Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Saiyuki Serial: Beautifully Broken Evolution ❯ 30 Revealing Discussions ( Chapter 30 )

Authors Note: I don't own Saiyuki and make no claims on it. If I did, there'd be a whole hell of a lot of kinky shit going down.

 

// indicates words in Dragon

 

30 Revealing Discussions

 

~Hakuryuu~

 

“Hey, Hakkai, I gotta talk to you.”

 

I narrowed my eyes and my ruff bristled as Gojyo approached Hakkai. I knew he didn't hold anything more than friendship in his heart for Hakkai, but I couldn't help myself. Dragons were very possessive of our treasure and Hakkai was my treasure. I knew he wasn't something to be owned, but he did belong to me just as I belonged to him.

 

“Certainly, Gojyo. I hope you don't mind if we talk while I make supper. After the last incident, I don't entirely trust Goku not to “sample” the whole stew if I get him to stir it for me again.”

 

I blew out a little snort of smoke at that. Goku had sampled half the pot the last time Hakkai asked for his help. Rations had been very small that night. I'd offered to share with Hakkai the young rabbit I caught later in the evening, but he'd politely declined, saying it wouldn't have been fair to the others if he ate and they didn't. The rabbit hadn't been very big and wouldn't have spread to more than a few mouthfuls for everybody, so Hakkai had gone without. Not that I would've liked to share my kill with the rest of the group, but I would've if Hakkai asked me to.

 

“Uh… well… it's kind of private stuff,” Gojyo said as he rubbed the back of his neck in what looked like a nervous gesture. He glanced over at Sanzo reading his paper and Goku trying to coax a butterfly onto his finger.

 

Hakkai sighed. “Really, now, Gojyo, how many times do I have to describe to you what the danger plants look like. You're going to be suffering a little because I only have enough cream left for maybe two applications until we reach the next town.”

 

“No, it's not that. This time. The private stuff is about you and how you've been acting lately. I figured since I was your friend, I'd better talk to you about it before Sanzo said something or Goku asked embarrassing questions.”

 

Hakkai's face slowly turned pink. I thought he looked adorable when he blushed. He got the same kind of lovely flush to his skin after orgasm. He slanted a glance at me letting me know where he was placing blame for his changed behaviour, and continued to stir the pot over the fire. I flew from my perch on a log and settled myself on his shoulder, rubbing my face against his and warbling. Hakkai stroked my chest briefly and added a few more things to the pot. Gojyo frowned at me and I had a difficult time not sticking out my tongue at him. Hakkai was mine.

 

“How I've been acting? I don't know what you mean, Gojyo.”

 

“Knock it off, Hakkai. This is me you're talking to here. I know you better than probably anybody. Something's changed about you. Not that it's a bad thing. You seem happier and I'm really glad for you, but you've also been spacing out a lot and that's just not you. It's weird. If I've noticed, it sure as hell isn't going to take long before Sanzo and Goku notice, too.”

 

“Weird, Gojyo? Please do explain what you mean by that.” Hakkai's words were polite but clipped. He didn't appreciate people poking into what he considered his private life. Not even if the person doing the poking was his best friend.

 

I darted a look at Gojyo and shook my head at him. If he had any functioning brain cells, he wouldn't pursue that question. Hakkai was quickly moving from embarrassed to irritated. He hated to appear as anything but normal even when he knew he was about as far from normal as one could get. As close as those two were, Gojyo should recognize that. He wasn't the cagey Kenren I knew from long ago, but this version wasn't stupid either.

 

My faith in Gojyo not being a total moron was renewed when he held up his hands in a placating gesture. He looked quickly around the camp and pitched his voice low even though Sanzo and Goku were on the other side of the clearing we'd stopped in for the night.

 

“I saw the marks on your wrists after we stayed at that mountain temple. That was some serious shit, Hakkai. I like to play hard sometimes, but damn, that would've been really rough even by my standards. You don't play like that with people you don't know. It's not safe. You've never done something like that before. I'd have noticed.”

