as there was no point in hiding her womanhood around people who had known her since birth. However in front of the younger of the cursed family she didn't risk anything and always wore the bandages that had her chest screaming at her by the end of the day. Tying her kimono shut she took to staring out the window, the mid-fall air outside creeping in through the cracks. She barely noted the kiss of the draft, her mind already wandering in the obscene silence of her room. That quiet always made her feel alone, the fact no one was there unless forced sinking into her hating core. No one visited her of their own free will; it made Akito glad for her constant solitude, but also very terribly alone on days she wished for company.

~…In my room~

 

Akito was not sure how long she had sat there daydreaming, staring blankly out the window before Hatori showed up. When his hand pressed at her shoulder she roused, staring at him with dark half aware eyes. “They're here.” Akito nodded at Hatori's words, not bothering to move from her position. Normally they would gather in the meeting hall but she wasn't feeling at her best suddenly to walk there. “Send them here, I will speak to them here” Her face spoke no arguments so Hatori nodded and bowed his exit to retrieve them. Akito didn't have to wait long and she grinned at the sets of feet which entered her room; all of them had shown like expected. She turned to face them, leaning against the wall, holding herself up with her hands to the window frame. “I'm so glad to see you all. It is pleasing that you are not too busy with school or work to visit me”

 

~Look into the mirror of your soul~

 

Yuki shifted uncomfortably on the tatami rug, staring not at Akito, but through her. Kyo saw her, didn't look away, but his face was riddled with so much disdain Akito wished he too would not see her. Shigure was the only one who saw her out of those in the room now, and his eyes burnt with the desire to be anywhere but here. The “god” let out a long groan, sitting before them, circling her legs beneath her. “Such a sullen crowd I've so generously invited to my home. Take those distant looks from your faces or I will have to smack them off.” Folding her arms in her kimono sleeves she smirked when the three sat straighter, forcing their eyes to watch her each for their own reason. “What is it, exactly, you have called us here for, Akito?” Shigure was the first to speak, his arms copying her movements within his own sleeves. It was unconscious and yet such a mocking movement that they were both oblivious to.

 

~Love and hate are one in all~

 

“Why must I have a reason to begin with? You must listen to me, and come when I call, what more reason is there than that?” She tilted her head feigning confusion, as if she had some sort of honest feelings floating through her. To Shigure she looked pathetic, to the two younger males she looked innocent, a thought which caused Yuki to squirm a little. Akito and innocence should never be combined in one thought; such a pure emotion was unknown to that person. “Will you just answer him honestly?” Kyo spouted against better judgment of his brain. He usually knew better than to provoke Akito, but he was a little testy today and it showed in his stiff position sitting on the floor. His eyes widened when Akito was there, so close to him, so threatening without even doing anything. Akito was hovering over Kyo, face blank though the Juunishi gods stance spoke aggravation, one hand settled on her kimono-laden hip. “Are you defying me, Kyo? You dare show attitude to ME?”

 

~Sacrifice turns to revenge~

 

Yuki followed the lump that pushed down Kyo's throat as the cat swallowed. Kyo was not the only nervous one in the room, though he hated the cat, as it was in his nature he didn't like the thought of Kyo being abused by Akito. He figured that feeling came from the constant beating he had received as a child, the want for no one else to have to deal with Akito's wrath with a whip. Yuki wasn't aware he had been holding his breath until he let it out in one long huff when Akito backed off at Kyo's unresponsiveness. Akito must have caught his fear because as soon as the sadist's attention had wavered off Kyo Akito was right there in his face, breath smacking against his face. “Do you have some attitude to show me as well?” Yuki shook his head, opening his mouth, having to lick his lips a few times to moisten the chapped cracks before he spoke. “No, Akito-san…” He wanted to scream out yes, that yes! He wanted to pound Akito's face in with a mallet to bring some of that pain he had been put through back on the other. It was the first time Yuki had felt such rage toward Akito and it surprised him a little, bringing his mind to wander as Akito took her attention once more to Shigure.

