Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Playing House (Yes the title sucks...shut up Dx) ❯ Chapter One: The House with almost nothing in it ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Kat: Bwahaha, it all begins here, in a tiny house with no furniture in it!

Danielle: ^^ Enjoy the ride folks. Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy / Action | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 11.10.2007 | Updated On: 11.10.2007 | Pages: 6 | Words: 5.7K | Visits: 324 | Status: Work In Progress

Danielle: Kat and I are really excited to post up this fic and we hope you review. :)

Kat: Yeah! This is a very random, sugar infused fic, so if you hate random or if you just plain hate our style of writing….the exit door's to the left. ^_^

Disclaimer: Kat and Danielle DO NOT own any of the animes or characters (except themselves) inside this fic, they all belong to their respective owners.

Warnings:………You probably know how Kat (along with Danielle) writes humor fics, so you probably know the warnings by now. >_>;;;

Chapter One: The House with almost nothing in it (Besides a computer and two teen girls who shouldn't even be living on their own)

It was a quaint, whitewashed house, with pink rosebushes on either side of the walkway. A nice porch ran the whole length of the front of the house. In other words, it looked like the kind of house you would expect old people to live in… but of course, it was quite the opposite.

It was 333 Bluebird road. That was the address that a stalker would find if he were looking up how to find two teenage girls that were just a little bit zany. They were staying there, `cuz that's what authoresses do.

Danielle was standing outside, in dark blue jeans that were baggy around her ankles; she had stuffed the bottoms of them into her sneakers, which were white Nikes with a navy blue check mark that made them look as if they had been smudged with paint.

She walked down the walkway, opened up the mailbox, and retrieved the mail. She stared at the flag. It was up. Was it supposed to be? She had no idea. Stupid complexities of the UPS! But she placed her hand on it anyway… Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down! Up—oops.

“O.O” `said' Danielle as the small, plastic red flag came off in her hand. “Oops.” She looked both ways before opening up the mailbox and stuffing the flag inside.

“Yummy,” said the mailbox, in the voice of Big Bunny.(1) “Thank you.” Danielle smiled, patted the mailbox and headed back towards the door. When she reached for the knob, sifting through envelopes - most of which had infinitesimal significance - it swung open and hit her in the face. Stumbling back, she threw her hands up for balance, only to send all of the mail flying. It fluttered around her like billions of tax-deductible butterflies.

“What's in the mail today?” Kat inquired excitably. “Bills? Love-letters? Stuff? Magazines? A chipmunk?”

Danielle stood up and dusted off her pants, even though she had worn them for like, five days in a row. “Ooh, that last one would've been nice,” she lilted, smiling even though she had just been knocked over.

“It actually happened once. A chipmunk went into my mailbox.”

“Cool!” Danielle marveled.

“It attacked me.”

“Oh…” Danielle blinked once before declaring, “I always knew they were eeeeeevil!”

Danielle started making weird hissing noises until she totally forgot about the chipmunks and what they were talking about 4 seconds later. She looked at cat with one of those blank, innocent anime looks. -

“…What were we talking about?” she asked. Kat sweat dropped.

“Umm… no clue.”

“Oh. Did I tell ya I bought the Inuyasha movie and an uncut YGO DVD?” Danielle inquired. “Did I? Did I?”

“Calm down boy,” Kat coaxed.

“I'm not a dog. And if I was, I wouldn't be a boy. But you'd probably neuter me anyway… that's freaky.” Danielle shuddered. “Um… did I?”

Uhhh...nope.” Kat sweat dropped. “Which Inuyasha? The one where Inuyasha kisses Kagome?”

Danielle looked like this: ooV “I didn't? Who did I tell then? And, no, I think that's the second... I believe I bought the first... `Affections Touching Across Time' / `Love that Transcends Time' and all that.”

“Ah,” said Kat.

“Ah?”

“Just… `ah.'”

