Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Teaching Goku ❯ Every Way is Sideways ( Chapter 23 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Every Way is Sideways

Author: Quirk othe Trade

Category: fan fiction

Genre: yaoi, romance, angst, AUish

Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuuki. That is the privilege of Minekura Sensei, those who published her work and so on and so forth. This is simply a lowly offering of a fan girl at the temple of Minekura.

Warnings: Confusion, bad language, smuttiness. Spelling mistakes are mine.

A/N: This has been rewritten for the upteenth time. The file name says fourtheen but that only shows how many times I remembered to update it and sure as hell doesn't include the times it changed directions in the middle of working on it. Take it- I'm sick to death of it! >rawr< All ooc-ness, etc, are my bad- no, it's the muse's bad. Fucking muse, fucking angsty, plot-changing bitches- >gives the bird to them all<

Thank y'all very much for the reviews, and I'm sorry for not responding to all of them. I'm just too tired to respond to them all individually. I am grateful for the time, energy and emotion all of y'all have shown. Sorry for the wait, and enjoy.


Big Special Thanks To:

Goatchild, for Vanessa Carlton's 'Pretty Baby'. I never knew about it before you recommended it. The song that helped spark off T.G. is 'Simple and Clean' by Hikaru Utada, of the first 'Kindom Hearts' PS2 game.
FallAce, for 'Accidentally in love' By Counting Crows, 'I wish you loved me' By Tynisha Keli, 'For Real (piano)' By Saiyuki. The Counting Crows one I already had, but I didn't even know of the other two. I don't have them yet- been to busy to even begin to track them down- but I will as soon as possible.


Synopsis: Hashing it out- or not.



+++

Gojyo found himself out the back gate of the garden without being aware of how he'd gotten there. His feet carried him on the path over the mountain ridge to discover a peaceful spring. Thick moss and lush grasses framed the water, climbing across the rock and ground, tiny flowers doting color here and there.

He settled on the huge boulder that rested in the grass by the spring, reached for his cigarettes and realized they weren't there. It caused him to curse a blue streak, hands shaking from his nerves even as he ran them through his long hair. Gojyo had even left his lighter behind, something that automatically went in his pockets.

Hakkai has KISSED him. Odds were good Sanzo had decided to make a move on the monkey as well. The questions were, 'what was Goku going to do?', and 'could he give Goku up?' The monkey was infinitely attached to the priest, shitty as he was. He'd practically been waiting his whole life for him. The thought was enough to piss Gojyo off as he kicked off his sandals and drew one knee up to his chest.

And why was he so pissed? He'd known that; he had known that almost since the first time they'd met. Had he let himself forget in the midst of the bed sheets? Had he let himself believe the lie of the play? Had he been stupid enough to think of Goku as his?

Oh, shit... Gojyo hadn't held back even a little bit since he'd embraced the idea of being Goku's lover, had he? Somewhere along the line, the idea of Goku being his had grown, along with the possessiveness of being able to touch him, fuck him. Goku had really been HIS.

But he wasn't his.

(Fuck, Sha Gojyo, what have you done?) Digging the heels of his hands into his hands into his eyes, he tried to breath normally. Even when his brother walked out the door, he'd kept breathing, hadn't cried. Tears weren't totally useless things, but his mother had taught him that they didn‘t help a single damned bit.

The monkey wasn't his to own. When Goku chose Sanzo over him, could he let Goku go?

He dug further into his eyes, applying more pressure. He regulated his traitorous breath, breathing slowly and evenly.

He didn't want to let Goku go. He didn't want to, but he would. The whole world was just a big illusion, anyway; wasn't that what the Buddha taught? Not that he cared about that shit.

When he lowered his hands, his eyes burned but nothing overflowed, so he could deal. He could deal with it- even if he didn’t want to. (Fuck.)

