Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Break Through ❯ Bird ( Chapter 21 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of the anime/manga mentioned within the story.

 

For mature readers only.

Yay! I found a beta. Thanks so much to Reyn for her great and speedy, speedy work

 

Thank you all for your input. I see a few of new faces (names, whatever) and some I haven't in a while. I appreciate each and every comment, and I look forward to them each time I update. I write for myself, but I do like to please the masses, so I listen to your props and complaints (if you will) as well.

 

I'm happy to see that most of you are happy with the pace of the story… you all know I like to complicate things… if you guys haven't noticed yet. I love angst!! And the more the better, I guess you could say I have a sappy heart that will not be satisfied until those two knuckle heads suffer. On this chapter however, I have a little surprise for you all… I hope this is enough to keep you guys off my back (for a little while at least^^)

 

I know I still have a lot of song titles left. But judging by the way I'm going, I think I'll run out before the story is done. I guess if that happens, I can always turn to my Gakuto (Gackt) or Laraku (L'Arc~en~Ciel) or Luna Sea, or Diru (Dir en Grey,) Or Kagrra… hell! Even Malice Mizer if need be for cool song titles. But let's just hope I get my act together before I have a chance to worry about this.

 

Kyaaa, Long A/N! I promise at the end I'll be brief (maybe not)

 

Best regards… Blue

 

 

Chapter Twenty: Bird

 

Shuichi let the warm water wash over his tired body to release the stress he was most definitely feeling. The day had proven to be a really fucked up one. Tatsuha's words had not left him all day; distracting him to the point where Seguchi had had to stop the recording a couple of times because he'd forgotten the lyrics to the song.

 

“I can help you get him you know…” Shuichi mimicked Tatsuha angrily, “What do you know bastard!? And who the fuck do you think I am?” the young singer spat, hitting the white tile with the palm of his hand. He could be many things, but he had his dignity. He held onto the cold slippery wall with both hands, and shut his eyes tightly, trying with all his might to take the blond bastard out of his mind. But hard as he tried, he kept seeing his face, as it was when he disregarded him in the lobby at the NG building that very same afternoon, and the way he had glared at him at the Karaoke bar when he found him with Tatsuha a few nights back.

 

Every single memory Shuichi had of the handsome god showed him exactly how little he cared for him. And yet, Shuichi would give anything to be in his arms once again.

 

He shook his head as an image from the one night they spent together making love, came so vividly to invade his senses, and threatened to weaken his resolve to forget Yuki Eiri ever existed.

 

“Leave me alone!” Shuichi begged, already breathing hard, as Yuki caressed his most intimate parts in his mind's eye, “ …leave me alone,” he begged again with very little conviction. He threw his head back, and opening his eyes, he focused on a water spot on the ceiling. Looking at it as if it held all the answerers he seeked. Anything to take his mind from the bastard that was slowly taking away his ability to live.

 

“What the hell is wrong with me?!” He asked himself, running a hand through his wet locks, still holding onto the tiled wall with the other, as if it would collapse on him and crush him. His heart began beating faster and his eyes were stinging as he fought the tears hiding behind them.

 

“No! I can't go on like this! I swore I would forget you.” He reminded himself of his oath. But the deep hazel eyes would not stop haunting him.

 

Shuichi tried to deviate his thoughts to the upcoming release of Gravity and Grasper's Greatest Hits. On all the awesome plans Seguchi had in store for them. This was his time to shine, the moment he had been born for. He should be enjoying every minute of it, instead, here he was thinking about a bastard who didn't even give a flying fuck about his feelings. Who didn't deserve to have a space in his heart.

 

The harder he fought it, the faster the erotic images poured in. Yuki kissing him, Yuki caressing him, devouring him…loving him. Soon the images became too much, and Yuki's face transformed from the spiteful, full of disgust stare he gave him at NG that afternoon to the pleasure filled one from that magical night they spent together.

 

Shuichi could hear the moans that had escaped his love, could feel his hot breath on his face. The singer screamed and held his head tightly, shaking it until it throbbed.

 

“Don't…do this to me!” He begged himself. He could hardly breathe, and even though he was under the warm stream, he knew he was sweating. He leaned his back against the tile, closing his eyes tightly; His thoughts still on that night of passion that will never repeat itself.

 

“Why can't I get you out of my mind…my heart? You're a heartless jerk who doesn't care about anyone but yourself. So why do I love you so much?” The tears that he had fought to keep within himself made their way down his face freely, mingling with the streaming water. Shuichi's hand came to shield his eyes as in shame someone would see him like this. He was ashamed of how stupid and weak he was.

 

He didn't even fight the images anymore, he began welcomed them instead. Slowly, the hand that covered his eyes traveled down the path it knew all too well. What did it matter that he wanted to hate him and give up on him, if when it all was said and done his weakness won over all reason? His hand found his center, and a hot flash of pleasure gripped him as he held his hard sex and stroked it slowly. More images of Yuki made their way into his mind, and soon, Shuichi's moans filled everything. He buckled his hips as he struggled to reach the pinnacle of his shame, that little glimpse of heaven that always left him yearning for more. He stroked faster and faster, and called the name of the one who had turned him away over and over.

