Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Born to Be My Baby ❯ Tremble in My Arms ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: �Sha�GojyoxCho�Hakkai� 
Set between Episode #22 and #23. Shounen ai between Gojyo and Hakkai. Please read and review.
Anime/Manga: Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / / Hentai / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.12.2003 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.5K | Visits: 930 | Status: Completed
Set between Episode #22 and #23. Shounen ai between Gojyo and Hakkai. Please read and review.
Anime/Manga: Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / / Hentai / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.12.2003 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.5K | Visits: 930 | Status: Completed
Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki
Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai
Rating: R for later chapters. PG-13 for now.
Category: Romance, Angst, Blood, Language
Notes: This fic takes place between episode #22 and #23. If anyone can find the name of episode #23 for me, please tell me, seeing as the subtitles are not much help. Especially in the second season. Also, please e-mail me if you spot any typos in here. I want this to be as perfect as possible. Aw, hell... e-mail me if you read it at all! Tell me what you think!
Dedication: This is for all of my friends... which I don't really have all that many. Faye Faye, Kira, Corain, Minion, Heather, Joanna. Yeah, some of them haven't even seen Saiyuki yet but, oh, well. Oh, and for Kazuya Minekura if I could at least TALK to her. *cries* Oh, I wish! And also for Enigma/O-sama the Llama. If I could write like you I would have my whole life ahead of me. I'm sure I'm not as old as you either, though. Ha ha. I love all of you Saiyuki fics sooooooo much! I highly recommend them to you if you are the legal age to read the NC-17 fic: "Happy Birthday, Baby" on mediaminer.org. which means don't read it unless you are 17! (Damn it, I'm a hipocrit in that situation! >.<) "Iron Chef - Saiyuki Style" I laughed myself stupid on! I loved it! It was so funny! And "Fateful Encounters" I'm sure had hard work and determination put into it. Yays! Okay, enough blab. On with the fic!
__________________________________________________________________ ________________
Part First (1/?)
Trembling.
He's trembling. He can't sleep. What to do? It's too dark to see. Then why can I see him? And only him... Shaking. He won't stop. He's lying in bed, trembling and shaking and gasping for air and I know that he cannot be sleeping. His quaking form sends shivers up my spine and I want to shut my eyes but fo fear that he will not be in the bed across from mine. I want to hold him and confort him... but I fear that from all of the shaking, once I touch him he'd crumble to pieces. Suddenly, he gasps as if choking and he sits straight up, his hands on either side of him near his hips and his posture irregularly poor. He's gasping for air and places a hand to his neck while his breathing steadies and the sleep is wiped from his eyes with the other hand.
And then he notices that I'm wide awake, watching him, looking to him in the dead of night. I remember reading that people with eye problems see much easier in the dark than people with 20/20 vision [1]. He is able to see me easily through the darkness; the mist that settles between us is almost instant - a mist that inquires all the unnessissary questions. All of them, I have no answers. One question. I only have the answer to... only one question. One.
That inquizitve mist comes from him. That green - eyed human - turned - youkai that rises from his bed nearly every night with a nightmare. I love him. Love him so much. But to see him wake suddenly and look as if he might cry. I guess he was sleeping after all...
"Gojyo...," he instantly mouths without a vocal note uttered. His hair is ruffled from tosses and turns from his previous slumbering state and his eyes scan the room until they fall upon me, lying half - naked over the covers of my bed. My arm is under my head that lies nonchalantly upon the firm matress while my other hand grazes the hard wood floor of the hotel room. And without a word, I summon up my strength from every inch of myself and force my aching body up off of the bed. It's that terrible feeling like waking up to leave for school, that terrible prison where you sit on your ass for seven hours and do jack squat, but you only got four hours. But for the man across from me, the discomforts that spread throughout me and envelope me the water in a pool folds around a diver, they are nothing. I'd do anything for that man and he knows how much I care for him.
I abruptly notice just how heavy my footsteps are and quiet and slow my pace to that of a feather soft wrap against the waxed mahogany. I climb into bed next to him and wrap my arms around his wiry frame. He's still shaking. I'm worried, of course. He's the only one that has ever seen me as compassionate as this. I love him. Like I said earlier, I love him. Months before present day, the line of friendship between us was blurred so badly that it disappeared and we found ourselves...
...in love.
Hakkai lets his hands to travel up the other man's naked back as he sighs and immediately falls into his lover's embrace. His relaxed state is returned but as soon as the other is atop the green - eyed man, he begins to tremble more.
"You're burning up...," Gojyo murmurs into the brunette's ear gently. He presses his soft pink lips to Hakkai's forehead tenderly and then locks their eyes, their very glances hold a loving embrace as the half - breed cups the other's cheek in one hand. "Are you alright, baby?"
Hakkai nods and buries his face in the crook of Gojyo's neck, pulling him closer and attempting to calm his frazzled state of unsturdy nerves. The red - haired man then noticed the cold sweat that had settled over the moist skin of his love.
"Hakkai...," Gojyo utters before pulling himself gently from Hakkai's grasp.
"Oh, Gojyo...," Hakkai groans as he feels the warmness of his lover leave his grasp.
Silently, stealthly, Gojyo stands and towers over the pale figure in the bed. His heart races as he suddenly witnesses the one he loves so dear grasp his chest desperately, in one swift move. His fingertips are buried in the peachish flesh but no pain subsides and no piercing of the skin takes place. Hakkai runs his hand down Gojyo's chest and stops at the button of his pants.
"Hakkai?"
Snap.
The button is undone.
"Hakkai?"
The zipper.
"Hakkai!" Gojyo grasps Hakkai by the shoulders and shakes him violently. What in the world was he doing? What came over him so suddenly? He was still a virgin! So what motivated him to do such things as he had done just now? "Hakkai!" Another shout. Hakkai collapses onto the bed, his eyes set in horor, it seemed. He looked as if he had just suffered a sever blow, gasping for air as his hand is clutched to his on chest, the fabric turning and wrinkling to fit his fingers. His breathing becomes heavier than ever and his case of the shivers is now a case of the jolts...
"Ugh....,"
Now what?
"I...."
What do I do!?
"He--"
I....Hakkai, I....
Gojyo's thoughts raced as his lover lay their gasping for air, appearing to suffocate.
What's wrong with him?
"Help...," Gojyo heard himself whisper. His voice began with a murmur, inaudible, but he knew that. He could not yell right away. The shock and sheer horor that struck him - seeing Hakkai lying their helpless, the cause of which signed as Anonymous. "Help," louder now. Like crashing into the rocks of the sea, a hurricane pushed him. "Help!" Louder. You have to yell louder, Gojyo. Up against the rock during the storm. The waves pushed him past the small shards of broken shell and sandrock on the beachy ground. "Help!" Yes, louder. No one could hear him if he was that quiet. The rock - ...he heard a bone aching with weight; too much weight. I creaked as the final tidal wave was cascaded over his battered and bruised body.
