.

Warnings: Slash, Language and I think I'm going to have to add Angst to this chapter, things really aren't going well for poor Tasuki and even *I'm* starting to feel a bit bad for him. But he will get the monk in the end, I promise.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, Gundam Wing or Ranma ½, or any of the characters I've appropriated from them. I'm just having fun.

AN: Thanks so much to everyone who has commented! I really, really appreciate the encouragement and am glad you are enjoying the story so far. I hope you like this part as well; I'm not sure it's really up to standard.

I would like to briefly respond to Poole, who was kind enough to offer a criticism (thanks, no da!) but did not leave an email address so I could respond. It isn't my intention to make Chichiri (or Tasuki for that matter) into a hentai in this fic. The way I see it, if he's a healthy 27-year-old male he's going to be curious, right? I mean it's not like he can go rent porn in Ancient China, and it's not like he *planned* to walk in on Duo and Hiiro. I've tried to work this into Tasuki's thoughts as best I could, but if ya'all disagree with me I can remove or change that section…

To Sakata Ri Houjun: Thanks for the suggestion; I hope you're not disappointed with the answer. ^_^

And the chibi cuddle scene and last scene are dedicated to Moonraven, whose only complaint was that this chapter was too short. ^_~

Tasuki and the Hentai Monks

by Xellas M.

Chapter 3

Tasuki's first rush of excitement sent him more than halfway to Chichiri's room, determined to pounce on the older man and kiss him until they were both breathless. Unfortunately, cold rational thought caught up with the redhead before he reached his destination. Tasuki knew very well that Chichiri had never even been kissed; it was highly probable that the scene the monk had innocently stumbled upon in the storeroom was the closest he had ever been to any kind of sexual activity. Under those circumstances, Chichiri would have to be completely straight (or dead) for a scene like that to not have had an effect. That it had so completely captivated the older man was a positive sign, but if the bandit rushed things now, he might blow his chance (instead of blowing the mage).

Mentally, he made a note to flame Duo and his mysterious spiky haired lover for the last hentai thought. There wasn't much time left until lunch anyway. Better to return to his quarters and get ready. A successful bandit needed patience, and Tasuki was prepared to take his time. For awhile anyway.

* * * * *

"DA!!!!!!!!!" A high pitched battle cry was the fire seishi's only warning as he entered the dining hall and was immediately attacked by a cute blue-haired chibi. Tackled was actually a better term: the chibi, running full speed toward the bandit with its arms lifted, tripped over its own chubby legs right before it reached the smiling seishi. It pitched forward, completely out of control and landed against a warm, hard chest.

"Da…" It murmurred softly and began snuggling, but only for a half-second before it pulled away, its cute little face blushing bright red. (After all, no matter how many magical masks a chibi might wear, it is counter to the very nature of being a chibi for one to be able to hide a kawaii blush.)

*Pouf* A cloud of smoke appeared and the blushing chibi became a blushing Chichiri. "Gomen, no da…" He muttered weakly, and then sprang up to greet his friend. The mask took on an even broader grin than it normally wore and the blush disappeared. "Hi, Tasuki-kun no da! Sorry about this afternoon, no da." The apology came out in a rush and Tasuki understood that his friend was so wired out of sheer embarrassment. Chichiri barely took a breath before continuing.

"But Elder Happosai has asked if you would like to come and have lunch with us, no da. If you don't mind that is, he really does want to meet you na no da."

Tasuki's fanged grin almost split his face in two. Not only did he get to have lunch with Chichiri, but he wouldn't have to spend his meal glaring across the table at WuFei or putting up with Duo or Quatre's attempts to fix his love life! And the fire seishi was positively starving; for some reason, his appetite had not quite been up to normal the past couple meals.

He approached the long table at the head of the room and respectfully bowed when Chichiri brought him to a very small, wrinkled old man.

"Elder Happosai, no da, this is Tasuki."

Chichiri's introduction had been less formal than Tasuki had expected, but the redhead bowed deeply again nonetheless.

