Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Fateful Encounters ❯ A Horrific Revelation Followed by a Joyful Reunion ( Chapter 25 )

I wish to offer a special word of thanks to all those who have reviewed this story so far! Without your kind words and encouragement, I seriously doubt I could have gotten more of this done, and I wanted you to know that. Also, please be advised that this is the penultimate chapter as well as the longest to date! Yes, we are finally getting to some of the best scenes in episode 16 as well as a few interactions Minekura-sensei chose not to explore that all yaoi writers simply *live* for! I'd always wondered what Gojyo and Hakkai might have said to each other after that meeting in the marketplace, didn't you?

Enjoy!

E-sama the Llama

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Title: Fateful Encounters [part 25/26]

Author: Enigma

Series: Saiyuki

Written: June, 2002 - January, 2003

Rating: R

Pairings: (Gojyo + Hakkai)

Category: Shonen ai/yaoi, Angst, Romance, Action/Adventure, Blood, Language. AU-OOC.

Archive: fanfiction.net & mediaminer.org [author: "E-sama the Llama"]

Warnings: shonen ai/yaoi, angst, romance, action/adventure, anime-based bloodshed, crude language matching the characterization of the series, original characters to support the main characters from the anime and not detract from them, medical and other squick, additional warnings and pairings possible as fic comes into being over time. AU-OOC.

Spoilers: Since this is based on episodes 15 & 16 of the anime, there are definite spoilers for them, but there are also minor spoilers for other aspects of the series which I will try to keep to a minimum so readers both new and old can enjoy this tale.

Disclaimer: "Saiyuki" is the property of Kazuya Minekura, et al. All original characters featured herein (including but not limited to: Zan, Long, Kiko, etc.) are © Enigma, 2002, and are not to be used without permission. This unauthorized work of unpaid fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.

Notes: What might have actually happened after Gojyo found and rescued a severely injured Gonou (a.k.a. Hakkai) three years prior to their journey to the west? How will these revelations change not only their own lives but also Sanzo and Goku's as well?

*****

For Gojyo who was becoming badly sleep-deprived due to an effort to avoid the nightmares about his former roommate's unknown fate, the days after he was separated from Gonou crawled by at an unbearably slow pace. [1]

Mornings blended into afternoons which gave way to unnoticed nights as the once outgoing gambler became a virtual recluse and refused to leave his home or to even welcome an occasional guest. Both Tonpu and Dr. Long had dropped by within a few days after Gojyo's return to the village, yet the increasingly exhausted teen barely said a handful of words to either man. In his hazy, dangerously stressed condition, he was likewise unaware when his landlord had the bullet hole in the front door repaired. [2]

Not one to be convinced that the symptoms of a broken heart were really and truly "nothing" as Gojyo claimed they were, Tonpu had returned a day or so after his first visit. The blue-haired youth had entered the apartment despite the unintentional lack of an invitation, placed a hot meal on the table, then commanded the lanky half-breed to sit and eat or face a never-ending and exceptionally boring story about some ancient legend he'd learned as a child.

Wincing since the last thing he wanted was conversation much less a lecture, Gojyo had dutifully sat and consumed the surprisingly tasty meal the cook at the bar had sent for him.

With a sad, fond smile on his face, Tonpu wordlessly kept his friend company and even cleaned the dishes afterwards so Gojyo wouldn't forget to do so and simply leave them on the table until they attracted insects or worse.

Once his mission of mercy was complete, Tonpu placed a cold Asahi and a fresh pack of hi-lites onto the small table near the bed, then showed himself to the door, pausing only to say, "You know, Gojyo, Nanashi would be really unhappy that you weren't taking care of yourself." Mournful red eyes lifted and gazed at him in response, but when Gojyo attempted to find a reply yet failed to do so, the blue-haired man sighed deeply, then added, "Try to get some sleep tonight, okay? The circles under your eyes are getting awfully dark."

Still incapable of saying what his empty heart felt, Gojyo merely shrugged, rose from his chair to retrieve the cigarettes and beer, then said quietly, "Thanks, Tonpu."

Tonpu's sad yet encouraging smile indicated that he accepted the countless other things those two words were meant to convey. Then, with a cheery wave, he vanished once more.

Lighting his first cigarette in several days since he'd finished all that he had yet he couldn't stand the idea of going out into the world for more, Gojyo inhaled the acrid smoke. He then sat down onto the familiar spot on the floor where he could lean against the bed as he had done so often when Gonou had first come into his life. Releasing a gray trail of smoke from the corner of his mouth, he let his head fall back against the mattress tiredly.

Crimson tresses danced across a navy blue bedcover as exceptionally long eyelashes slipped closed and remembrances of the person Gojyo missed so desperately became so strong that it was as if the verdant-eyed man was there and speaking to him. In his mind, he heard a mellifluous voice greeting him as it had in the past, saying, "Good morning, Gojyo. Did you rest well?"

