Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Future Memories ❯ Lost ( Chapter 9 )

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Future Memories

 

Chapter Nine

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Lost

 

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As Trisha made her way down the stairs, she heard two high-pitched screams, a crash, then a long string of curses. She stopped and listened for almost a full minute to Ed and Edward yell back and forth, and smiled sadly. Despite his stubbornness and temper, Edward really was a good boy, and from the sound of it, he hadn't changed too much as in those areas as he'd gotten older.

 

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Trisha heard a deeper voice say, “I really don't understand how someone so small can make such a large mess, Fullmetal.”

 

This was followed by rants from both boys.

 

Her smile slipped slightly, thinking about the previous evening. How could she face them? Trisha still didn't approve of her son's relationship with that man, no matter what Ed said he felt. Teenagers fell in and out of love too easily for her to believe those feelings were concrete. That man should know that as well.

 

Besides… she hadn't missed the flicker of shock on the Colonel's face when Ed had mentioned `love'.

 

Sighing, Trisha continued toward the kitchen. She just didn't know what to think…

 

When the brunette woman reached the entrance of the kitchen she stopped in surprise. The two military men stood slightly in front and to the side of her towards the table. In the kitchen area were her two… three… sons. The two little boys were completely covered in flour, while only Ed's boots were white. A large mixing bowl lay on the floor, and flour was scattered everywhere.

 

Alphonse was standing on a chair near the stove, poking gingerly at something in the frying skillet with a fork; probably the bacon she smelled… The younger of her sons was watching Ed and Edward with a look of long suffering and slight embarrassment.

 

The two blond boys were both pointing a finger at the Colonel and raging about… something… she couldn't even catch the words with both of them speaking. It was cute to see the twin expressions on them. Despite the age difference their body language was the same…

 

“What is going on here?” Trisha yelled loudly to be heard over the commotion.

 

Instantly the two blonds stopped their ranting, stood up straight and said innocently, “Nothing.” For a moment, they stood like that, then Edward looked up at Ed, and Ed looked down at Edward with such a comical look of surprise that Trisha laughed.

 

It felt good to laugh after all the heavy thoughts and feelings she'd been having.

 

Instantly, Alphonse was off the chair and running toward her. The younger boy wrapped his flour covered arms around her and cried, “Are you okay now mommy?”

 

At that, her expression turned sad. She looked down and petted Alphonse's dusty hair. In another moment, Edward was holding onto her too. She knelt down and put her arms around the boys. “I'm okay now,” she lied. Nothing was okay right now, but her little ones didn't need to worry about that.

 

She pulled away from them and gazed at their worried faces. “Were you making breakfast for me?” That brought a smile to each of their faces and she hugged them again. “I am just the luckiest mom in the whole world.”

 

Edward pulled back and looked down at the floor. “We were going to make some pancakes…but we spilled the last of the flour…”

 

“Well, let's not worry about that. You did fry the bacon. Why don't I scramble up some eggs…”

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

“You called my son, `Fullmetal'…?” Trisha asked, breaking the silence at the table.

 

The Colonel looked at her in surprise. “Uh… yeah, I did.” His answer was short and to the point, but she supposed she didn't blame him given what had happened the night before. The man had been avoiding her gaze all morning.

 

“Why?”

 

“Well…” his voice trailed off as he cast a glance at the two little boys who were listening intently.

 

“Alright boys, go wash up,” Trisha said and there was a round of `aaaawwww mooooom', but in the end she got them to leave by promising them if they washed up now, she'd let them play outside instead of cleaning up the mess they'd made earlier.

 

“Every State Alchemist is given a second name. Mine is `Flame', Ed's is `Fullmetal'.” The Colonel explained after the boys had gone.

 

Fullmetal?

 

She didn't like it.

 

It just sounded too… hard… too harsh.

 

Trisha's eyes narrowed and she said, “Why `Fullmetal'?”

 

The older man looked quickly to Ed, then back to her. “I don't really think it's my place to explain that,” he said avoiding her gaze. The Colonel stood up and picked up his plate and headed toward the sink. “I'll let Ed tell you.”

 

She had tried to be civil to the two military men when her little ones were in the room, but now that they were gone, she said coldly, “Since the military is so helpful to the people, I'm sure the two of you won't mind cleaning up this mess?”

 

The two men looked at each other for a moment before the older one muttered, “Of course…”

 

She had almost wanted them to refuse so that she could vent some of her frustration. In a way, It was a bit unfair to have them clean it up, but she wanted… needed… to talk to her son. Besides, her bitter feelings toward the men helped her to not feel guilty about it.

 

Trisha turned her gaze to her teenage son as he idly poked at the remains of his breakfast. His eyes flitted up to her, then away.

 

She could understand.

 

She was nervous too…

 

“Sweetheart…” the brunette began, “I… I'm sorry about last night. Can we talk a little bit more?” She was sorry. Sorry for losing control of her emotions, but not for hitting the man; not for trying to protect her son…

 

“Okay...” he murmured unhappily.

 

Her gaze wandered to where the two men were cleaning up. They were going about it very slowly and very quietly. No doubt they both were interested in listening to this conversation. She debated on whether or not she and Ed should leave. Maybe go outside of a walk or something. In the end she decided to stay at the table. So what if the men were listening? If she needed to yell at them more at least they'd be within reach.