Crack...
Dear God...
Snap...
Oh, Lord...
"Somebody help me!"
Louder...
The scenery outside was painted, melting like a deformed watercolor dipped in a pool of H2O. Melting. It ran down the window panes, twisting the scenery as the rain molded it to its liking.
"What's the matter with him?" A demanding voice stammered, requiring an answer from the doctor before he passed out from the sickness of worry.
"You know how people do strange things in their sleep," the doctor began, his handsome features twisting in concern as he spoke to the red - haired man before him. "This was sort of a sleep - walking incident."
"But his eyes were open!"
"They can be. He was still dreaming. The shock of you waking him up forced him into an alarmed state...," he paused. "He coughed so hard, he broke two of his ribs..."
Hakkai lay in the bed nearest the window, his eyes closed in an attempted state of slumber, a haven from escaping the pain in his chest, the ache in his heart, and the painful remenisces of his past that the springtime air brought with the rainy days. Behind him were four or five humongous fluffy white pillows, propping him up at an almost forty - five degree angle. Across his chest were layers of alabaster bandages, compressing and realining the cracked ribs to the point of perfect healing. Although sleep skillfully eluded him, his thoughts came in torents:
Ringing... I remember stating back then...
"Hakkai?" Gojyo inquired as he stepped through the door, which had been sent slightly ajar to allow the half - breed enough room to let himself in.
...that the rain sounded like ringing....
"Yes?"
"...A--," he hesitated. "Are you alright?"
The red - haired man knelt beside the bed, letting one hand to rest over one of the other man's knees gently, giving a slight squeeze of encouragement.
"Yes... I'm fine," Hakkai smiled and put his hand over Gojyo's, patting it slightly but stopped as soon as he saw his lover bite his bottom lip, averting his eyes from the view locked between the two of them. "Gojyo--"
"Please, don't talk...," Gojyo stated softly, recieving a warm - hearted smile from the other before he sat up slightly, the covers shifting bit by bit to reveal the bandage fully. Hakkai leant forward slightly, ignoring the multiple doctors' orders to stay still, and, seizing Gojyo's hand from his and squeezing it between his own. Placing it to his cheek and leaning against it, he remarked,
"If you do not want me to speak...," he leant forward more, "allow me to show."
"I'd like nothing better, baby," Gojyo said as he stood slightly, caressing the other man as gently as possible, as if catching him from falling. Hakkai's hands travelled to Gojyo's back from over his shoulders, grabbing at the light purple shirt to steady himself before the one he loved so dear. Gojyo's arms supported the part of Hakkai that Hakkai could not as their chests pushed together, the brunette showing a sign of slight discomfort but something that he wanted Gojyo to ignore, for he knew what would come next - and he wanted it.
Gojyo tilted his head slightly and finally pressed their lips together, both of them closing their eyes, raptured in the moment. (Truth be told that there were not many times during the day that they were allowed to do anything, including kissing and touching.) Gojyo knew that him being there right then was a huge pick - me - up for Hakkai; factoring in the rain and the fact that he was bandaged in bed again with Gojyo at his side. One of the red - haired man's hands snaked its way up Hakkai's neck, resting at the back of his head to press him deeper into the kiss - an attempt to breech the flesh barrier that was Hakkai's lips. Sure enough, the half - breed was successful: the green - eyed man couldn't take much more and at last, he opened his mouth, letting Gojyo's tongue inside, travelling over the roof of his mouth and delicately re - exploring his lover.
It was amazing just how perfectly they fit together. Their bodies never showed any uneccissary friction and their lips were like two pieces to a puzzle - the finishing pieces; as if they were made to be together. [2]
Oh, Lord... Hakkai thought as Gojyo's slender fingers lightly stroked the back of his neck. I... Oh, Gojyo... I love you so much. But the sudden thought brought a chill over his spine and he remembered when he had said the exact same thing to his beloved sister. Guilt flooded over him as quick as a flock of crows fled from danger. He could remember how he felt when the suspicions arose that he may be falling in love again. He thought it was just a strong friendship, no attraction involved, right? He was afraid to fall in love again - for fear that something else could happen. Like the worst case of deja vu ever.
Abruptly, the memory came back to him: After Chin Iisou, bastard of Hell as he was, was at last defeated - after Gojyo had signed Goku's leg cast (with a manner of hilarious drawings and doodles), he took his seat next to Hakkai on the front hood of Jiipu.
"'You look like you've just lost your best friend,'" he remembered exactly what he had said.
And he remembered telling Gojyo that his life line was a little longer... but still awfully short. And when Goku came up behind him and used the marker to draw a longer line of his hand. And when Sanzo spanked him over the head with that paper fan. Then it dawned on him:
"'Oh, my! This is indiable ink, isn't it?'" he had asked.
"'Yep,'" was the reply that the gambler to his side gave him.
"'It will not come off, will it?'"
"'Nope,'" Gojyo smiled as he leaned in a bit closer and nearly whispered, "'Isn't it better this way?'"
Hakkai's face shown with a smile, something of which had meaning to it for a change, not as artificial as the others. He nodded.
Kanan... he thought. I'd like to go on living for a little longer.
Many people have heard others say that works of God occur when most needed, when most felt a feeling toward someone beyond life that was so strong it was like someone was right there with you. Although Hakkai did not draw attention, he could have sworn he saw Kanan next to him, smiling as she always did, the beautiful smile that he loved so dear; her dress flowing in the winds reminding him of a field of sunflowers. She laughed. She smiled. And she faded away once again.
He remembered how she looked when she was so happy. He remembered how cheerful she was that he had finally found a job. He remembered what she used to say about his hands - how much she loved them and how beautiful she thought them to be.
And here as he promised to love Kanan forever, he was kissing another person. But someone can love more that one person, right? Of course. But the guilt nearly made him want to sob.
Gojyo drew back suddenly, forcing their lips to part.
"G - Gojyo?"
Gojyo stood up, his figure shadowed by the oncoming dusk through the rainy ash - colored clouds and spoke, "I just came to check up on you." He offered a false smile. In all the times, all the years, that Hakkai had seen Gojyo smile, never would he have imagined that he would see a fake smile. He always had that grin on his face. He always enjoyed himself. He possessed that nonchalant attitude. But as Hakkai watched Gojyo walk to the doorway, he feared as if the kiss they had both just shared transfered something (more than his saliva) to the red - haired man. They always said you could tell how a person feels through kissing them. Maybe Gojyo felt his sadness and confusion...? "Hope you feel better, babe." The half - breed winked and walked out the door, gently closing it behind him.