He winced and bit back the desire to say that he hadn't even as the familiar, generous words with which Gonou had accepted so many tiny favors echoed as well, "Ah, that would be wonderful, Gojyo. Thank you."

Thinking that he'd wished he could've done more for his friend than he had, Gojyo pulled the smoldering cigarette from his lips and placed it negligently in the same ashtray which had gone virtually unused during Gonou's time with him.

Gojyo scowled slightly as he remembered exactly why he had not smoked in his own home for as long as he had. Words which at the time hadn't meant as much as they should have arose in his mind next and he belatedly realized he had heard them far too often and taken them far too lightly. Gonou's gentle tenor echoed in his memory, "No, no, I'll be fine. You worry about me far too much, Gojyo." These were followed immediately by a phrase that became a warning sign as sure as the other man's pained sighs were, "I am as well as can be expected."

A frown of sorrow and regret creased red brows as that same, beloved voice whispered gently yet with a pain he'd failed to detect at the time since he himself was emotionally distraught, "for as long as you need me, i'll do my best to stay, gojyo."

The youth whose sunset-hued eyes were once more damp with unshed tears recalled his own response on that harrowing day when Zan's unintentionally devastating words had cut Gojyo deeply, "but what if i need you to stay forever?" Only now, in the harsh reality of their separation could he grasp the true meaning of the lack of a reply.

As one salt-laden teardrop rolled ever so slowly down a cheek marred by twin scars, Gojyo choked back a sob and told someone who was no longer there, "Gods, this hurts, baby." Roughly dashing away some of the wetness with the back of his hand, he added in an agonized voice, "I really did need you to stay forever after all, Nanashi. Why couldn't you?"

When only bitter silence filled the room in reply, more tears followed the first.

A cigarette forgotten in an ashtray converted itself into a cylinder of gray powder even as a can of beer sat untouched since the person it had been obtained for was too far gone in his thoughts and memories to recall that it was even present.

*****

The next morning found Gojyo unexpectedly asleep sitting on the floor and propped against the bed, head pillowed atop crossed arms as he had often done a month past while waiting for a comatose stranger to regain awareness.

When the recurring nightmares about Gonou's destruction forced him awake once more, sadly there was no warm body beneath the covers or a gentle voice to greet him, yet the half-breed dragged himself to unsteady feet, tottered to the bathroom, and showered with the negligence of habit. Nothing fazed him as he prepared coffee in the usual trance-like daze which seemed to reflect everything about his life now.

As Gojyo sat at the table a little later, staring into a hot mug of coffee that would most likely go cold before he drank it, there was an unexpected knock at the door.

He ignored it.

Ruby-colored eyes were unfocused as they stared at the shimmering liquid that was the color of someone special's hair then narrowed with annoyance as the knock at the door was repeated only much more loudly and more demandingly.

"What the hell?" Gojyo snarled and pushed himself to his feet. When he pulled the door open to discover far too much golden sunshine and a man whose hair and robes rivaled said beams of light, he growled, "What the fuck do *you* want, you bastard?!"

Genjo Sanzo gazed coolly at the man he'd gone out of his way to see and then asked in a haughty tone, "Is this how you greet all of your guests? By insulting them and not inviting them inside?" He narrowed icy amethyst eyes as he gauged the other man's weariness which he hadn't expected and didn't understand, then added bitingly, "Even Goku has better manners than that."

As the temptation to slam the door shut in the face of the man who had denied him a chance to go with his former roommate to face the judgement of the Sanbutusin became almost overwhelming, the name of the strange yet somehow familiar youth gave him pause. Stepping back a few paces, Gojyo gestured with one hand to indicate Sanzo could enter and he said simply, "At least this time you waited for me to invite you in, jerk."

Sanzo snorted dismissively in reply yet came inside far enough that Gojyo could close the door behind him. With carefully concealed yet keen interest, he waited until his unwilling host's attention was on him fully. Then, in carefully measured words, the blond single-handedly destroyed what little hope Gojyo had left by stating flatly and without preamble, "Cho Gonou is dead." [3]

"He *what*?!?" Gojyo exploded. Then, without a moment's hesitation, he grabbed Sanzo roughly by his robes and practically lifted the shorter man off of his feet while growling in his face, "What the *fuck* do you mean, asshole?! What happened?!"

"He's dead," Sanzo repeated without any apology in his tone. Then he added emotionlessly, "No one has the right to disagree with the end that he chose for himself."

"Oh, shit," Gojyo gasped in horror and then released the priest's robes as his knees weakened and he fell backwards into a chair, utterly dismayed and temporarily speechless.