 

“Yuki… oh Yuki... god.” The erotic images stopped, and the disgusted face he had giving him that very afternoon came back to remind him how petty his feeling were. But he didn't care, it was far too late, he was far too gone in the sweet pressure building inside him to feel saddened. His moans increased in volume, and his hand stroked faster. He slid himself to sit on the cold floor; legs spread wide open, head shaking from side to side, eyes shut tightly. His other hand found its way to the portal he had given but to one person alone. Shuichi arched his back as two digits entered his tight opening.

 

“Ah…” Shuichi cried, stroking himself violently, as his fingers caressed his insides deliciously and the water stroked his body like a thousand feathers. The pain he felt was nothing compared to that time, but it was almost as good. “I hate you…” he whispered, and the room went round and round as empty pleasure gave way to an emptier orgasm that was over all too quickly. He withdrew his fingers and drew in his knees, holding them together with his arms. Resting his forehead down upon the appendages, he cried. For himself, for Yuki, and for everything that he was holding inside.

 

“I hate you…” he repeated between bitter sobs, even though deep down he knew it was a lie. He could never hate him, and that made him hate himself. Weakly he lifted a hand and shut off the warm stream, making the water icy cold.

 

“I should have fucking done this in the first place!” he admonished, trembling as the cold water hit his skin. Then hung his head and cried once again until there were no more tears left.

 

XXX

 

Tatsuha took in his surroundings in quiet awe. His face remained the same impassive, cool façade, while his heart was beating so fast it was getting hard to breathe. He could not believe that he was standing in Sakuma Ryuichi's place! The singer had left him alone in the living room to go and change into something more `comfortable.'

 

He walked around the huge and very tastefully decorated penthouse apartment. The style was very contemporary. Black, white and chrome dominated the decor, giving the visual impression of a much bigger place still. It was very unlike its resident's personality; for some odd reason Tatsuha had imagined Ryu's place to be much warmer and colorful sparkly, just like he was.

 

The far wall was lined with the band's platinum discs and other awards, while the other walls were lined with various pictures. The young monk went to them eagerly and inspected each of them reverently. All of them were from his Grasper days. Younger versions of Tohma and Noriko were in many of them, as well as K-san, and many other people he didn't know. There were lots of live pictures, and pictures with other celebrities they might have worked with, as well as a lot of shots with show hosts and such. These—Tatsuha noted-- were all portraits of Ryuichi's professional life. Tatsuha smiled warmly as he noticed Kumagoro present in many of the elegantly framed shots.

 

“You want something to drink?” Ryuichi asked startling him. The monk turned to him and had to hold in a gasp as he saw that his idol wore nothing but a small pair of denim shorts.

 

“You got beer?” Tatsuha asked slyly, hiding his awe behind a cool grin.

 

“You're not old enough to drink, don't think I don't know how old you are.” Ryu smirked slyly as well.

 

“I'm not old enough to have sex either… and yet here I am.” Tatsuha replied mischievously, coming closer to the older, yet shorter man.

 

“Who said anything about doing it?” Ryuichi's expression was equally mischievous, “You think I'd go to jail for a stupid thing like that?” Tatsuha was now standing directly in front of the older singer. His smirk grew wider as he saw the clearly pronounced bulge through the tiny pants.

 

“You say that…but…” The monk let his hand caress over the tight denim. Making its way to unbutton the shorts and free his prize.

 

“I'll get your beer.” Ryuichi chanted and sauntered away before Tatsuha could accomplish his task. The teen was almost shaking, the memories from the night before came flooding back, doing nothing to calm the fires within him.

 

He looked around once again, trying to find anything to take his mind off the erotic things he wanted to put his idol through. Tonight, Tatsuha was determined to maintain some semblance of control.

 

He spied to the far end of the room, the entrance to another section of the enormous apartment. Without thinking, he made his way to it, and was surprised to find a very spacious room, decorated very unlike the one he'd just come from. Aside from a couple of warm color couches, a big, mahogany coffee table, and a piano, the room was almost bare. Tatsuha found a light switch and the room came alive. This room looked a lot cozier than the other one, complete with a fireplace and all. It was rectangular in shape, with great floor to ceiling windows overlooking downtown Tokyo on the opposite side. The fireplace was on one side, and a wall lined with more pictures was on the other. He walked to them expecting to find more Grasper shots, but instead, the monk noted these were personal pictures with people—Tatsuha had to assume— who were his family and friends.

 

He looked at each picture carefully, drinking them in as if his love's life was being narrated through them. There were many with Tohma, in a park, at a club with a group of people with them, at a party, some wearing swimsuits, some with heavy coats and scarves… they looked so young and happy. There were also several shots with Ryuichi posing with a beautiful young girl. Tatsuha felt a bit of jealousy looking at the two together. She seemed so innocent and care free, that one might say they looked alike. There were a few shots of them with an older couple who were more than likely Ryu's parents, and some of them had Ryu alone with another young boy.

These photos ranged from them as little boys, to all the way through High School and college. Tatsuha felt such a rush of love for the vision of Ryuichi as a child. He looked exactly the same, only shorter, and with that cuteness only children possess.

He saw the boy in some pictures from Ryu's Grasper days even, could see all the changing seasons through the shots; their changing styles, hairdos. He was truly jealous now.

