Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Saiyuki Serial: Beautifully Broken Evolution ❯ 14 Hold Back The Night ( Chapter 14 )

Author's Note: None of the lovelies of Saiyuki belong to me and all rights apply to the fantastic creators who do own them. I don't make anything off this but satisfying my own perverted desires.

 

~ indicates POV

 

Self-beta job. All fuck-ups are mine alone.

Thanks goes to Lillie for reading this over for me.

 

14Hold Back The Night

 

~Hakkai~

 

Gojyo refused to tell me what happened between him and Sanzo. I knew the monk hurt him terribly. I'd seen that plain enough when Gojyo came downstairs shortly after Sanzo. As far as I knew, they weren't sleeping together any more either. Sanzo was even more sullen than normal and Gojyo wouldn't even rise to the bait of fighting with Goku.

 

Poor Goku repeatedly asked what was wrong with Sanzo and Gojyo. He was naive not stupid. He almost worshiped Sanzo and he was puzzled at the extreme brooding silences and moody looks the monk would turn Gojyo's way. Goku finally stopped asking Sanzo what was wrong when he creased the monkey's ear with a well placed shot and the demand to leave him alone.

 

Goku's pestering of Gojyo died a fast death when instead of fighting with him; Gojyo ruffled Goku's hair and told him he'd be back to his usual self soon. Goku had stared at Gojyo in open-mouthed shock for several seconds before turning his confused gaze to me. I'd smiled at him and asked what he'd like for supper, hoping to distract him from Gojyo's odd behaviour with the promise of food.

 

A full two weeks passed since whatever happened between Gojyo and Sanzo. The more I studied them, the angrier I felt myself getting at Sanzo. It took me a few days to realize what was wrong with Gojyo. He was angry and heartsick and there was no amount of chi healing I could do to fix that. I wondered when he'd fallen for the bitchy monk. I thought they were simply enjoying each other. I would have cautioned Gojyo against developing deeper feelings for Sanzo had I known he was starting to feel that way. Not that I thought it would've done much good. The heart wants what it wants and logic or reason has very little to do with that.

 

I sighed as I drank my sake alone in my room. The inn we were staying at was decent enough and Sanzo unexpectedly sprang for separate rooms for all of us. I thought it was because of the weather. The sound of the rain hitting the roof and gurgling down the drainpipes made me wish that I didn't handle my drink quite so well. I swallowed another mouthful of sake and tried to ignore the noise of the rain. Neither Sanzo nor I liked a lot of company when it rained. Whether it was a gentle fall or a raging torrent, the rain brought out painful memories for both of us.

 

I watched the rain fall and thought about lost love and opportunities. I'd lost Kanna and nearly my life in the rain. Sanzo lost his teacher during the rain and I suspected that he'd loved that man and seen him as some sort of father figure. I sighed again. I was turning melancholy when I started to think of the rain as tears from heaven, crying for all that might have been for us. There was a heaviness in my chest and suddenly, I didn't want to be alone. I picked up the half empty sake bottle and headed for Gojyo's room. Since he had saved my life that rainy night, he'd become my port in the storm. He was the one I turned to when I needed to not feel so alone.

 

I knocked softly on his door and thought he might've gone out when I didn't get an answer. I was turning away when the door opened. Gojyo stood there wearing only his jeans and a surprised look on his face.

 

“Hakkai?”

 

“May I join you for a while?” I asked as I held the sake bottle up, giving it a little shake.

 

“Sure,” Gojyo said as he stepped back from the door and motioned me inside.

 

I entered the room and stopped in surprise. My room had a small bed, a tiny table and a chair. The only furniture in Gojyo's room was a night table and a large bed that took up most of the available space. I smiled in genuine amusement at that. Of course Gojyo would end up with the biggest bed and nothing else in the room. He was the playboy of our little group. Or at least he had been until he'd taken up with Sanzo and gotten hurt in the process.

 

“What's up Hakkai?” Gojyo asked as he picked up his drink and settled himself against the headboard. Apparently I wasn't the only one drinking tonight.

 

“I didn't feel like being alone tonight,” I said as I gestured to the rain falling outside.

 

“Ah, shit. I'm sorry, Hakkai. I wasn't thinking. Come here,” Gojyo said as he patted a spot on the bed beside him.

 

I sat where he indicated and leaned back. Gojyo's arm came around my shoulder and some of the tension left my body. When Gojyo and I lived together, he'd always hold me close when it rained. I'd been so very fragile then. Gojyo seemed to know that and he'd given me the simple, undemanding warmth of human contact I needed to help me deal with the emotional pain the rain triggered.

 

We sat quietly on the big bed and drank as we listened to the rain fall. Both of us were lost in thought, dealing with fresh and old pains. It could've been hours or minutes that we sat there when Gojyo spoke softly.

 

“The hurt eventually stops, doesn't it, Hakkai?”

 

“It gets duller,” I answered. I didn't need to ask what or who he was talking about. I knew it was about whatever happened between him and Sanzo.

 

“I didn't mean for it to happen. It just… did. I didn't sleep around on him. I haven't even slept with anyone since he pushed me away. Why'd he do that, Hakkai?” Gojyo asked in a voice that was a mix of pain, anger and confusion.

 

Rain, alcohol and heartache were a deadly combination. I really wanted to hurt Sanzo. Gojyo was an amazingly giving person to those he cared about. To treat him so badly when all he wanted to do was give Sanzo the most precious gift another person could… I wanted to beat some sense into Sanzo.

 

“I don't know, Gojyo. We all have personal issues to deal with. Maybe Sanzo just needs time to work things out in his head.”

 

“It's been two weeks, Hakkai. If he was going to work shit out in his head, he'd have done it by now. I thought I could make it work. I really did. Fuck this sucks.”

 

My free hand gripped Gojyo's thigh and I gave it a gentle squeeze. Gojyo fell silent again and leaned his head against mine. He drew random patterns over my arm and drank his beer. I felt more than heard the sigh and turned my head at the same time Gojyo did. Our lips brushed, startling both of us.