Sanzo simply stood where he was, observing the reaction his message had engendered. His reasons for being there were entirely selfish ones. Following the mostly silent journey to the temple of the Sanbutusin, he'd begun to question his own hostility towards the world as well as his faltering indifference regarding the two youkai he'd met so recently.

Unexpectedly finding himself speaking on Gonou's behalf during the audience with the Sanbutusin had added to Sanzo's growing sense that whether he liked it or not, he was going to find himself interacting with not only the brunette but also the redhead, hence he needed to learn to understand them. One of the biggest barriers which caused that necessary comprehension to allude him was that the relationship between the former roommates baffled him since it was similar though fundamentally unlike the one he shared with Goku.

The way the two strangers had gazed at one another, had spoken to each other, and especially the way Gojyo had reacted to Gonou's injuries reflected a closeness Sanzo himself had never known, yet had longed for before his world was destroyed by his mentor's murder. Reflecting upon the loss that had torn his own dreams apart when he was still a child had brought him to this place and time since death had a transformative power unlike any other. He wished to see its effects on the half-breed to compare them to those seen on the human-turned-youkai who he had left behind to complete his recovery under the mystical care of the Sanbutusin's attendants.

Unaware of the truth of the matter or that Sanzo was studying him and finding immeasurable food for thought later, Gojyo felt himself falling far more deeply into the blackness of sorrow than hearing Zan's cruel words against him had caused him to. Like a rudderless ship floundering in high seas, his thoughts were painfully disjointed as they raced towards destruction while the symptoms of shock set in as they had that horrible day when a monk had appeared at his door to invite him to a death rite.

Dimly sensing that Sanzo was standing there staring at him yet not wishing to reveal the depth of his agony to such an unfeeling bastard, Gojyo finally muttered, "This is the second time I got left behind by someone."

The half-breed's words didn't reflect what he was truly feeling, of course. However, the power of his sense of loss was so overwhelming that he'd lost not only the ability to express himself but also that of allowing healing tears to fill his eyes and begin to wash some of the agony away. Strangely, it also prevented him from ascertaining the manner in which Gonou had died, something that was truly regrettable since it left his imagination free to continue to harass him whenever his body's need for sleep overcame his fear of the nightmarish images of his departed friend's final moments.

"Oh?" Unwillingly curious about the odd expression on the other man's face, Sanzo asked, "Did you pout then, too?"

The sutra-bearer was discovering that the trip had been well worth it inasmuch as the half-breed hadn't disappointed him by reacting strongly to his message.

Yet for every piece of data Sanzo collected, new questions rose in his mind and it would be a very long time--if ever--before he understood that what Gojyo and Hakkai would come to share was based on an emotion he wouldn't allow himself to feel. Then again, when his soul had been that of Konzen, he'd not been able to fully comprehend the relationship between Tenpou and Kenren either, so perhaps romantic love was simply something Sanzo was eternally incapable of experiencing.

After pausing for a long moment since he'd forgotten the question for a bit as the effects of shock worsened, Gojyo eventually replied, "Yeah, I guess I did." He then lapsed into a profound silence which was Sanzo's cue to leave.

As the blond stepped out into the glaring sunlight after being inside the gloomy apartment, he narrowed his eyes as his pupils shrank to pinpoints leaving behind almost endless seas of violet irises. Slipping a Marlboro between his lips and lighting it automatically, Sanzo made his way home lost in contemplation and disdainfully unaware of the emotional wreckage that was left in his wake.

Within the small apartment, twin scarlet orbs finally filled with wetness once more and Gojyo allowed the enormity of the news to control him fully. Teardrops coursed down his face unhindered as he realized that his worst fears had come to fruition after all. Like almost all of those who he had dared to love, Gonou, too, had left him behind and if suicide wasn't as distasteful to Gojyo as it was, the half-breed might very well have chosen to follow his absent companion into the arms of death that very day.

Luckily, Gojyo remained true to himself and simply let his heart finish shattering fully as he mourned the untimely loss of someone whose presence in his life had left him a changed man.

*****

Two days after Sanzo's life-altering visit, Gojyo stood half-naked in front of his bathroom mirror with a long, dangerous looking pair of scissors in his hand.

"All right, Sha," Gojyo told himself firmly as the first thick lock of crimson hair drifted down into the sink. Continuing to hack off his luxurious, blood red mane, he gave himself a pep talk as well as a haircut, saying, "Time to get your shit together and get back out there. Hell, if you don't, Tonpu's apt to show up here again giving you that hangdog look of his while rightly pointing out that Nanashi would be pretty pissed at you for acting like this."

Considering the fact that the half-breed was very nearly obsessed with not only his own hair but also that of those around him, the continued snap of razor-sharp blades that severed massive clumps of crimson tresses was practically an act of self-mutilation in and of itself. The same fingers which had frequently lingered lovingly in soft brown waves throughout the time Gonou had lived with him now harshly tugged a long earlock away from a scarred cheek. Once again, the scissors came together with a click and the silken shield that had often been used to conceal the painful reminder of the past was then dropped uncaringly into the sink.