 

“Who are you?” The monk whispered, running a digit over the smiling, unknown face.

 

“That's my ex.” Ryuichi's voice interrupted, making the monk almost jump out of his skin… again.

 

“Oh,” was the only thing Tatsuha could utter after that admission from his god.

 

“Here's your beer.” The singer held out the icy can. Tatsuha walked away from the wall nervously, and took it. He wanted to ask him so many things, but Ryuichi's playful demeanor seemed to suddenly disappear. The singer walked out of the room as soon as Tatsuha took the can from him. The monk followed, smacking himself inwardly for being such a moron.

 

Ryuichi sat on the couch, opened his beer and took a big gulp from it. Tatsuha did the same, and the two remained silent for what it seemed like hours.

 

Tatsuha wished he could turn back time and never wandered into Ryuichi's personal sanctuary, but being the stupid ass that he was, he had to go and ruin everything. He played with the cold droplets as they slid down the cold can, looking for something to say that could possibly redeem his dumb self.

 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you,” He opted for the logical thing to say.

 

“I'm not upset,” Ryu replied absently. He seemed to be in another world, as if deep in thought or… reminiscing.

 

Great Tatsuha no baka! The monk thought as he watched Ryuichi lost in his memories. You made him think about his ex lover…way to go. “I should have asked before barging in like that.”

 

“Yeah…you should have.” Ryu agreed as absently as before.

 

“Sorry.” Tatsuha murmured again, not knowing what else to say.

 

“Is fine, I said I'm not upset.” Ryuichi set his beer down on a side table and stretched languidly, like a cat. He crawled to Tatsuha and straddled him. The teen took a deep breath and closed his eyes to calm himself, but the scent of Ryuichi invaded his senses, taking away his ability to think.

 

“Let's not waste anymore time.” Ryu whispered, blowing warm air over Tatsuha face, then ran his tongue over the monk's half parted lips. Tatsuha shot his eyes open, and was met by an empty smile he didn't recognized to be Ryuichi's. “Let's get to the point.” The singer uttered and began kissing his way down the monk's neck. Tatsuha threw his head back to allow him more access. He was in heaven, and yet, he felt that things somehow had changed from when he first came into Ryuichi's place.

 

He could feel the emptiness in his love's kisses, in his cold embrace. Gently, but firmly, Tatsuha put his hands on Ryuichi's shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze to call his attention. As expected, the singer stopped his descent, and shifted his green eyes to meet Tatsuha's onyx ones.

 

The monk almost whimpered at the sight of them. They had a glassy gleam to them. A gleam he himself wore when he slept with the random men and women he allowed to get close to him when he thought loneliness would get too overwhelming to bear. It broke his heart to know that he didn't mean a thing to the man he would give his life for. That to Ryuichi it didn't matter who it was as long as he didn't have to spend the night alone… just like himself, before he came to Tokyo.

 

“We don't have to do anything if you don't to.” Tatsuha let out softly.

 

“Is ok, didn't you come to have sex?” Ryu smiled that empty smile again, and resumed his descent down the teen's neck. With all his might, Tatsuha held his face and moved it to meet his.

 

“No, that isn't the only thing I came for. I came to be with you, and by that, I mean doing anything you want. Whether it's just to talk, sit around, or watch TV, then that's exactly what we'll do.” Ryuichi seemed unprepared for such selfless words. He looked at Tatsuha confusedly, not knowing what to do or say. Then slowly, he crawled to the other end of the couch.

 

They sat in silence for a long time. Ryuichi was sitting back, with his head on the back of the couch staring at the ceiling; and Tatsuha was cursing himself for blowing it again. Deriding himself for daring to think that Ryuichi might have wanted anything from him other than sex.

 

“Do you know why Nittle Grasper disbanded?” Ryuichi asked suddenly. His voice was nothing like the bubbly chant Tatsuha loved so much. The monk shook his head slowly, wishing he could take back the stupid words that made Ryu feel like this.

“At the time I was really depressed.” Ryu smiled bitterly, all sparks from his face gone. Tatsuha swallowed hard and waited for him to continue. “We had worked so hard to get where we were, our albums were selling so well. We were on top of the world, from tours, to TV shows, photo shoots, fans throwing themselves at us. I thought I didn't care about any of those things, but I was having such a great time, that I pushed everyone around me aside.” Ryuichi looked towards the room where the pictures from his past were.

 

“We were together since elementary. Always the three of us-- my sister Aiko, Yoshiki and me.” Tatsuha had no idea Ryu had a sister. In fact he didn't know much about it him other than he had the voice of angels and a face and body to match. Ryuichi never talked about his personal life in interviews. He gave everyone the impression that Grasper was his life.

 

Tatsuha had always wanted to know all about him, and Tohma, the only one who could tell him anything, always told him that it was not his place to talk about it every time he asked. Hearing this now, however, didn't feel half as great as he thought it would. The way Ryuichi looked, so sad and lonely, made the teen feel helpless. “During our senior year in High School Yoshiki and I became lovers. The first one I told was Aiko, she was so happy for us. She gave us our space and all. Then I told my parents, and even though they were not as ecstatic, they supported me… they always do.” Ryuichi took a deep breath, then slowly took his beer and held it to the light, and stared at it.

