Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Alone in Eden ❯ E ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: Gravitation is property of Maki Murakami. Sadly, I do not own anything. --

Note: This is dedicated to ln and patosan for introducing me to the wonderful world of Tohma and Eiri. Thanks!

Author's Note: Due to changes in the plot of the story later on, I've made some editing changes that probably won't be that obvious until part seven or eight. For those who care: Tohma and Mika are not married. Thank you.

Please, enjoy!

Alone in Eden

Part Five

Sakuma Ryuichi was the same age as Seguchi Tohma. He already possessed the best companion he could ever hope for, though he was pink and inanimate, but he was trying to make friends with the thing Tohma had brought with him, anyway.

He was cute all over.

His hair shined the color of his favorite crayon under the florescent bulbs of the dressing bureau.

His eyes were the same way, pretty yellow, perhaps a bit more golden.

He was slender and pale.

The boy definitely reminded him of Tohma.

Was he fun like Tohma, too?

Ryuichi bounced happily towards him- acutely aware of the fact that Tohma's guest inhabited the blonde's personal space even more as he took hold of his hand and squeezed it tightly- to find out.

"Hello, pikapika friend of Tohma! Would you like to have some yummies?" From the air, he produced a fistful of candy. The stubborn little thing shook his head, clutching tighter to Tohma, who was too preoccupied with a conversation to notice.

He was obviously afraid.

Ryuichi pouted.

He didn't want that.

"What about Kumagoru? Would you like to have him, instead?" He pulled the magenta, long-eared bunny from his pocket before shoving it at him, and unexpectedly, the boy screamed.

It was a quiet sound, no louder than a squeak, but the fear was there, the fear was evident, and Tohma frantically turned, clutching the boy to him, protecting him with his body. Ryuichi cocked his head to the side.

This was different.

Very different.

He could never remember Tohma being so apprehensive about something as trivial as this. Ryuichi hadn't done anything wrong.

Had he?

What are you hiding, Tohma?

Ryuichi's squinting led him to another realization:

Tohma was wearing gloves. They were the nice leather kind, and they were black.

Black?

It looked odd compared to the bright colors he wore, thank to Noriko's persistent and forcible attitude, as well as KEEN fashion sense. Ryuichi hadn't seen anything like this before.

Tohma, under normal circumstances, was a touchy-feely type of person. Ryuichi knew his platinum-haired friend like the cold plastic of his keys beneath bare fingers, liked the close contact of others when he permitted himself to be familiar.

It was as though Tohma was trying to build a wall around himself.

Why?

Tohma's archaic yet effective glare suddenly gave Ryuichi a chill.

Could it be...

"Ryuichi-san." His words were crisp, collected. "Please apologize to Eiri-kun for scaring him."

He HATED when Tohma was like this.

But, obediently, he bowed to the young, large-eyed boy. Kumagoru also mimicked the action...with the help of Ryuichi's hand.

"We are sorry, nanoda. Honestly, we are." He sounded completely genuine and serious. Eiri was torn between nodding in acceptance and shrinking back further behind Tohma. He now clutched at the slightly taller blonde's waist, making Ryuichi wonder.

Who, exactly, was he?

"I-I'm fine. It's okay. I was just...thinking about something else." He smiled sweetly. "You only startled me -um-" He paused, searching for a proper name.

Ryuichi supplied him with one.

"Sakuma Ryuichi." He held up his most sacred companion. "And, this is Kumagoru...Kuma-chan for short." The bunny was suddenly pressed to Ryuichi's ear. "What's that, Kuma? You think he's cute?" Blue eyes stared into beady black buttons. "Me, too! What's your name, cute friend of Tohma?"

"U-Uesugi Eiri," he whispered, making Ryuichi jump up and down with pure joy.

He had answered him!

He was now his friend!

Hopefully...

"Do you sing, Uesugi Eiri?" The name was addicting and rolled easily off his tongue.

He liked it.

"Well, I-"

"Do you sing? Do you?" Ryuichi glanced at Tohma, who was secretly trying to hide the half-smile and starry-eyed expression on his face as he watched the cute Uesugi Eiri.

The vocalist nodded.

Ah...

So that was it.

"Does he?" Tohma couldn't resist laughing and pushed Eiri forward gently.

"Go on," he prompted, touching the youth's hair carefully. Those blonde tendrils slid oddly between his glove-encased fingers, appearing strange but somehow forthcoming to those that watched- Ryuichi and one of Nittle Grasper's crewmen. "I have some things to take care of before the concert."

Eiri shook his head.