A faint lightning bolt could be seen over the horizon; a small rumble of thunder that sounded like the faint roll of the tempany in a band arrangement followed.
True friendship was not measured by the time of aquaintance between two people. It was measured by the loyalty and trust that you put into the other person - that is, if you could measure friendship. But what of love? The most indescribable and confusing feeling in the world. No one can elude. No one can ignore. They give themselves up in he heat of it and later, many of them regret their decisions.
Hakkai remembered when the line of friendship between him and Gojyo had finally blurred into nothingness and transformed into love. It was after that terrible, brutal battle with Goku, after he had removed his limiter to fight against Kou Gaiji and Dokugakuji. [3]
//flashback//
Hakkai coughed from the pain in his chest as he lifted his friends from the ground and placed them gently into Jiipu, who doubted that he had enough energy to make it to the next town with the four of them. Gojyo and Goku were situated in the back, both of them sleeping from exhaustion from the fight. The brunette placed Sanzo into the passenger seat and stumbled to the other side of the vehicle, taking his spot in the driver's seat.
They had been driving across the vast desert for nearly thrity minutes now. The pain in Hakkai's chest subsided once more, pounding as if something were trying to break out of him. Hunched over the steering wheel, one of his hands placed solemnly onto the steering wheel, the other hand clenched over the cloth of his shirt. He coughed once more. The salty, desgusting taste of blood reached his mouth. He swallowed and gasped for air. Oh, no... he thought. I don't know if I will be able to make it to the next town... He coughed again. His eyelids were heavy. I must have ruptured some internal organs. I... can feel my eyes slipping shut. And sure enough, he was unable to keep his eyes open. They slipped shut and his hand fell from the steering wheel. He woke suddenly from his exhausted state when a hand from the back seat of the jeep was felt over his own. The hand placed his back onto the wheel and helped him to steer while he spoke,
"Let me drive... Hakkai," Gojyo commanded, his features softened with sleep.
"Please go back to sleep, Gojyo! You must have cracked some bones when I slammed into you!"
Gojyo shook his head and looked forward, over the horizon. The next village was far from view, for you could not see the small buildings and houses that usually dotted the land.
"Just... switch!" Gojyo said through gritted teeth as he held back a cough that was sure to come.
The green - eyed man nodded. "Okay...." He remembered right after the cave in further back into the desert - he had used all of his energy to protect Gojyo, Sanzo, and Goku from the multiple tons of sand and gravel that surely would have buried them all if he had not tried. Then, for reasons unknown to him at that time, Kou Gaiji had saved them from the cave in by using his Red Wind. [4]
It was after he had discovered that Hakuryu had been waiting there in the desert for them all that time. After he collapsed from the lack of energy.
"Hakkai! Quit tryin' to act so cool!" Gojyo demanded hurriedly, refering to when Gojyo had warned Hakkai of the danger of using his ki technique.
The green - eyed man ran a hand through his thick brown hair and threw a weary smile to the other man. "I'm sorry."
But once the apology was uttered, Gojyo turned away from him, and muttered, "You're just trying to make me miserable."
"G-...Gojyo..."
Yes, that arose his suspicions. Maybe he did love Gojyo. Did he? And if so, how? Why? But once Gojyo had demanded for him and Hakkai to switch spots in order for the healer to rest, Hakkai felt a strong burning sensation deep within his chest as he gently pushed the break pedal until Jiipu had stopped completely. Placing one hand on the back of his seat and the other still on the steering wheel, the brunette pushed himself out of the vehicle while Gojyo waited next to the driver's door. The human - turned - youkai was just out of the small jeep when the pain returned to his chest and a hand flew over his mouth to stifle the cough that followed. The sudden coughing fit was severe and filled with gasping and choking as Hakkai fell to his knees - or he would have... if the half - breed by his side had not caught him.
"Hakkai!" Gojyo exclaimed, one hand around Hakkai's waist and the other on one of his shoulders. "Are you alright!?"
Hakkai continued on with the severe coughing until finally, it died down to where he could talk, even though his tone was choked, "Y-yes. I'm fine. Thank... you, Gojyo."
The red - haired man's face was filled to the brim and overflowing with worry as his best friend put on another false smile. "Damn it! You really are making me miserable."
"H - how so?"
"How in the world can you smile when you know you're falling apart inside?"
"What?"
"You're injured....! And you know the situation that we're in! We may not even make it to the next town! We could die, Hakkai!"
"Gojyo...," Hakkai began. "Whenever I heard that... you know that I always think about Kanan and how I had asked about living a little longer. Well, there is no time like the present and... I am afraid to die." He paused. "But I understand that some people are. If you are then I'll do what I can to keep you alive. I hope you'll do the same for me...."
Gojyo stood speechless and completely unmoving. Finally, he nodded. He had no idea what to say. Hakkai never liked to talk about his beloved sister, Kanan, the love of his life - let alone bring her up by himself. It seemed as if putting him in the middle of a hungry pack of wolves and waiting for the result. But there always was the opportunit to sneak away when they were asleep. Yes, and Hakkai took that chance. He could avoid the pack.
"Hakkai, I...," Gojyo wanted to speak something comforting. He felt horrible causing Hakkai to talk about death and Kanan. "I'm not the type to worry too much about dying," was what he said next. He pulled himself from Hakkai, seeing as he had finally found his balance after the coughing fit. He turned his back to him and spread his arms out as he felt the swift desert wind. And as if framed in a painting, he said, "I miss my step - mother. You know that. I wanted her in the worst way." He dropped his arms after about a minute and turned to Hakkai, a smile upon his face and a glimmer in his eyes. "But I guess guys like us always tend toward the messy romances, yeah?"
Hakkai gave a light laugh, seeing as he understood and walked to Gojyo. "Yes, I suppose so."
"I mean," Gojyo laughed and continued, "I love my step - mom, you love your sister so much, Mr. Wordly Monk is a muderer," he paused. Hakkai shook his head.
"It's okay, Gojyo. I know what I've done. There's no way to avoid it is the conclusion that I have come to."
Gojyo continued, pretending that the subject flew over his head. "And the ape is a freaking glutton." [5] He laughed again. "Yep, we're pretty messed." He commented sarcastically.
"Gojyo, if we do not get to the next town soon, Sanzo might not last much longer," Hakkai spoke worriedly. [6]
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go," Gojyo said. He walked to the brunette and gave him a sturdy pat on the shoulder. Pointing to the back seat, he said, "Don't die on me back there."