 

“Then Grasper took off, and I didn't have time for him anymore. We spent less and less time together. I quit college so that I could dedicate myself to the band, and he continued. His dream was to become a writer. After I left we hardly saw each other, and the few times we met, all we did was have sex. We had nothing in common anymore, nothing to talk about other than Aiko, and how she was doing.” Ryu sighed again, “But I loved him…” He felt silent again; it was as if the memories were physically hurting him.

 

“You don't have to talk about…” Tatsuha implored, hating to see him hurt.

 

“No! I want to, you said we could talk.” Ryuichi shifted his eyes to Tatsuha imploringly.

 

“Of course.” The teen whispered moving closer to him.

 

“One day Yoshi came to see me. It was during the `Sleepless' tour. As soon as I saw him I knew something was wrong. After that night's concert we went to my hotel room, and he told me it was over. He said that he loved me, that he always would, but we lived in different worlds. He said he had found somebody else and I should do the same. I knew everything he said was true, but I didn't want to give him up… it just hurt too much.” Tatsuha scooted the rest of the way and held the older man tightly in his arms. “He said we'd always be friends…” Ryuichi whispered and fell silent.

 

Suddenly he understood everything. Ryuichi's immaturity was all an act. It was the only thing he could do in his denial. They were the same, Tatsuha thought bitterly. He pretended to be strong and cold, but in truth, he needed love and attention so desperately that he willingly gave himself to whoever wanted him.

 

Tears clouded his vision. They were the same; Ryuichi and he were the same. Tatsuha swore to himself that no matter what happened, or how much into Shuichi, Ryu was, he would not abandon him as Yoshiki did.

 

Ryuichi sighed deeply, making Tatsuha aware that he'd fallen asleep. An overwhelming love filled the teen's usually empty heart. He held his love tight and kissed the top of his head tenderly. Carefully sliding into a comfortable position on the oversized couch, with the warm body of Ryuichi on top him, Tatsuha closed his eyes and he too let the dreams come.

 

 

XXX

 

 

Yuki woke up with a start as a loud noise made its way to his ears. He sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes and trying to adjust his vision to the dark room. The cool air chilled his skin making him sneeze. Again the noise intruded his senses, this time fully awake and aware of himself, Yuki realized that it was actually a loud moan coming from somewhere in the apartment. Shocked--and curious-- he immediately made his way into the living room, only to find it empty. More long moans could be heard, each of them sounded as the person eliciting them was reaching to some climatic point.

 

“Tohma?” Yuki called already beginning to pant from anticipation, he ran to his bedroom, fully expecting to find his old lover in there. He opened the door, stopping dead in his tracks as he was confronted by the sight of Shuichi naked on his bed pleasuring himself. His lean body was covered by a thin layer of sweat that made it look almost glossy. And his white skin seemed luminescent against the moonlight filtering through the window. Yuki gulped loudly, he was too stunned to move or do much else.

 

When did he… and how? Yuki began to wonder, when more moans that grew louder and more intense, interrupted his train of thought.

 

“Ah God…” Shuichi's head turned his way. His eyes were shut tightly, his chest heaving as each breath left him, his back arching, his legs spread wide open, and his hips buckled frantically against an invisible lover. “God…Yuki…” As he breathed the words, two of his fingers found their way to his mouth. The beautiful boy sucked them desperately, while his other hand worked over his sex so fast that it almost seemed inhuman, “Ooh… almost there…oh God.” Shuichi rasped. Yuki could take no more of it, he forced his muscles to obey the commands his brain gave them, and moved towards the man he's been obsessing over, tearing his clothes to shreds along the way. He didn't care how or why anymore. All that mattered was that Shuichi was here and he was gong to have him. He took Shuichi's hand away from his sex, and covered it with his mouth, sucking it violently… how he wanted this… how he needed it.

 

Shuichi gasped and got on his elbows, ready to attack the predator who dared touch him, but as soon as he saw the blonde head bobbing up and down over his over-stimulated skin, his eyes filled with tears.

 

“Yuki…” he whispered lowly, “You came, you came to me.” Yuki shifted his deep honey eyes to the lavender ones for only a second, but a second long enough to show him the desire written within them. Yuki forcefully pushed the younger man to lay on his back, and he began to kiss and suck his way to Shuichi's lips, leaving no inch of skin unexplored, and covered them with his own.

 

They kissed as if their very lives depended on it. Yuki, caressing Shuichi's face and threading his fingers through his silky hair with one hand, and spreading his legs apart with the other. And Shuichi, trembling unable to make his limbs move.

 

“Don't be scared…” Yuki breathed against his lips, and brought up two fingers to them, which Shuichi sucked as he had his own.

 

“I'm not scared… I'm happy.” The singer smiled as he ran his tongue over Yuki's digits. The mangaka took them away and replace them with his lips. Shuichi's back arched as the wet digits penetrated deep within him. His body shook from head to toe, welcoming the overwhelmingly pleasurable invasion. He ran his hands over Yuki's back, baring his nail and scratching him frantically as the mangaka caressed his insides and sucked at his tongue in perfect rhythm.