 

“Hakkai, I didn't…” Gojyo began.

 

I pressed my fingers to his lips and smiled softly at him. The contact had been brief and accidental. I knew he was still hurting and angry and now wasn't the best time for something like this but I couldn't help the feeling of longing, the need for the comforting touch of another person that the touch of his lips caused. I didn't want to be alone with my memories of the rain. I didn't think Gojyo wanted to be alone with his thoughts and pain any more than I did. Maybe we could both make each other feel a little better.

 

I grasped Gojyo's chin and turned his head. He had a moment of surprise before my mouth met his in a real kiss that was all about desire and how much I cared for him. He moaned softly into my mouth and kissed me back with startling hunger and need. Gojyo was the one who pulled away from the kiss.

 

“If I'd have known you kissed that good, I would've wrestled you to the bed ages ago,” he said with a teasing smile in his voice.

 

I laughed softly at that. Even if Gojyo had enjoyed a kiss with me before, he'd respected my need to deal with my grief too much to force his attentions on me. For all his playboy airs, he was a gentleman at heart.

 

I took the remaining beer from him and placed the cans on the night table with my now empty sake bottle. I turned back to him and covered his mouth again with my lips as I let my hands roam over his naked chest. He made sounds of approval in his throat and began working on the buttons of my shirt. I only stopped caressing him long enough to help remove my shirt.

 

“Are you okay with this, Gojyo? I know you have feelings for Sanzo…”

 

“He doesn't return them, Hakkai. I just need…” Gojyo said as he looked at me intently, willing me to understand.

 

“The comfort of a good friend,” I finished for him. Gojyo nodded and looked relieved that I'd known what he was saying. I didn't agree with what Gojyo said about Sanzo not returning his feelings but it wasn't my place to say how Sanzo did or didn't feel.

 

His skin was satin smooth under my hands and I wanted to touch all of him. I gave him a gentle push to lie on his back and began kissing my way down his throat and over his chest. His hand skimmed over my shoulders and he groaned his appreciation when I kissed his nipples erect. His fingers tangled in my hair as I moved down his chest, licking and placing nibbling kisses over his ribs and belly. Gojyo moaned softly when I slipped my fingers under the waistband of his jeans to tease the head of his cock as my tongue dipped into his navel.

 

I continued to kiss and lick his belly as I lowered the fly on his jeans. He hummed his approval when I spread the material and ran a finger over his length. He wriggled his hips and his hands left my hair to help me take his jeans off. I pulled the jeans from him and simply stared at him spread out before me.

 

“Hakkai, I want to see you too,” Gojyo said in a husky voice.

 

“Of course. It would be rude to leave you as the only nude person in the room,” I said with a smile.

 

Gojyo laughed and propped himself up on his elbows to watch me undress. I moved from the bed and undid my fly. I was about to push my pants off but stopped and gave Gojyo a serious look. I didn't want there to be any guilt or regret on Gojyo's part later. I would not cause Gojyo more pain just because I wanted to ease my loneliness with someone I cared about and who cared for me in return.

 

“Are you sure about this, Gojyo?”

 

“Yeah. I need this right now, Hakkai,” Gojyo said with a wealth of complex emotions in his voice.

 

I nodded and smiled in understanding. I wasn't being used as a substitute for Sanzo. I was Gojyo's best friend. He wanted and needed the closeness and support he knew he could get from me. He loved me as a friend and he needed me to ease his hurt. He needed to lose himself in the arms of someone who loved him back. I was more than willing to do that for him. My heart would always belong to Kanna in a romantic sense. Gojyo and I had an intimacy of friendship few people ever got to experience. It was a love that was just as real as what I felt for Kanna but with a different flavour to it. There was very little I wouldn't do for Gojyo or him for me.

 

I shed my pants, underwear, socks and shoes. I hid a smile when Gojyo grumbled his impatience with my folding everything neatly and stowing it away in the drawer of the night table before joining him again on the bed.

 

He pulled me down into his arms and held me tight to him for several seconds. Gojyo rolled us to our sides and he pressed his face into my neck and gave a heartfelt sigh. He loosened his hold and stroked his hands over my back before he pressed our groins together. I dipped my head and began kissing his throat and collarbone. His sounds of arousal excited me further and I slipped my hands over his ass and squeezed. He rocked his hips against mine and groaned as a shudder travelled through his body at the intimate contact. I thought Sanzo was a fool for willingly giving up all Gojyo wanted to offer him.

 

“I… I don't think I can last very long, Hakkai,” Gojyo panted as his hands roamed my back and ass.

 

“We have the rest of the night, if you want.”

 

Gojyo tilted my face up and my breath caught at the look in his ruby red eyes. Guilt for enjoying my touch and body when his heart lay elsewhere. Pleasure at finding me willing to share his bed. Hurt and anger from Sanzo's rejection of him. The love of a good friend.

 

I kissed Gojyo with all the desire, tenderness and yes, love I felt for him. He shivered and a subtle tension left his body when he realized that I needed him as much as he needed me this rainy night. My kiss let him know that I'd never reject him as Sanzo had. He cupped the back of my head and began an easy rocking motion with his hips. I reached between us and grasped our cocks and began pumping them together.

 

“Fuck, Hakkai, that feels good. I really won't last if you do that,” he whispered against my lips.

 

I smiled against his mouth and encouraged him to move faster. I didn't care how long either one of us lasted. This wasn't about the sex. This was about caring and letting him know that he did have someone who loved him even if it wasn't the one he'd given his heart away to. Gojyo broke the kiss and closed his eyes as he moaned soft words of pleasure. His fingers dug into my hips and he cried out as he peaked. The feel of his seed spurting through my fingers brought on my own orgasm. I gasped and shivered as Gojyo's tongue traced the edge of my ear, lingering a few seconds over the warm metal of the limiters.