 

Tension left Hakkai's body and he smiled at Gojyo with real warmth and humour. I could see why Gojyo had been worried about the marks around Hakkai's wrists. They'd been livid bruises the next day and looked more like something that was the result of torture than the mutually pleasurable game we'd played. Gojyo would've had conniptions if he'd seen the marks on the rest of Hakkai's body from that encounter. Most people wouldn't play that hard, but neither Hakkai nor I were most people. As much as I'd enjoyed seeing the marks on my lover's skin over the days that followed our play, I think I'd insist on him healing them next time so we could avoid another situation like the one we were currently in.

 

“I realize that for most people, a situation like that would be quite dangerous, but there are some rather special circumstances involved in my playing like that. To my way of thinking, the person I was with could have been in far more danger if I hadn't been so… securely held. While I appreciate your concern, Gojyo, what I do behind closed doors and with who isn't any of your business.”

 

I stifled a snort at Hakkai's suggestion that I could've been in danger from him. I was far stronger than I let Hakkai see and had a few tricks up my sleeve. I wasn't trying to be deceptive, but I knew that surprise strength might come in handy one day. I loved Hakkai with every fibre of my being, but I knew he wasn't entirely mentally stable. He was also one of the strongest youkai I'd ever seen, excepting of course, Seiten Taisei who, quite literally, had no equal.

 

“Errr… well, yeah, I guess. I'm not trying to tell you how to run your life, but come on Hakkai, those marks were pretty nasty. I was really worried about you.”

 

As much as I wanted to warn Gojyo away from Hakkai, I liked that fact that he was concerned about my lover's well being and was looking out for him. Hakkai smiled at Gojyo, gave his arm a gentle squeeze and murmured a thank you for his concern. A little bit of devilment had me press closer to Hakkai and I rubbed my jaw against his cheek and nip his ear lobe.

 

//Hard good.//

 

//Stop, Gojun.// A faint dusting of pink appeared over Hakkai's cheeks again.

 

Warmth settled in me at hearing him call me by my old name. I'd taken a chance at teaching him not only my name, but his as well. I hadn't been sure the Gods would allow it. I was more pleased than was reasonable to hear him call me by my old name.

 

“That's another thing. It sounds like you're talking to Hakuryuu and that he's talking back to you. What the fuck gives? Since when did you start speaking… whatever?” Gojyo asked, gesturing with his hand at me.

 

Hakkai carefully stirred the pot of stew and didn't meet Gojyo's eyes. We hadn't discussed what to say if somebody should ask about Hakkai seeming to speak Dragon. He had always been very intuitive about what I said to him even before I started to teach him Dragon. Quite honestly, it never occurred to either of us that anybody would notice, never mind actually ask. It probably should have.

 

“Dragons live an exceptionally long time. It stands to reason that they'd have developed a language of their own. From there, it only seemed logical to try and learn some of Hakuryuu's language to increase our understanding of each other. You know how much I enjoy learning and sometimes, when I'm having a… difficult night, I'll try and learn words to help pass the time.”

 

“Really? Huh. I guess so. Seems kinda pointless if he understands everything we say.”

 

Hakkai's eyebrows rose and he looked up from stirring the stew to fix Gojyo with a sharp stare. “What makes you assume he understands everything we say?”

 

I caught the trapped look on Gojyo's face when he realized he'd said too much and a warble of laughter wound out of my chest before I pressed my nose into Hakkai's hair. Hakkai knew about the sick act I'd put on, but not that it'd been at Gojyo's request. We'd had a very nice evening of cuddling together because of Gojyo asking me to get and keep Hakkai in bed that night. I suppose I owed him something because of that. I'd have to come up with a reasonable reward later. At the moment, watching Gojyo squirm was too entertaining to interrupt.

 

“Errr… well… it makes sense?”

 

“Do tell. I'd be quite interested in how you came to that conclusion.”

 

I looked at Gojyo fidgeting and warbled another laugh. He scowled at me and folded his arms across his chest. He knew I was laughing at his discomfort. I'd probably pay for that at some point, but it was completely worth it right now.