Hakkai smiled and nodded.
Finally, all of them had reached a town, safe and sound, thanks to the little boy who had come across their nearly lifeless figures lying in the sand in the middle of the desert. Hakuryu had run out of energy and transformes from his jeep state back to being the adorable little ruby - eyed dragon. Gojyo, Hakkai, Sanzo, and Goku lay on the ground as well, unable to move until they were all brought back to the village that the boy lived in. The five were nursed back to health, not perfect, mind you, but at least they were alive.
It was just another morning in the village, full of aching pains, both muscle cramps and scarred flesh and tissue from the fight with Goku, and the Sanzo - ikkou didn't feel any different than when they had been attacked by the youkai teenager.
"Hey, ape," Sanzo commanded Goku's attention suddenly from the morning paper that the blond had been reading.
"Yeah?" Goku asked, planted on the chair across from him.
"Gimme a beer."
The golden - eyed teen nodded and sprang from his seat. Into the kitchen he ran and poped open the refrigerator, clanking around noisily for a can of beer for the monk at the table.
"Any day, now."
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Goku whined and handed the icy cold can to Sanzo. The feeling of the cold metal must have been as cold as Genjo Sanzo's heart. Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai all got to wonder once in a while, if not, all the time why Sanzo was always so cold and cruel to them.
"Hey...," Gojyo greeted, walking outside to a small table placed just outside the inn. Both hands were in his pockets and, as usual, he possessed that nonchalant attitude, if not visible then audible.
"Hello, Gojyo," Hakkai responded with a warm good morning smile to his friend. "Are you feeling better than before?"
The red - haired man laughed and sauntered to stand beside the other man. "Tch. Hardly."
"Sorry to hear."
That night...
~Gojyo~
Damn it. I can't get to sleep again. It's all because of the pain. Shit, why did that stupid ape have to hit so hard!? And he threw Hakkai at me. He threw him! Like a piece of trash. Hakkai is just about anything but a piece of trash, though. Yeah, he could do anything, he's so smart. Tch. He was a teacher. Hello, wake up. He's like... the perfect man. I mean, he's smart, funny, nice, handsome, attractive. Attractive? Where the hell did I get that? Aw, come on, don't fall apart. What am I thinking!? Attractive... I just called by best friend handsome and attractive. Well, he is. Damn, am I beating myself up over this!? If I don't stop, I could become bipolar. Ha ha. Shit. Bi. Yes, that is probably what I am. I'm bi; I have to come to terms with it that at some times, I picture Hakkai as a little more than a friend. Alright, all the time... and a lot more than a friend. Shit, what is a womanizing lady's man to do about that? Can you womanize a man? [7] And if so, I would like to know how. I'll go after Hakkai. I mean, I would if I could. And I will... but I won't... 'cause I can't... Gah. If I make a move on him, we'll both break to pieces. What the hell am I thinking? He wants to die to be with his sister and I want my step - mother. Here I go, tending toward another messy romance. First, my step - mom, and then my best friend. What the hell's wrong with me? Aah.... *grr...*
This can't be right... Maybe I should... tell him? Hell, no. Then what can I do? Well... I could... uh... tell him. Shit! This isn't working!
Gojyo pounded his pillow in sheer frustration as he threw his face into the fluffy thing and let out an exhasterated moan of confusion. "This sucks...," he mumbled, his comment muffled by the soft down feathers and cotton material. "This really.... sucks."
~Hakkai~
Okay... I have been shifting in my sleep for the past hour and a half and I would really like to know when my wounds are to heal entirely. I hate to say it but that medicine that they are giving us does not seem to be working very effectively. *sigh* Oh, well. The pain should go away eventually.
Or perhaps it is a different type of pain that I am suffering from? Could it be that that dusky night in Jiipu when Gojyo caught me and told me to switch places with him meant that we are a little more than comrades? He is my best friend and has, literally, saved my life. But when he told me to 'Just... switch!', that emotion that burned in his eyes looked so demanding and critical, but at the same time, concerned and determined. And I swear that I could have seen a different sign of him. Even though he is a lady's man, he acts like he really... likes me sometimes. And that time a few years ago when I first woke up, in his bed and him leaning over me, he was so close to me, he might have actually kissed me! Wait... I'm thinking about kissing my closest friend? Well... truth be told, I have thought about it before. But why? Does that mean I love him? I've never really thought about this kind of situation too hard before. This is new... Hm... Well, I will definetly have to think over this.
-End chapter #1
Author Notes:
[1] I was over at msn.com and once I sign in, it has a little window that'll pop up and tell me news and stuff. Well, a topic was "Why People are Afraid of the Dark". 'Course, I clicked on it. It turns out that people who wear contacts/glasses/monacles can see better in the dark without the correction to their eyes than people with perfect vision can see in the dark. Makes me feels special since I have glasses... the right lense doesn't stop popping out though...! *pushes it back in*
[2] Reason for the perfect fitting thing is that... well, unless those many websites are wrong about the manga, Kenren and Tenpou are married. Whooo! *throws arms up* *big smile*
[3] In the first season of Gensomaden Saiyuki - Episode #22. I am a big Kou Gaiji x Dokugakuji fan but
Gojyo x Hakkai comes first on my fanfic list. There is going to be a little shounen ai between Kou Gaiji and Dokugakuji much later, though!
[4] Yes, Red Wind. Also known as Aka Kaze. (Aka = Red; Kaze = Wind)
[5] Gluttony IS A SIN! I told that to Sam at school and he just stared at me and nearly dropped his crackers. He just ate lunch! And was eating MORE CRACKERS! I laughed so hard at his expression, though. My math teacher said, "Yes, I think he should share the crackers with the rest of the class!" Ha ha!
[6] Yeah. Remember that Sanzo is poisoned? Must help Sanzo. Must! Alright, I said worriedly. But I did not mean Sanzo x Hakkai way. I know how some people take it. Funny thing is that Enigma (my role - model author) actually talked about a Gojyo x Hakkai x Sanzo thing once. That was my first Saiyuki romance idea. For real! Of course, I had only read about it, then. Now it's Gojyo x Hakkai even though some of those images stick in my head. I don't really mind Sanzo x Hakkai or Gojyo x Sanzo but I don't want to write/hear/read about them. There will be NO 38/83 or 53/35 in this story. Only 58 and a few other couples that I will not spoil... 'cept for Kou Gaiji x Dokugakuji. *smiles*
[7] This question was querried upon me by my best friend, Kira. Her and Faye Faye, and I have been wondering that when we finally came to the conclusion that you can womanize a man. I am not sure how to spell womanize. Don't hurt me. We may be wrong about if you can or cannot but oh, well...