“Oh god Yuki.” Shuichi choked breaking their infatuated kiss. “I can't believe you're here… that you came to me. Yuki kissed the boys' face, neck, and collarbone, then back again to take an earlobe into his mouth and suck at it.

 

“It took me too goddamned long.” Yuki breathed more to himself than anything. Suddenly Shuichi brought his palms to Yuki's chest, and pushed him off, making him fall from the bed. His eyes opened wide in shock. “What the hell?” he whispered. Shuichi stood on the bed, his skin gave a fluorescent glow that made him look almost holy. Then horror filled the mangaka as two black wings sprung from Shuichi's back and spread ominously almost as wide as the room itself.

 

“You left me; you used me and disposed of me as if I were but a toy. You took the only thing that was mine alone to give; you took your pleasure from it and broke my heart caring naught for my feelings… Now is my turn, now you will suffer as I did.” And with these words, Shuichi came down and flipping Yuki over on all fours buried himself deep within. Tearing and burning as he entered his being.

“Does it hurt? Does it burn?” Shuichi hissed into his ear. Yuki's mouth opened agape, but no sounds came out. He wanted to beg this merciless angel to fuck him senseless, to make him feel pleasure and pain like he's never had, but he knew he didn't have the right. He was at the mercy of this black angel of desire, and he would take anything he had in store for him.

 

Shuichi began moving slowly, he pulled almost all the way out. Only to ram himself forcefully back in. He did this a few times, eliciting cries from the one below.

 

“Yes, yes, yes…” Yuki, breathed out, as every cell in his body tingled with pleasure.

 

“Oh, you like it don't you?” Shuichi let out sarcastically, thrusting into Yuki's body even more violently. He pulled the bruised mangaka up by the hair and made him rest his back against his chest while still thrusting hard. “That's fine, enjoy it all you want, just know that when it's over, my loneliness will seem like nothing compared to yours.”

 

Yuki heard the words, but they really didn't seem important now. He shook his head from side to side as he rode the waves of pleasure, wishing it was never over. He was not used to these exhilarating sensations, and he realized now how much he craved for them, needed them. Shuichi sucked at Yuki's lobe, breathing in choked gasps that were driving Yuki wild. Shuichi's hands held his hips as he thrust in and out fast. Then one of those hands moved to take hold of Yuki's neglected hard shaft and ran its length with maddening slow strokes. That was all it took to make Yuki loose all composure, he threw his head back against Shuichi's shoulder, and let out a long, strangled moan that sounded like a cry for help.

 

“Does it feel good?” Shuichi asked in a mocking sneer. Yuki nodded his head not able to draw words. “You like it so much that you could die?” Again Yuki nodded wishing this sweet pain would never stop. “Do you want to come? Yuki opened his mouth to say yes, but no sounds came, instead his shaky hands reached back to grab a hold of Shuichi's hips to move them even faster. “If you ask me nice, I might let you.” The black angel spat mockingly.

 

“Please… let me.” Yuki choked. Shuichi's cold hand took his hard, ready to explode organ and pumped a couple of times, just enough to give him a taste of heaven, but not enough to reach it. Then, Yuki felt a rush of air, and his body left the ground. He looked to one side and saw black wings spread open majestically as they were lifted into the air…

 

Yuki awoke with a start, darkness surrounded him, and sweat drops slid down his face in rivulets. He was alone, there was no merciless angel whispering cruelly in his hear, no sweet pain, no black wings lifting him in the air. Realizing it had been nothing but a dream, the mangaka began laughing ironically at the idiocy of it all. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” he muttered aloud looking down to see his hand around his engorged sex. He'd been so close to release, he could actually taste it, his skin still tingled from the vivid images…

 

“Serves me fucking right!” Yuki let out, throwing his head back. He closed his eyes and invoked the images of his dream, what did it matter to hide it anymore? He brought two fingers to his mouth and sucked them just like Shuichi had, stroking himself in perfect sync.

 

“Oh little boy… what are you doing to me?” Yuki breathed arching his back as a violent orgasm shook him to the core. His semen shot out in an arc and landed onto his stomach and chest. Heaving until the last vestiges of his orgasm left him, he realized that the angel in his dream had been right. The loneliness and frustration he felt scared him.

 

XXX

 

Shuichi lay in bed staring at his treasure. He had had half the mind to get rid of the autographed picture of Yuki, but in the end, he knew he could not. He stared at the hard eyes that had plagued him for so long, wondering why he couldn't hate the man.

 

“I should sell you on Ebay.” he spoke to the portrait, and put it back in its place in the top drawer of his bedside table. He stared at the ceiling knowing that sleep would not come easy.

 

He heard moans, and rolled his eyes in annoyance… and jealously at the two in the next room. Can't you jerks go to a hotel? He rolled his eyes again, there's no fucking respect around here! Putting a pillow over his head he tried to shut them out, no such luck, then he turned on his stomach and tightened the pillow over his head, almost to the point of cutting off his air supply. No matter, he knew they were there and knew exactly what they were doing. Jealousy stabbed at him again, Hiro you're so fucking lucky! He thought, you get to fuck Seguchi, while I'm here… alone and thinking about `king of the assholes' on top of that.

