Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Apogee ❯ Chapter XIX ( Chapter 19 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Saanrio 
When Shuichi leaves Yuki, he finds that he has more in common with Seguchi Tohma than either could have imagined, leaving Shuichi with a difficult choice.
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.08.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 378 | Status: Work In Progress
When Shuichi leaves Yuki, he finds that he has more in common with Seguchi Tohma than either could have imagined, leaving Shuichi with a difficult choice.
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.08.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 378 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: Gravitation is not owned by me, it is owned by Maki Murakami. I own nothing.
Author's Note: Well, here you are. I have more of an idea where this is going from here on out, so now the only issue is finding time to write! Enjoy!
Tohma paced back and forth in front of the windows behind his desk. His secretary had told him that Shuichi was there to see him almost an hour before, as well as several times since, and he still hadn't responded. He fervently wished he could honestly say he had a pressing meeting or conference call, or even just a call from Eiri to explain away the time, but he couldn't. He had to admit, even if just to himself that the unflappable Seguchi Tohma had spent the last hour pacing and procrastinating.
He hadn't seen Shuichi in two days, not since Shuichi had shown up in his apartment, obviously ready to seduce Tohma and probably confess his love. Tohma had listened to the new CD and the single that night, after he had finally calmed from the anger that had possessed him with a mind of its own. Tohma had known that most of the songs on the album were written after Shuichi left Eiri, and he knew they were Shuichi's way of dealing with the painful emotions. He also knew that Shuichi poured out his happiness and enthusiasm in his music, too, when it was present, and the single 'Fate' was a great example. An obvious love song, Tohma had little doubt who it was about, and he felt ashamed at the way he had treated Shuichi, but he knew it was necessary to continue as he had started.
After Shuichi had tried, again, to hurt himself, Tohma had wanted more than anything to be the one he turned to, but instead, he'd had a visit from a very angry and very protective Nakano Hiroshi. Though Tohma hadn't been intimidated in the slightest, some of Nakano's words had struck home more than Tohma would have liked. After all, it had been in his mind to tell Shuichi that what they had done was a mistake, and that they should go back to being nothing more than friends. It made Hiro's accusations of using Shuichi for his own twisted purposes a rather uncomfortable near-truth. But that would only make what he had to do easier, in the end.
He took a few deep breaths, then told his secretary to send Shuichi in and stood behind his desk, his back to the door as he stared out over the city and waited.
_________-------------------===========--------------------_________
Shuichi clenched his free hand in a fist, the other held carefully, the papers K had sent still in their express envelope. He had been standing at the end of the hall that led to Tohma's office for an hour, pacing between his secretary's desk and the elevator for much of the time. He had heard the woman announce to Tohma that he was here to see him several times, but he still hadn't been called back. Shuichi was wondering whether Tohma was busy or if he just didn't want to see him. Shuichi stopped, looking out the windows at the opposite end of the hall. Tohma had been so different the last time he had seen him. Shuichi had been so eager to see Tohma when he got back. When Yuki had taken him to Tohma's apartment and let him in, he had been practically bouncing with excitement. It had taken all his self-control to stay where he was and try to look enticing when Tohma walked in, but he had been so shocked at the way he had looked. Tohma was tired, more so than Shuichi could ever remember even Yuki looking.
When Tohma had fainted, Shuichi had been more than a little alarmed. He had rushed over, checked for blood and made sure he was breathing, then had sat beside him, running his fingers through Tohma's soft hair and just talking to him, about how much he had missed him, how sorry he was that he had left, how he had come back as soon as he found out the move was intended to be permanent. When he had seen Tohma's eyes start to flutter, he had just said his name, hoping to bring him around sooner. The anger and the bitterness had been something he hadn't been ready for. He had been prepared to confess his feelings, play 'Fate' for Tohma and apologize profusely. He had been prepared to have to vehemently defend his innocence at the transfer of Bad Luck to LA. He hadn't been prepared for a Tohma who hated him.
He looked up in surprise as the secretary's phone rang. She picked up, listened for a moment while glancing at him uncertainly, then hung up and told him Tohma was ready to see him. Shuichi took a deep breath as he started down the hallway to Tohma's office. He had carefully thought through what he wanted to say, what he had to be sure Tohma knew. He still held tight to the hope that Tohma would forgive him once he knew how Shuichi felt about him.