"Well, let's see you, my boy." More quickly than the fire seishi would have thought possible, the ugly old man hopped up out of his chair. He walked around the young man, eyeing him up and down and muttering under his breath. "Mmmm…not half bad…" he mused. "Reminds me of a red-headed girl I knew once, although she was actually a boy too, come to think of it…Coat's in the way, though." He had a strange, high-pitched voice that was almost a whistle.

Tasuki's face turned multiple shades of red when the little man suddenly whisked aside his coat and began pinching his bottom. His bandit reflexes kicked in automatically; his fist connected with a wrinkled old face with Suzaku-granted speed.

Almost immediately after, a second fist landed on top of the hentai old coot's head. To Tasuki's absolute surprise and sheer delight, it belonged to Chichiri.

"Behave yourself, na no da." Chichiri said to his Elder, his voice stern but amused.

"Oh, I'm sorry, lad. I didn't realize he was yours!" Happosai gave Chichiri a friendly pat on the back that caused the blue-haired seishi to lurch forward.

Yep, he was definitely Chichiri's, so the dirty old man damn well could go and find someone else to pester. To his horror, Tasuki realized he was actually nodding his agreement - and Chichiri was staring.

The expression on Chichiri's mask did not change. The mage gave himself a little shake and said "No, not mine, na no da. Tasuki has been like a little brother to me though, so play nice no da." The genki monk then practically bounced into his chair.

Ouch. A little brother? Tasuki sat down forlornly in the one remaining seat directly between his "big brother" and the wrinkled old Elder. It could be worse; at least he hadn't made an ass of himself by running after the monk like he'd wanted to earlier. And Tasuki definitely wasn't going to give up, even though it seemed he had his work cut out for him.

His mood didn't improve when he recognized the main course - fresh fish. Dutifully, he shoveled down as much of the stuff as he could stomach. Chewing was an effort and swallowing more so. When he had finished his third bite, he reached for his water only to brush his hand against Chichiri's. This made him look up, only to find that the monk had been waving his hand in front of the younger man's face, trying to get his attention for Suzaku-only-knew-how-long. Awareness of his surroundings clicked into place and the fire seishi was particularly disturbed to note a hand gently squeezing his knee, slowly working upwards.

"Tasuki-kun, no da? Hello?"

The bandit blinked. "Just a sec, 'Chiri." He quickly turned away from his friend to smack Happosai upside the head.

Things did not get any better as lunchtime dragged on. To the bandit's right, Chichiri kept trying to engage him in serious conversation, while on his left, the ecchi Elder was alternately trying to feel him up or asking questions like "So, my boy, have you ever tried on any women's underwear?"

After an excruciating eternity, the meal finally ended. Happosai darted off to do something monk-like somewhere (at least Tasuki *hoped* that was where he was going, although the redhead had his doubts). The fire seishi breathed a genuine sigh of relief when the Elder had finally gone.

"He's not so bad, no da, once you get to know him." Chichiri said apologetically as the seishi left the dining hall.

"Not so bad? I just spent the past hour bein' groped under the table! I honestly don't know how ya survived it here, training and all that." Even more, Tasuki wondered how his beautiful friend had kept his virginity intact but there were some things even HE was too smart to say out loud.

"I was freshly scarred and suicidal when I came here. They took me in, taught me how to live with myself after what I had done. They helped me develop my magic and taught me the basic skills I would need as one of Suzaku's seven."

OK…Tasuki now felt like a complete and total jerk. When was he going to learn to think before opening his mouth?

"It's alright, no da. I think he just acts that way to keep people from being nervous around him. He does know when to quit, no da…unless…" The mask looked suddenly thoughtful.

"Unless?" Tasuki prompted.

"Well, no da, unless you're looking for a MUCH older boyfriend, na no da!" Chichiri exclaimed triumphantly.

"CHICHIRI!!!" Not that having an older boyfriend was in itself a bad idea, but…

"I would never want to get in the way of True Love, no da."

"That does it!" Laughing, the younger seishi pounced on his elder. A mock battle ensued. A cloud hid the activities of the pair, only the occasional curse word and shout of "DA!" escaping. When the dust settled, Tasuki emerged the victor. He straddled the mage, pinning the squirming blue-haired man's arms firmly above his head.