 

I let the cocks in my hand go and pushed gently against Gojyo. He tightened his grip on me briefly and nuzzled my neck before letting go. I rose from the bed and retrieved a handkerchief to clean us both. Once clean, I turned out the light and crawled back into bed with Gojyo. He remembered my preference for sleeping with my back to the wall and drew me back into his embrace once I'd settled myself. He nuzzled my hair and kissed me softly.

 

“Thanks, Hakkai,” he rasped as he hugged me hard.

 

There was a wealth of love and affection in those simple words and I tucked them away carefully as the precious gift I knew them to be. Sanzo had better come to his senses soon or I was going to end up having to do him some serious bodily harm for continuing to put Gojyo through this kind of heart ache. In a very short period of time, I felt Gojyo's body relax and his breathing deepen. I kissed him lightly and could've sworn I heard him mumble Sanzo's name. I sighed, knowing it hadn't been an intentional slight and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep in the welcome comfort of Gojyo's arms.

 

A quiet string of curses woke me from a light sleep. Gojyo slumbered on and I carefully peered over his shoulder. In the dim, rainy light from the window I recognized Sanzo's shape. I remained still and quiet and watched as he approached the bed. He stood at the edge of the bed and reached out a hand to touch Gojyo. He hadn't noticed me yet in the shadows between Gojyo and the wall.

 

Sanzo played a finger over the hair that always stuck up from Gojyo's head. Gojyo groaned in his sleep and I was surprised to feel his cock harden against my leg. Sanzo continued to stroke Gojyo's hair and sounds of arousal began to leak from Gojyo's throat. When he rolled to his back, he took the covers with him, exposing me. Sanzo's hand froze and he met my eyes in surprise before he backed away. His lip curled up in a sneer. Because of the dim light of the room, I couldn't be sure but I thought I saw a look of hurt resignation in his eyes. He started to turn away when Gojyo's hand shot out and captured the monk's wrist. I wondered how long he'd been awake and how long he would have pretended to be asleep if I hadn't been revealed. Was he that hungry for Sanzo's touch that he'd pretend to be asleep just to experience it?

 

“Why are you here, Sanzo? I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with me,” Gojyo said with anger in his voice.

 

Sanzo glared at Gojyo and yanked on his trapped wrist. Gojyo kept his grip firmly on Sanzo and sat up. There was no way my being naked in bed with an equally naked Gojyo could be seen in a positive light by Sanzo. Not when it was clear to me that the monk regretted breaking off their relationship.

 

“Why are you here, Sanzo?” Gojyo repeated with a little hurt finding its way into his tone.

 

“Let. Go,” Sanzo ground out as he pulled against Gojyo's hold on him.

 

“No. You came into my room in the middle of the night after ignoring me for two weeks. I want to know why you're here. I'm not just a convenient body for you to use whenever the mood strikes you.”

 

“Looks like you're being very accommodating for Hakkai,” Sanzo said as his gaze swept over us.

 

“Some people can accept friendship and affection,” Gojyo snapped.

 

Sanzo flinched at the accusation and pieces of the puzzling behaviour between Sanzo and Gojyo fell into place for me. Gojyo must have let something slip to Sanzo about how he felt. Sanzo probably reacted to that by trying to distance himself from Gojyo. Gojyo would have immediately seen that as a rejection of him. I sighed softly. We were all so badly screwed up mentally. I wanted to help them fix their relationship. They had been, if not happy, then content with each other for a while. The light of my life was gone but they could still have a chance at happiness if they could work past this misunderstanding.

 

“Sanzo doesn't like the rain either, Gojyo,” I gently reminded him.

 

I heard Gojyo draw in a quick breath. He still kept a firm grip on Sanzo's wrist but I noticed that his thumb began to soothingly stroke the thin skin on the underside of the monk's wrist.

 

“Is that why you're here, Sanzo? Do you need to forget about why you hate the rain?” Gojyo asked softly.

 

“I don't need anything,” Sanzo snarled.

 

Gojyo flinched and let go of Sanzo's arm like he'd been burned. I really, really wanted to smack Sanzo in that instant. I knew he could be a selfish bastard but he was hurting Gojyo again with his attitude and words and I simply couldn't let that happen right in front of me and do nothing. What kind of friend would that make me?

 

Sanzo whirled away and stalked to the door. I pulled the sheet from the bed and wrapped it toga-style before moving after him. I slipped between him and the door, slapped the light on and pinned him with one of my best “you're-going-to-listen” gazes. Sanzo blinked in the sudden brightness and glared at me but I refused to move. What I had to say needed to be said whether Sanzo wanted to hear it or not.

 

“Gojyo is a generous person to those he cares about. I came to him tonight because of the rain. When we lived together, he often held me when it rained. He did it because he cared about me and wanted to help.”

 

“I don't see how being naked helps. Unless it cuts down on the time between the first grope and sliding cock into ass.”

 

Sanzo was being deliberately provoking. I knew that. He was upset that it looked like Gojyo and I'd had sex. I suppose, technically, we did before we fell asleep. But it wasn't the type of sex that Sanzo was insinuating. It hadn't been anything at all like what Sanzo was suggesting. I didn't think Sanzo would understand the difference.

 

“We never had sex. He just held me through the night and rain.”

 

“You expect me to believe that?” Sanzo asked with a snort.

 

“It doesn't matter what you believe, Sanzo. Gojyo is willing to be there for you. He wants to be there for you. I'm telling you what you can have if you want it and are brave enough to take a chance,” I said, fast running out of patience with Sanzo and his stubborn insistence on not needing anyone or anything.

 

Sanzo looked at me in shock. I never spoke to anyone as I'd just spoken to him. I was always the soul of decorum. But… there were times when being polite just didn't work anymore. This was one of those times. It was either speak my mind or beat the living daylights out of Sanzo. Talking seemed the better alternative despite the strong urge to punch Sanzo.

 

From Sanzo's expression, I could see he was torn between wanting to deny that he needed anyone or anything and the desire to accept what was being offered. Gojyo rose from the bed and came to stand beside us. He was unashamed in his nudity and I saw the little flash of desire in Sanzo's eyes before he averted his gaze.