 

~And believe me~

 

She immediately caught the distance in Shigure's eyes; the wish to be elsewhere and it enraged her. Of all people, if no one else in the world were to care, she wanted him to notice her. Wanted him to be sitting in front of her, willing to have her company for once, but his eyes were so far away, so cold. “Look here! Not somewhere else. Look over here, at me. I'm right in front of you, speaking to you, the least you can do is look at me!” Shigure noted that the angry lines on her face made her look old, stress was eating at her a bit harshly it seemed. He stared right back into her eyes, though the detachment never faded. “Yes, Akito, I see you” His voice was dull, un-amused, causing the boys to question the situation. “You are not!” She screamed, pulling at her hair before turning her back to him, striding to the other end of the room. She pointed an irate finger in Kyo and Yuki's direction, her visage suddenly calm despite the flood of anger that still boiled her alive. “You two may leave”

 

~You'll see the face who'll say…~

 

They didn't ask questions, nor did they ponder over the thought of why Shigure was not allowed to leave. The only thought running through Yuki and Kyo's mind was home; safe, sweet home where they didn't have to deal with Akito and her childish rage. “How dare you, how dare you look at me with such closed off eyes!” She hit Shigure in the shoulder blade after she'd shut the door. So much anger was welling up inside her, destroying her just a little more. Shigure must always care for her, just like Kureno but nothing like the released bird at all. She wanted Shigure to love her, more than anything, so that she could destroy him so he would allow no other to touch him again. When he did not speak she broke down, collapsing beside him and resting her head on his shoulder. “You're so mean,” She sighed, rage washing away to the familiar emptiness within her. “Why are you always so mean?”

 

~…I love you, I'll kill you~

 

“You make me this way.” His answer was cool and collected, his body unmoving even as her nails dug into his arm. “I make you this way? HOW do I make you so cruel?” Her voice had an appalled ring to it as she dug the teeth of her fingers against the back of his arm, smirking when he hissed at the sudden pain. “You are proving my point right now, Akito,” His words jarred her and she stared down at her fingers, retracting her claws and pushing up his sleeve to run her palms over the marks. She frowned, resting her cheek on his arm, acting as if it hadn't been her who had made such dents in his flesh. “But you make me so angry…do you not love me anymore?” Her frown grew when he didn't answer and she stood suddenly, stomping toward the garden so as not to hit him. “Leave, since you so want to. Get out of my sight, do not come back.” She stepped out onto the coloring grass, not bothering to look back as the mere sight of him irritated her now.

 

~But I'll love you forever~

 

Shigure let out a long broken sigh once he'd shut to door to her rooms, standing in the hallway. Perhaps he should have answered the question, however admitting his love was the improper thing to do; it would give her an advantage over him. He'd rather be cast home and wait for her anger to subside then be further used by the core of their family. She would calm in a few days and surely be calling for his company once more. No matter how much she came to despise him on days, she couldn't maintain her sanity without him, someone always there to defy her, keep her on her toes. He noted Hatori's displeased look as they crossed paths. He didn't mean to leave the doctor to deal with her wrath, though he smirked a little with the brutality Kureno would have to face. Sometimes he felt he could enjoy angering her if it meant indirectly striking Kureno. What a pathetic creature the rooster had turned out to be, and how jealous Shigure was that said bird received all of Akito's affection…what little there was within her.

 

 

~Loneliness…~

 

Akito collapsed on the grass, sighing as she felt the soft texture of its blades even through her garments. Her anger was already dispelling with no one there to yell at. She silently pondered what she should do now. Hatori had no reason to return to her and Kureno was off shopping on her request. His outside trips always took too long it seemed, she'd have to remember to correct this error of his. Staring at the dismal sky she played with a strand of her dark hair, chewing softly on the end in boredom. She flung the piece of hair to the side shortly after she had begun munching on it, the thought coming to her that she was most likely hungry. Sitting up too quickly she pressed her fingers to her temple, trying to push away the sudden swirling action her brain had fallen in to. Akito stood once her sight had returned, moving lazily back toward her room.

 

~I feel loneliness in my room~

 

Snapping at a maid to fetch her meal, Akito settled beside her small personal dining table. She blinked, watching a few birds fluttering about just outside her window. She suddenly felt rather caged, staring out through the crack in the door, watching the wildlife she could never be a part of playing. Her eyes slid shut, a scowl coming to her lips as she tossed such petty thoughts from her mind. She needed such pointless thoughts like she needed a set of earrings. Her mind wandered on that thought for a moment, fingers sliding along a earlobe as she pondered how a pair of gemmed earrings might look on her. She shook her head, her scowl deepening, what an absurd vision. She was supposed to be a male, have masculine thoughts, and manly wardrobe. Earrings didn't fit in that mix, unless one was gay, and that was not the idea to be set off. Akito sighed, slouching against the table as her petty thoughts consumed her. What she would give for a conversation with something other than her brain right now.