"No," he spoke through clenched teeth. "I want to stay with you."

Ryuichi grinned.

The cute thing was definitely infatuated.

He could see WHY, though.

Tohma was absolutely beautiful. His hair glowed the color of bleached wheat, too blonde to be real, and it had the texture of silk, as smooth and creamy as his alabaster skin. Ryuichi had to admit he knew this well because he didn't like to keep his hands to himself. Plus, Tohma was just too pretty.

He liked pretty things.

Even the boy pleading silently with Tohma.

"Eiri." Tohma gave a half-hearted sigh. It was clear he didn't want to tell him 'no.' "You...have to stay here."

His mouth opened to protest, but he then thought otherwise and was quiet.

He was such the submissive one, it seemed.

Ryuichi watched as Tohma leaned to whisper something into the boy's ear, earning a nod and a blush.

"O-okay." Eiri gave a weak, unsettled smile. "I'll...stay." The bunny-carrying singer arched an eyebrow.

What had he said?

"That's the Eiri I know," Tohma answered, running his hands through that mass of gold before turning away, talking rapidly with the stagehand, who immediately bowed and left, the blonde keyboardist right behind him. At the exit of Nittle Grasper's dressing room, Tohma turned, hand placed lightly on the doorframe.

"Be good," he said, touching his free hand to his mouth in a wavering gesture that seemed to affect the cute thing standing beside Ryuichi in a predicting manner, confirming the singer's original thought.

There WAS something going on between them.

Eiri nodded in response, his voice lovely and seductive. He could see why there was such fascination...

"I will."

But, Ryuichi knew Tohma was speaking to him. He had this habit of...misbehaving.

Yes. That was a good word to describe it.

Tohma disappeared after that, and Eiri nervously shuffled his feet, shifting his eyes to avoid looking at the singer standing beside him. When the elder blonde had convinced him to come- it was Nittle Grasper's first performance IN Kyoto- he'd been afraid to say 'yes.' It would be time ALONE with Tohma, with strangers he didn't know, and since that time he'd spent with his sister and her fiancé, Eiri couldn't imagine what their disclosed relationship would be like NOW. He'd experienced the taste of his mouth, the brush of his tongue along his teeth, his OWN tongue, the ghost of his delicate fingers along his naked skin...

Eiri felt himself shudder.

His cheeks flushed a bright pink.

There was no doubt in his mind, whatsoever, that Tohma cared for him in a way uncharacteristic of a future brother-in-law, but in all honesty, he didn't care. When Tohma had first come into his line of vision one early afternoon, he'd almost dropped the notebook in his hand.

The first thing he'd IMMEDIATELY noticed was the blazing golden hair waving gently in the wind. Eiri remembered touching his own, reassuring himself it was it was still there, unable to stop himself from staring.

A…Japanese man? With blonde hair? Like…him? Eiri had thought it particularly strange that the other didn't have his face hidden, lowered in shame for being so different, so out of place, and perhaps he had fallen in love with THAT Tohma first, with his smiling boldness, a serene beauty Eiri wanted to possess.

He never had been too sure about that certain aspect of the other, though. Tohma had always been an enigma to him, some strange, forbidden thing he couldn't touch without fear of the death of his very soul, but that first impression of him was as engraved in his brain as the image of Tohma in New York, the first time he'd had tears on his cheeks, and the image of lustful, blackened turquoise eyes, the face of a man who wanted to consume him.

Eiri sniffed and nearly jumped into the wall when a loud, robust yell broke his thoughts. Larger than normal yellow eyes stared at the man standing in the room with him.

Ryuichi was screaming…pointlessly. Yet, he seemed to be enjoying himself, and Eiri wasn't sure if he'd lost his mind or not.

It scared him.

But…

Then, he wasn't yelling, there was something smooth and undeniably addicting coming from his mouth, burning Eiri's ears, and the crazy man became so alluring that Eiri could only stand where he was, hypnotized.

Something that harmonic should have been a sin.

Sin…

Eiri felt his heart pound, and he blinked.

What was this?

He stared at Ryuichi again, taking in the beauty of his solemn expression, the skinny body clad in tight clothes, midriff naked, and he knew heat was seeping into his face.

This Sakuma Ryuichi WAS a sin.

He was a god…

And, it scared him.

Just a few minutes ago, he had been standing in a room with TWO inhuman deities, their powers so completely different yet just as equal, and he hadn't even realized it. Ryuichi had the ability, it seemed, to make him want, to make him think unrealistic, almost dirty thoughts, and Tohma…

Tohma's eyes screamed for him to DO those dirty things to HIM, to defy all possibilities and go with him into sin, to freely commit it with him.