 

“Everybody needs support at some point, Sanzo. You wouldn't have come here tonight if you didn't need it. Unbend your damn pride for a little while. We won't tell anyone that you needed some comfort. What you did to me was shitty and I'm still mad about it but I don't abandon a friend who needs me. I do still see you as a friend. Hakkai is a big enough man to admit when he needs someone, are you?” Gojyo asked with a challenge in his voice as he took my hand and led me back to the bed. He never looked back at Sanzo, leaving him to make his own decision.

 

Gojyo settled against the headboard and pulled me against his side. I watched in amazement as Sanzo scowled at Gojyo before stomping back to the bed. He stood there and clenched and unclenched his fists before moving to sit on the bed. Gojyo stopped him with a raised hand.

 

“Undress,” Gojyo commanded softly as he held Sanzo's gaze.

 

Sanzo glared at Gojyo and I thought I could hear him grinding his teeth together. He was pissed at finding me naked with Gojyo. He was mad and hurt that it looked like Gojyo had already moved on to his next bed mate. Sanzo looked like he wanted to drag Gojyo from the bed and stake a personal claim on him. The look Sanzo directed to me wasn't friendly by any stretch of the imagination. Matter of fact, there was a challenging look in his eyes that had me thinking furiously as to what that could possibly mean. Anybody could plainly see that I didn't view Gojyo as a potential bed partner in the way we acted around each other. I loved Gojyo as a friend not as a lover.

 

Not that I'd refuse him my bed if he came to me. We were talking about Sha Gojyo here.

 

Sanzo completely stunned me when he complied with Gojyo's demand. I'd seen Sanzo nude before but he was still beautiful to look at. He pointedly looked at the sheet I was still wrapped in. I unwound the sheet from my body and Gojyo motioned Sanzo to the spot beside him. Sanzo sat next to Gojyo, close but not touching him. Gojyo sighed and threw his arm around the monk and pulled him close. I heard a soft sigh from both Gojyo and Sanzo at the contact although I was sure it hadn't been intentional on either of their parts.

 

I spread the sheet over all three of us and snuggled into Gojyo's side. He turned his head and brushed my ear with his lips. He breathed a `thank you' before he turned his head back. I slid a hand over his stomach and gave him a tight hug. Sanzo noticed my arm around Gojyo's waist and narrowed his gaze at me. He may not have wanted to need Gojyo but the expression on the monk's face spoke of possession.

 

Silence descended on the room. I enjoyed the caress of Gojyo's hand over my back and listened to the steady beat of his heart under my ear that drowned out the sound of the rain. I heard the rustling movements of Sanzo as he shifted restlessly against Gojyo. Gojyo sighed and eventually pushed the monk's head down onto his chest. Our foreheads touched and I met Sanzo's eyes with my own.

 

“Let him relax you and make you forget for a little while,” I said quietly.

 

Sanzo opened his mouth in protest. I cupped his cheek, ignoring his startled reaction.

 

“He needs this too, Sanzo,” I murmured hoping Sanzo would understand.

 

Sanzo glared then frowned for several seconds before understanding dawned in his eyes. His lashes fluttered down to hide his expression but I knew I saw a flash of guilt before his eyes closed. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing that Sanzo had come to Gojyo's room when he did. I saw Sanzo relax as Gojyo stroked his hand over the monk's back as he was doing to me. I closed my eyes and let the comfort and pleasure of being held wash over me. The sound of the rain was a distant thing and I allowed myself to just float in the comfort of being with someone who cared.

 

I cracked my eyes open when I heard a pleasure filled sigh from Gojyo. Sanzo's eyes were closed and his lips were slightly parted. His hand was on Gojyo's chest, his fingers brushing back and forth over Gojyo's nipple. I shot a glance up to Gojyo's face and blinked at the naked delight I saw. I looked down Gojyo's body and watched his cock stir to life under the sheet. The faintest tinges of arousal began to scent the air and I felt my own dick start to harden against Gojyo's leg. The hand rubbing my back paused for a fraction of a second at feeling my erection before resuming. The feel of the caress from Gojyo changed from easy comfort to gently arousing as I heard Gojyo's heart rate pick up. Gojyo was one of the most sensual people I knew and I doubted he even consciously realized how his touch changed.

 

I watched in utter fascination as Sanzo's tongue flicked out to moisten his lips and brushed against Gojyo's chest. Gojyo sucked in a sharp breath and Sanzo opened his eyes to stare at me. Want and need swirled through his purple eyes. He flicked out his tongue again in a little cat-like lick to Gojyo's chest. Challenge was in his gaze.

 

I thought I understood what that challenge was about. Sanzo still wanted Gojyo and the bitchy monk wasn't big on sharing. For someone who claimed to not need or want anything, he certainly wanted to have Gojyo all to himself. An idea formed in my mind to push the two of them together. They'd both been surly and moody since they stopped sleeping with each other. As difficult as I found to understand, I believed they needed one another. If I played Sanzo's little challenging game and let him win…. I smiled at him and enjoyed his wary confusion for a few seconds before I moved forward and captured his lips with mine.

 

As soon as Sanzo got over the initial shock of my kissing him, he rose to the dare and began to kiss me back. The kiss was rough, aggressive and dominant. It was also arousing. I countered the roughness and aggression with forceful gentleness. We fought for control of the kiss until Gojyo spoke.

 

“Sanzo? Hakkai?” Gojyo asked in a softly confused voice.

 

We broke the kiss and stared at each other. I smiled at Sanzo and nodded my head towards Gojyo letting the monk know I understood the earlier dare. Sanzo shrugged his shoulder and his eyes held a possessive gleam. We both turned to Gojyo and attacked his nipples with our mouths. Gojyo gasped and groaned as his body jerked under the dual assault.

 

I played with his nipple gently between my teeth, alternating easy nibbles with light suction. His hand abandoned my back to tangle and stroke through my hair. Soft sounds of arousal worked their way out of Gojyo along with sharp grunts and hisses. I glanced over at Sanzo to find he was tormenting the sensitive nub of flesh with hard bites and strong suction that had Gojyo fisting his hand tight in the monk's hair.