He stared blindly at the spring with its visible bubbling, being unreasonably angry at the simplistic beauty of it until he heard something that made him turn his head. The burning of his eyes made it blurry for a moment, but it was easily blinked away. Goku was bent over, hands on his knees, panting as though he'd just run from vengeful manjuu out to take him down. The red head just watched him pant, not saying anything to draw his attention.

Eventually he straightened up, wiping a hand across his forehead. Something made him turn, and he looked at Gojyo.

"Yo." The word was bitter in the kappa’s mouth.

He noticed that the monkey's feet were bare as they each lifted from the grass, Goku coming to him silently. Gojyo dropped his knee from his chest and the brunet slid into his arms, straddling his lap. They didn't speak for several long moments as they leaned into each other. Once it became apparent that Goku wasn't going to speak at all, Gojyo sighed, snuggled his nose in the hair spiking above the coronet for a minute, then pulled back. "Goku."

The brunet’s body twitched against him, then his limbs tightened as if he thought Gojyo was going to throw him off. He buried his face in the kappa's throat, and the brush of fluttering eyelashes tickled.

"Goku, Hakkai- he kissed me on the porch." Goku twitched in his arms again. A subtle vibration shook his form, and Gojyo felt it. It was like the monkey tried to stay still but couldn’t.

He waited for him to say something, anything.

Long minutes passed, and Goku turned his head, lifting his face away from the warm skin of the kappa‘s neck. “…If I wasn’t so pissed that would be really hot.”

Gojyo blinked. (How could I forget he thought of Hakkai like that? Hakkai was probably the biggest contender in all this except for the monkey always taking Sanzo’s side.) “What?”

“Sanzo kissed me- tried to kiss me twice- without asking or anything. And you’re my lover and Hakkai should ASK.” The frown was very obvious in his voice. “That’s underhanded.”

Laughter welled up, but the red head was afraid it was simply hysteria and swallowed it down. “So Sanzo kissed you twice?”

“He’s not that good.” He felt his younger lover swallow. “He’s like I was, when you were teaching me to kiss.” There was another pause. “I like the way you kiss me.”

Gojyo’s hands tightened on Goku’s hips. “I didn’t kiss Hakkai.”

“I know.” He shifted against Gojyo’s larger bulk, not protesting the strong grip clutching him. “Sanzo surprised me.”

(He does shit like that.)

"We have to go back," Gojyo mumbled. "They may have been underhanded but we need to settle things."

Goku peeked up at him from his shirt front. He didn't say anything, just buried his face against his lover’s throat again. Minutely, he pressed closer, limbs and torso, and the red head's breathing hitched in his throat when their groins pressed together. A fission of arousal danced along his insides and Gojyo knew it was mutual by the way the brunet's body tensed, his heartbeat speeding up. The kappa's eyes closed, savoring the moment, because he was afraid it just might be last chance he’d get.

+++

They walked back, side by side, so close they stumbled occasionally on the narrow path.

Dread was a knot in the kappa’s belly that tightened with each footstep closer to the place they were staying. (Sanzo’s made a move. Goku isn’t acting like it’s a big deal to him, but we’re not face to face with his Greatness yet. When it comes down to it, he always chooses Sanzo. But if Hakkai says something- makes an offer-)

They arrived at the open porch, Gojyo’s cigarette pack and lighter abandoned with the ashtray. Sitting back on the polished wood, he kicked off his foot-ware and then rose with Goku to go search through the inn.

Hakkai’s voice sounded from behind them. “Welcome back.”

Gojyo changed directions and stepped into the room he and Goku had been in just that morning. Their bedding had been neatly folded away in a corner. Hakkai and Sanzo were seated across from each other at a small table they had dug up from a storage room on the first day, legs folded neatly in seiza on well-worn cushions. Tea cups were splayed across the table top, the pot between them. Sanzo’s newspaper was folded in fourths on his side of the space.

Gojyo only took a handful of steps in before just spitting out his initial shot. “Look, you can’t just haul off and do that kind of shit, man. And you, you shitty monk, try talking first before you go off half cocked with that kisser of yours.”