Eiri shivered again.

He couldn't possibly be thinking about this…about THAT.

The way Tohma's lips had felt, pressed to his own…

The way Tohma's tongue had plunged into his mouth…

He wanted that now.

He…wanted ALL of THAT now, but…

But…

He'd been abandoned, left to this strange oddity with a voice like a siren's, and Eiri had the sudden urge to scream with him, to run to him and grab his hand, dance with him, and revel in the beauty and happiness his aura expelled in colorful waves. A blush slowly worked its way onto his face at the thought.

It would be too improper, too promiscuous, too…

"Sing, nano?"

Eiri jumped back, away from the handsome face with huge blue eyes, but this time, he did not scream. Instead, he merely remained quiet. Ryuichi poked his arm.

"You want to, noda? Sing?" He held out his version of a microphone, his hand balled into a fist, and offered it to him.

"No, I-"

"Please? Sing, cute Eiri. Sing, nanoda!"

"I-" Ryuichi grabbed the youth by the shoulders and tugged him towards the dressing bureau. A radio sat against the mirror, innocent but somehow looming. Eiri swallowed hard, but he could not remove the lump from his throat.

Why did he feel so nervous? Doing what Ryuichi asked should have been simple, but it wasn't. It seemed so much more complicated than it was supposed to be, and Eiri wrung his fingers tightly, sweating.

Don't think…

Don't think…

Eiri watched the singer push the `play' button, and sensual music flooded the room, wrapping the blonde boy in a chilling embrace of notes. He found he couldn't move, that a heavy weight had been placed on his chest to prevent him from breathing. It sounded SO familiar.

He KNEW this.

"W-what-" His mouth refused to form words. He was far too captivated by what he was hearing to speak.

Haunting…

Luscious…

It was…

No. It couldn't be-

"Nori-chan found it. The music. Tohma wrote it, nano, but there aren't any words yet." Ryuichi paused to look at him. "Want to…eh?" Eiri was shaking, his lips trembling, his already pale skin whiter than it had been, and his eyes, those pretty, pretty honey eyes, glistened with tears.

"It…"

"Are you sick, noda?" Ryuichi stretched his arm out to touch him, curious, almost a little worried, but Eiri moved forward, pushing the singer out of his way as he frantically searched for something atop the bureau's surface.

Jars of makeup and bottles of perfume were knocked over, colorful powder and mountains of glitter pouring everywhere, and when Eiri finally stopped, his chest heaving, his cheeks smeared with the saltine essence of tears, his fingers clutched at a single tube of lipstick like a life preserver.

Ryuichi arched an eyebrow.

Odd…

"You like that stuff, nano?" Ryuichi bounced over to him. "Nori-chan's usually the only one who wears it, but Kumagoro and I think it's prettiful. Ne, Kuma-chan?" The pink bunny was back, suspended by Ryuichi's hand. "You-"

"Shut…up…" Eiri turned slowly, pulling the cap off the cylinder he held. "I…I have to…" He placed his back to the other again, facing the mirror, and Eiri placed the lipstick against its cold surface as he began to write.

The music still played, was still as ghostly as it had been when Ryuichi had started it, and Eiri allowed it to overtake him, to control him as his hand flew across the glass, staining it with crimson letters.

Red…

Blood…

Eiri could feel it pouring from his fingers, faster and faster, his wrist aching as he bled his thoughts into the mirror, and as the synth cried out in agony through the speakers, touching him to the depths of his soul, he could feel Tohma's presence behind him, wrapping those strong arms around him, his hand guiding him, his breath on his neck, his voice an airy whisper in his ear. His eyes squeezed shut, a sob escaping his throat.

He wanted to be there…

Be there with HIM, with Tohma…

Forever.

To be there, in his embrace, the security of his warm shield and powerful aura, to just…be there…

I love you…

Always.

Slowly, he withdrew himself as the music faded away, and the illusion of an imaginary Tohma evaporated, leaving him empty. The lipstick fell from his shaking fingers, landing on the floor with a loud clatter after rolling off the bureau.

"You want to sing?" he asked, his voice trembling. Ryuichi stared at him, perplexed.

Those words…

Eiri pointed to the mirror, his heart rupturing.

"Sing that."