He knocked briefly on the door before opening it and stepping inside. Tohma stood behind his desk, looking out over the city, his back to Shuichi. Shuichi stepped up to the desk and bowed before taking the papers from their envelope and placing them on the desk.
Tohma turned and picked them up, glancing over them quickly before tossing them back on the desk. He turned to face Shuichi slowly and Shuichi almost lost what little nerve he had managed to hold onto while he was waiting and pacing.
"Why did you bring me these, Shindou-san?"
Shuichi visibly flinched at the formality in Tohma's voice. He swallowed nervously before he spoke.
"We want to come back to Japan. When we left, it was all Hiro and K. I didn't know- I didn't know it was supposed to be a transfer of our contract, I thought we were just going there to work on the one album."
"And this impacts me how?"
Shuichi slammed his hands down on the desk and leaned forward, feeling anger begin to bubble to the surface when Tohma gave no reaction at all. "I came back because of you! I wrote 'Fate' for you! Hiro was trying to protect me, but I don't need it! I love you, Tohma, and I won't let a contract get in the way!"
The only reaction Tohma showed to this speech was a slight rise of one eyebrow. He looked down at the papers on his desk, flipped to the signature page and quickly signed them, then shoved them across the desk to Shuichi. "Please keep such outbursts to a minimum Shindou-san. Your immaturity has been a constant issue, and apparently continues as such. Give these to my secretary on your way out, and tell K the rest of the band will be needed back ASAP. The CD release is only a month away, and Bad Luck has a lot of promoting to do."
Shuichi could only stand stunned as Tohma turned back to looking out the window.
"Was there something else, Shindou-san?"
"Didn't you hear me say I love you? Aren't you going to say anything?"
Tohma sighed and briefly rubbed the bridge of his nose. "As I said before, your immaturity has been a constant issue. I suggest you learn to tell the difference between fucking and making love before you get involved with anyone else."
Shuichi felt the tears starting to gather and wanted to say something, but looking at the tight back of the man in front of him, he began to wonder if perhaps he had seen things wrong. He picked up the papers and slowly walked out of the office, not looking back as he closed the door. He dropped the papers off with the secretary, and managed to keep his tears inside until he had made a quick call to K to tell him the news. He tried to sound perky and excited, but he had a feeling he had failed miserably. Finally leaving the NG building, he set off at a run, not caring where he was going or what or who might be in the way as he just ran, trying to run fast enough to get away from the pain threatening to rip him apart.
_________-------------------===========--------------------_________
As soon as the door closed, Tohma turned and hurried to the private bathroom connected to his office. He bent over the sink as what little he had managed to choke down that morning insisted on coming back up. He rinsed his mouth and stepped back out, unable to look at himself in the mirror. He couldn't stand what he had just done to Shuichi, couldn't stand the words he had forced himself to say. He stumbled across the office and lay down on one of the two couches, his eyes closed. He could hear Nakano's words again, 'if you want to keep him, you have to let him go.' Tohma was determined to keep Shuichi from harm, even if that meant hurting him now. Tohma only managed to bring pain to those he cared about. He had Eiri and his failed marriage with Mika as proof. The only reason Grasper survived was because he had never allowed his feelings for Ryuichi and Noriko to cross into love. NG survived because it was a business, and if it fell he would just build another. It was purely monetary in nature, no such feeling as love involved.
He lay still and was almost asleep when he heard the door to his office squeak open. He looked over, not having the energy or desire to get up. Ryuichi appeared, looking around for Tohma and crossing the room once he saw him, his face concerned and serious. Tohma slowly forced himself to sit up as he approached.
"Tohma, why were you laying down?"
Tohma smiled slightly, trying for a semblance of normalcy. " I didn't sleep last night. I'm just a little tired."
Ryuichi didn't look convinced, but let it slide as he asked his next question. "Did you know Shuichi is back?"
Tohma nodded, not trusting his voice.
"Have you seen him?"
He nodded again, this time hoping he could speak and not give anything away. "Yes, he asked me to sign the transfer for Bad Luck to return to Japan."
Ryuichi frowned. "Then why did he look so sad?"
Tohma managed to keep from breaking down by biting the inside of his lip. He had to remain strong. Shuichi would bounce back and be stronger for this. He had to be. To Ryuichi he merely shrugged.