Danielle sweat dropped. “Be gentle, wise master,” she said in a voice that made it sound like she was quoting something - even though she was just saying random rubbish.

Five minutes later, Danielle and Kat were standing in a basically bare living room. Danielle's mother had always told her that the living room faces the street, so it was the living room. Not the family room or den. No arguments, people.

“…Muh kitty's purring on my lap,” Kat said. Danielle beamed.

“He's such a pretty kitty…” Yugi, who we just decided to mention was inside the house, eyed the cat with a chary brow, conspicuous bandages wrapped around his (Yugi's) legs… both of them, hindering his ability to walk.

Can anyone say: “Taken against his own free will?”

The cat yawned.

“Awwwww,” said Danielle.

The kitty was purring. So was Hiei, though we're not quite sure why. Yes, he was also always in the house…

ALWAYS….

“I think my kitty's sick,” Danielle was saying. “My mom claims he's been peeing everywhere... although I don't see any pee... although now I think I smell it because my mom's made me crazy.”

Kat sweat dropped. It was just like Danielle to share something like that… Of course, Yugi was purring as well. “My poor, poor Schuyler,” Danielle went on to say. “U.U Diet's can be such a pain, even for such a wonderful cat.” She stopped scratching Yugi under the chin, which put an end to his purring. Yugi then looked like he was about to cry.

Danielle suddenly looked waaaaaay too sparkly. She glomped him, basically jumping on him and making him hold her up like Shaggy holds up Scooby Doo. “I missed you!” She kissed him on the cheek and made him fall over.”

“Hiei's been boring all week!” Kat complained. “All he does is watch TV and eat sweets!” She pointed at Hiei. “COUCH POTATO!”

“ So how has Yugi been doing?” Danielle asked, completely ignoring the potential argument going on.

“Why don't you ask me?” asked Yugi in a muffled voice.

Danielle looked at him happily. “Quoi?” Yugi sweat dropped. Meanwhile, Kat and Hiei looked like the picture-perfect quarreling couple… which is probably an oxymoron that marriage counselors use. Is it? I don't know… I've never been married…

……Don't judge me.

“You're lazy!” Hiei grudged.

“You!”

“YOU!”

“Y-I want a snack.”

“So do I…”

“How w's Yugi?” Danielle asked again. She was having just a bit of trouble trying to get her friends' attention. “Hellloooooo?” She waved her arms around. “Remember me? And Yugi?”

“You're squishing me,” Yugi complained muffledly.

Danielle hesitated before saying, “...Whoooooom I just might decide to assail right now!”

“Attack his ribs,” Hiei and advised. Kat looked freaked. So did Yugi.

“I love you Yugers!” Danielle announced. She hopped delicately off of him, just like she could never do in real life without falling on her butt like Jill Valentine(2), leaned over, and planted a kiss on his forehead. “Smooth.”

“What's bellicose mean?” Yugi said with swirly eyes.

“War-like in nature,” Danielle explained. “It's a vocab word that I took a quiz over today. I think I got a 100! Woo!” She danced.

“That means you failed,” Yugi predicted.

“...Yugi, this is VOCAB. This is ME! A requisite for great writing is an exquisite and varied diction, ya know?”

“…Yeah, you're right, you probably did get a 100,” Yugi admitted, quietly adding, “Loser.”

“I get 80s… lots of them…”

“You missed the word `lucky' onna! `Lucky!'”

“Maybe I was just UNlucky!” Kat joked.

“You missed that word too.”

“Ooh,” Danielle said.

Yugi hissed, “Burn.”

“Shut up!” Kat screamed, balling her hands into fists and brandishing them. “You don't even go to my school! You're probably dumb as a rock...maybe I shouldn't have said that to a guy who is a killer demon.” Kat paled, deciding to turn around to run. But before that, something anti-dramatic happened.

“…Onna?” said Hiei. Kat gulped.

“Yes?”