 

I let my hand slide over Gojyo's ribs, playing my fingers lightly over the bones. His sigh of pleasure at the touch turned into an erotic hiss. I glanced over at Sanzo to find that he was scoring Gojyo's ribs with his blunt nails. I looked up into Gojyo's face and saw his enjoyment of gentle pleasure war with the desire for a darker kind of arousal. I glanced back at Sanzo and saw satisfaction in his face. He knew what Gojyo enjoyed sexually better than I did and it was starting to look like I wasn't going to have to let Sanzo win anything. For some reason, that stung my pride.

 

I changed tactics. Sanzo had challenged me and I did intend to let him win, for Gojyo's sake, but that didn't mean I'd make it easy for him. I could be just as aggressive as Sanzo. Obviously, Gojyo was enjoying it from Sanzo so I had no reason to believe he wouldn't enjoy the same from me. Besides, I'd already had an easy loving with Gojyo earlier and the idea of not having to be so careful with my strength and desires was both intriguing and arousing.

 

I'd never trusted myself to indulge in my rougher fantasies before or after becoming a demon. Kanna had been a gentle, giving woman and to be rough with her would have broken something inside me. I'd pushed those darker desires down and showered her with all the gentle pleasures I could. After I became a demon, letting those dangerous urges out seemed fool hardy and reckless. I was anything but that.

 

This opportunity being dangled in front of me was just too much temptation to resist. Gojyo, being half-demon, could take large amounts of damage and heal relatively quickly. I knew he enjoyed kink. I couldn't have lived with the man for as long as I did without knowing that. I simply never, in my wildest dreams, thought I'd have an express invitation to try some with him. A thrill of anticipation chased its way down my spine.

 

I dragged my own blunt nails across Gojyo's belly and had the pleasure of seeing those firm muscles tense and hearing his sharply indrawn breath. Sanzo raised an eyebrow at me and I smiled at him while casually shrugging a shoulder. Surprise flickered in his eyes and the barest hint of a smile graced his mouth. Sanzo shocked me by reaching out and pinching my nipple hard. My little pained gasp turned to a soft sound of need I wasn't even aware I could make. The stinging pleasure was better than I imagined it would be.

 

“Hakkai?” Gojyo asked with concern in his voice.

 

“I'm fine. It's good,” I replied in a low voice as I reached out to return the favour to Sanzo.

 

Sanzo hissed and bit his lip at the sharp pinch of my fingernails on his nipple. He twisted his body away from my touch and I felt colour climb into my cheeks at the blatant rejection. Gojyo grabbed my wrist and my attention with his quiet voice.

 

“Sanzo has very sensitive nipples, Hakkai. Play gentle with them but be as rough as you like with the rest of him.”

 

“Shut the fuck up, Gojyo,” Sanzo snapped as a rosy blush crawled up his neck and into his cheeks.

 

“Sanzo,” Gojyo chided, “You know the rules about pleasure and pain when you're in bed with me. No real hurt gets done.”

 

Sanzo muttered and glared at Gojyo. He wouldn't look at me and what I first took for rejection, I now recognized as embarrassment at having an intimate, personal secret revealed. He reached out and fingered the hair sticking up from Gojyo's head with a superior little smirk. Gojyo cried out sharply and his body went rigid.

 

“Should I tell Hakkai about these? Do you want your personal kinks known to everyone?” Sanzo asked in a rough voice.

 

I didn't know what Sanzo was doing, but Gojyo was suddenly panting and his eyes filled with lust. The hand that still held my wrist tightened briefly before letting go and groping in my lap until he closed his fingers around my erection. A little groan left me at the firm grip as Gojyo ran his thumb over the head.

 

“Sanzo, what are you doing to Gojyo?” I asked a little breathlessly from the erotic stroking of Gojyo's hand over my cock.

 

“Did you know these are antenna and that they're very sensitive?”

 

I shook my head no and found myself having to concentrate on what Sanzo was saying. Gojyo's fingers playing over my cock were a very arousing distraction. Gojyo never mentioned he had antenna and truthfully, I'd never thought to ask why he couldn't seem to control a few wayward strands when he was always careful about his hair and how it looked. As far as I could tell, Sanzo was doing nothing more than stroking one gently yet Gojyo was reacting like he was getting the best blow job of his life. I reached out a hand but hesitated before touching the antenna.

 

I had to be so very careful how I played this out between myself and Sanzo. Too much aggression and he'd feel like I was trying to take Gojyo from him and retreat. Too much tenderness and I believed Sanzo would see that as feelings between me and Gojyo and leave. The safest route seemed to be to let Sanzo dictate how much I got to touch and play with Gojyo. To allow Sanzo control of this encounter would cost me nothing and possibly give Gojyo everything. I met Sanzo's eyes and waited for permission. Surprise flashed over his face at my waiting for consent to touch Gojyo's antenna. A glimmer of satisfaction showed in his eyes at my deference to him before he nodded his head fractionally. I had chosen the correct course of action and a little sigh of relief left me.

 

“Gently,” Sanzo cautioned.

 

I took the other antenna delicately between my fingers. I was surprised at the firm, fuzzy feel of it. Gojyo's back bowed as I ran the antenna through my fingers and the moan of pleasure seemed pulled from his soul. He started to stroke me with more skill than any one person had a right too. I let go of his antenna and Gojyo sagged back panting. His hand slowed and he let go of my cock. I wanted to protest that loss. Passion glazed eyes met mine before he looked to Sanzo. Whatever he saw in Sanzo's face made him lick his lips nervously and dart his gaze back to me.

 

Sanzo surprised me when he cupped the back of my head and pulled me forward for a kiss. Before our lips touched, I felt the brush of Gojyo's antenna against my mouth. Sanzo tongue swept along the seam of my lips, pressing for entrance. I opened my mouth to him and allowed his tongue inside as well as the tip of Gojyo's antenna. A low moan of absolute ecstasy sounded from Gojyo and I felt a demonic aura start to build around us. Gojyo sobbed with pleasure and his body arched between us.