 

Shu tossed and turned looking for a comfortable position to try and get some much needed sleep. Then a loud moan-that was unmistakably Hiro's- came, followed by softer-but still audible- one. Shuichi sat up, picked his alarm clock from the side table, turned around, and banged the wall forcefully.

 

“Hiro you jerk! Do you mind, I'm trying to get some sleep here!!” He heard laughter, and cursed the day he had the great idea to shack up in the room next to his best friend's.

 

“Sorry man!” came Hiro's the half laughing reply.

 

“Jerk!” Shu snapped softly to himself, “Tomorrow I'm definitely moving across the hall.”

 

 

XXX

 

After his pathetically weak resolve was broken, Yuki thought about his relationship with Shuichi-if it could be called that- for a long time. There was no point in denying he still had strong feelings for him. The dream had been a solid proof that he was constantly on his mind. What he felt for the kid was alien to him, not even Tohma, who he had thought he loved more than anything, came close to what he felt every time he thought about the young singer. It was a different sort of love altogether. When and why he had fallen so deep, not knowing anything about he kid, couldn't be explained, but the fact was there and he could do nothing about it. Yuki also knew that he was scared of the feelings Shuichi invoked in him. He thought of the time when he had loved freely, and had gotten hurt to the point of almost killing himself. He didn't want to go through that again. True, Shuichi's comment, back when he was a kid, plus Tohma's persuasions made him change his mind, but that was just it. He could not be with someone who had that kind of control over him. Yuki liked to be in full control, and he was nothing but, as far as Shuichi was concerned.

 

Also the fact that he was younger both in age and mind. Although the age gap was exactly the same as Tohma and himself, they were still too different. In short, there was nothing in common they shared, other than the overwhelming physical attraction, but, judging by the way Shuichi carried himself around Sakuma Ryuichi and his own brother, Yuki was not entirely sure they even shared that.

 

“What am I going to do?” The mangaka whispered to the dark. He dressed slowly, deciding to do the same thing he always did when he was scared.

 

X

 

Mikka could not sleep at all. She had tried to call Eiri, but as usual he didn't call back. Mika's words were haunting her… what if it was true? What if Eiri was infatuated with Bad Luck's lead singer? As ridiculous as it sounded, there were clear signs that her fiancé was not totally indifferent toward the kid.

 

She looked at her watch, it read almost two in the morning. She had to go to bed; there were a ton of things she had to do before the release of her album, from interviews, to TV and radio appearances. She knew Tohma would do nothing to promote Grasper, and that gave her little over a week to get ahead of the game. Bad Luck was not even a challenge, judging by the one song they had out, she knew they were no match. She put her journal aside, and headed to her room. She heard the sound of keys, and her heart began beating a little faster.

 

Yuki came in and stood at the doorway looking at her. “Eiri!” She gasped, sounding surprised, obviously not expecting him. He wished there was another way to deal with his doubts, but right now he didn't want to be alone, and being with her was better than to be alone while obsessing over a certain singer.

 

“Hey,” he greeted feigning warmth, setting his keys down on the antique table by the door.

 

“Rough day?” Mikka asked coming out of her shock, as she sauntered to him, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him on the lips.

 

“Yeah,” Yuki blurted, bringing his hands to her wrists and removing her arms from around himself so he could walk into the spacious place. He went into the kitchen and got a can of beer from the fridge. Mikka followed him in silence and stood by the doorway watching him. “What's wrong?” Yuki asked.

 

“Nothing, It's just that is a bit strange of you to remember you have you home.” She said. There was no reproach in her voice whatsoever; she was merely stating a fact known to them both.

 

“Yeah well, consider it my once a month visit.” Yuki replied, a bit annoyed. It never failed to happen, he came to her because he felt lonely, but as soon as he heard her voice he wanted nothing more than to leave.

 

“What's the matter with you?” Mikka asked following him inside. Yuki set his beer down and took off his jacket, throwing it carelessly on a chair.

 

“Nothing's the matter,” he replied, fighting an overwhelming desire to leave, and yet, he didn't want to be alone. Instead he pushed the feelings aside and made his way to her. He put his arms around her waist, and kissed her forehead. “I'm just tired.”

 

Mikka's arms came around Eiri on their own, and held him tightly. He seemed so helpless, so vulnerable. All the rage she felt vanished and there was only the overwhelming love she felt for him.

 

“You live here you know. You can come around more than once a month,” she joked, letting him go and kissing him on the lips. Eiri smirked, and carried her to the sofa. She threw her head back sighing deeply - all her worries and fears gone for the moment.

 

“I guess so…” Eiri whispered, throwing himself on the couch with her on top of him. Blinking confused, she began laughing like a child, realizing he was answering to her joke- something he very rarely did.

 

“We should do something together. My new album comes out in a week and after that I'll be too busy, even for you… ne what do you say?”

 

 

Yuki looked at her as if she had proposed the unthinkable. It would do him good to get away, but then again, but that would mean spending more time that he was willing to give, even to her. He turned the other way contemplating whether or not he should. His dream came to mind. He made up his mind.

 

“Go where?” Yuki asked.