[8] No, you didn't miss an author note. I just want to say THANK YOU for reading my first chapter of my soon to be LONG story! THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is the first fanfic that I am putting up here so I appreciate that you have read it. Please review and tell me what you think! Please, I prefer not to be rated on this site. Thank you. THANK YOU!!!
Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai
Rating: R for later chapters. PG-13 for now.
Category: Romance, Angst, Blood, Language
Notes: This fic takes place between episode #22 and #23. If anyone can find the name of episode #23 for me, please tell me, seeing as the subtitles are not much help. Especially in the second season. Also, please e-mail me if you spot any typos in here. I want this to be as perfect as possible. Aw, hell... e-mail me if you read it at all! Tell me what you think!
Dedication: This is for all of my friends... which I don't really have all that many. Faye Faye, Kira, Corain, Minion, Heather, Joanna. Yeah, some of them haven't even seen Saiyuki yet but, oh, well. Oh, and for Kazuya Minekura if I could at least TALK to her. *cries* Oh, I wish! And also for Enigma/O-sama the Llama. If I could write like you I would have my whole life ahead of me. I'm sure I'm not as old as you either, though. Ha ha. I love all of you Saiyuki fics sooooooo much! I highly recommend them to you if you are the legal age to read the NC-17 fic: "Happy Birthday, Baby" on mediaminer.org. which means don't read it unless you are 17! (Damn it, I'm a hipocrit in that situation! >.<) "Iron Chef - Saiyuki Style" I laughed myself stupid on! I loved it! It was so funny! And "Fateful Encounters" I'm sure had hard work and determination put into it. Yays! Okay, enough blab. On with the fic!
__________________________________________________________________ ________________
Part First (1/?)
Trembling.
He's trembling. He can't sleep. What to do? It's too dark to see. Then why can I see him? And only him... Shaking. He won't stop. He's lying in bed, trembling and shaking and gasping for air and I know that he cannot be sleeping. His quaking form sends shivers up my spine and I want to shut my eyes but fo fear that he will not be in the bed across from mine. I want to hold him and confort him... but I fear that from all of the shaking, once I touch him he'd crumble to pieces. Suddenly, he gasps as if choking and he sits straight up, his hands on either side of him near his hips and his posture irregularly poor. He's gasping for air and places a hand to his neck while his breathing steadies and the sleep is wiped from his eyes with the other hand.
And then he notices that I'm wide awake, watching him, looking to him in the dead of night. I remember reading that people with eye problems see much easier in the dark than people with 20/20 vision [1]. He is able to see me easily through the darkness; the mist that settles between us is almost instant - a mist that inquires all the unnessissary questions. All of them, I have no answers. One question. I only have the answer to... only one question. One.
That inquizitve mist comes from him. That green - eyed human - turned - youkai that rises from his bed nearly every night with a nightmare. I love him. Love him so much. But to see him wake suddenly and look as if he might cry. I guess he was sleeping after all...
"Gojyo...," he instantly mouths without a vocal note uttered. His hair is ruffled from tosses and turns from his previous slumbering state and his eyes scan the room until they fall upon me, lying half - naked over the covers of my bed. My arm is under my head that lies nonchalantly upon the firm matress while my other hand grazes the hard wood floor of the hotel room. And without a word, I summon up my strength from every inch of myself and force my aching body up off of the bed. It's that terrible feeling like waking up to leave for school, that terrible prison where you sit on your ass for seven hours and do jack squat, but you only got four hours. But for the man across from me, the discomforts that spread throughout me and envelope me the water in a pool folds around a diver, they are nothing. I'd do anything for that man and he knows how much I care for him.
I abruptly notice just how heavy my footsteps are and quiet and slow my pace to that of a feather soft wrap against the waxed mahogany. I climb into bed next to him and wrap my arms around his wiry frame. He's still shaking. I'm worried, of course. He's the only one that has ever seen me as compassionate as this. I love him. Like I said earlier, I love him. Months before present day, the line of friendship between us was blurred so badly that it disappeared and we found ourselves...
...in love.
Hakkai lets his hands to travel up the other man's naked back as he sighs and immediately falls into his lover's embrace. His relaxed state is returned but as soon as the other is atop the green - eyed man, he begins to tremble more.
"You're burning up...," Gojyo murmurs into the brunette's ear gently. He presses his soft pink lips to Hakkai's forehead tenderly and then locks their eyes, their very glances hold a loving embrace as the half - breed cups the other's cheek in one hand. "Are you alright, baby?"
Hakkai nods and buries his face in the crook of Gojyo's neck, pulling him closer and attempting to calm his frazzled state of unsturdy nerves. The red - haired man then noticed the cold sweat that had settled over the moist skin of his love.
"Hakkai...," Gojyo utters before pulling himself gently from Hakkai's grasp.
"Oh, Gojyo...," Hakkai groans as he feels the warmness of his lover leave his grasp.
Silently, stealthly, Gojyo stands and towers over the pale figure in the bed. His heart races as he suddenly witnesses the one he loves so dear grasp his chest desperately, in one swift move. His fingertips are buried in the peachish flesh but no pain subsides and no piercing of the skin takes place. Hakkai runs his hand down Gojyo's chest and stops at the button of his pants.
"Hakkai?"
Snap.
The button is undone.
"Hakkai?"
The zipper.
"Hakkai!" Gojyo grasps Hakkai by the shoulders and shakes him violently. What in the world was he doing? What came over him so suddenly? He was still a virgin! So what motivated him to do such things as he had done just now? "Hakkai!" Another shout. Hakkai collapses onto the bed, his eyes set in horor, it seemed. He looked as if he had just suffered a sever blow, gasping for air as his hand is clutched to his on chest, the fabric turning and wrinkling to fit his fingers. His breathing becomes heavier than ever and his case of the shivers is now a case of the jolts...
"Ugh....,"
Now what?
"I...."
What do I do!?
"He--"
I....Hakkai, I....
Gojyo's thoughts raced as his lover lay their gasping for air, appearing to suffocate.
What's wrong with him?
"Help...," Gojyo heard himself whisper. His voice began with a murmur, inaudible, but he knew that. He could not yell right away. The shock and sheer horor that struck him - seeing Hakkai lying their helpless, the cause of which signed as Anonymous. "Help," louder now. Like crashing into the rocks of the sea, a hurricane pushed him. "Help!" Louder. You have to yell louder, Gojyo. Up against the rock during the storm. The waves pushed him past the small shards of broken shell and sandrock on the beachy ground. "Help!" Yes, louder. No one could hear him if he was that quiet. The rock - ...he heard a bone aching with weight; too much weight. I creaked as the final tidal wave was cascaded over his battered and bruised body.
