Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Of Golden Eyes ❯ Silent Feelings ( Chapter 2 )

Of Golden Eyes

#2 - Silent Feelings

It was another peaceful day in Heaven. The sun shining bright, smiling upon the Earth, the sky a brilliant blue, teasing the clouds, everyone going about their own business as usual…nothing could be heard except for the occasional chirp of a bluebird or two. Kanzeon, was in fact, looking at her lily pond in complete boredom, cursing the lack of noise silently, wondering how was it that all the gods could put up with the damned silence. Looking down at her lilies, she bent down.

"How do you think they put up with the silence?"

The supposed Goddess of Mercy stood there, staring stupidly at the lilies as if expecting them to answer her question. The delicate pink blossoms danced in the wind, as though agreeing with her opinion. Kanzeon sighed, and stared up at the sky. Almost noon.

A smile found a way to her lips. Judging by the sun's direction, it was almost time.

Time for the ruckus to begin…

Countdown.

3,

2,

1...

A bloodcurdling (not to mention, furious) yell was heard out of nowhere.

Zero.

Kanzeon grinned, and twirled a finger around her black locks. 'It's good to know that something finally happened.' She stood up, and winked at her lotuses. 'What's Goku up to this time?'

****

"BAKASARU!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The said saru gulped, and ran away as fast as his legs could carry him. A certain golden-haired deity was hot on his trail, a vein popping out of his head and his face flushed with anger. The same guards sweat dropped at the scene, and shrugged. They didn't know what the young kid had done this time, but whatever it was, Konzen was mad. And they meant mad.

Unknown to the guards, Goku had gone a little too far this time (at least to Konzen)- it seemed, that Goku, out of nerve, and from a dare from Kenren and Tenpou (who still weren't satisfied at Konzen for getting back at them) had actually dared to give Konzen a kiss on the cheek.

/Flashback/

"Konzen...?"

"Nanda?" [What?]

The sound of the shuffling of documents could clearly be heard throughout the room.

Konzen, with much difficulty, shifted his gaze from the documents to the child standing next to him. For one moment there, he just gazed, and watched as those rare eyes reflected his deep violet eyes. Gazed into those huge golden orbs that showed no sign of guilt nor intention. Just innocence. Yes, the captivating aura of innocence that reflected the naivety of his soul.

He was still gazing into Goku's eyes when the child reached up to him, leaned forward, and placed a peck on his cheek. A little shiver of shock trembled through him at the mild skin on skin contact, at Goku's soft lips on his equally smooth cheek. The blonde was stunned for several seconds, before Goku stepped back, and prepared for the worst.

"WHAT THE HELL!!??"

Little did Konzen know, Kenren and Tenpou were eavesdropping from behind the door, and had secretly turned the doorknob, waiting for Goku's signal. But no - Konzen's yell was the only signal they needed. The redhead and brunette opened the door on cue, and Goku burst out like a streak of lightning. Konzen flung down his documents, blushing furiously, and proceeded to make a run for the door.

"Ready, Kenren?"

"You bet the hell I am, Tenpou. 3, 2, 1 - "

The two troublemakers slammed the door in Konzen's face, causing the unfortunate young deity to be thrown backwards. They then decided to run for it, but not without Konzen's immensely loud and immensely rude cursing following behind them when the blonde emerged from his room, red-faced, with a bump on his head. Kenren and Tenpou found it really, really hard to actually run, because they were trying, and failing, to resist the urge to double over laughing.

/End of Flashback/

It was one of the times now where Goku really hated it when he had his long, flowing, dark brown hair. For it was because whenever he turned in another opposite direction, his long hair clearly gave his path away. He gulped, not sure what the young blonde would do to him once he caught him, but still pondered over why Konzen was so mad. It was just a kiss anyway…not even a kiss, just a little peck on the cheek. What was wrong about that? Ten-chan said it was a sign of affection, so what if he showed Konzen that he cared for him?

Well yeah, he loved Konzen. So what?

Was it wrong to love someone? Wrong to show your affection for someone?

While he was thinking about it, Goku hadn't realized it had actually slowed down his movements. Though he was still running, it was barely a jog now, and he didn't sense the stealthy footsteps behind him, and a pair of outstretched hands.

A gloved hand grabbed hold of Goku's silky brown hair, and pulled it. Goku, gasping at the sudden force of pressure, looked behind, to only stare into the outraged and angry, not to mention furious, face of Konzen Douji. Goku gulped as he recognized the death glare that was in Konzen's glaring violet eyes.

"Uh...hi, Konzen... *sweat drop*"

Out of nowhere, a fist descended on Goku's scalp.

"ITAIIII!!!!"

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING, BAKASARU!?" Konzen shouted, withdrawing his hand, and fisted his golden hair in irritation. He waited for a response from the saru, but the child remained quiet. Deciding not to lose his temper yet, Konzen decided to wait a few more seconds. If he didn't answer, the saru was gonna -

"Are you mad, Konzen?"