 

And it wasn't as if the older one didn't know what Ed was going to say anyway, right? At least she assumed the Colonel would know. Trisha supposed this was all unfair for the Major who hadn't done anything wrong… yet… but was still caught in the crossfire.

 

The brunette grabbed her cup and held it between her hands. It was easier to look at the cup than at him…

 

“How long have you been a State Alchemist?” she whispered nervously.

 

When he didn't answer immediately, Trisha glanced up to see him look at her in indecision. As if he wasn't sure if he should tell her, then he said, “I passed the tests a little bit after my twelfth birthday…”

 

“What!” she exclaimed loudly. She had been expecting maybe a year at the most but… “Since you were twelve?” It was hard to believe that the military would allow a fifteen year old in their ranks, but a twelve year old!

 

He nodded and scraped his fork against the plate.

 

“But… How did it happen? I mean…” she held back her tears with difficulty. “Why did they allow it? Why did I…” her voice trailed off when she thought of something from earlier. “Ed…” she said urgently. “What about Alphonse?”

 

The panicked look on his face made her heart drop. “What do you mean…?” he asked in an anxious whisper.

 

“He didn't join the military too, did he?” she forced herself to ask.

 

When relief washed over his features, Trisha didn't know whether to be relieved or worried.

 

“No, he didn't. He wanted to, but the Colonel talked him out of it.”

 

Trisha glanced at the older man then back to Ed. Well… at least that was something the man had done right… But that brought about a whole new set of questions. Why had the man introduced them to the military anyway? Why did he try to talk them out of it? Or… did he only try to talk Alphonse out of it? If so, then why not Edward?

 

“But not you?” she asked slowly.

 

He shook his head.

 

“Why?” she could hear her voice shaking and she swallowed, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible.

 

The teenager ran a gloved finger over the rim of the plate, and said, “I wanted to do it… I … I needed to do it.”

 

“But... why?” Trisha asked and couldn't keep the anguish from her voice.

 

“Because, I have to find something I lost…” he replied, his voice starting to shake.

 

“What? What did you lose that would be worth chaining yourself to the military?”

 

For a moment he kept his gaze on the plate, then slowly he lifted his head and looked at her with liquid golden eyes. When he spoke, Trisha could hear the anguish and pain in every word.

 

“I… I lost… mom… I lost…” he stopped, swallowed, and with a single tear rolling down his haunted face, he said in a trembling whisper, “I lost Al….”

 

Trisha just stared at him in silent unbelief.

 

Her skin felt cold and tingly.

 

He had lost Alphonse?

 

But… hadn't Ed just said he'd just seen his brother before being brought here?

 

She didn't know what to say. She felt stunned beyond words. Edward had lost his younger brother…

 

Then all the questions came crashing into her head like a tidal wave. She tried to grab a hold of them, but all the `hows' and `whys' and `whens' were like snowflakes that disappeared when she caught them.

 

Ed swallowed hard and when he spoke his voice cracked slightly. “Mom… please… please don't be mad…”

 

Mad?

 

Don't be mad?

 

She was too shocked to be mad.

 

“Edward…” she said shakily, then stopped. Trisha wanted to get this right; wanted to stay in control of her emotions. Not only for her sake, but for her son's as well. “I… I just… how? What happened? I… you said… you said that you'd just seen him before you came here…”

 

Trisha stopped and ran a hand over her burning eyes. She longed to cry, and her chest hurt with the pain of holding back. “I just don't know, Ed. I don't know what to ask, or where to begin.” A half sob, half laugh burst from her. “I don't even know if I want to know… but… I do. Please tell me.”

 

She let her hand drop from her eyes, and gazed into the golden orbs that silently pleaded with her not to make him tell.

 

“I want to know Ed. I want to know it all. Don't hold back.” Trisha sucked in her breath. It took everything she had to say it, but she continued, “Everything. Don't leave anything out.”

 

 

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Please don't kill me.

 

I know it's short. I'm sorry.

 

I could give the excuse that I'm super busy with school (which I am), but I'll admit that I just thought that was a great cliffhanger, and I liked that part for the end of the chapter. I have a long weekend this weekend so I should get the next chapter out sometime this weekend (that is if ya'll don't kill me first…)

 

On another note, it seems like there's a lot of interest in the drabbles ( mostly on fanfiction.net, but I'm still going to post them here) so I'm going to go ahead and do them. They'll be posted in the `X' section under `Future Memories Drabbles'. (I just realized when I posted the last chapter I didn't change `M' to `X' from when I posted this on fanfiction.net…)

 

Not all the drabbles will be lemons, and not all the lemons will be yaoi. I'll be putting what parings (if there are any) are in each drabble at the top. That way you can skip over any particular ones you don't want to read.

 

The first one will be posted at the same time as this chapter so anyone interested can find it and add it to whatever, if you want to receive updates.

 

Again, please don't kill me. Dead authors can't update.

 

Also, one last note. If you haven't received a review reply from me, please know I'm having some problems with mediaminer's `email' system. I wish I had your actual email addresses so I didn't have to go through mediaminer to reply to you. If you've reviewed this story or any of my others and it's been a day or two since then and you haven't heard from me, send me an email so that I can get those replies to you (unless you don't want a reply, in which case don't worry about it. )

 

Thanks

 

- Z