In a lightning-fast change of mood, Ryuichi grinned and went to look for a box of Pocky he had only half-devoured and left in Tohma's desk. Tohma watched him as he tried to remember which drawer he had left the box in, finally getting up and retrieving it for him.
"Come on, Ryuichi, we have an album to finish."
Author's Note: Well, here you are. I have more of an idea where this is going from here on out, so now the only issue is finding time to write! Enjoy!
Tohma paced back and forth in front of the windows behind his desk. His secretary had told him that Shuichi was there to see him almost an hour before, as well as several times since, and he still hadn't responded. He fervently wished he could honestly say he had a pressing meeting or conference call, or even just a call from Eiri to explain away the time, but he couldn't. He had to admit, even if just to himself that the unflappable Seguchi Tohma had spent the last hour pacing and procrastinating.
He hadn't seen Shuichi in two days, not since Shuichi had shown up in his apartment, obviously ready to seduce Tohma and probably confess his love. Tohma had listened to the new CD and the single that night, after he had finally calmed from the anger that had possessed him with a mind of its own. Tohma had known that most of the songs on the album were written after Shuichi left Eiri, and he knew they were Shuichi's way of dealing with the painful emotions. He also knew that Shuichi poured out his happiness and enthusiasm in his music, too, when it was present, and the single 'Fate' was a great example. An obvious love song, Tohma had little doubt who it was about, and he felt ashamed at the way he had treated Shuichi, but he knew it was necessary to continue as he had started.
After Shuichi had tried, again, to hurt himself, Tohma had wanted more than anything to be the one he turned to, but instead, he'd had a visit from a very angry and very protective Nakano Hiroshi. Though Tohma hadn't been intimidated in the slightest, some of Nakano's words had struck home more than Tohma would have liked. After all, it had been in his mind to tell Shuichi that what they had done was a mistake, and that they should go back to being nothing more than friends. It made Hiro's accusations of using Shuichi for his own twisted purposes a rather uncomfortable near-truth. But that would only make what he had to do easier, in the end.
He took a few deep breaths, then told his secretary to send Shuichi in and stood behind his desk, his back to the door as he stared out over the city and waited.
_________-------------------===========--------------------_________
Shuichi clenched his free hand in a fist, the other held carefully, the papers K had sent still in their express envelope. He had been standing at the end of the hall that led to Tohma's office for an hour, pacing between his secretary's desk and the elevator for much of the time. He had heard the woman announce to Tohma that he was here to see him several times, but he still hadn't been called back. Shuichi was wondering whether Tohma was busy or if he just didn't want to see him. Shuichi stopped, looking out the windows at the opposite end of the hall. Tohma had been so different the last time he had seen him. Shuichi had been so eager to see Tohma when he got back. When Yuki had taken him to Tohma's apartment and let him in, he had been practically bouncing with excitement. It had taken all his self-control to stay where he was and try to look enticing when Tohma walked in, but he had been so shocked at the way he had looked. Tohma was tired, more so than Shuichi could ever remember even Yuki looking.
When Tohma had fainted, Shuichi had been more than a little alarmed. He had rushed over, checked for blood and made sure he was breathing, then had sat beside him, running his fingers through Tohma's soft hair and just talking to him, about how much he had missed him, how sorry he was that he had left, how he had come back as soon as he found out the move was intended to be permanent. When he had seen Tohma's eyes start to flutter, he had just said his name, hoping to bring him around sooner. The anger and the bitterness had been something he hadn't been ready for. He had been prepared to confess his feelings, play 'Fate' for Tohma and apologize profusely. He had been prepared to have to vehemently defend his innocence at the transfer of Bad Luck to LA. He hadn't been prepared for a Tohma who hated him.
He looked up in surprise as the secretary's phone rang. She picked up, listened for a moment while glancing at him uncertainly, then hung up and told him Tohma was ready to see him. Shuichi took a deep breath as he started down the hallway to Tohma's office. He had carefully thought through what he wanted to say, what he had to be sure Tohma knew. He still held tight to the hope that Tohma would forgive him once he knew how Shuichi felt about him.
He knocked briefly on the door before opening it and stepping inside. Tohma stood behind his desk, looking out over the city, his back to Shuichi. Shuichi stepped up to the desk and bowed before taking the papers from their envelope and placing them on the desk.