Jerked out of his imaginary death threats, Konzen turned his gaze to the little child before him, who was, yes, looking up again at him with those huge, irresistible eyes. Konzen rolled his eyes, and cursed himself for letting himself be swooned by the oh-so-innocent golden orbs. A vein popped out on Konzen's forehead, and he snorted. "You bet I am, saru. In fact I'm so mad I'm going to drag you all the way back to the office and I'm going to - "

"Sorry."

Konzen blinked, stopping mid-way through his sentence. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made you mad."

'What the...' What the hell?

Goku clutched on Konzen's light-coloured robes, and buried his face into the older man's stomach. Konzen could feel the child's unruly hair on his belly, and he was about to ruffle Goku's hair, until he heard a small sob. The young deity was mildly surprised, and even more shocked when he felt sodden wetness on his robes. He slightly shifted Goku away, and bent down, trying to look into the boy's eyes. Goku avoided his gaze, and lowered his face, if possible, even lower.

Konzen sighed in irritation, and lifted up Goku's chin. In the fleeting instant where gold met violet, both were silent for a moment. The saru was crying. Fuck it, the saru was crying because of him. Trying to ignore the feeling of guilt that was slamming upon the walls of his conscience, Konzen actually wondered why he was mad. Come to think of it, it was only a peck on the cheek, and it wasn't as though the saru had actually done anything worth to be mad of to him.

Hell, he hated it when he was mad for no reason.

Finally, Konzen spoke.

"What makes you think I'm mad at you?"

Goku's eyes widened, and Konzen groaned inwardly. Not the eyes…

"You're not mad at me?" Goku asked, in a voice that was almost hopeful.

"Whoever said I'm not mad?" Konzen snorted, and stood up. "Hell, who wouldn't be mad after you did that? Why did you kiss me on the cheek anyway?" He asked, acting absolutely casual, but his heart was pounding like hell, awaiting the answer.

Konzen's golden hair reflected the sun's rays perfectly, and Goku found himself fixing a stare on the beautiful blonde man, the sun that he loved, and would always love. His sun.

Goku's gaze dropped. "Ai..." [Love...]

"Nanda?" [What?]

"Ai. Ken-nii-chan and Ten-chan were kissing when I found them in Ten-chan's room...and..."

Konzen snickered. Goku had the amazing ability to stumble upon people in the most unfortunate situations, and the most corrupted situations as well. And yet, he still remained innocent, despite the numerous occasions he rushed in upon Kenren and Tenpou doing their uh, business. Konzen had the slightest suspicion that the two mischievous lovers were behind today's prank on him.

"And?"

"Ten-chan said that you normally kiss the one you love...and when Ten-chan said that, I thought of you, Konzen, since you're the one I love the most!!" Goku said, a wide and adorable smile on his lips, his golden eyes shining.

Konzen let the answer sank in, and nodded. "So you kissed me because you love me the most - WHAT!?"

It was a few seconds before he realized what Goku just said. Konzen was speechless. "You. Love. Me? The most?" he stammered, trying to steady himself and his whirling emotions. Konzen cursed the heavens as he heard his mind's voices arguing again for the second time his life.

Maa, maa, Konzen. There you go again.

Bloody hell, he actually said he loved you!! Are you a lucky man or what?

Well, now we know you're not having a one-sided love. *snicker*

Okay, he's quite beautiful. Maybe you don't have such bad taste after all.

Hey, man, what the hell are you waiting for?

He's twelve! You can't do anything to him, he's too damn innocent!

I said it before, and I'll say it again: Fuck the bloody age rule.

Konzen growled in annoyance at the voices. 'Just shut up, dammit!'

"Yeah!" Goku said happily, regaining the genki self he had been earlier. "Daisuki, Konzen!!" [I love you, Konzen!] He leaped onto Konzen and hugged him tightly. Konzen felt dizzy, and tried to steady himself. 'Bloody hell, you're getting turned on by a saru! Not just a saru, but a twelve year-old saru!!' His mind yelled.

'Shut up! Like I don't know already, you fucking muse!!' He yelled unconsciously back.

Goku looked up at Konzen, and he was wearing a puzzled expression.

"What?" Konzen muttered, feeling irritated, tired and totally annoyed. If the saru asked another stupid question, the saru was definitely going to get it.

"Konzen, why do you feel hard between your legs?" Goku asked innocently.

That did it. Goku yelped as for the second time that day, a fist landed squarely on his head.

"ITAI YO!!!"

"Don't ask stupid questions," Konzen snarled, blushing furiously, and turned his back. "Ikuzo, we're going back." As he started to walk, he saw Goku gazing longingly at his hands. Deciding not to say anything, Konzen shifted his gaze forward, in case the monkey asked another unanswerable or embarrassing question, but not before he felt a soft tug on his blonde hair.

Konzen was about to turn around and tell Goku off, but decided not to, in case the saru thought he was angry again. Somehow or other, he couldn't explain how come it was he didn't want the saru to be afraid of him. To be scared. Not of him.