 

“It's not important. Besides, the way Hakuryuu has been acting lately is another of those things that I wanted to talk to you about. He's been really protective of you lately. That's not a bad thing. Usually. But, it's kinda starting to border on extra strange. He gives me and Sanzo death glares whenever we get close to you. The way he looks at you is… weird and kinda creeps me out a little. He looks at you like he, you know, wants you. Before you say I'm imagining it, I know what lust looks like and that's the way he's been staring at you lately. You can't tell me you haven't noticed.”

 

Hakkai tapped the spoon against the side of the pot and set it down on the rocks near the fire pit. The adorable blush was back across his nose again. He adjusted his glasses and smoothed his hands down his shirt. He brushed a hand down the length of my tail and gave the end a not so subtle tug almost unbalancing me.

 

//Stop,// Hakkai said in a firm voice with another hard tug on my tail.

 

I knew what he was telling me to stop doing. He wasn't bothered by the looks I was giving him, but by the looks I was directing at Sanzo and Gojyo. Hakkai disliked any kind of discord in his motley little family and I was upsetting the balance. As much as I may have wanted to keep giving Sanzo and Gojyo looks of doom, I didn't want to upset Hakkai.

 

//Mine. I love you. No sorry.// Hakkai gave another sharp tug on my tail and I rumbled my displeasure. //Okay, stop.//

 

“What'd he say?” Gojyo asked curiously.

 

“He said he'd stop doing that. Dragons are territorial, Gojyo, and he looks at me as his. Possibly, he sees you and Sanzo as some kind of threat although I'm not sure why when we've been together for quite some time already. I'll work with him to figure out why and reassure him neither one of you is a threat. Now, if that's all, could you please get the bowls out for me? Supper is ready.”

 

Gojyo opened and closed his mouth several times before shaking his head in defeat and doing what Hakkai asked. I was sure he had more to say to Hakkai, but he knew as well as I did that Hakkai had just closed down that conversation and nothing short of torture would get him to say anything more. I also hadn't missed the firm tone in Hakkai's voice when he'd said he'd work with me to figure out why I felt Sanzo and Gojyo were a threat. I decided to make myself scarce until Hakkai forgot about that. I didn't think he'd appreciate my knowing he'd had sex with Sanzo and Gojyo and that it was the reason that I'd approached him as I had. I spread my wings and was about to launch myself from his shoulder when he closed a hand over my leg.

 

//Stop. Stay,// Hakkai said with steel in his voice.

 

Damn.

 

He'd said it in Dragon. He was serious. I licked his cheek and rubbed my jaw over his throat, cooing and sub-vocalizing, something that usually made him go all soft and compliant for me. That wasn't the case this time. He lowered his voice and took my jaw firmly in hand, turning my face to his.

 

“We are going to speak about this after supper, Hakuryuu. We'll leave the camp and find someplace private and you will tell me what put you all out of sorts with regards to Sanzo and Gojyo. Do not make me look for you, either or I'll be most displeased with you.”

 

Hakkai let go of my jaw and leg, leaving me free to leave if I wanted. I hunched on his shoulder instead and made grumbled noises of annoyance, which he ignored. I didn't like having to explain myself to anyone. I most especially didn't like having to explain what I felt were perfectly legitimate actions. Tenpou had never asked me to explain myself with regards to our personal relationship. He'd accepted whatever I'd done or said with little question.

 

I sighed softly.

 

That wasn't fair. Hakkai was Tenpou, yet not. They were different people who happened to share a history that only I remembered. I didn't want Hakkai to be Tenpou. That was five hundred years in the past and hadn't ended terribly well because of my stubborn dragon pride. I'd like to think that I managed to learn from my mistakes in the past and not repeat them again. I nuzzled against Hakkai's neck and flew over to the log I'd been occupying earlier, resigned that we were going to have a rather uncomfortable talk in the very near future.