The motivations behind deliberately destroying an aspect of his looks which Gojyo had always prided himself on were muddy and vague despite his confident words. While chopping it off, he muttered to himself about the foolish things people had said about his hair recently and the way it annoyed him to hear their words. However, if the truth was known, even he was not quite sure what he was trying to accomplish by changing his appearance so radically.

By the time he was done, Gojyo had unwittingly recreated the hairstyle Kenren had worn a half-millennium prior and even though he truly had no idea about his past life, the dashing cut somehow boosted his badly damaged self-confidence. He pulled on his favorite white tank top, added the same blue overshirt he'd worn the night that he'd discovered Gonou bleeding to death in the forest, then sauntered out into the sunshine for the first time in far too long.

The air was warm and the breeze carried the aromas of the marketplace which drew him in that direction despite not particularly having intentions of shopping. Wanting to feel the sun on his bare arms, Gojyo shrugged off the overshirt which he then slung over one shoulder in his usual jaunty manner.

A bevy of beauties from the bar accosted him en route and with a few glib, innuendo-laden words, he left them behind just as quickly as he'd encountered them. They'd accused him of finding a new girlfriend, yet his response told him too much about his own thoughts as Sanzo, Goku, and of course, Gonou came to mind. The mental image of his dear departed roommate rose in his mind as it often did and he silently promised the man he'd described as an "emotionally unstable dish on the skids" that he'd try harder to get his life back in order.

Approaching a fruit stand, the half-breed noticed some perfectly formed apples whose inviting red peels matched his own eyes and hair. With a small, self-aware smirk, he called to the seller, "Miss? I'll take one of these."

The girl acknowledged his request, yet before Gojyo could reach for some cash to pay for his snack, a gentle tenor froze him in place by remarking, "These apples are a lovely color, wouldn't you say, Gojyo?" [4]

Not thinking he could trust his ears, Gojyo turned slowly and there before his disbelieving eyes stood a man whom he believed to be dead and gone. Shock turned to hope and he stuttered, "N-n-nanashi?! Is it really you?!"

"Yes, Gojyo, it is," the brunette agreed since that aspect of himself would remain eternal and unchanged regardless of the power of the Sanbutusin to change so much else about him. In a fashion no one could ever explain, the identity he'd been given by the current incarnation of his soul's eternal partner was now part of his spirit's truth about itself. Until the stars fell from the sky, Cho Hakkai would be as much Nanashi as he had once been Tenpou.

"Baby!!" Gojyo exclaimed loudly without giving a damn what anyone in the marketplace thought and threw his arms around Hakkai, embracing him fiercely while fighting back tears of joy even as he silently cursed Genjo Sanzo's cruel, icy heart to the deepest pits of hell.

Chuckling softly and returning the joyous welcoming hug, Hakkai leaned into his cherished friend's warmth, finding strength there as always before saying very softly, "um, gojyo? while i am indeed far more than merely delighted to see you again, people *are* staring."

Looking about and noting many a wide-eyed person gazing at them in amazement, Gojyo laughed outright and stated, "Let 'em stare!" While briefly holding Hakkai at arms' length and lifting his voice so that those around them could hear his words clearly, he exclaimed, "I was told my best friend was dead and now he's back and to *hell* with anyone who can't appreciate how damned glad that makes me feel!" Once the public announcement had been made, he resumed hugging his friend tightly while surreptitiously checking for bandages beneath the familiar yellow tee-shirt and forest green overshirt he himself had given the brunette.

The crowd murmured approvingly, the concept of exceptionally strong and dedicated friendship was key to their society and then they politely turned their attention elsewhere.

For his part, Hakkai was too busy smiling the broadest, warmest, truest smile he could recall ever feeling inspired to have. As he rested his head against Gojyo's shoulder for only a moment more, he whispered, "thank you, gojyo," his warm breath tickled the newly shorn hair nearby as he added without explaining precisely what he meant, "for everything."

Running a hand over his companion's back in a familiar, tender manner, Gojyo answered equally softly, "no, thank *you* for coming back, baby. i thought i'd lost you forever."

"never, my friend," Hakkai promised earnestly, "you shall never lose me forever. you asked me to stay, remember?"

Gojyo felt a lump form in his throat and it was all he could do to simply reply softly, "gods, you have no idea!" Pulling away finally, he added more loudly yet still only for Hakkai's ears, "And I want to talk to you about that very thing in a bit! Let me get something taken care of first, then let's go chat, okay?"

"Certainly, Gojyo, anything you like," Hakkai agreed easily enough meaning every single word he'd just spoken in the most literal sense imaginable.