When the monk gave up and finally stopped struggling, things suddenly became extremely awkward. All too aware of their position, the redhead looked down at his beloved's masked face. Chichiri's body felt so good beneath him, relaxed and yielding. The bandit licked lips that had suddenly become very dry and tried to nerve himself to speak, or to move, or to do anything…only he wasn't sure what his friend really wanted.

Before he reached any meaningful decision, the mage's body tensed and the mask turned away. But his voice was normal, cheerful even, as he said, "I have an idea, Tasuki-kun no da."

"H-hai?"

"If you want to see what the training here is like, no da, I believe several of the younger monks are out back practicing right now, no da."

"That sounds like fun." The redhead replied, confused. The signals the monk was sending him were so mixed that the young man wasn't sure if he could tell up from down anymore.

"Tasuki-kun no da?"

"Yeah?"

"Please get off me, no da. You're really heavy, na no da!"

Reluctantly, the bandit did as he was told. He'd had about all the rejection he could handle for one day.

* * * * *

On the way to the outdoor training grounds, Chichiri pointed out a few items of local interest. The strangest of these were two hot springs, side by side. One was roped off with a carved warning sign displaying the name "Spring of Drowned Donkey".

The monk explained. "Very tragic story, no da. A young donkey drowned in that spring 11 years ago, no da. Now it's said that anyone who falls in that spring takes on the body of a donkey, na no da."

The bandit simply nodded as though this made perfect sense. In this place, it actually did. "That's a shame, though, it'd be nice to take a dip, eh?"

"Oh, nothing to worry about there, Tasuki, no da. You see, right after the donkey died another spring suddenly formed right next to the first. That one's perfectly safe, no da." The monk paused thoughtfully. "At least until something else dies, na no da. There's a lot of raw magic in the earth and water around here, no da. It's said that wishes especially, no da, have a strange way of coming true." An odd tone had crept into the mage's voice during the last statement.

"Hn." The redhead replied. He desperately wondered what Chichiri had meant by that, but the pair had finally reached what had to be the training grounds and it wasn't the time or the place to ask. The practice area was nothing more than a large circle of bare earth upon which several young men were practicing martial arts moves. He stole a glance at his companion's mask and sighed. Whatever the history or magic of this place, it was probably no match for the strength of Chichiri's personality - the chances of Tasuki's wish ever coming true were practically nil.

To distract himself from his thoughts, he watched the training intently. The only person Tasuki recognized was WuFei. His mood did not improve when he was reluctantly forced to admit, at least to himself, that the jerk was actually pretty good. With perfect form and exquisite grace, the dark-haired boy executed a series of incredibly complicated moves. When he finished, he stood and bowed, not even a single shiny black hair out of place.

"Beautiful form." Chichiri breathed in open admiration. "Hard to believe he's only been at it for a couple of years, no da."

"Bullshit." Tasuki replied bluntly. Couldn't Chichiri see what a jerk that guy was? "He ain't all that good, and how the hell do you know how long he's been practicing?"

"Happosai told me, no da. He's their star pupil just now. It seems he lost his wife in the war because he was unable to protect her." The monk's voice grew quiet and serious as he continued. "Apparently he's taken it very hard."

Any softening the bandit might have felt toward the young boy abruptly vanished when WuFei removed his outer robe to begin sparring with a much older student. The redhead did not miss the sharp intake of breath Chichiri took when the teenager's sculpted torso was revealed. WuFei's body was nothing but lean, perfect muscle sliding beneath taut, bronzed, young skin. There was a predatory grace to the black-eyed boy's movements that reminded one of a large hunting cat. Compared to the young monk, Tasuki suddenly felt big and clumsy. Everything about WuFei was refined, slender, and elegant…like Chichiri. It was Tasuki who was out of place here, like the little brother he had been called - and an obnoxious one at that.

A quick bow and the mock battle commenced. It looked to be more of a dance than a fight at first, the combatants circling around with light movements, testing each other's defenses. Ultimately, it was Tasuki's competition who broke the stalemate. WuFei launched an impressive attack, wooden sword striking everywhere all at once.

It was over quickly

"He is amazing, no da." Chichiri commented as the winner politely helped his opponent to his feet.

"I don't see what's so special 'bout him." The redhead grumbled. "Not with that attitude anyway."