 

I watched them eat but didn't try and steal any food. My belly was tensing up in anticipation of what Hakkai was going to do and say. He knew I loved him, but I had no such assurances. I tried very hard not to pressure him into telling me how he felt. Declarations of love that were coerced were worthless and would always taint any true words later. I didn't want that. When he told me he loved me, as I was sure he would someday, I wanted it to be because he wanted to tell me not because I'd badgered it out of him.

 

After the meal Hakkai set Goku to washing the pots and dishes and walked towards me. He stopped at the log and waited without saying a damn word. I could have stayed where I was and refused to move. Hakkai wouldn't force me, but I'd be lucky to find my way back into his bed, regardless of what form I took, for at least several weeks. Hakkai was the master at chillingly polite disdain and I'd no desire to have any of that come my way. He was still the most quietly bossy person I'd ever known. It had to be love that made me think that was one of his endearing qualities.

 

I flew up to perch on Hakkai's shoulder. He walked into the forest with sure steps and only stopped after a good twenty minutes of fast walking. We were next to a gently flowing stream and if Hakkai hadn't been so serious about having this stupid talk about what got my ruff up, I could've put the nice little sand beach to a decidedly perverse use. Having Hakkai naked with the setting sun at his back as he rode me would have been exquisite. I transformed and appeared in front of him, fully dressed despite my erotic fantasies.

 

“Out with it, Hakuryuu. Why have you been giving Sanzo and Gojyo death glares? Did they do something to offend you?”

 

I frowned and tried to figure out how to convey to Hakkai why I was behaving the way I was with the still rather limited vocabulary we had in Dragon. This was not going to be easy. How does one pantomime jealousy? How was I going to really make him understand that although I saw him as my treasure, I didn't see him as a possession to be owned? Probably by being as straight forward and blunt as possible.

 

“I'm waiting.”

 

//You mine. No Konzen, Kenren.//

 

“Yes, I'm your lover. I didn't understand that second part. I don't know those words. No, what?” Hakkai asked.

 

I repeated the sounds for Konzen's name and nodded when Hakkai said it back to me correctly. He may have had the word right, but he had no context for it. I gave a frustrated little growl and thought furiously. I knew we didn't have a whole lot of time before someone wondered where Hakkai had gone and what was taking him so long to come back. I stared at the sand under my feet as I thought and broke out into a grin when the solution hit me.

 

I dropped to my knees and drew an oval in the sand. Hakkai moved closer and watched what I was doing but remained silent. I poked my fingers in the sand for eyes and drew a frown. A quick glance around and a small round stone was found and placed in the forehead of the crude drawing. I repeated Konzen's name and pointed to the drawing, waiting for Hakkai to make the connection. My lover was a brilliant man and I was sure it wouldn't take him long to figure it out. Hakkai was silent long enough for me to start to worry that my drawing was too poor for Hakkai to make the connection. I'd never claimed to be an artist but I thought it was clear enough for him to guess correctly what I meant.

 

“Sanzo? Is that it? That's what the word means?”

 

Not exactly, but close enough.

 

//Yes.// I brushed my hand through the drawing and drew another oval, adding eyes, a smiling mouth and antenna off the top of the head. I said the word for Kenren and waited.

 

Hakkai smiled. “Gojyo, right?” At my nod, he repeated the Dragon word several times until he had it right.

 

//Yes. You mine. No Konzen. No Kenren.//

 

“Yes, yes, I'm well aware that's how you feel, //Gojun//. I would think that you'd know I don't make it a practice of sleeping around if I'm involved with someone. That's tacky and disrespectful and I don't think I like what you're inferring. I don't know where this idea of yours is coming from. I've given you no indication that I'm interested in either Sanzo or Gojyo in that way. Gojyo is my best friend. Despite his attitude and the denial I'm sure he'd give, I feel confident that Sanzo is also my friend.”

 

I growled a little. He wasn't getting it and he was starting to sound a little pissed off at me. As for indications of interest, I already knew that he'd slept with Sanzo and Gojyo. He'd fairly reeked of them and sex when he'd come back to his room that morning.