"Miss? I'll take four of these apples," Gojyo called to the woman who had stood respectfully silent as the two men shared a private moment in a public place. In the back of his mind, he filed away the promising comment that had fallen so sweetly from the verdant-eyed man's lips so he could give it further thought when his heart wasn't racing as joyously it was at that moment.

With a pleased smile, the fruit seller replied, "Of course, sir."

The exchange of funds for produce was accomplished quickly and before long the reunited pair made their way to a tiny table in the rear of a teahouse where they could hopefully speak freely without too many interruptions.

Settling into a chair opposite that of a man he'd never expected to see again much less get to hold in his arms as he just had, Gojyo beamed delightedly then stated, "That Sanzo jerk told me you were dead, baby, yet here you are. I'm damned glad about it, but what *really* happened?"

Green eyes filled with affection and a little regret slid away from dancing scarlet ones, but before Hakkai could respond, he felt a warm hand cupping his cheek near his monocle and Gojyo added, "And how's your eye? This little eyeglass thingee you've got is kinda cool, but can you really see okay after nearly gouging out your eyeball the way that you did?"

Gratefully tilting his head so that he could rest his face against the warm, tender hand whose caress he had sorely missed, Hakkai could feel the smile on his lips as he replied, "I can see well enough to truly enjoy the most welcome sight that is before me now, Gojyo." The corners of his eyes crinkled delightedly as his companion's suntanned face flushed ever so slightly in response to the compliment of sorts, then he amended, "The truth of the matter is that my vision without correction is not as good as it once was. However, it is far better than I might have expected it to be, thanks to the priests who serve the Sanbutusin."

"Oh? Are they the ones who fixed you up after Goku reopened your wounds, baby?" Gojyo asked, curious how Hakkai could have recovered so quickly from what had been fairly serious injuries that he vividly remembered bandaging. Once again not giving his friend a chance to answer one question before asking another, he added urgently, "I mean, you *are* all healed up, aren't you, Nanashi? You're not in pain or anything, right?"

"Ah, Gojyo, you truly do worry about me far too much," Hakkai said with a soft chuckle. As he placed a reassuring hand over the one that had never left its comforting spot against his face, he added pointedly, "And I really do mean it this time. Even though I don't quite understand everything that happened while I was there, the men at the temple that Sanzo took me to were able to completely heal my wounds."

"*All* of them? Really?" Gojyo responded in astonishment. "But you were torn up pretty good again, baby. How could they do that so fast?"

"I truly have no idea," Hakkai answered honestly and added in mild confusion, "I was told it was some ancient form of healing arts their sect practiced. Regardless, I no longer feel any weakness where my abdominal muscles had been torn so terribly and my vision is far better than I had dared to hope. Granted, that might be more a reflection of the nature of this rather unusual eyepiece they provided me with than anything else, but I am grateful all the same."

The crimson-haired man beamed delightedly as he stated, "Hell, I don't care *what* they did if it's made this much of a difference for you, baby! To see you alive and well again is just so amazing to me considering I was told that you were dead. That damned phony monk lied to me, I guess."

"Ah, yes, that," Hakkai sighed slightly and shook his head minutely, rubbing his cheek against Gojyo's palm a little then offered, "perhaps I can explain why he didn't really lie to you later. Right now, I just want to enjoy being together again, please, Gojyo?"

"Sure thing, baby, anything you want," Gojyo replied tenderly letting peaceful silence fall over them as they treasured the simple act of touching one another and reconfirming that this was not a fantasy born of desperation which would vanish and leave them both alone once more.

Deep inside each of them, an immortal soul called out gladly to its mate, rejoicing in their closeness. Despite not being fully reunited in a physical sense by any means, this momentous day had given both spirits new hope that they might someday experience a rebirth of their passionate, unbridled intimacy which was truly secondary to their eternal, heartfelt love for one another.

Timeless moments slipped away until an elderly man approached their table with the teahouse's standard fare and Gojyo felt a twinge of regret as Hakkai shifted ever so slightly so that their hands left his face and separated once more. It was one thing to embrace in the marketplace upon being reunited initially, it was quite another to be sitting together like young lovers the way that they had without realizing it until that very moment.

The tiny hint of pink on the brunette's blushing cheeks brought a gleeful song to Gojyo's heart and it was all he could do to keep from saying how cute his companion was when he was slightly embarrassed. There had been any number of endearing traits he'd almost forgotten Gonou possessed, but now that they were together in the same room, breathing the same air, and about to share a small meal, they were all rushing back to him and it lifted his spirits immeasurably.

After placing a tray onto the table with a few quiet words of invitation to enjoy the steaming cups of green tea and small assortment of things to eat with it, the owner of the establishment went back to his other guests and left the two men alone again.