Violet eyes gazed at him dispassionately, contradicted by the slightest of smirks on those thin lips. Hakkai chuckled, that laugh that said he would be changing the subject. “It was more to get your attention. Anyway, we have an idea to run by you both, if you don’t mind listening.”

The couple snorted in almost the same breath, and Gojyo jumped a little because he had been unaware that Goku had maneuvered around him to stand at his right side. For a moment, he wondered if the brunet was disappointed, either for missing his kissing scene with Hakkai or for missing out on a kiss of his own with the green eyed man. Hakkai was the first one he’d shown interest in, after all.

“Perhaps things would be easier if we all took to the same bed?”

The red head felt himself blink. (What the hell kind of question-)

“…What?” Beside him, Goku sounded genuinely confused. “There’s no way we’d all fit in the same bed unless it was really big.”

An insect sang in the silence.

“They’re suggesting we all have sex together,” Gojyo said tersely, folding his arms across his chest and watching his lover from the corner of his eye. (Okay, there’s no way he didn’t figure that out, did he? Whatever. …I don’t know that Sanzo would have anything to do with me. We piss each other off too much.) “For a better term, an orgy, in which everyone gets screwed. Not to be mixed up with a gang-bang, which implies one person getting really screwed by lots of partners.”

The short brunet looked up at him, arms crossing over his own chest in mimicry. There was an unpleasant look in his narrowed gold eyes. He demanded, “How do you know that?”

“The porn, monkey, the porn.” He hissed, and was hissed at in return.

“Perverted- you’re such a pervert- you lecherous, porn-watching, plate-wearing kappa--”

“Excuse me? Over here?” The other brunet in the room called patiently.

“No way!” Gojyo turned on his friend with his anger, one arm thrown wide as though to cut through the situation’s absurdity. “What the hell are you thinking? Are you thinking at all? Just what kind of a creep do you think I am?”

“Gojyo.” Hakkai’s voice was soft, but he plowed on regardless.

“The two of you have been waiting for me to fuck up but I haven’t so you go and suggest this? Right? Just because Sanzo’s a bastard of a coward who couldn’t ever make the first move-”

“No, Gojyo. We-”

“I’ve been busting my ass, bending over backward to make things right for him- to be good to him!”

“It's not that you've not been good to him, or that you'll sleep with anything or whatever else crap is thinking of spilling from your damned mouth.” Sanzo's voice was sharpened steel as it sliced into the conversation. One eye was twitching, possibly from the pornography comments. "And don't think I'm comforting your ass. I'm not."

Hakkai lifted his chin slightly, the glass over his right eye reflecting the light. "Gojyo, this is more about wants and possibly satisfying them."

"Wants? This entire time it's been nothing but your wants! Your wants is what started this entire insane affair in the first place!"

Sanzo leaned on one elbow, watching with his droopy violet eyes. "So you wouldn't take the chance if you could?"

Gojyo returned the stare. (Before Goku, maybe I would have, but-) "No. There’s no way we’re doing that!”

“Why not?” All eyes turned on Goku. He gazed at his red haired lover searchingly, the outrage strangely gone. His arms were loosely clasped at the elbows, instead of tight in anger. Other emotions were flickering too fast on his face to read. “I’ve seen you watch them when they’re not looking, and I know it turns us both on when we can hear them doing it. So, why not if it’s what you want?”

(I did NOT just hear that.) He could feel the disbelief grow on his own face as he stared down at him. “Goku.”

“If it’s what you want, then why not, Gojyo?”

(Is this because he wants Hakkai? Or both of them? Is that what he wants? Could I let that happen? Could I let him fuck them if it’s what he wants? Could I fuck them if it’s what he wants? Have I corrupted him that bad? Is this my fault? It’s got to be my fault.)

“Is that what you want?” He countered and turned away, starting towards the open sliding doors. (I fuck up even why I try my damnedest not to. I should have stuck to ‘no’ the first damned time.) “Then I’m breaking up with you.”