“You do realize that even if you ran at full-speed, I could very easily catch up to you and squelch your guts right?”

“Yeah,” Kat said in a small voice.

“He's going easy on ya,” Danielle elucidated, as she massaged Yugi's shoulders. Yugi's shoulders had hit against the wooden floor… now there were dents.”

Kat gulped. Seeing as Danielle was obviously wrong - she had to be! She's Danielle! - she turned to Senko, their friend and loving companion who gets dragged into many crazy situations ending in someone going to the emergency room. “What do I do?” she pleaded.

“O.O When was I here?” Senko wondered.

“Hell I know! Now speak fool!”

Danielle held her head in her hand. “Bad floors, plot holes in the rafters… and no furniture in the living room except for the computer. Why, man, why?”

“Don't ask me,” advised Yugi.

“I wasn't going to.”

“-.- Fine, then. Be that way.”

“I love you,” Danielle said suddenly. Yugi rolled his eyes at her and gave her the cold shoulder.

“Good to know…” He was tackled.

“Noooooo Yugi don't hate me I love you so much!” Danielle was trembling and nearly crying and grabbing on to the front of Yugi's navy blue school uniform.

Hiei rolled his eyes at his (At least he THOUGHT Kat was his girlfriend) and Yugi's girlfriends' silliness. “...Kat, I'm not going to chase you. -.-' It wouldn't even be fun.”

“That's not what you said in Kindergarten!” Kat said. Hiei rolled his eyes again. “Plus, even though you won't kill me, I feel your anger burning inside you.”

“That's the indigestion I got from eating Yugi's tacos.”

“Hey!” Yugi protested. “They were perfectly good tacos!”

Danielle looked at her friend Kat. “Ano, Katto-chan ka?”

“Nani?” Kat was still looking at Hiei. …As always…

“HEY BABE!” Roger flew in front the rafters, which were housing a plot hole, and nearly glomped Kat. But, Danielle appeared steamed. Her quirky muse had gotten loose again.

“Roger, not now! Go read a book or something!” she shouted.

“Sorry…” Roger left quietly. Danielle felt like smacking herself.

“Can I use the curtain?” Hiei inquired curiously and, it should be mentioned, cutely.

Danielle sweat dropped. “Sure, knock yourself out.”

“No, I think I'll just use the curtain.” Hiei took a makeshift shower curtain and set it up around him. It was light blue. Kat turned to her friend, finally paying her some attention.

“Yes?” she asked innocently. TOO innocently. Danielle stared at her oddly.

“Kat, will you please—“

Water and singing was heard from the shower curtain, as a rich, tenor voice reverberated throughout the room. It caused Danielle to hesitate. “Um… What was I… Oh yeah! Kat, could you please tell me what my ADORABLE, CONGENIAL, ABSOLUTELY BELOVED YUGI has been doing while I was gone?”

“Suck up,” Yugi declared. He, by the way, was still getting his shoulders rubbed.

“It's working, isn't it?” Danielle grinned.

“Mmmm-hm!” Yugi replied happily. Danielle smiled.

Kat looked around nervously. “Uhhh……You won't get mad?”

Danielle narrowed her eyes. “Er… no…”

“Y…YUGI WAS WITH TEA! “

Yugi blushed. “TRAAAAAAAAAITOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” Yugi pointed accusingly at Kat. It was at that exact moment that the door blew off its hinges.

In a space rocket circling the Earth…

“What shall happen to Yugi?” wondered Mokuba, our narrator. Behind the shaggy-haired boy who desperately needed a hair cut and quite possibly a shower, Rebecca stuck her head out of a plot hole.

“Dun dun dun!” she said. They both smiled as they waited for the camera to turn off.

(1) Big Bunny - from a funny web site that we do not own or own the rights to so don't kill us -bows head in prayer-

(2) Jill Valentine - A girl in Resident Evil who falls on her butt a lot.