Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Apogee ❯ Chapter XVIII ( Chapter 18 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Gravitation is not owned by me, it is owned by Maki Murakami. I own nothing.

Author's Note: Ok... I know I promised a lemon, but I had to change a few things. The fluffy, sappy ending I had originally had in mind just wasn't working for me. Every time I tried to write it I got the worst case of writer's block imaginable! So, it seems these characters have a bit further to go before they get their ending -- happy or not remains to be seen. This is short, again, but I wanted to let you all know I'm still working on this! Enjoy, please!



Tohma felt as though he were floating, drifting free in a soft world where nothing hurt him, and a soft voice called his name while gentle fingers combed through his hair. He could hear that voice getting closer, the feel of the fingers becoming more solid, the feel of lying on something hard, of the bones of his hips protesting the thing he was lying on. He fought it, he didn't want to wake up, he didn't want that voice to go away, he didn't want to open his eyes and realize he had been hallucinating and Shuichi wasn't really there. When the familiar burn in his stomach made itself known, he sighed, feeling the hand in his hair pause, and he slowly opened his eyes. The sight of Shuichi looking down at him with a look of concern on his face almost made him smile, but he frowned again, feeling all the anger and resentment of the past year building as he slowly sat up, refusing Shuichi's help.

He looked over at Shuichi, noting the look of concern and dismissing it. He stood, shaking off Shuichi's attempts to help, emphasizing his annoyance with a light shove to Shuichi's shoulder that sent him back a step. He picked up his briefcase and the express envelope, looking at it before setting both on the dining room table. He took a deep breath and finally turned to look at Shuichi, keeping his expression closed and neutral.

"Why aren't you in Los Angeles?"

Shuichi was silent for a moment before answering. "I wanted to come home. LA's nice, but everything I love is in Tokyo."

Tohma allowed himself to scowl slightly at Shuichi, his mind replaying Shuichi's words. "So, if you're back because of Eiri, then what are you doing here? Did you two have a fight and you're trying to make him jealous again?"

Tohma could see the tears starting in Shuichi's eyes and ruthlessly squashed the urge to apologize and comfort him, make love to him. He made himself remember how he had watched as Shuichi threw himself at Eiri a few months ago, he hadn't forgotten that Shuichi had left with Eiri instead of staying with him, and he still remembered every harsh word that Nakano had said about his lack of judgment. He hadn't felt this anger at first; in fact it had been months before he had felt anything other than deep despair. The anger and resentment had built slowly, fueled by the few dreams he had, dreams where he was alone in a crowd, screaming at the top of his lungs and no one heard. Now he clung to it as a lifeline, depending on the anger to keep him strong.

Shuichi was vehemently shaking his head, taking a step forward before stopping when Tohma took a step back. Tohma allowed a bit more of the bitterness he was feeling to seep into his expression and Shuichi took a step back this time, confusion and determination showing as he squared his shoulders.

"We're not together anymore, Tohma, you know that. I didn't come back because of Yuki, I came back because of you."

"I really don't want to hear it, Shuichi. After everything your friend Nakano said, I don't think I can believe that you came back because of your feelings for me. Get dressed, I'll have my driver take you back to Eiri."

Shuichi stood quietly for a moment without moving a muscle, stunned at this change in Tohma. He had been mean before, when he'd first been dating Yuki, but this felt different. Before, the anger had been cold, but this was white-hot and he felt the heat from across the room. He finally looked away from Tohma, fastened his pants and buttoned the front of his shirt, then took his bag and left, not bothering to wait for Tohma, not bothering to wait for the elevator. He took the stairs down all eleven floors and began the walk to the train station. Not needing to take the train, Tohma hadn't chosen his building for its convenience; he had chosen it for its ready availability and security features, so the walk turned out to be nearly fifteen minutes to get to the nearest station.

The ride home was uneventful, and Shuichi fell into his bed when he got home. He woke hours later and rolled over, trying to ignore the cell phone ringing in his bag. After the fifth time his phone had gone quiet only to start ringing again immediately, he finally got up and pulled out the device, hitting the answer button and barking a sharp "What?" into it.

"Shuichi! Good News!"

Shuichi sighed. He should have known. "What is it, K? I'm not really in the mood to talk."

"No problem, I just thought you might like to know that Mr. Nikagawa signed the papers to transfer Bad Luck back to Japan. I just sent them over night express; you should have them tomorrow night. It's your show now, Shuichi."

Shuichi sat stunned, barely hearing the small click as the line disconnected. He closed the flip-phone and lay back on the bed. Tomorrow, he would get the papers from K and then it would be time to talk to Tohma. Shuichi smiled, lying back on the bed to try to get some more sleep. Maybe once Tohma realized he was serious about coming back, he'd be more like he was before Shuichi left.