"Tasuki, no da, what is your problem with him?"

OK, it was a reasonable question…but there wasn't a chance in hell Tasuki was going to answer it. At least not honestly.

"It's that attitude of his, like he's gotta be perfect an' everything. Hell, he ain't nothing. I could take him. Maybe I should!"

"Ano, I don't think that's such a good idea, no da." The mage answered with the voice he reserved for pointing out the bandit's even-more-flawed-than-usual plans.

"All that dancin' around an' stuff is fine, but it ain't gonna do him any good in a *real* fight. Maybe I should teach him a little lesson…" The thought of fighting that arrogant little snot so gratified the redhead that he was almost beyond any hope of calming.

"Tasuki - " Chichiri began anyway, but it was too late. WuFei had noticed their arrival and was headed directly for them.

* * * * *

"Hello, Tasuki-san. Glad you could make it. And it is an honor to meet you, Chichiri-sama." The dark-haired boy's manners were impeccable as he bowed to the pair, but there was a gleam in his eyes that the redhead distrusted.

"Chiri, this is WuFei." The bandit made the introduction, his golden eyes never leaving his rival.

"Nice to meet you, no da. I've heard a lot about you, but you're even better than I'd expected, no da."

The young monk blushed becomingly. "I'm sure it's nothing compared to what you and Tasuki-san can do."

Tasuki nodded agreement, but did not relax. He was sure WuFei was up to something.

"In fact, I would be honored if you would join our practice. I am certain there is much to be learned from warriors like yourselves."

"I'm not really a fighter, no da…and I don't think - "

"Accepted!" The redhead fairly crowed. Finally, the black-haired pervert was going to get what was coming to him.

All the other students and their teacher fell back as Tasuki and WuFei slowly made their way to the center of the practice area. They stood for a moment, glaring at each other in silence until the young monk broke the spell.

"No weapons, no seishi powers. Just a fair fight, if you even know what that is." There was a smirk on the dark-haired boy's face that begged to be removed…forcibly.

Tasuki didn't bother to reply. He shrugged out of his large overcoat and tossed it aside. "Anytime you're ready."

WuFei merely bowed gracefully in response. The bandit returned the gesture somewhat awkwardly. The fight had officially begun.

It didn't last long. The monk went on the offensive immediately, his movements an impressive blur, punches striking with almost perfect precision. If they had been any more perfect, in fact, they probably would have hurt.

But they didn't have a chance to cause any damage. The bandit lashed out, a single, well-aimed kick that slid right past the dark-haired boy's defenses, striking his knee with a very nasty crunching sound. WuFei crumpled, cursing loudly.

Tasuki snorted. That had been a little *too* easy. He held out a hand to help his opponent up and was surprised when all he received in response was an absolutely livid glare.

"What?" The fire seishi asked, honestly perplexed. WuFei hadn't seemed the type to be such a sore loser.

"You dishonorable - " The monk never had a chance to finish the thought because at that moment several students, their teacher, and Chichiri all crowded around the pair.

"Are you alright, no da?' The well seishi asked, breathlessly, as he crouched down next to the injured boy and began carefully testing his leg for injuries.

"I am fine." The young monk replied through gritted teeth.

It was at this point that the bandit noticed the dirty looks he was receiving from many of the students.

He swallowed. "Did I do somethin' wrong?"

Chichiri sighed in exasperation. "This isn't a real fight, no da, and it isn't the place for yours' and Tamahome's style of brawling. The hit you made was illegal, no da. There was no way he would've been prepared to block it."

Well…shit. The redhead bowed deeply to his fallen opponent. "I'm really sorry. I didn't know. The fight's yours."

Another glare and a curt nod were his only reply.

Tasuki watched quietly, helpless to do anything else, as Chichiri helped the young monk stand. The blue-haired man threw the young monk's arm around the back of his neck in a too-familiar embrace as he carefully supported WuFei for the long walk back to the monastery. For someone as prideful as the black-eyed boy, he certainly seemed to be taking advantage of the situation, leaning into the mage's slender form much more closely than was strictly necessary.

When the pair were out of sight, the redhead sighed and began his own, very lonely walk back.

* * * * *

End Chapter 3