 

//No more Konzen. No more Kenren.//

 

Hakkai's lips thinned. “I am not tossing away my friendship with either one of them because you're feeling… insecure. I've done nothing to make you feel that way. I have precious few friends and circumstances aren't exactly ideal for me to make new ones. Quite frankly, what you're insinuating is rather insulting.”

 

Hakkai was getting angry. I suppose I couldn't really blame him. He clung tightly to his ideals of proper behaviour and here I was, apparently accusing him of misconduct. I had to correct that quickly or I was going to suffer his displeasure and I knew he could stretch that out for weeks at a time if he was angry enough.

 

I made another frustrated noise and slashed my hand in front of me. //No.//

 

I stared at the sand for a moment and sighed heavily. I couldn't see any other way to make him understand what I was trying to say. I was going to have to draw it. I cringed a little inwardly. The god's in heaven must be laughing their asses off at my predicament. Me, the former Dragon Lord of the Western Army of Heaven reduced to drawing pornographic stick figures to make himself understood by his lover.

 

I swept my hand through the sand and quickly drew three figures together in an obviously sexual situation. I added the rock to the Sanzo figure, antenna to the Gojyo figure and a pair of glasses to the third figure. I pointed and waited for Hakkai to take in the meaning of the drawing. His sharply indrawn breath told me when he realized what he was looking at.

 

//No more Konzen. No more Kenren.//

 

“What…. How….”

 

I tapped my nose and inhaled. Hakkai's eyes widened to almost comical proportions. His cheeks turned deep red and he blinked furiously before looking away. He cleared his throat several times before he looked back at me. Colour was still high in his cheeks but there was firmness in his eyes.

 

“We weren't involved at the time and I don't really owe you any explanation for my past dalliances. But, this is obviously bothering you and affecting how you're behaving towards Sanzo and Gojyo. Yes, I was with Sanzo and Gojyo one night. It wasn't planned and although I greatly enjoyed myself, it's not something that will be repeated.” There was a note of finality in Hakkai's voice, but no wistfulness. I was immensely relieved to find that tone missing from his voice.

 

“Gojyo loves Sanzo deeply and whether Sanzo knows it or not, I believe he loves Gojyo. While I'm sure Gojyo would offer to share his body with me again because he loves me as a friend, Sanzo does not share. I'm still not even sure what prompted him to do as he did that night. I will not step between them and what I think they can have with each other. I also know the difference between being with someone who loves you as a lover, someone who loves you as a friend and someone who's doing it because it's their job. While you get pleasure out of all three forms, the most rewarding one is the first. If I have that with you, why in god's name would you even think I'd contemplate anything else? I realize what a precious gift someone's love is and I'd never sully it.”

 

I stared at Hakkai, my mouth hanging open slightly at that revelation. I'd known him in a myriad of forms for longer than I cared to think about and he still managed to surprise me with his depth. I'd been even more of a fool five hundred years ago than I'd first thought. He'd treasured my love then, but never asked me to confirm it. He'd freely given me his love and told me often that he loved me, waiting to hear the words back that I never spoke out of stupid dragon pride. I had so much to make up for.

 

//Sorry. I love you,// I said with all the emotion I could put into my voice.

 

Hakkai's eyes softened and he trailed his fingers over the back of my hand. “Why do I feel like you're apologizing for more than your hostile attitude to Sanzo and Gojyo lately?”

 

//Yes. More sorry. More, more sorry.//

 

“This has to do with us knowing each other before, doesn't it?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Then it doesn't matter, //Gojun//. I don't remember it now, so consider the slate wiped clean on that issue. Now, please promise me that you'll stop whatever it is you've been doing to Sanzo and Gojyo.”

 

I took Hakkai's hands in mine and kissed his knuckles. I said the word for promise in Dragon and waited until Hakkai repeated it correctly. I kissed him gently on the lips and told him I loved him again. I figured that if he heard it often enough, it might make up for me not saying it before when I should have. Hakkai smiled at me and gave my hands a squeeze before looking back at my drawing in the sand.