Tohma turned and picked them up, glancing over them quickly before tossing them back on the desk. He turned to face Shuichi slowly and Shuichi almost lost what little nerve he had managed to hold onto while he was waiting and pacing.
"Why did you bring me these, Shindou-san?"
Shuichi visibly flinched at the formality in Tohma's voice. He swallowed nervously before he spoke.
"We want to come back to Japan. When we left, it was all Hiro and K. I didn't know- I didn't know it was supposed to be a transfer of our contract, I thought we were just going there to work on the one album."
"And this impacts me how?"
Shuichi slammed his hands down on the desk and leaned forward, feeling anger begin to bubble to the surface when Tohma gave no reaction at all. "I came back because of you! I wrote 'Fate' for you! Hiro was trying to protect me, but I don't need it! I love you, Tohma, and I won't let a contract get in the way!"
The only reaction Tohma showed to this speech was a slight rise of one eyebrow. He looked down at the papers on his desk, flipped to the signature page and quickly signed them, then shoved them across the desk to Shuichi. "Please keep such outbursts to a minimum Shindou-san. Your immaturity has been a constant issue, and apparently continues as such. Give these to my secretary on your way out, and tell K the rest of the band will be needed back ASAP. The CD release is only a month away, and Bad Luck has a lot of promoting to do."
Shuichi could only stand stunned as Tohma turned back to looking out the window.
"Was there something else, Shindou-san?"
"Didn't you hear me say I love you? Aren't you going to say anything?"
Tohma sighed and briefly rubbed the bridge of his nose. "As I said before, your immaturity has been a constant issue. I suggest you learn to tell the difference between fucking and making love before you get involved with anyone else."
Shuichi felt the tears starting to gather and wanted to say something, but looking at the tight back of the man in front of him, he began to wonder if perhaps he had seen things wrong. He picked up the papers and slowly walked out of the office, not looking back as he closed the door. He dropped the papers off with the secretary, and managed to keep his tears inside until he had made a quick call to K to tell him the news. He tried to sound perky and excited, but he had a feeling he had failed miserably. Finally leaving the NG building, he set off at a run, not caring where he was going or what or who might be in the way as he just ran, trying to run fast enough to get away from the pain threatening to rip him apart.
_________-------------------===========--------------------_________
As soon as the door closed, Tohma turned and hurried to the private bathroom connected to his office. He bent over the sink as what little he had managed to choke down that morning insisted on coming back up. He rinsed his mouth and stepped back out, unable to look at himself in the mirror. He couldn't stand what he had just done to Shuichi, couldn't stand the words he had forced himself to say. He stumbled across the office and lay down on one of the two couches, his eyes closed. He could hear Nakano's words again, 'if you want to keep him, you have to let him go.' Tohma was determined to keep Shuichi from harm, even if that meant hurting him now. Tohma only managed to bring pain to those he cared about. He had Eiri and his failed marriage with Mika as proof. The only reason Grasper survived was because he had never allowed his feelings for Ryuichi and Noriko to cross into love. NG survived because it was a business, and if it fell he would just build another. It was purely monetary in nature, no such feeling as love involved.
He lay still and was almost asleep when he heard the door to his office squeak open. He looked over, not having the energy or desire to get up. Ryuichi appeared, looking around for Tohma and crossing the room once he saw him, his face concerned and serious. Tohma slowly forced himself to sit up as he approached.
"Tohma, why were you laying down?"
Tohma smiled slightly, trying for a semblance of normalcy. " I didn't sleep last night. I'm just a little tired."
Ryuichi didn't look convinced, but let it slide as he asked his next question. "Did you know Shuichi is back?"
Tohma nodded, not trusting his voice.
"Have you seen him?"
He nodded again, this time hoping he could speak and not give anything away. "Yes, he asked me to sign the transfer for Bad Luck to return to Japan."
Ryuichi frowned. "Then why did he look so sad?"
Tohma managed to keep from breaking down by biting the inside of his lip. He had to remain strong. Shuichi would bounce back and be stronger for this. He had to be. To Ryuichi he merely shrugged.
In a lightning-fast change of mood, Ryuichi grinned and went to look for a box of Pocky he had only half-devoured and left in Tohma's desk. Tohma watched him as he tried to remember which drawer he had left the box in, finally getting up and retrieving it for him.
"Come on, Ryuichi, we have an album to finish."