“…What?” Goku sounded dismayed.

“That’s cheating, and you’re not the type to do that. I’m not going to let you, and I’m not going to cheat on you. ” He halted, his last step more of a stomp to emphasize the point. “It doesn’t matter if you know about it or if you’re there participating together. Things like that are different when you’re someone’s lover. You don’t share things like that in a relationship. You want them? If that’s what you want, if that makes you happy, then I’m breaking up with you so you can have that.”

There was silence behind him, but it broke before he took two steps. “But you like it, too!” A hand caught him by the back of his shirt. “You get just as turned on listening to them as I do! I’ve seen you watch them with those eyes, the ones when you’re turned on! I know you want to!”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, I’m your lover! You are my lover, not them, and I’m not going to do something that would hurt that. I’ve been trying to teach you about a normal relationship even though I have no fucking idea what that is. If you want them then you can have them. But I’m not going to let you cheat on me, so I’m calling it off. I’m not cheating, and you’re not cheating.” Arms wrapped around the red head’s waist, a slender body pressing against his back and he couldn’t help the slumping of his shoulders, his long hair shifting around his face. “Fucking hell, Goku, don’t make me feel like shit doing something that’s good for you.”

“I can’t do it if you’re not. I couldn’t do it if you weren’t there.” The arms around his waist tightened. “…You never say anything about what you want. I know you want them even if you don’t say so. I just wanted to do something for you.”

Gojyo slid to his knees, hands catching his weight between his knees on the tatami mat. The brunet stayed glued to him, moving almost bonelessly with him. Goku’s voice was soft as he continued speaking before burying his face in the red haired kappa’s back . “You drive me crazy, you know? All this time, you’ve hardly said anything. You haven’t complained about the lack of women. You haven’t been gambling as much as you used to. You buy me food and let me have the last pot sticker. I just wanted something that you’d like.”

He stared down at the seam of the mats in front of him, feeling shell-shocked. His ears were even starting to ring.

There was a rustling, then footsteps vibrating over the floor with the distinctive sound of Sanzo’s robes as they shifted against his legs. The blond’s presence stopped beside them. His ears tracked the sound of Sanzo patting Goku on the head, then a slim yet warm hand grasped his shoulder for a moment, the gold ring cool in contrast especially against the black silk. Then Sanzo walked away, pausing in the doorway without turning. “Hakkai.”

The older brunet rose, went to pat them both on the head and then followed the priest from the room in silence.

“…You feel cold.” Goku’s voice was muffled against his back, the sound vibrating against his skin. The red head couldn’t answer past the lump in his throat. He had a sudden craving for strong liquor, good or otherwise.

((I just wanted something that you’d like.))

Gojyo suddenly realized just how much of himself he’d invested into what was supposed to be a not quite real relationship. Hakkai and Sanzo made him hard when he thought about their sex, but all his fantasies now revolved around taking Goku to bed and keeping him there. He had even jacked off to Goku when he couldn’t have him these past few days, hadn’t he, when he could have jacked off to any image he wanted. It all hinged on the fact that he felt- something- for Goku now.

Goku really had become his lover.

(No wonder I feel like shit.)

“Gojyo, you really do feel cold. Let’s go to the bath and soak, okay?” The arms wrapped around his waist let go, and Goku settled in front of him a little awkwardly. One of those small, hard hands touched his cheek, the scarred one, and he didn’t flinch. It lifted his head up, enough that Goku could look him in the eyes. “Come on, okay? A hot soak will do you good.”

He blinked and Goku stood up, grabbed him by one elbow and urged him up on his feet. Once that was done, he guided the taller man through the inn to the baths.

It was surreal to Gojyo, following behind the small brunet to the bath, letting him strip him of his clothing and take him through to the springs. He settled into the water as those hands told him to even as he flinched from the temperature.

“I’m going to change and get towels and then I’ll be back, ne?”