- - - - -

Tohma tried to remember how to breathe as the stage lights poured over him and the sweat rolled down his cheeks. His ears rang with the thrum of speakers deafening him, the crowd of swarming bodies just as loud as they screamed and sang with Ryuichi, and his fingers, already numb from playing enthusiastically for the past hour, merely walked the keyboard out of sheer memorization. Too many things were on his mind, and he couldn't concentrate as well as he'd wanted to, either. Yet, Noriko and Ryuichi were making up for his lack of energy.

The only female member of Nittle Grasper sparkled behind her synthesizer, that shimmering smile and sultry voice enrapturing the audience as she sang along, harmonizing with their singer, and her purple hair was radiant, a perfect match to her unique style.

Ryuichi, on the other hand, hadn't smiled since the music had flooded the arena, and their fans loved him for it. He was sexy, sultry, and had already peeled off the sweat-soaked shirt he'd been dressed in, his willowy body supple and flawless as he danced, singing as eerily as ever.

Tohma sighed heavily, the pretentious grin he'd learned to master plastered skillfully to his face. His attention was too focused on the boy standing off-stage to really enjoy the concert and play his best. From the corner of his eye, he could see K standing beside him, arms crossed, his magnum strapped to his side, and when turquoise met radioactive blue, Tohma swallowed harshly.

K wasn't as stupid as many thought. He knew there was no heart in his performance.

The towering blonde suddenly winked as he patted Eiri on the head before pushing him into Ryuichi's arms, a look of horror on the youth's face. Ryuichi pulled him to the center of the stage, his lips already pressed to the mic.

Tohma hadn't even realized the song had ended…

"Hey! Are you having a good time?!" The crowd screamed back at him, excited and somewhat perplexed at Eiri's presence beside the most famous pop idol in Japan. "We're glad to hear it!" There was a pause, and the silence that followed was so quiet that Eiri could hear his pulse pounding in his ears. "Unfortunately, this is going to be our last song, BUT it's brand new! And, my friend Eiri is gonna sing with me!"

Eiri shook his head in disbelief, his entire body unable to move.

What…was he doing?

Tohma whipped his head around to stare at Noriko, buts he only shrugged.

They both knew Ryuichi well enough to realize he wouldn't make a mistake…even with something as unpredictable as this.

They were just going to have to deal with it, but…

But...what about Eiri?

What about him?

Pleading lemon eyes told him he did not want to be there, that Ryuichi was crazy for saying such a thing, and yet…

Yet…

Tohma could do nothing.

He was as helpless as he'd always been, and the boy he wanted to save and protect and love for eternity, in this life and the next and even beyond that was being shoved even further into the adult world without his consent.

First Kitazawa and now this?

Tohma closed his eyes in defeat, every sound, every thought blocked out of his mind.

What kind of person was he?

He couldn't be the mentor Eiri wanted him to be. He couldn't be the husband his fiancé was GOING to want him to be. He…

He couldn't be anything.

I'm sorry, Eiri. I'm-

Abruptly, the music stopped him. At first, it was hazy, almost inaudible, and with a glance, he knew Noriko wasn't playing. She was just as stupefied as he was.

"What-"

When Ryuichi opened his mouth to sing, the entire world froze. There wasn't a single sound or movement, and Eiri wriggled away from his captor, running directly towards the man standing paralyzed behind his keyboard. The moment he wrapped his arms around his waist, he began to cry.

And, he cried like he never had before. It was quiet and agonizing, as powerful as the song flooding the speakers and the words accompanying it, and Tohma hugged him back, wanting to hide him, keep him safe from the world.

It didn't matter that the music playing was his, that he'd written it out of remorse and a tragic lost love he couldn't have.

Tohma wanted Eiri to hear it.

Eiri HAD to hear it.

"Help me…somebody, please…help me…" Ryuichi crooned, cradling the mix in his hand as though it were fragile, totally lost to the fact that Eiri wasn't beside him anymore.

Tohma ran his fingers through Eiri's hair and tilted his chin up, desperate for the boy in his arms to look at him.

"What…what is this?"

He'd said it.

Oh, God, he'd said it, and…

And, he was asking Eiri like he knew the answer, like he knew everything.

But…

Eiri was sniffling, rubbing his hands across his eyes, smearing away the tears.

He DID know.

Eiri…

How?

"B-be there," he whispered, his eyes sucking Tohma into their cat-shaped depths. "Be there. I-I wrote it…" Eiri bit his lip and clutched at the other even tighter, afraid to let him go.

Afraid to…

"Eiri-"

"I wrote it for you!" And, he buried his face against his chest, shaking.