 

“I don't know, anywhere. To France! Ooh Eiri, we haven't been to France in such a long time.” Her heart was beating so fast at the prospect of going away with Eiri. “It will only be a few days, c'mon Eiri, if you do this I promise I'll leave you alone for a whole year!” She rushed excitedly.

 

“A whole year, huh?” Eiri stroked his chin weighing the offer

 

“Eiri!” she hit him on the arm, “You're the worst!” Mika's words from days before, words that had taken her ability to sleep were totally out of her mind now. She berated herself now for ever giving them any thought.

 

“To France? You don't go to such a place with only a couple of days to spare. Let's just go somewhere here in Japan, about Noboribetsu hot springs, in Hokkaido?” He suggested. Mikka's heart was about ready to blow, she felt dizzy from the excitement. “Besides, I just came back to the company full time again; I don't want to go so far this soon,” Eiri added.

 

“I don't care; anywhere is fine, as long as we're alone together it will be fine.”

 

“Alright, I guess I can use a good soak.” Mikka squealed in delight and kissed her man deeply.

 

“I love you.” She showered him with kisses.Yuki sighed exhaustedly, closing his eyes, and hoping this trip would help him clear his mind, rekindle his relationship with Mikka and above all, take Shuichi out of his mind for good.

 

XXX

 

Tatsuha woke up to a sweet pleasure building up inside of him. He lifted his head groggily to see Ryuichi's head bobbing up and down as the beautiful singer worshipped his fully awakened sex. He watched the erotic sight with glassy eyes. Aside from the physical pleasure, he could not remember ever being this happy. The teen brought his hands to hold Ryuichi's head, threading his long fingers through Ryu's soft brown mane. Ryuichi shifted his eyes to meet Tatsuha's and began running his tongue seductively over the tip of the monk's engorged shaft.

 

Tatsuha let out a long, loud moan, thinking that he must have died and gone to heaven. Nothing could begin to compare to the pleasure he felt, there were simply no words for it.

 

“Horny little boy,” Ryuichi husked, blowing cold air on the hard member. “I woke up this morning, and I found this…” Ryuichi pumped the over stimulated sex a few times, “begging me for attention. Little boys these days are so energetic.” The singer smirked, none of his playful demeanor present, only his other side, a side that few ever saw.

 

“Little boy, little boy… you keep calling me that,” Tatsuha husked as well and sat up, grabbing Ryuichi's head, bringing it to his, and kissing him roughly. “And yet you treat me like a man.”

 

“Ah, a man you say, I guess I can treat you like one if you want me too.” And no sooner was this said that Tatsuha was pushed forcefully back down. Ryuichi began devouring the teen; he kissed him with such bruising force the monk could barely breathe. The singer made his way down Tatsuha's body in the very same way, sucking his skin, biting his nipples, grazing his teeth over the young skin, flicking his tongue over his navel and then back up to kiss him roughly.

 

The over stimulated teen couldn't even moan. He responded to the kiss in full, and with a shaky hand, found the object of his desires and stroked it clumsily.

 

“You need some practice,” Ryu murmured flicking his tongue with Tatsuha's.

 

“Are you… gonna… let me practice?” Tatsuha breathed, stroking faster.

 

“Until you get good,” Ryu breathed back, rolling his eyes to the back of his head and sighing deeply.

 

“I can't be that bad,” the teen whispered a little more confidently, mesmerized by the expression of pure ecstasy on his love's face.

 

“No, you're not, but there's always room for improvement,” Ryuichi asserted, going back to his previous task, this time sucking fast - eager for Tatsuha to reach his peak.

He didn't have to work to hard at it. As the increasing pressure built inside his body, Tatsuha found himself loosing all composure. The monk moaned loudly, almost to the point of growling, his eyes fixed on the display below. He wanted to prolong this moment forever, but he was barely able to breathe at this point. He held Ryuichi's head and made it move faster, bucking his hips in time with the bobbing head.

 

“Oh don't stop…” Tatsuha choked, ready to pass out, as Ryuichi sucked harder and faster still. “Oh god,” Tatsuha moaned loudly as a white flash passed before his eyes and an indescribable pleasure took over everything. His body shook uncontrollably and he though he would die.

 

“Hey!” Ryuichi took Tatsuha's quivering lips with his own; he could taste himself in them. The monk kissed back with everything he had. “Next time you're gonna shot, let me know,” Ryu laughed. “Cum isn't my breakfast of choice.” Tatsuha laughed coolly as well, trying to gain back some semblance of self control.

 

“What are you talking about?” He asked playfully. “Semen is a nutritious part of a complete breakfast.” Ryuichi threw his head back I laughter.

 

“Oh, so that's why I'm so short!” he said matter of fact.

 

“You're too much Ryu-kun!” Tatsuha laughed and kissed Ryuichi tenderly, then another wave of pleasure overtook him, as his still hard sex was engulfed by a tightening heat as Ryuichi sat on him. Tatsuha's heart stopped, his breath stopped, everything came to a halt, and time stood still and there was nothing but the feeling of Ryuichi's insides.

 

“You're so big…” The singer whispered as he descended slowly on him, and began moving, his face contorted in a mask of pure joy. Tatsuha couldn't even think straight, let alone show any kind of gratitude for the compliment.