 

Sanzo's tongue stroked the inside of my mouth and Gojyo's antenna at the same time. I felt him smile briefly when Gojyo warned us to stop. Gojyo twisted and brought his hands up towards us. Sanzo broke the kiss and grabbed hold of one of Gojyo's hands, pressing it to the mattress. I blinked slowly and followed the unspoken command in Sanzo's eyes and did the same with Gojyo's other hand. Sanzo brought Gojyo's other antenna to his mouth and looked at me.

 

“Suck on it and enjoy what happens.”

 

Gojyo's mouth opened in a protest that died a swift death as Sanzo put to practice what he'd just told me to do. Instead, a long, drawn out moan of pleasure was wrenched from Gojyo and the demonic aura I'd felt earlier grew stronger. Sanzo held my eyes as he sucked and swirled his tongue around the antenna. Gojyo twisted and panted and I found I had to use a fair bit of strength to hold his hand down. I copied Sanzo's actions on the antenna between my own lips until I heard Gojyo pleading for us to stop. I broke eye contact with Sanzo to look at Gojyo and his antenna fell from my mouth in surprise.

 

Sweat darkened the hair around his face. A flush was high in his cheeks and he was panting like he'd run a marathon. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes and his body fairly hummed with tension as he twisted and strained against the hold we had on him. What did Sanzo have me help him do to Gojyo?

 

Sanzo let the antenna fall from his mouth and Gojyo moaned. His eyes were pleading as he looked between the two of us. A ghost of a smile flitted over Sanzo's face and he let go of Gojyo's hand. I followed suit, not sure what Sanzo was going to do next but committed to following his lead. Gojyo lay panting between us, arousal apparent in the expression on his face and the weeping erection he had. Sanzo leaned down and spoke softly to Gojyo while holding my eyes with his own.

 

“What do you want, Gojyo?”

 

“You,” Gojyo said intently, “To feel your hands on me.”

 

“And Hakkai? Do you want him too? To feel his hands on you?” Sanzo asked with hints of jealousy in his voice.

 

“Hakkai needs me tonight as much as you do, Sanzo,” Gojyo reminded him gently as he raised a slightly shaking hand to touch Sanzo's cheek.

 

Sanzo surprised me by allowing the soft touch. Silence descended on the room as we stared at each other. The sound of the rain seemed suddenly loud as I watched pain and loneliness flicker through the monk's eyes. I knew the same thing was mirrored in mine for slightly different reasons. Sanzo looked away first but I knew he understood on some level what I felt when it rained and why I'd come to Gojyo. He looked back at me as his hand glided up Gojyo's chest and he flicked a nail at the tight nub of his nipple. Gojyo gasped softly and arched into Sanzo.

 

“He likes pain as well as pleasure,” Sanzo said in a low voice.

 

“I know,” I replied as I mimicked Sanzo's move and flicked Gojyo's other nipple making him groan and twist his body, wordlessly begging for more.

 

Sanzo scowled at me and then Gojyo. He was obviously thinking that I'd done some playing with Gojyo despite my telling him earlier that Gojyo and I had never had sex before. I was about to tell him again that Gojyo and I had never been intimate when Gojyo spoke.

 

“We lived in the same house, Sanzo. We know things about each other that no one else does. We've never played like you and me have. I've never let anyone play with me like I have with you,” Gojyo said as he laid his hand on Sanzo's bare thigh and caressed the skin gently.

 

Sanzo narrowed his eyes and leaned over Gojyo until their noses touched. I caught a glimpse of Sanzo's eyes and regardless of what the monk was telling himself, his eyes gave away the fact that he wanted and needed Gojyo for more than just the physical. Even though I was kneeling within touching distance of them, if I hadn't had demon sharp hearing, I would have missed what Sanzo breathed against Gojyo's lips.

 

“Really?” Sanzo sneered as his hand circled Gojyo's throat, partly as a threat, partly in a caress.

 

“Word of honour,” Gojyo answered as he reached up and stroked a hand down Sanzo's throat and over his nipple making the monk gasp softly at the gentle touch.

 

I knew Sanzo wasn't ready to admit he had feelings for Gojyo but his actions, the look in his eyes and possessive nature spoke volumes to me. Sanzo stared intently into Gojyo's eyes for several long seconds before he tilted his head and kissed Gojyo with more heat than I would have thought the monk capable of. Gojyo responded to that kiss like a man dying of thirst being offered a pitcher of pure spring water. They kept their eyes open and watched each other as they kissed, absorbed in the play of emotions in each others face. The kiss was one of the most intensely erotic, intimate things I'd ever seen and I felt like I was intruding on a very private moment between them. I was about to excuse myself when Sanzo pulled back slowly and raised his eyes to mine.

 

There was some kind of new knowledge in those dark purple depths. Smug satisfaction that told me that the challenge he'd issued to me earlier… I'd just lost it. I was a little confused and very unsure if I should stay or go.

 

“Do you want Hakkai to stay and play with us now?” Sanzo asked as he scored his nails down Gojyo's chest.

 

Gojyo inhaled sharply at the small pain before he nodded his head. His eyes sought mine and I saw what I needed this rainy night in his gaze; the compassion and love of a good friend. I raised my eyes to Sanzo and saw that he expected that answer from Gojyo and was willing to go along with what Gojyo wanted because of whatever he saw and felt in that kiss they shared. There was also the light of understanding in Sanzo purple eyes. He knew what I needed tonight because he needed it too.

 

Gojyo watched the look pass between Sanzo and myself. A smile played over his lips before he rolled to his front and stretched out between us. He spread his legs slightly and clasped his hands behind his head. He turned his head to face me and I saw anticipation fill his eyes. Both Gojyo and I jumped at the sharp crack of a hand meeting flesh.

 

“Have you done this before, Hakkai?” Sanzo asked as he caressed the slightly reddened handprint on Gojyo's ass.