Crack...
Dear God...
Snap...
Oh, Lord...
"Somebody help me!"
Louder...
The scenery outside was painted, melting like a deformed watercolor dipped in a pool of H2O. Melting. It ran down the window panes, twisting the scenery as the rain molded it to its liking.
"What's the matter with him?" A demanding voice stammered, requiring an answer from the doctor before he passed out from the sickness of worry.
"You know how people do strange things in their sleep," the doctor began, his handsome features twisting in concern as he spoke to the red - haired man before him. "This was sort of a sleep - walking incident."
"But his eyes were open!"
"They can be. He was still dreaming. The shock of you waking him up forced him into an alarmed state...," he paused. "He coughed so hard, he broke two of his ribs..."
Hakkai lay in the bed nearest the window, his eyes closed in an attempted state of slumber, a haven from escaping the pain in his chest, the ache in his heart, and the painful remenisces of his past that the springtime air brought with the rainy days. Behind him were four or five humongous fluffy white pillows, propping him up at an almost forty - five degree angle. Across his chest were layers of alabaster bandages, compressing and realining the cracked ribs to the point of perfect healing. Although sleep skillfully eluded him, his thoughts came in torents:
Ringing... I remember stating back then...
"Hakkai?" Gojyo inquired as he stepped through the door, which had been sent slightly ajar to allow the half - breed enough room to let himself in.
...that the rain sounded like ringing....
"Yes?"
"...A--," he hesitated. "Are you alright?"
The red - haired man knelt beside the bed, letting one hand to rest over one of the other man's knees gently, giving a slight squeeze of encouragement.
"Yes... I'm fine," Hakkai smiled and put his hand over Gojyo's, patting it slightly but stopped as soon as he saw his lover bite his bottom lip, averting his eyes from the view locked between the two of them. "Gojyo--"
"Please, don't talk...," Gojyo stated softly, recieving a warm - hearted smile from the other before he sat up slightly, the covers shifting bit by bit to reveal the bandage fully. Hakkai leant forward slightly, ignoring the multiple doctors' orders to stay still, and, seizing Gojyo's hand from his and squeezing it between his own. Placing it to his cheek and leaning against it, he remarked,
"If you do not want me to speak...," he leant forward more, "allow me to show."
"I'd like nothing better, baby," Gojyo said as he stood slightly, caressing the other man as gently as possible, as if catching him from falling. Hakkai's hands travelled to Gojyo's back from over his shoulders, grabbing at the light purple shirt to steady himself before the one he loved so dear. Gojyo's arms supported the part of Hakkai that Hakkai could not as their chests pushed together, the brunette showing a sign of slight discomfort but something that he wanted Gojyo to ignore, for he knew what would come next - and he wanted it.
Gojyo tilted his head slightly and finally pressed their lips together, both of them closing their eyes, raptured in the moment. (Truth be told that there were not many times during the day that they were allowed to do anything, including kissing and touching.) Gojyo knew that him being there right then was a huge pick - me - up for Hakkai; factoring in the rain and the fact that he was bandaged in bed again with Gojyo at his side. One of the red - haired man's hands snaked its way up Hakkai's neck, resting at the back of his head to press him deeper into the kiss - an attempt to breech the flesh barrier that was Hakkai's lips. Sure enough, the half - breed was successful: the green - eyed man couldn't take much more and at last, he opened his mouth, letting Gojyo's tongue inside, travelling over the roof of his mouth and delicately re - exploring his lover.
It was amazing just how perfectly they fit together. Their bodies never showed any uneccissary friction and their lips were like two pieces to a puzzle - the finishing pieces; as if they were made to be together. [2]
Oh, Lord... Hakkai thought as Gojyo's slender fingers lightly stroked the back of his neck. I... Oh, Gojyo... I love you so much. But the sudden thought brought a chill over his spine and he remembered when he had said the exact same thing to his beloved sister. Guilt flooded over him as quick as a flock of crows fled from danger. He could remember how he felt when the suspicions arose that he may be falling in love again. He thought it was just a strong friendship, no attraction involved, right? He was afraid to fall in love again - for fear that something else could happen. Like the worst case of deja vu ever.
Abruptly, the memory came back to him: After Chin Iisou, bastard of Hell as he was, was at last defeated - after Gojyo had signed Goku's leg cast (with a manner of hilarious drawings and doodles), he took his seat next to Hakkai on the front hood of Jiipu.
"'You look like you've just lost your best friend,'" he remembered exactly what he had said.
And he remembered telling Gojyo that his life line was a little longer... but still awfully short. And when Goku came up behind him and used the marker to draw a longer line of his hand. And when Sanzo spanked him over the head with that paper fan. Then it dawned on him:
"'Oh, my! This is indiable ink, isn't it?'" he had asked.
"'Yep,'" was the reply that the gambler to his side gave him.
"'It will not come off, will it?'"
"'Nope,'" Gojyo smiled as he leaned in a bit closer and nearly whispered, "'Isn't it better this way?'"
Hakkai's face shown with a smile, something of which had meaning to it for a change, not as artificial as the others. He nodded.
Kanan... he thought. I'd like to go on living for a little longer.
Many people have heard others say that works of God occur when most needed, when most felt a feeling toward someone beyond life that was so strong it was like someone was right there with you. Although Hakkai did not draw attention, he could have sworn he saw Kanan next to him, smiling as she always did, the beautiful smile that he loved so dear; her dress flowing in the winds reminding him of a field of sunflowers. She laughed. She smiled. And she faded away once again.
He remembered how she looked when she was so happy. He remembered how cheerful she was that he had finally found a job. He remembered what she used to say about his hands - how much she loved them and how beautiful she thought them to be.
And here as he promised to love Kanan forever, he was kissing another person. But someone can love more that one person, right? Of course. But the guilt nearly made him want to sob.
Gojyo drew back suddenly, forcing their lips to part.
"G - Gojyo?"
Gojyo stood up, his figure shadowed by the oncoming dusk through the rainy ash - colored clouds and spoke, "I just came to check up on you." He offered a false smile. In all the times, all the years, that Hakkai had seen Gojyo smile, never would he have imagined that he would see a fake smile. He always had that grin on his face. He always enjoyed himself. He possessed that nonchalant attitude. But as Hakkai watched Gojyo walk to the doorway, he feared as if the kiss they had both just shared transfered something (more than his saliva) to the red - haired man. They always said you could tell how a person feels through kissing them. Maybe Gojyo felt his sadness and confusion...? "Hope you feel better, babe." The half - breed winked and walked out the door, gently closing it behind him.
A faint lightning bolt could be seen over the horizon; a small rumble of thunder that sounded like the faint roll of the tempany in a band arrangement followed.