"So, care to explain the whole 'dead but not dead' thing now, Nanashi?" Gojyo inquired as he reached for both cups. Realizing he needed to start addressing his friend by name instead of nickname, he frowned a little and said, "Uh, sorry about that, Gonou. Force of habit, I guess."

"That's perfectly fine, Gojyo," Hakkai smiled tenderly as Gojyo's fingers brushed his own as he handed him the tea. With a grateful smile, he admitted, "I always liked it when you called me that, actually, but I am not 'Gonou' any longer."

"Say what?" The gambler responded, utterly baffled by this newest development. Before taking a swallow of tea he added, "How can you not be, well, *you*?"

A soft chuckle and a tiny shake of his head preceded Hakkai's response, "Well, you see, after speaking at length together, the Sanbutusin, Sanzo, and I all agreed that 'Cho Gonou' had to die to atone for his sins. However, Buddhism forbids killing under most circumstances which meant an execution was out of the question and I realized that I no longer had the strength to commit suicide as I had once planned to."

Noting Gojyo's expression of pain and forestalling both it and the remark he knew his beloved friend would make in reply to that rather blatant admission of his prior intentions to destroy himself, Hakkai placed a fingertip lightly to Gojyo's lips and continued, saying quickly, "Wait, let me explain." He received agreement in the form of a nod that warned the half-breed needed a good reason not to be worried and he got it. With a somewhat shy smile in place, Hakkai admitted, "You see, Gojyo, living with you had a very strong impact on me. I found that life finally had meaning for me and as I pondered what to do, I realized that if I threw that away, you would be unhappy. So, we found another option. Do you understand?"

The fingertip departed yet left behind the oddest tingling sensation which Gojyo tried not to let distract him as he commented, "No, baby, not really. I mean, to say that you killing yourself might make me 'unhappy' is putting it pretty fucking mildly, but I'm still lost. How could you 'die' yet still be here talking to me now?"

The idea that this might be yet another nightmare suddenly occurred to Gojyo and he feared awakening from it if that was the case. But before he could lose his confidence in the reality of the moment, Hakkai reached out and closed a hand lightly upon his own where it lay limply on the tabletop, thereby assuring him perfectly that this was a glorious reality and not a dream.

Squeezing lightly and causing sparkling red eyes to lock with his own emerald green ones, Hakkai explained as simply as he could, "As I said, we agreed that 'Cho Gonou' would 'die' to the world even as *I* was reborn as 'Cho Hakkai', Gojyo. There was more than a name change involved, but that is all terribly complicated and I'd rather not go into it right now, all right?"

Turning his hand over and using it to grasp that of his companion before squeezing it firmly as if they were sealing a bargain with a handshake which they were in a way, Gojyo replied confidently, "Like I said before, whatever you want to do is fine by me, baby! You're here, you're safe, and you're truly healthy for the first time since I met you. What more could a guy ask for?" The positively radiant, totally honest smile this proclamation garnered burst into delighted laughter as he added with a snort that was almost reminiscent of a certain blond, "As far as the name thing goes, shit, babe, you can call yourself 'Rumplestiltskin' for all I care!"

"Oh, Gojyo, you're too much!" The former teacher admonished after the first actual peals of rich laughter Gojyo had ever heard from him dropped down to mere chuckles. In the midst of the mirth, Hakkai had pulled his hands to his mouth in a failed attempt to stifle his merriment and neither man minded the loss of the contact that had helped them through a difficult moment.

Far more satisfied with himself even than he'd been the night he'd returned from his drunken revelry since giving this one man true happiness meant more to him than any number of faceless sexual conquests, Gojyo leaned his chin on his hand and said, "Damn, that's a sweet sound, baby." With a fond smile he then apologized in advance, saying, "But all joking aside, I hope you can forgive me if I forget the name thing and call you 'Nanashi' every so often by mistake instead of 'Hakkai'. Granted, that name suits you a lot better than 'Gonou' did anyway." [5]

Both men noted his deliberate lack of comment pertaining to his various terms of endearment for the brunette. It was part of Gojyo's intrinsic nature to use nicknames for practically everyone he knew and it would take a much higher force than the Sanbutusin to ever convince him to not consider his dearest friend "baby" from time to time. Or, more realistically speaking, all of the time when they were alone at least.

To prove he was well aware of all of this, Hakkai merely replied, "Whatever you wish to call me will be fine, Gojyo." As he sipped his tea the corner of his eyes crinkled in delight as yet another blinding expression of happiness painted itself across his companion's face.

While Hakkai helped himself to a small rice ball from the tray fearing the proprietor might be disturbed if they failed to at least try the food he'd served them, he failed to notice a thoughtful look entering scarlet eyes that no longer reminded him of blood. Instead, they twinkled and glimmered like living jewels made of some fantastical solidified flames bringing him warmth and a sense of peace whenever he gazed at them.