 

I shook my head no but found my hand almost itching to swat Gojyo's other ass cheek. The little sound of pleasure Gojyo made was encouraging me to do just that. I glanced at Gojyo's face and saw the almost imperceptible nod he gave me. I looked to Sanzo and waited for his go-ahead. At Sanzo's nod, I drew my hand back and brought it down swiftly on Gojyo's exposed ass. The slap wasn't nearly as hard or loud as the one Sanzo gave him.

 

“Harder, Hakkai. I won't break,” Gojyo said softly on a small moan.

 

I raised my hand again and brought it down harder. Gojyo hissed and flinched and I wondered for a moment if I'd used too much strength. That worry was laid to rest when Gojyo groaned and wriggled his hips. The sound was one of arousal and went straight to my cock, making it throb. Sanzo and I began to deliver hard, stinging swats to Gojyo's ass and thighs. Gojyo moaned and rocked his hips. His fingers turned white from the force of the grip he was using to keep his hands locked behind his head. Sharp hisses and grunts were forced from Gojyo with every blow. Sprinkled between the sounds of pain were lush noises of arousal. Lust was rushing through my body and I was about to deliver another round of spanks when Sanzo stopped me by grabbing my wrist.

 

“Give him a moment to calm down,” Sanzo said in a breathy voice as he stroked his fingers over the red handprints decorating Gojyo's ass and thighs. Gojyo was panting harshly with a light sheen of sweat covering his skin.

 

I nodded and licked my lips. I was more aroused now than I could remember being in a long time. Sanzo touched the backs of Gojyo's hands lightly. Gojyo unclasped his hands and stretched his arms out in front of him. Sanzo trailed his hands down Gojyo's spine and fanned out over his hips. He tugged and Gojyo rose up to his hands and knees. Sanzo knelt behind him and caressed his hips and ass. I wondered what Sanzo was up to.

 

“Lay on your back, Hakkai,” Sanzo commanded softly.

 

He waited for me to lie back on the bed and a tiny smile of satisfaction came and went quickly on his lips when I did as he ordered. Sanzo positioned Gojyo over me and pressed him firmly but gently between the shoulder blades.

 

“Bring Hakkai off with you mouth, Gojyo.”

 

Gojyo shivered at the command and gave a low moan of pleasure before his lips closed over my cock. I groaned and let the delight of his lips and tongue wash through me. I propped myself up on my elbows and divided my attention between watching Gojyo work my cock with a skill that took my breath away and Sanzo who was playing with Gojyo's ass.

 

My cock surged as I watched Sanzo bring his fingers to his mouth and suck on them. He held my eyes as he did it. It was a very erotic thing to watch Sanzo suck on his fingers as if they were a cock and feel Gojyo's mouth sliding over my own dick. My breath was starting to come a little faster and I focused on the sensations of Gojyo's lips and teeth as he worked me.

 

I sucked in a sharp breath when Gojyo teased my hole with his finger as he sucked my entire length down. His pleased hum vibrated along the length of my cock and I bit my lip hard to keep from falling completely into the sensual feel of Gojyo's mouth playing over me. Sanzo pulled his fingers from his mouth, a thread of saliva trailing from his lips to his fingers. I knew he pressed them into Gojyo when I felt and heard the moan of pleasure Gojyo gave. I watched with growing excitement as Sanzo worked Gojyo's ass. Gojyo moaned softly, wriggling his hips for more. The sharp crack of Sanzo's hand meeting the firm flesh of Gojyo's backside seemed to echo in the room.

 

Gojyo moaned again before sliding his mouth down my cock until his lips were pressed to the base. I panted and struggled to keep from jerking my hips. I wanted to fuck his mouth hard. I wanted to see my seed smeared over his lips. A gasp of pleasure escaped me when Gojyo pushed his finger completely inside me. He stroked over my prostate, making me jerk my hips up in reaction. Sanzo spread Gojyo's cheeks, leaned down and licked his hole. Gojyo shuddered and his hand moved between his legs to stroke his own erection. It took me a few minutes to realize that Gojyo was stroking himself and fingering me to the rhythm of Sanzo licking and tongue fucking his ass. The absolute eroticism of the combined actions had me struggling for control to hold back my release.

 

Sanzo shifted behind Gojyo and his eyes slowly closed as he slid into Gojyo's heat. Lust surged through me at the deep groan of pleasure from Gojyo. He began working my cock faster as Sanzo started a rhythm of strong thrusts. I looked down at Gojyo and my breath caught at the pleasure in his face from having a cock in his mouth and a dick in his ass at the same time. I felt Sanzo's eyes on me and looked up at him.

 

I saw intense pleasure and satisfaction but I was also given a brief, unguarded look into Sanzo that I didn't think he intended me to have. There was more than just the delight of the physical. He cared about Gojyo. He was also afraid of those feelings. Sooner or later he was going to have to deal with them. I just hoped, for both their sakes that it was sooner and not later.

 

I sat up and reached out to Sanzo, startling him. I pulled him towards me and touched his lips with mine in a feather light kiss before moving back and threading my fingers through Gojyo's hair. His antenna slid through my fingers and Gojyo whimpered. I liked the sound, so repeated the gesture. Sanzo's eyes widened and his mouth opened at the same time I felt the background demonic aura expand and burst.

 

Lust slammed into me as I heard a song start in my head. It was filled with pleasure, desire and comfort. There were no words to the song but I knew in my heart what it was conveying. The song pushed my arousal even higher until lust was a hot, stabbing sensation rushing through my body. I knew without being told that the song was coming from Gojyo. My eyes met Sanzo's and the arousal I saw was stunning. I knew then that he could hear the song too.

