Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Full Metal Alchemist in a Nutshell ❯ -insert title here- ( Chapter 2 )

Hola amigos! Thanks for opening up the next chapter of Full Metal Alchemist in a Nutshell! Just to let you know, I wrote this in Spanish class while Mr. Garcia was blabbing on about ser and estar. I'm sacrificing my chances of being and excelente Spainard to bring the hilariousity and fabbyness of the nutshell. Ah, well. Sacre bleu, I need sleep.

Disclaimer: IdontownfullmetalalchemistsandallthesmexyandhotcharactersinitlikEdjoasfodvh sivodsh.

MUFFINS!!!!!

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” Cornello laughed insanely. He snapped his fingers. Men in black surrounded Ed with shiny light sabers.

“Father! Why are you doing this? He was a fellow prophet of the sun god!” Rose said. `Finally, I got a line'

“We're alchemists dumbass!!” Ed yells, magically obtaining a light saber, and battling the men in black.

“Shut up Fullmetal!” Cornello shouts. “Rose, come with me so I can bring back your darling.”

Al stands up. “You can't get rid of me so early in the show.” He said, his helmet laying on the floor.

“YEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!! WHERE IS YOUR BODY?!” Rose shrieks, pointing to Al like he's a tin-canned freak.(which he kinda is)

“Um, it's kinda complicated…” Al said, picking up his helmet and attaching it to his armor.

“YEEEEEK!! FATHER CORNELLO!!” Rose yells, running over to him.

“WAHAHA!!! I WIN!!” Cornello yells. “BOW DOWN TO ME PUNY MAN!”

Ed stops in his tracks of beating up men in dark shades and suits. He slowly turns to Cornello, his eyes red.

“Eep…uh, go my chimera that I have created with the Philosopher's Stone!”Cornello shouted, pointing his finger at Ed.

Suddenly, a half cat, half alligator chimera appears and pounces at Ed, tearing at his red jacket.

Ed kicks him in the face, sending him flying.

“WOOOO!!!!! YEAH!!! THAT'S SOOOO HOT!!!” The audience cheers, being restrained by heavily muscled men.

“Oh, snap!” Cornello said as Ed walked closer to him, grinning evily.

“Get ready to go to the darkest depths of hell!!!” Ed yells, clapping his hands together.

“Wait, I have the Philosopher's Stone! You couldn't hurt me if you tried!” Cornello yells, showing off the ring.

“Fine, I won't hurt you. Just give me the stone.” Ed said, holding out his hand.

“Noooooo!!!!” Cornello howled, “This is my precious!” Cornello cried, holding his precious close to him. “My sweet. My love. My preciousssss.” Cornello cooed softly to the ring. “No nasty hobbitses will take you from me. Gollum, Gollum.” Cornello croaked.

“Who the hell are you calling a hobbit?!” Ed yelled, not knowing what a hobbit was.

“How come I'm not getting any lines in this show?” Rose asked Al, who happens to be standing next to her.

Al shrugged. “You'll get more lines near the end of the show when some crazy rotton boobied woman tries to take over your body.” Al said.

“What, you can tell the future?” Rose asked.

“Nah, I just read the script.” Al replied.“Hey, you wanna go for some pizza?”

“No thanks. I'm on a diet.” Rose said.

“Anyway, you can't have it!” Cornello said, sticking his tongue out at Ed.

“Why you!”

“HAHAHAHA!!! FABEO! ATTACK MY PET!!” Cornello yelled, laughing maniacally.

Fabeo heard his master,s call and unlocked his cage. Stepping out, he flapped his wings and flew over to Cornello, pooping on his head.

Cornello wiped the bird poop off his head, then used the Stone to transform plain old Fabeo to Super-Fabeo!!

Super Fabeo dove for Ed, talons outstretched.

Ed clapped his hands, slamming them onto the ground. He transmuted a spear in a very show-offy style.

“WOOOOOO!!!! THAT WAS SO HOT!!! WE LOVE YOU EDWARD!!!!!” The audience shrieked, still being restrained.

“No one loves me?” Al said, close to tears in he could cry in an empty suit of armor.

“Who would love you, you overgrown fax machine?” Rose replied, patting Al on the shoulder.

“Thanks Rose.” Al said, for some reason feeling better.

Ed held his cool looking spear out. But Super-Fabeo was to strong! He broke the spear easily. ”Gasp!” Ed said. “Awwwwww.” The audience said, disappointed. Then Super-Fabeo grabbed Ed's left leg.

“AUGH!” Ed shouts, supposedly in pain.

“YEEEEEK!!!” Rose shouted, covering her eyes.

“WAHAHAHA!!!! FEEL MY WRATH!!” Cornello said, laughing evily and rubbing his hands together.

“Pysch!” Ed punched Super-Fabeo hard in the face, and he flew to the wall, cracking his head open, and landed in a heap on the floor.

“YAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!” The audience cheered.

“Fabeo! Noooooo!!!!” Cornello cried, running over to the bloody mess that used to be Fabeo. He knelt down beside him. “Why did he do this to you?! You were my only friend. FABEOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!” Cornello yelled, sobbing after the loss of his feathery, pooping friend.

“How pathetic.” Ed said, folding his arms together. “Well, time for my speech.”

“A speech?” Rose asked, looking at Ed questionally.

“Yup! I'm so totally prepared for this.” Ed said proudly.

“Cool, let's here it!” Rose said, pulling out a folded chair from nowhere and sitting on it.