Deciding to take what seemed like an awfully large risk, Gojyo nervously scratched at the terribly short hairs at the back of his neck and then asked hesitantly, "Um, uh, does that offer by any chance include letting me call you 'roommie' again any time soon?"

Noting the dumbfounded expression that crossed Hakkai's face following the question, the half-breed rushed to add even as his own face turned red with embarrassment for having said what he did, "Uh, that's assuming you were interested in putting down some roots in this little village of ours, of course. I mean, hell, you could've made some kinda deal with the Sanbu-whatever-you-called 'em and need to be somewhere else, I guess."

Realization that there was no reason a priori to assume that Hakkai even wanted to live near him much less with him, Gojyo's thoughts turned dark and he continued unhappily, "Well, shit, why would you want to stay here and all anyway? And, oh, fuck, forget I asked." Aghast due to his unexpected babbling, Gojyo dropped his head into his hands and wished he could erase what he'd just said yet knew that was impossible.

Too shocked and amazed to intervene when Gojyo's sudden avalanche of words had turned negative, Hakkai sat back, blinked his eyes a few times to make sure he wasn't imagining things, then inquired softly, "Did you just ask if I wanted to live with you again, Gojyo?"

Head hanging down and feeling incredibly foolish, Gojyo nodded then looked up intending on apologizing more yet the soft expression on his friend's handsome face changed that completely. Confidence carefully crawling its way back into his thoughts, he replied cautiously, "Um, yeah, that was pretty much what I was getting at, but…?" The inquiring tone at the end of his unfinished sentence was a hopeful one.

Brushing his bangs aside so that he could gaze at his companion unimpeded, Hakkai never realized he was wearing a wistful expression as he answered in surprise, "I hadn't allowed myself to even dare to hope to find a home so soon. Much less one as nice as what you are offering me since it was a very comfortable apartment that you had." A hint of a frown crossed his lips as he asked, "But are you certain you want me there? My presence seemed to interfere with your social life rather too much previously."

"Are you *kidding*?!" Gojyo asked in surprise of his own then rushed to reassure, "Who gives a damn about my social life? I sure don't at the moment! No, baby, don't give *that* issue a second thought. If you want to come stay at my place again, I'd be one helluva happy camper, that's for sure!"

With a soft intake of breath and the tiniest of bows of his head to show his acceptance as well as his gratitude, Hakkai agreed, saying, "Then by all means I shall accept your incredibly generous offer, Gojyo. Thank you so much."

With a smile whose brightness rivaled a supernova in intensity, Gojyo exclaimed delightedly, "Hot damn!!" Joy seemed to ripple out from him in waves as he added loudly, "That makes me so damned glad, I could just *kiss* you, baby!!"

A hint of rose raced across Hakkai's cheeks as more than one patron in the teahouse turned their heads to gaze at them curious about the loud proclamation. As he hid his reddened face behind one hand, he replied nervously, "I assure you that really isn't necessary."

Laughing a little and ignoring the people who had already lost interest in them, Gojyo winked at the person who would soon be his roommate once more and assured, "I was just kidding, Hakkai." Mischief danced in scarlet eyes as he then shrugged and corrected himself, "Well, maybe I'm just kidding. I'll decide later."

"Oh my, this should prove to be an interesting living arrangement," Hakkai sighed softly while smiling shyly and wondering what the future held for them both with this as its new beginning.

As he sipped at his tea, the verdant-eyed man silently noted that the rakish haircut his companion now bore reminded him of someone yet he couldn't figure out just who that might be. The fact that he failed to verbalize his appreciation for the new style would play into Gojyo's decision to grow it out again, a choice that would never have been made if the brunette mentioned liking it short. Then again, the memory of how pleasant it had been to sit together as he stroked a hairbrush through luxurious crimson waves had come to mind and Hakkai certainly didn't wish to be denied a chance to offer his friend that kindness someday in the future if he could.

Gojyo, however, was contemplating something else entirely.

The nineteen year old debated briefly whether or not to suggest that the two of them plan on finding a larger place to live, perhaps one with a proper bathroom and kitchen as well as separate bedrooms, but decided against it. Since Hakkai had specifically stated that he liked the little apartment they had shared during his recovery, that would be where they would remain for awhile at least.

Another bed would need to be added, of course, but once Gojyo considered that matter, it occurred to him he rather liked the idea that they share close quarters since he'd always slept well knowing his friend was nearby, something he was looking forward to already.

The lull in the conversation ended as Hakkai noted the bag of fruit Gojyo had set on the floor between them and inquired, "By the way, Gojyo, what are the apples for? Are you planning to make something with them?"