True friendship was not measured by the time of aquaintance between two people. It was measured by the loyalty and trust that you put into the other person - that is, if you could measure friendship. But what of love? The most indescribable and confusing feeling in the world. No one can elude. No one can ignore. They give themselves up in he heat of it and later, many of them regret their decisions.
Hakkai remembered when the line of friendship between him and Gojyo had finally blurred into nothingness and transformed into love. It was after that terrible, brutal battle with Goku, after he had removed his limiter to fight against Kou Gaiji and Dokugakuji. [3]
//flashback//
Hakkai coughed from the pain in his chest as he lifted his friends from the ground and placed them gently into Jiipu, who doubted that he had enough energy to make it to the next town with the four of them. Gojyo and Goku were situated in the back, both of them sleeping from exhaustion from the fight. The brunette placed Sanzo into the passenger seat and stumbled to the other side of the vehicle, taking his spot in the driver's seat.
They had been driving across the vast desert for nearly thrity minutes now. The pain in Hakkai's chest subsided once more, pounding as if something were trying to break out of him. Hunched over the steering wheel, one of his hands placed solemnly onto the steering wheel, the other hand clenched over the cloth of his shirt. He coughed once more. The salty, desgusting taste of blood reached his mouth. He swallowed and gasped for air. Oh, no... he thought. I don't know if I will be able to make it to the next town... He coughed again. His eyelids were heavy. I must have ruptured some internal organs. I... can feel my eyes slipping shut. And sure enough, he was unable to keep his eyes open. They slipped shut and his hand fell from the steering wheel. He woke suddenly from his exhausted state when a hand from the back seat of the jeep was felt over his own. The hand placed his back onto the wheel and helped him to steer while he spoke,
"Let me drive... Hakkai," Gojyo commanded, his features softened with sleep.
"Please go back to sleep, Gojyo! You must have cracked some bones when I slammed into you!"
Gojyo shook his head and looked forward, over the horizon. The next village was far from view, for you could not see the small buildings and houses that usually dotted the land.
"Just... switch!" Gojyo said through gritted teeth as he held back a cough that was sure to come.
The green - eyed man nodded. "Okay...." He remembered right after the cave in further back into the desert - he had used all of his energy to protect Gojyo, Sanzo, and Goku from the multiple tons of sand and gravel that surely would have buried them all if he had not tried. Then, for reasons unknown to him at that time, Kou Gaiji had saved them from the cave in by using his Red Wind. [4]
It was after he had discovered that Hakuryu had been waiting there in the desert for them all that time. After he collapsed from the lack of energy.
"Hakkai! Quit tryin' to act so cool!" Gojyo demanded hurriedly, refering to when Gojyo had warned Hakkai of the danger of using his ki technique.
The green - eyed man ran a hand through his thick brown hair and threw a weary smile to the other man. "I'm sorry."
But once the apology was uttered, Gojyo turned away from him, and muttered, "You're just trying to make me miserable."
"G-...Gojyo..."
Yes, that arose his suspicions. Maybe he did love Gojyo. Did he? And if so, how? Why? But once Gojyo had demanded for him and Hakkai to switch spots in order for the healer to rest, Hakkai felt a strong burning sensation deep within his chest as he gently pushed the break pedal until Jiipu had stopped completely. Placing one hand on the back of his seat and the other still on the steering wheel, the brunette pushed himself out of the vehicle while Gojyo waited next to the driver's door. The human - turned - youkai was just out of the small jeep when the pain returned to his chest and a hand flew over his mouth to stifle the cough that followed. The sudden coughing fit was severe and filled with gasping and choking as Hakkai fell to his knees - or he would have... if the half - breed by his side had not caught him.
"Hakkai!" Gojyo exclaimed, one hand around Hakkai's waist and the other on one of his shoulders. "Are you alright!?"
Hakkai continued on with the severe coughing until finally, it died down to where he could talk, even though his tone was choked, "Y-yes. I'm fine. Thank... you, Gojyo."
The red - haired man's face was filled to the brim and overflowing with worry as his best friend put on another false smile. "Damn it! You really are making me miserable."
"H - how so?"
"How in the world can you smile when you know you're falling apart inside?"
"What?"
"You're injured....! And you know the situation that we're in! We may not even make it to the next town! We could die, Hakkai!"
"Gojyo...," Hakkai began. "Whenever I heard that... you know that I always think about Kanan and how I had asked about living a little longer. Well, there is no time like the present and... I am afraid to die." He paused. "But I understand that some people are. If you are then I'll do what I can to keep you alive. I hope you'll do the same for me...."
Gojyo stood speechless and completely unmoving. Finally, he nodded. He had no idea what to say. Hakkai never liked to talk about his beloved sister, Kanan, the love of his life - let alone bring her up by himself. It seemed as if putting him in the middle of a hungry pack of wolves and waiting for the result. But there always was the opportunit to sneak away when they were asleep. Yes, and Hakkai took that chance. He could avoid the pack.
"Hakkai, I...," Gojyo wanted to speak something comforting. He felt horrible causing Hakkai to talk about death and Kanan. "I'm not the type to worry too much about dying," was what he said next. He pulled himself from Hakkai, seeing as he had finally found his balance after the coughing fit. He turned his back to him and spread his arms out as he felt the swift desert wind. And as if framed in a painting, he said, "I miss my step - mother. You know that. I wanted her in the worst way." He dropped his arms after about a minute and turned to Hakkai, a smile upon his face and a glimmer in his eyes. "But I guess guys like us always tend toward the messy romances, yeah?"
Hakkai gave a light laugh, seeing as he understood and walked to Gojyo. "Yes, I suppose so."
"I mean," Gojyo laughed and continued, "I love my step - mom, you love your sister so much, Mr. Wordly Monk is a muderer," he paused. Hakkai shook his head.
"It's okay, Gojyo. I know what I've done. There's no way to avoid it is the conclusion that I have come to."
Gojyo continued, pretending that the subject flew over his head. "And the ape is a freaking glutton." [5] He laughed again. "Yep, we're pretty messed." He commented sarcastically.
"Gojyo, if we do not get to the next town soon, Sanzo might not last much longer," Hakkai spoke worriedly. [6]
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go," Gojyo said. He walked to the brunette and gave him a sturdy pat on the shoulder. Pointing to the back seat, he said, "Don't die on me back there."
Hakkai smiled and nodded.
Finally, all of them had reached a town, safe and sound, thanks to the little boy who had come across their nearly lifeless figures lying in the sand in the middle of the desert. Hakuryu had run out of energy and transformes from his jeep state back to being the adorable little ruby - eyed dragon. Gojyo, Hakkai, Sanzo, and Goku lay on the ground as well, unable to move until they were all brought back to the village that the boy lived in. The five were nursed back to health, not perfect, mind you, but at least they were alive.