- - - - -

It was quiet when Tohma finally managed to return Eiri home…and quite late. The Uesugi Temple seemed rather unnatural amidst the dark solitude, the fortress as resilient as ever, and when the half-asleep boy pushed the door open, drowsy, still drunk on euphoria from the concert, he fell forward, tripping over his own feet. He caught himself, hands spread against the wall, back arched slightly, and Tohma blinked.

He could possess him so easily in that position, press against him, slide his hands over him, and…

No!

How could he be thinking something so…so…sexual right now?

Now was not a good time.

In fact, there should never have been a good time.

What was wrong with him?

Eiri could barely stand on his own, and he was thinking about THAT?

Tohma decided he definitely needed a "time out."

Semi-open golden eyes peered at him over a shoulder, and the older blonde swallowed difficultly.

Yes.

He needed a BIG "time out."

"Eiri-san," Tohma whispered, touching the boy by the arm to steady him.

Help, don't think. Help, don't think.

He repeated that phrase many times as Eiri spoke to him, incoherently rambling while pulling off his shoes and tugging Tohma down the hallway, its walls looming, judging. Tohma felt himself shiver.

He'd never liked this place, not ever, and with his pale-haired sin eagerly dragging him towards his bedroom, he hated it even more.

Tuck him in?

Not a good thing to do. Definitely, definitely not a good thing to-

EIIIRRRIIII!

Yet, he couldn't hear his thoughts, and Tohma was too terrified to open his mouth, too petrified to say anything.

He was such a coward, and he knew it.

Before long, Eiri's bedroom door stared at him, teasing him, taunting him in a way nothing else could. Tohma suddenly found himself very afraid and slightly aroused.

Must…resist…

The youth pushed the ominous barrier open, and they were sucked inside. It was hard to tell where he was at first, and when Eiri flicked on a lamp, the glow cast a spooky resonance throughout the room, illuminating bookshelf after bookshelf, the futon already spread out upon the floor. Tohma had forgotten this, Eiri's reading obsession, the traditional living style he was forced to endure, and he felt utterly ridiculous because of it.

Wasn't he supposed to remember?

Wasn't…

Eiri released his hand long enough to find pajamas, and then, he was giggling softly, clothes in his arms.

"Will you?" he asked innocently, unable to hide the blushing smile that toned his ivory skin an edible pink, and Tohma hesitated, biting his lip.

Did he have the self-restraint to dress Eiri? Could he…

"Please?"

Tohma unwillingly found himself pulled forward by Eiri's unbelievable charm, prisoner to his golden honey depths, and he kneeled, sliding his hands up the boy's sides. He felt every contour, every muscle, but oddly, he was calm, unbelievably relaxed, and those unrealistic, improper, dirty thoughts weren't surfacing even as bare skin met gloved fingers. Tohma was…relieved.

Maybe he could do this. Maybe…

He pulled Eiri's shirt over his head, tugging it softly to remove the material from his ears, and suddenly, something warm and delicious was pressed to his mouth, nibbling at his lips. Tohma's eyes flew open, stretching wider than normal.

Eiri was…

Oh, God.

Eiri was kissing him?

Kissing…

It was such an innocent thing, it was so obvious he didn't know exactly what he was doing, but his enthusiasm was more than making up for…

Tohma pulled away, his breathing labored.

No!

He'd promised himself that he-

"What's wrong?" Tohma looked at Eiri, ashamed, but words were eluding him at the moment. "I thought you wanted to-"

"No." The other's voice was flat, almost harsh. "Eiri-san, this is…"

The scowl caught him off-guard. He wasn't expecting THAT.

"I don't care if it's wrong. You always say that."

"Always? Eiri-san-" Fingers grabbed his shoulders, pulling him forward, and Eiri pressed Tohma's ear to his chest, cradling him.

"I'm tired of…of being alone," he whispered, his tone wavering. "I want to-"

Heat flooded Tohma's body, soft and juvenile, and the keyboardist found himself slipping further and further into the scorching recess known as Uesugi Eiri, his will power diminishing as it had before. Yet, this time, Tohma KNEW he wouldn't be able to stop if it continued beyond this.

"Eiri-"

That soft touch…

The tastes…

The smells…

He could…

"I want you to do something for me, Tohma."

Anything.

Anything for you, my beloved.

"Hmm?"

It was like a dream, one Tohma refused to wake up from, and in the end, that's all it would ever be:

A dream…

"Make love to me."

Tohma gazed deeply into Eiri's eyes, trying to think, desperate to keep his sanity, but he found he could not.

He just couldn't say `no' anymore.

Not anymore…

TBC-

A/N: Lemon anyone? XP