"Who? Me?" Gojyo asked with a chuckle, "You've seen the extent of my cooking skills, Hakkai. I'm no chef and I doubt that I'd create anything worth eating with them. No, actually, I thought we might go pay a visit to someone and it seemed like a good idea to bring something along if we did."

"Oh? Who might that be?" Hakkai asked, never once questioning the way Gojyo was already making plans for the two of them without asking, a trait he'd demonstrate over and over throughout their relationship.

Shaking his head and laughing a little more, Gojyo replied, "I owe a certain blond smartass a punch in the nose which I probably won't bother to give him and the monkey that hangs out with him is always hungry, hence the apples."

"Ah, I see," Hakkai nodded and smiled knowingly. "I, too, need to pay Sanzo and Goku a visit and it is a lovely day for a walk to their temple."

Glancing out a window and noticing the gloriously cloudless, azure sky above, Gojyo grinned and gestured towards it with his thumb saying, "Yeah, it's a great day out there for all sorts of things! Why don't we finish up our tea and stuff, then head out? Maybe get there in time for dinner with those two lunatics or something?"

"I believe that is an excellent suggestion," Hakkai agreed with a gentle nod of his head. He then reached for the plate of assorted snacks and offered it pointedly to his companion, a man he'd noticed seemed a little thinner and possibly not as healthy as he had been the last time he'd seen him.

Chuckling self-consciously since he realized what the other man was saying without words, Gojyo took something and ate it without paying any attention at all to the food. His focus was exclusively reserved for the man seated across from him as they chatted a bit longer enjoying their reunion to the fullest.

With a great deal of relief, Gojyo privately noted a fair number of improvements in his companion that went beyond whatever healing miracles Hakkai had experienced could have possibly accomplished.

The brunette's honest laughter and smiles were phenomenally encouraging as was the relaxed way in which he spoke unhesitatingly about almost any subject that arose between them. Yet the greatest change of all was the fact that he now seemed truly alive and interested in staying that way as opposed to the constant sense of impending death which had surrounded him previously. This was the most wondrous of gifts that Gojyo could have hoped for not only for his dearest friend, but also for himself and he was truly grateful to have been able to share it the way that they were.

Before long, the two men would find themselves once more on a path that lead away from the village that was to be their home for the next three years as they made their way to a reunion with two others whose destinies were intertwined with their own.

The quartet's time together would not be marred by violence as it had been previously, yet there were certain issues that needed to be laid to rest before life could get back to what passed for normal for them all. There were also plans to be made that would eventually lead them to a foreordained encounter with the fifth member of the group which would one day journey west together, but none of those involved would even be aware of it.

*****

To be concluded.

Author's Notes:

[1] I have no clue how much time actually elapsed between when Gonou left with Sanzo to go to the Sanbutusin and when the blond brought news of the brunette's "death" to the redhead. Therefore, I've chosen to imply that not even Gojyo himself knew how much time had passed and leave it at that.

[2] Gee, how many more of the anime's plot-holes do I need to fix? Sigh. Granted, this is one of the worst ones since Gojyo's door obviously has a bullet hole in it at one point in episode 15, yet it is unmarred within a short period of elapsed time within the action later.

[3] In a review at fanfiction.net, the very talented writer sf mentioned an interest in seeing the meeting between Sanzo, Gonou, and the Sanbutusin included here, but since this is primarily a Gojyo POV piece, it didn't fit. However, I did my best to include glimpses of that undisclosed discussion within Hakkai's narrative in this chapter and I hope that will please the person whose fanfiction I heartily recommend to anyone seeking an exciting story featuring the bishounen of "Saiyuki".

[4] Gojyo and Hakkai's reunion in the marketplace is easily one of my favorite non-angst scenes in the first season of "Saiyuki". I sincerely hope that those of you reading this will enjoy my expanded version of that encounter as well as the previously unrevealed discussion between them that leads to Hakkai's comment to Sanzo in episode16 about planning to live with Gojyo.

[5] Back in chapter 22, I included in an author's note a request for information on why Gojyo says he thought Gonou wasn't a good name for the man who would become Hakkai. Happily, kind JM on the GojyoxHakkaiML sent me the following information:

"I'm only speculating here, but I think it's how it's pronounced in Chinese. 'Gonou' in Chinese is 'wu neng', which sounds somewhat like 'not able' or 'good for nothing'.

"The 'wu' (which btw is the same first character that Gojyo and Goku have) actually means something ethereal, but pronounced in the wrong way it means 'nothing'. The 'neng' means able, so from that you get a weird sounding name. But it could be due to the fact that in the original legend Pigsy was very obnoxious and acted more like Gojyo (arguing with Goku, chasing skirts...) than the dear Hakkai we know."

Wow! That was a lot of help and I'm including it all here so everyone can gain a new appreciation for this part of Minekura-sensei's marvelous creation. Thanks again, JM!