It was just another morning in the village, full of aching pains, both muscle cramps and scarred flesh and tissue from the fight with Goku, and the Sanzo - ikkou didn't feel any different than when they had been attacked by the youkai teenager.
"Hey, ape," Sanzo commanded Goku's attention suddenly from the morning paper that the blond had been reading.
"Yeah?" Goku asked, planted on the chair across from him.
"Gimme a beer."
The golden - eyed teen nodded and sprang from his seat. Into the kitchen he ran and poped open the refrigerator, clanking around noisily for a can of beer for the monk at the table.
"Any day, now."
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Goku whined and handed the icy cold can to Sanzo. The feeling of the cold metal must have been as cold as Genjo Sanzo's heart. Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai all got to wonder once in a while, if not, all the time why Sanzo was always so cold and cruel to them.
"Hey...," Gojyo greeted, walking outside to a small table placed just outside the inn. Both hands were in his pockets and, as usual, he possessed that nonchalant attitude, if not visible then audible.
"Hello, Gojyo," Hakkai responded with a warm good morning smile to his friend. "Are you feeling better than before?"
The red - haired man laughed and sauntered to stand beside the other man. "Tch. Hardly."
"Sorry to hear."
That night...
~Gojyo~
Damn it. I can't get to sleep again. It's all because of the pain. Shit, why did that stupid ape have to hit so hard!? And he threw Hakkai at me. He threw him! Like a piece of trash. Hakkai is just about anything but a piece of trash, though. Yeah, he could do anything, he's so smart. Tch. He was a teacher. Hello, wake up. He's like... the perfect man. I mean, he's smart, funny, nice, handsome, attractive. Attractive? Where the hell did I get that? Aw, come on, don't fall apart. What am I thinking!? Attractive... I just called by best friend handsome and attractive. Well, he is. Damn, am I beating myself up over this!? If I don't stop, I could become bipolar. Ha ha. Shit. Bi. Yes, that is probably what I am. I'm bi; I have to come to terms with it that at some times, I picture Hakkai as a little more than a friend. Alright, all the time... and a lot more than a friend. Shit, what is a womanizing lady's man to do about that? Can you womanize a man? [7] And if so, I would like to know how. I'll go after Hakkai. I mean, I would if I could. And I will... but I won't... 'cause I can't... Gah. If I make a move on him, we'll both break to pieces. What the hell am I thinking? He wants to die to be with his sister and I want my step - mother. Here I go, tending toward another messy romance. First, my step - mom, and then my best friend. What the hell's wrong with me? Aah.... *grr...*
This can't be right... Maybe I should... tell him? Hell, no. Then what can I do? Well... I could... uh... tell him. Shit! This isn't working!
Gojyo pounded his pillow in sheer frustration as he threw his face into the fluffy thing and let out an exhasterated moan of confusion. "This sucks...," he mumbled, his comment muffled by the soft down feathers and cotton material. "This really.... sucks."
~Hakkai~
Okay... I have been shifting in my sleep for the past hour and a half and I would really like to know when my wounds are to heal entirely. I hate to say it but that medicine that they are giving us does not seem to be working very effectively. *sigh* Oh, well. The pain should go away eventually.
Or perhaps it is a different type of pain that I am suffering from? Could it be that that dusky night in Jiipu when Gojyo caught me and told me to switch places with him meant that we are a little more than comrades? He is my best friend and has, literally, saved my life. But when he told me to 'Just... switch!', that emotion that burned in his eyes looked so demanding and critical, but at the same time, concerned and determined. And I swear that I could have seen a different sign of him. Even though he is a lady's man, he acts like he really... likes me sometimes. And that time a few years ago when I first woke up, in his bed and him leaning over me, he was so close to me, he might have actually kissed me! Wait... I'm thinking about kissing my closest friend? Well... truth be told, I have thought about it before. But why? Does that mean I love him? I've never really thought about this kind of situation too hard before. This is new... Hm... Well, I will definetly have to think over this.
-End chapter #1
Author Notes:
[1] I was over at msn.com and once I sign in, it has a little window that'll pop up and tell me news and stuff. Well, a topic was "Why People are Afraid of the Dark". 'Course, I clicked on it. It turns out that people who wear contacts/glasses/monacles can see better in the dark without the correction to their eyes than people with perfect vision can see in the dark. Makes me feels special since I have glasses... the right lense doesn't stop popping out though...! *pushes it back in*
[2] Reason for the perfect fitting thing is that... well, unless those many websites are wrong about the manga, Kenren and Tenpou are married. Whooo! *throws arms up* *big smile*
[3] In the first season of Gensomaden Saiyuki - Episode #22. I am a big Kou Gaiji x Dokugakuji fan but
Gojyo x Hakkai comes first on my fanfic list. There is going to be a little shounen ai between Kou Gaiji and Dokugakuji much later, though!
[4] Yes, Red Wind. Also known as Aka Kaze. (Aka = Red; Kaze = Wind)
[5] Gluttony IS A SIN! I told that to Sam at school and he just stared at me and nearly dropped his crackers. He just ate lunch! And was eating MORE CRACKERS! I laughed so hard at his expression, though. My math teacher said, "Yes, I think he should share the crackers with the rest of the class!" Ha ha!
[6] Yeah. Remember that Sanzo is poisoned? Must help Sanzo. Must! Alright, I said worriedly. But I did not mean Sanzo x Hakkai way. I know how some people take it. Funny thing is that Enigma (my role - model author) actually talked about a Gojyo x Hakkai x Sanzo thing once. That was my first Saiyuki romance idea. For real! Of course, I had only read about it, then. Now it's Gojyo x Hakkai even though some of those images stick in my head. I don't really mind Sanzo x Hakkai or Gojyo x Sanzo but I don't want to write/hear/read about them. There will be NO 38/83 or 53/35 in this story. Only 58 and a few other couples that I will not spoil... 'cept for Kou Gaiji x Dokugakuji. *smiles*
[7] This question was querried upon me by my best friend, Kira. Her and Faye Faye, and I have been wondering that when we finally came to the conclusion that you can womanize a man. I am not sure how to spell womanize. Don't hurt me. We may be wrong about if you can or cannot but oh, well...
[8] No, you didn't miss an author note. I just want to say THANK YOU for reading my first chapter of my soon to be LONG story! THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is the first fanfic that I am putting up here so I appreciate that you have read it. Please review and tell me what you think! Please, I prefer not to be rated on this site. Thank you. THANK YOU!!!