 

Heat pooled in my groin and my balls drew up tight. I wanted the almost painful pleasure to continue. The song rose in tempo, captured my lust and sent it spinning through my body. I opened my mouth and gave a long, low moan as my orgasm whipped through me. I let go of Gojyo's antenna and my back arched, forcing my cock down Gojyo's throat as my seed left me in pain-kissed spurts. Gojyo made happy noises as he swallowed. Sanzo gasped and ground his hips into Gojyo. He threw his head back as something very close to a scream came from his throat. Gojyo groaned and a shiver wracked his body as Sanzo pressed his chest to Gojyo's back and panted harshly. Gojyo moaned, the sound vibrating on my sensitized cock. I twitched and made little pleasure filled noises as I felt Gojyo's seed splatter against my legs and balls. The demon song faded from my mind slowly. Contentment lingered, leaving me feeling more relaxed and satisfied than I could remember being in a very long time.

 

Gojyo let my dick fall from his mouth and licked cock swollen lips. His face was flushed with the after glow of great sex and there was a sated look in his eyes. He gave a soft, disappointed little groan as Sanzo withdrew from his ass. He swiped his tongue along the scar on my belly, placing a gentle kiss over it before he crawled up my body and pressed his lips softly to mine. He pulled back slowly from the kiss before turning and grabbing Sanzo's arm. He drew the monk against his body and kissed him like he wanted to crawl inside him. When they broke apart, Sanzo looked a little dazed.

 

“We're going to talk about where we go from here in the morning, Sanzo,” Gojyo warned softly with a tone that said he wouldn't take any argument.

 

Sanzo stiffened in Gojyo's arms and scowled. He tried to pull away but was held tightly by Gojyo.

 

“I don't understand why you did what you did, Sanzo but I don't want to call it quits between us. I don't think you want to either. But, it's late, raining and we're all nicely tired now. Sleep is a great idea. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back,” Gojyo said as he gave Sanzo a hard, fast kiss before leaving the bed. He dragged on his pants and headed out the door.

 

Sanzo scowled at the door for several seconds before he rose from the bed and reached for his own clothes. I stared at him in surprise. If Sanzo left now, while Gojyo was gone, I was sure Gojyo would see it as another rejection by Sanzo. I couldn't let him do it.

 

“It's still raining, Sanzo,” I said softly.

 

He froze for a few seconds in the act of putting his jeans on before continuing, although slower than before. He didn't want to be alone tonight. Nightmares probably haunted him, too, when it rained. When it looked like he was still going to dress and leave, I spoke again.

 

“I'll leave. I'm… I'll be fine now,” I lied as I moved off the bed.

 

I didn't lie often. I preferred honesty. But for Gojyo, I'd lie to Sanzo if it would keep him in the room. I knew I wouldn't be fine. Alone, the nightmares would come. I wouldn't get any rest until the rain stopped; unless I stayed with Gojyo. I was still shocked that Sanzo had shared Gojyo with me. I knew Sanzo wouldn't feel comfortable if I stayed. He'd leave and Gojyo would be more hurt than before. I could deal with a few nightmares for Gojyo. Sanzo surprised me by grabbing my arm.

 

“What happened here, it doesn't leave this room,” Sanzo warned in a low voice.

 

“Of course, Sanzo. This was… an unexpected pleasure. Like a beautiful, welcoming dream. When we wake up in the morning, we'll find it was nothing but a rain soaked fantasy.”

 

Sanzo frowned at me. He opened his mouth several times but said nothing. He finally let go of my arm and sat on the edge of the bed. He stared at the window, seeming lost in thought. I took my clothes out of the night table and started to dress. I hoped that Gojyo would understand why I'd left. I was pretty sure he would.

 

“Why are you willing to leave when you obviously care about him; when you need him?” Sanzo asked as he looked up at me, confusion in his eyes.

 

“His happiness means more to me than his protection from my inner demons.”

 

“You love him,” Sanzo accused as he surged to his feet.

 

“I love my friend, not a lover,” I replied gently as I took a chance and rested my hand on Sanzo's shoulder.

 

He scowled at me and I wasn't sure if he understood the difference. I didn't think he'd appreciate me trying to explain that I loved Gojyo as a friend while he loved Gojyo as a lover. I thought Sanzo had been pushed as far as he could be for one night. I was actually amazed that no violence or bloodshed had come to pass.

 

“He'll want you to stay,” Sanzo muttered.

 

“He'll understand if I leave. He won't understand if you do. Stay, Sanzo. Let him help you tonight.”

 

I turned away to start dressing again. I really wasn't looking forward to spending the rest of the night alone with my thoughts, ghosts and inner demons. The rain seemed suddenly louder in the quiet of the room. A shiver traced down my spine as I thought about all the memories that would skulk out of the shadows once I was alone.

 

“Stay.”

 

I raised my head in surprise. The command was whisper quiet. If I'd had normal human hearing, I probably wouldn't have heard it. Sanzo had slipped under the sheet on the bed and was lighting a smoke when I turned to look at him. He returned my look coolly before blowing smoke out of his mouth in a thin stream.

 

“I'm sorry, what?”

 

“Nothing else happens tonight. Nothing but letting him keep away… things. You swear you never speak about what we did and you can stay.”

 

Sanzo completely stunned me for the second time that night. Maybe he did understand the difference between the love Gojyo and I shared and the love he could have with Gojyo if he took a chance. Maybe there was hope for Sanzo to realize what he felt for Gojyo. I gave him a short, formal bow.

 

“What we did here will never leave my lips. I swear it on my honour, Genjo Sanzo.”

 

Sanzo gave me a curt nod of his head. Gojyo chose that moment to come back into the room. He looked at me standing there with my pants on and the smile that had been on his face faded. I walked towards him and touched his bare chest with my finger tips.

 

“I'll be back in a moment. Go get comfortable with Sanzo.”

 

Gojyo searched my face for clues about why I was partially dressed. I let him see my love and affection for him before my customary mask slipped back into place. He nodded and smiled at me before heading for the bed. I watched him shuck his jeans and climb in beside Sanzo. He stole the half finished cigarette, earning himself a scowl from Sanzo. I smiled as I left the room to use the washroom. Sanzo and Gojyo might be on the way to fixing their relationship because of what happened tonight.

 

I never thought I'd have cause to be thankful for a rainy night.