The scent of minerals drifted around him as he folded himself down into the hot water. (It’s a Goku complex. Then again, having a Goku complex would be like having a mother complex like he rants about, wouldn’t it.) A chuckle escaped him, one that was free of any hysteria but still slightly bitter. (Damned monkey, what have you done to me? Odds are good we’re not making it back from this shitty trip. If anyone does come back, best bet’s on Goku and Hakkai. Man, Hakkai’s always making me look bad. )

The heat from the water had penetrated the chill in his skin, and he didn’t realize it was that bad until his fingers and toes began to hurt then. He flexed them absently. (…Sanzo might make it back just on the grounds of being a mean, stubborn bastard. Maybe Goku having someone else to go to… wouldn’t be such a bad idea? He hasn't been touched enough and I’ve been wondering that he really might not ever get over it. Five hundred years in a cave might do that... damn it, it’s such complicated shit to think about.)

There was a splash behind him, and he looked back at Goku who had a basin in his hand. The brunet waded out to him and proceeded to dump water over him slowly, along his shoulders and back, his neck and head. Gojyo curled into a ball, closed his eyes and flexed his aching digits again. Once they stopped aching and his body was warm, he lowered his legs and stretched them out before him. “Thanks, that’s enough.”

Goku waded around in front of him, the basin half filled in his hand. There were words on his lips that died as he looked the red head in the face; he stared, then dumped the basin over himself. He left the basin floating on the water with Gojyo and waded into the depths of the springs, where he dunked himself repeatedly.

Gojyo watched him silently, admiring the way the water slid off the younger man’s skin between dunks. Finally, he stopped and held still, the gold of his coronet peeking through his soaked hair. “Gojyo, are we okay? Are we still lovers?”

“…Yeah. Until you don’t want me any more.”

Goku waded back to him with much splashing, until he stopped where the kappa’s feet rested. He stared fixedly at the red head. “Your hair’s wet.”

He just looked at him; the numbness hadn’t worn off yet.

The brunet half crawled, half climbed up his legs, and his breath caught in his throat. He knelt and kissed Gojyo chastely, fingers threading into the wet silk. Kisses rained down on his face, his scars, eyelids and the ridiculously long eyelashes that he was damned proud of and framed the crimson eyes he couldn’t hide.

He couldn’t help his hands settling on Goku’s waist.

He was kissed again, and he managed to respond a little. Hard fingers flexed against his scalp, and Goku pressed their foreheads together. He closed his eyes and tightened his grip on him, slid his hands lower to his hips. “Damned monkey.”

“Let’s go sit on the rocks.”

They went, but only Gojyo sat on the rocks ringing the edge of the pool. Goku knelt between his spread knees and pressed his mouth to his skin. It made him jerk and shiver, and the numbness was fading away, had faded enough to make him curse himself for letting the monkey control his actions. His hair wet seemed to be a sexual trigger for his lover.

Goku hadn’t even touched his genitalia yet.

His mouth moved over his torso, over hip bones and thighs. It was gentle, it was worshipful- it was almost enough to keep him from realizing that Goku was already fully erect. Then Goku’s mouth slid over his sac and the thought fled. He leaned back on his hands and spread his knees wider. He wanted to watch but closed his eyes, only paid attention to the sensations. He was aware of when Goku began fingering him, slid a finger inside him and brushed it over his prostrate. It sent chills over his skin. Then Goku’s mouth finally closed over his erection, and he only noticed the second and third fingers as something good, something that made him writhe and arch into.

The lost of those fingers and mouth was something of a shock, but not as much as when Goku nudged his erection inside him. He sure hadn't asked for it or given permission. It didn’t hurt but it made him ache, stretched walls forced to stretch more, and he opened his mouth to express his outrage at all of it when Goku slowly pulled back and thrust back in.

Only a surprised moan made it out of Gojyo’s mouth.

He focused on Goku, surprised. His arms and hands were braced on either side of Gojyo’s hips, and strain was evident in every muscle. It was on his down turned face.

Goku pulled out and thrust in again, just as slowly.