Even after holding Konzen's long golden hair, Goku was still looking longingly at the older one's gloved hands. The young child sighed softly. The hands he wanted to grasp, but could not hold. The same thing went with Konzen. The sun that he wanted and loved, but could not have. His shining, beautiful sun…

Konzen cursed under his breath. 'Why is the kid so fucking scared of me? Why can't he tell me what's bothering him when he needs to? Am I such a bloody bastard?' His senses focused on the small hand which was holding tightly onto his hair. 'I, Konzen Douji, can't even be a good guardian for a little kid. How the hell can I love him?'

It was with shock that Konzen realized the last few words he just thought.

'I? Love him? How could I possibly love him?'

He was denying it, but then, there was the truth, shoving itself into his face.

There was only one word to describe the situation.

Fuck.

****

That night, Konzen was still pondering over his feelings. The naked truth exposing itself before him - well, he didn't know what to do about that. But the fact that Goku actually said he loved him? He snorted. Was the saru actually capable of loving? Being as innocent as he was, he probably didn't even know what it was like to love somebody. Plus, did he actually love Goku in the first place? God knows, it could have been just a sexual frustration, or something else.

He groaned as his mind screamed, 'For hell's sake~! Here's your golden opportunity!'

"Shut the hell up," Konzen murmured angrily, to whoever it was that was inhabiting his mind.

Staring up at the ceiling, the young deity was silent for a few moments. His cold violet eyes scanned the ceiling, and his mind was still screaming insults at him. His conscience and his mind were currently at a one-to-one battle, with mind leading 7-1. And he didn't like that one bit.

"That's it. If I stay here any longer, my fucking mind is gonna drive me insane."

And Konzen left for Goku's room.

****

Konzen opened the door, and stepped inside without a sound.

The room was in utter darkness. There wasn't even a candle nor even a tiny speck of light in the room. Besides the midnight blackness in the room, the room was also deadly quiet. The silence resonation in the room shook Konzen, and he wondered why Goku was quiet tonight. Konzen lit a candle, and placed it on the cupboard. The bulge in the bed was silent, and Konzen had the feeling that Goku would, remain silent.

"Goku...?" he whispered.

It was when he moved a few steps forward, did he detect a small sob coming from the huddled figure in the bed. It was soft, but a sob nonetheless. Konzen was surprised, and he sat down on the bed. Sensing the other being in the room, Goku shot upright, and found himself staring into Konzen's deep violet eyes.

Konzen felt his breath catch in his chest. Goku had been crying. But for what?

"Why are you crying?"

Silence.

"Answer when I ask you a question, saru."

"...Dark..."

"What?"

"The dark." Goku's shoulder's shook as his murmured those words. "I'm scared...of the dark. Always been scared. There was always darkness...and there was no sun. When I was born below, there was no sun for me to turn to. There were only people...people who couldn't care less about me." Goku laughed bitterly.

"And there still are those who hate me, despise me... But then...now, I've found my sun. The sun of my life. Konzen. You're my sun."

Another tear cascaded down Goku's smooth bronze cheek.

"But you're not here... not here when I need the sun. Not here with me in the darkness. So...I guess you hate me too, right? Konzen? You despise me like the others do, don't you - "

His words were cut off when Konzen suddenly crushed his mouth to Goku's, unable to control himself any longer. Goku's eyes widened in shock, but gave in into the kiss. At the first touch of skin contact, he shuddered at the shiver of pleasure that surged through him. Strangely enough, just the muffled touch of their lips caused what remained of Goku's sane mind drown into a whirl of intoxicating sensations.

It had been several moments since the lip-lock had been performed. Konzen released Goku, and held him at arm's length, gazing into his eyes. As deep violet reflected gold, Goku's eyes were wide. Goku opened his mouth to say something, but Konzen silenced him with another kiss. Leaving Goku's lips, Konzen leaned towards Goku, so close that they were almost nose to nose.

"I don't hate you, Goku."

The young child's eyes grew larger, and Konzen felt himself drowning in the depths of those golden eyes again. 'Not the eyes!' His mind screamed.

"Really?" Goku asked, hope clinging to every syllable he uttered.

"Yeah." Konzen nodded. "I..."

'Doesn't he know how I feel about him?'

He stopped his sentence mid-way. Konzen rose to leave the room, but not before two bronze arms wrapped around his waist. He felt Goku burrowing his head into his back, and Konzen stopped abruptly.

"Konzen...can you stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone."

Konzen sighed, and though Goku didn't see it, he smiled. "I don't know what to do with you..." He sat down on Goku's bed, and settled down next to Goku. As Goku slept next to him, Konzen brought him into an embrace, and nuzzled his face in Goku's silky brown hair.

"Sleep, love..." he murmured. "I'm here."

'Aishiteru...' [I love you]

****

[A/N] Omigosh, that was darn long!!! O.o For me, yeah. Man, that sucked. I didn't mean for the sappy romance thing part to come so early, but - well, you can't trust me when it comes to these things. T___T How out of character can Konzen get? *sobs in a corner* I'm so sorry if anyone hates this chapter...Gomenasai!! Gawd, the sappiness...sob, sob...I'm really, really sorry...