“Okay.” Ed said, grabbing the tattered remains of his jacket sleeve. He began ripping it off, when it got stuck off a screw of his automail. `Oh, crap it's stuck.' Ed thought, tugging it even more. `Nooooo, I was so ready for my speech! Wait, I know, I'll just take the whole jacket off. That'll save money on buying another jacket anyway.' Ed slips off his jacket, clearing his throat for his speech.

“WOOOOOOO!!!!! YEAH!! YAAAAAY!!!!” The audience screeches.

“Wait, I have an idea!” Rose said, standing up and pulling out a pair of scissors. She cut up shreds in Ed's pant legs. “No, you have to take your pants to!” Rose said cheerfully.

“YEAH!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!” The audience yells.

Ed sighed. “You know what, just forget it.” `A whole day of writing down the perfect speech, ruined!'

“Wait a sec. You got automail!!” Cornello said, pointing to Ed's arm. “Hence the name Full Metal Alchemist! Full Metal limbs, I get it now!!!!” Cornello said, laughing. “You preformed human transmutation and paid the ultimate price!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's soooo funny!!” Cornello yelled, holding his sides.

“That's not funny at all.” Rose said, staring at Cornello like the old, fat, bird poop and moldy cheese smelling guy that he is.

“FOOLS!!!!!!” Cornello yelled, transmutating something behind his back. He pulled out a huge gun thingy.

“OH SNAP!!!!!!” Ed yelled.

“Oh snap is right! EAT THIS!!” Cornello yelled, shooting at Ed and cackling.

“EDWARD!!!!!” Rose shouted.

“NII-SAN!!” Al shouted also.

Rose looked at Al. “Shouldn't you be with your brother over there?”

“Oh snap, your right!” Al said, clanking over to the huge black cloud that Ed was in.

“No point, he's dead!” Cornello said cheerfully.

The smoke clears, and a wall barriacade had formed, shielding Ed.

“Oh good, your alright Nii-san. “ Al said relieved.

“Why do you care? Your pretty much useless in this episode.” Ed pointed out.

“Hey look! It's those jerks who are trying to destroy our religion!” Some rangom gut said. “Let's get them!” Another random guy said.

“Oh snap!” Ed raid, running off.

“Hah you fool! Only I have the exit, and its not gonna open it for you! Wahahaha!!!” Cornello said, laughing.

“If there's no exit, I'll make one!” Ed said, clapping his hands and making a door.

“Hey! That's unfair!” Cornello yelled.

“Remember, my show, my rules.”” Ed said, running outside with Al following close behind.

“I'm not getting any lines again” Rose thought, tearing.

“Don't just stand there you idiots! Go after them!” Cornello yelled.

“Father Cornello, is what they said true? Are you really using alchemy?” Rose asked Cornello.

“Yup, but I did what they couldn't. I brought back your darling.” Father Cornello said. Rose and Cornello are magically transported to a room. Strange opera-ish music fills the air as Rose sees a silhouette of some guy.

“Rose?” He says in a semi-cute deep voice.

“Kain! Your back!” Rose says, starting to walk toward the bed that `Kain' was in. She was stopped by Cornell's crusy, unmoisturized hand on her shoulder.

“Kain's soul has been resurrected thanks to our sun god Leto. His body should be complete in a few days, or so how it says in the subtitles.” Cornello says.

Rose nodded, then looked back at the bed. She noticed bird feathers on the floor.

Back to Ed and Al, who are outside.

“You know, you should have just taken the stone.” Al said, folding his arms.

“Whaddya mean? You were standing 2 feet away from the old geezer!” Ed said in a huff.

“Yo people of town. Some dudes just like, tried to kill Father Cornello. The nerve of some people. Anywhos, go attack the shorty and the guy in the armor.” The announcer guy says.

A huge crown forms around Ed and Al. “Its these guys all right.” Some heavily bearded guy said. “Theres the short outsider kid.”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FLEA AND PARCICIUM SUPER SIZED SHRIMP?!” Ed yelled in the bearded guy's face. “I DIDN'T SAY THAT!” He yelled back. “Anyway, you better not resist.” He said, holding up a broom.

“How dare you try and kill Father Cornello.” Some guy with a spatula said.

“A cute child like that tried to do that? How terrible!” A lady with a frying pan said.

“Religion sucks. You people are stupid for trying to spread you beliefs to others. His miracles are alchemy.” Ed said.

“Lies!!” Rose shouted.

The mob parts seeing Rose had magically flown there.

“I just talked to my boyfriend so HA! In your face!” Rose said.

“Has anyone even seen these resurrected people? I mean really!” Ed said.

“Silence!!!” Someone said.

Suddenly, statues of the sun god started moving. Everyone except Al and Ed were going “Ooooh.” And Ahhhhh.” About 10 statues surrounded Al and Ed.

“Oh, snap!”

One of the statues impaled Al and flung him on the ground. They started beating the crap out of him, if he had crap to beat out of him tat is.

“Al!” Ed yelled, and was hit very hard in the back of the head which I call a cheapshot. Ed fell to the ground, seeing Al being beaten to a pulp before losing consiousness.

Is this the end for the Elric brothers? Will we ever know what happened with Micheal Jackson? And what happened to Tommy and Ron from chapter 1? Why the h*ll am I asking you these questions? Find out in the next chapter!

And remember, everytime you don't review, Ed gets called short. So for the love of fangirls everywhere, please review!