 

“You know, drawing pictures like this was a very good idea to communicate. I think we should try doing that more often. Maybe even doing a modified twenty question type of thing, with me saying a word and you giving me the Dragon word for it. I think I could remember twenty new words a day, although, sometimes the pronunciation is rather tricky. Maybe ten is a more reasonable number to start with.” I laughed and kissed him again on the lips. Ever the scholar was my lover. That hadn't changed in all the time I'd known him.

 

I stood, pulling him up with me and hugged him tight. He made a pleased sound in his throat and hugged me just as tightly. Desire, never far away where Hakkai was concerned, flared to life in my belly. One hand trailed down to his ass, pushing his hips into mine while I threaded the other hand through his hair to hold his head still for a deeper kiss. Hakkai sighed softly and kissed me back, one hand moving to press against my lower back and the other tangling in my hair. Maybe my earlier fantasy involving the little beach, the setting sun and Hakkai bouncing in my lap towards a mutual orgasm wasn't such a far fetched idea after all.

 

That erotic daydream died a swift death when my sharp hearing picked up someone crashing through the forest. Hakkai heard it a few seconds later and reluctantly broke our kiss. He stroked his fingers over my cheeks and fondled the horns poking out of my hair.

 

“We need to find a town soon. Preferably one that has an inn with many, many rooms available,” Hakkai said a little breathlessly.

 

//Yes. Please,// I replied with a throaty groan.

 

I heard Hakkai's name being shouted. Goku was almost at the tiny beach. I kissed Hakkai quickly one last time and transformed back into a dragon. I perched on Hakkai's shoulder and nuzzled into his hair. Goku burst into the beach, twigs and leaves caught in his hair and clothes. He skidded to a halt in front of Hakkai and bent over, breathing hard. He must have run the entire way from the camp to here.

 

“Gojyo said I should come look for you in case you got lost or something. Why'd you go so far away from camp? Man, I think I burned off my entire dinner running all this way. Do we have something I can snack on when we get back to camp? I'm starving. I'll never last the whole night without something to eat.”

 

I snorted softly. Pervy kappa. I had a damn good idea what he was doing with his sudden alone time with Sanzo. Not that I could really blame him for sending Goku after us. I'd have done the same thing if it bought me some guaranteed time alone with Hakkai. Goku finally straightened and there was a puzzled expression on his face.

 

“Hey, Hakkai, what's with the sex drawing in the sand and why does it look like you, Sanzo and Gojyo?”

 

My eyes widened and a warble of laughter slipped past my lips. Hakkai coughed to cover his sound of distress and not so discretely dragged his foot through the drawing I'd made in the sand. He smoothed his shirt, adjusted his glasses and fixed Goku with his best “teacher” look.

 

“Sex drawing? I've no idea what you're talking about, Goku. We should head back. The sun is setting and we wouldn't want to lose our way in the forest after dark. Especially when I seem to recall some cherry shortbread cookies with your name on them back at camp.”

 

Goku started to open his mouth and pointed to the partially obscured drawing when the news that there were cherry shortbread cookies he could have back at camp. A grin stretched across his face. He spun around and headed back the way he'd come. Hakkai breathed a small sigh of relief at Goku's easy distraction with food.

 

“I guess if they have my name on them, that means they're all mine right?” Goku called as he reached the tree line.

 

“That was a figure of… yes, they're all yours, Goku.”

 

“Sweet!”Goku said, turning to flash Hakkai and me a smile. “Oh, you might wanna kick more sand over that sex drawing, Hakkai. I could still see the Sanzo one fucking the Gojyo one. I'll meet you back at camp.”

 

Hakkai made a soft sound of distress and I nearly fell off his shoulder from laughing so hard. Goku saw more than people thought he did and I had to wonder at what he knew about the things going on in our little group. Hakkai kicked a small mountain of sand over the drawing before following Goku's path. The talk with Hakkai hadn't been nearly as bad as I'd feared it would be and I'd actually learned something very important.

 

Given what he'd said, I was sure that Hakkai did love me. He may not have been ready to face such strong emotions yet, but given time, he'd embrace his feelings whole-heartedly and I'd get to hear again that he loved me. That made me feel better than I had in a very long time.