It should have been ridiculous, his small lover fucking him, but the erect length sliding against his prostate begged to differ. The red head took a deep breath and drew his long legs in against Goku’s sides and back. He looked up at him at that, questioning. Gojyo stared back and tightened his legs. (As much as it feels good, that angle is going to kill his back. He deserves it, though, for not ask-)

Goku moved and moved, not too slowly but slow enough. It took getting used to, the pleasure versus the overly stretched feeling, and his back was hurting from the strange position, his arms fatigued. As Gojyo finally laid back, he noticed the lubricant on the rocks next to him as the one he kept in his pants pocket. (Fucking- thieving- monkey-)

The brunet moved one arm, getting a shoulder under one of the kappa's knees. He used the leverage to sink deeper into Gojyo, his scrotum a weight against the other's buttocks. Gojyo didn't know if he liked it. It was one thing if he was the one balls deep in his lover, quite another for the opposite to be true.

But then each steady, slow stroke began making him see stars.

“I’m not going to break,” he croaked. “Faster.”

Gojyo came unexpectedly after Goku sped up, a few drops over his hip from his neglected cock. He wrapped a hand around the hard flesh to milk himself dry even as his inner muscles clamped down on Goku’s erection inside him. It made the brunet cry out and shudder. A brief sensation of wet made itself known inside his body as his lover collapsed on top of him.

Moments passed as they laid there, panting. Unhooking his raised knee, the kappa slid his legs down to a more comfortable position. It caused interesting sensations to flutter inside him and he ignored it as he tried to take in what just happened and what to do about it. It hadn't been mind-blowing because it had been too unexpected, too unreal. (And damn it, who the hell told the monkey he could do that?)

"It's harder being on top." The comment was mumbled into the red head's stomach. Said red head made a fist and firmly brought it down on the back of Goku's head.

"Harder being on top- what the hell do you think you're doing trying it in the first place!" Struggling to sit up admist Goku's cries and whines, he found himself mostly pinned down. "I sure as hell never did! Idiot monkey!"

"Your hair was wet! And you wrecked my ass earlier!" Scrambling up off of Gojyo, the brunet made no move to pull out. "And I don't care what you say, I like this kind of sex best!"

"Then you bottom, damn it! Get off of me!" Stars danced across his vision once more, and suddenly his backside did more than just ache. Gojyo began to curse a blue streak at the pain even as his voice wavered from the brief pleasure. A tongue gliding over his hip stopped him mid rant.

"... You're complaining, but you still came." Goku's voice was speculative and quiet. "You're really hot and tight inside, and it's hard to think. All I wanted to do was move. It was hard to think about what you needed to feel good, too. And my back hurts."

"Good." He stared up at the sky, realizing he'd never noticed that the sun was gone and only a little light was left. All their light came from laterns strung around the perimiter of the springs and from the open door to the showers and changing area. "You deserve to be punished for getting ahead of yourself like that."

The water splashed, and Goku slid up over him for a kiss. He allowed it on the grounds that the brunet was doing all the work. Fingers tangled in his hair, and his hands settled on the brunet's hips before sliding up his back. He broke the kiss, and gold eyes stared down at him. It was un-nerving because those gold eyes were cat slitted. (How long have his eyes been like that? I never noticed...)

"You look better than you did before. Are you sure we're all right?"

"Yeah." (I think.) "Don't think I'm letting you off the hook."

"I couldn't help it. You're really hot when your hair's all wet."

"That doesn't mean you can fuck me."

"Do you really not want to fuck Sanzo and Hakkai?"

"Watch your mouth, brat."

"Well?"

"Well, nothing. My ass hurts and it's your fault." (Was it Goku or the Seiten Taisen that just did me?) It didn't really bear thinking about, he decided. Besides, he was wrung out on too many levels to dwell on it. He'd deal with it all later. "Consider yourself my personal slave and errand boy rolled into one, monkey."

"...Shit."

Gojyo laughed at him.
+++

TBC...
+++