 

The monk's hands moved in their own accord to caressed Ryuichi's chest, stomach, arms and everywhere they could reach. In fact, Tatsuha had no control of his body; it was as if his mind and body were two separate entities. The one acting on instinct alone, while the other was too overwhelmed to even think… but the pleasure… oh, he could not get enough of it.

 

Ryuichi seemed to react kindly to the stimulation and began moving a bit faster. Tatsuha's hands went from caressing his god's soft skin, to tweak Ryu's pink nipples. To this the singer threw his head back and opened his mouth, letting out a throaty moan. Tatsuha took it as an invitation to become bolder. One of his hands traveled the path down to Ryu's neglected sex and attempted to stroke it the way Ryuichi had done him, but was halted by the older man's green eyes snapping to his own.

 

“Don't touch it!” he snapped. Tatsuha was a bit taken aback, but obeyed, reassuming his caresses to Ryuichi's body. Finally his hands found their way to Ryuichi's slender hips and held them, unconsciously moving them up and down and driving himself deeper within.

 

“Ahhh,” Ryuichi's eyes rolled back, and he began biting his own lower lip - a sight so erotic that it almost brought Tatsuha over the edge again. He pushed the need to down, he was determined to hold out for a long time, he would not disappoint Ryuichi anymore that he already had.

 

“Stop looking so sexy or I'm gonna cum,” Tatsuha choked, watching his lover's intoxicating expression.

 

“If you do before me, I'll kill you.” Ryu choked back dead serious. Tatsuha sat as best as he could, bringing Ryuichi with him, without leaving his love's tight embrace. The monk began kissing his way down Ryuichi's neck, collarbone, and shoulders. He pushed him back a little so that he could run his tongue over the hard nipples, which immediately caused a rather loud reaction with the singer.

 

“Oh, so that's your weak point.” Tatsuha smirked and sucked at them hard, making Ryuichi scream in ecstasy. The singer moved faster, aided by Tatsuha's hands.

 

“Tatsu…” Ryu cried once and moved so fast that Tatsuha didn't even see his own orgasm coming to claim him; he shut his eyes and rode the waves of pleasure that seemed too much for him to take. Ryuichi's lips descended on his own and the two kissed hard, devouring each other as if it were the last thing they'll ever do.

In the back of Tatsuha's mind was the disappointment that he failed the love of his life again, but as his body still tingled and trembled from going to heaven, he felt hot liquid splashing on him and a series of loud moans that were music to his ears. He opened his eyes as the same time as Ryuichi's lips parted his, and the older man fell limp on his chest. “Damn I'm messy.” Ryu sighed contently.

 

 

“Hey, if you gonna shoot let me know.” Tatsuha joked contently after his pulse returned to a normal rate. “Cum isn't my moisturizer of choice.”

 

Ryu sighed and kissed his chest tenderly, “What are you talking about; semen will keep you young forever.” Tatsuha laughed and kissed the top of his head.

 

“I thought you said you've never been bottom.”

 

“Eh, did I say that? You should know better than to believe a drunkard.” The two stayed in silence for a long time.

 

“Yoshiki married my sister,” Ryuichi murmured after a while. Tatsuha didn't understand at first, but then remember the night's before tale. “I never finished telling you my story,” the singer continued lowly.

 

“Bastard…” Tatsuha breathed disgustedly wanting very much to kill the man.

 

“I'm cool with it. I don't think I would have wanted anyone else to replace me.”

 

“Ryuichi.” Tatsuha was at a loss for words.

 

“They have a little boy,” Ryu continued. “When I found out Aiko was pregnant I got really depressed. At that time Tohma had found out that Mika-chan had faked her pregnancy so he would marry her, and Noriko was so huge that she could not work anymore. I didn't want to bother them with my petty problems.” Tatsuha caressed Ryu's head tenderly as he listened to his tale. Who would have thought that the happy go lucky pop god had gone through so much? “But then our problems got the better of us and it started showing in our work, so we decided to call it quits.”

 

“I don't know what to say,” Tatsuha whispered, he for one had no idea Mika had never been pregnant. He remembered the big fuss his parent made when she `lost' the baby. He wondered mildly if Eiri knew.

 

“You don't have to say anything, thank you for listening to my sap.”

 

“Any time, but if I ever meet that bastard I'm going to kick his ass!”

 

“Yeah, you give him a hard one for me.” The singer smiled jumping to his feet, and Tatsuha whimpered over the loss of his heat. “I know let's call Shu! I wonder what's he doing today.” Tatsuha smiled determined not to show Ryuichi how much it that comment bothered him.

 

“Let's take a shower first, then have some breakfast… then call him, Ok?” the monk suggested, wanting to prolong his time with Ryu as much as possible.

 

“OK!” Ryuichi smiled giving him the thumbs up.

 

XXX

 

A/N: I bet you all though that Yuki was gonna screw Mikka? I got you all. eheheh! Well I'd say Yuki has some serious issues ne? And the two of them masturbating at the same time is kind of scary; do they have ESP or something?

 

Next Stop: Ok I have a little issue here. If you guys remember the last chapter's A/N, I talked about a Hot Springs Trip. Now, I can write it in the next chapter (it will be about 40 pages long) in which case it would be titled “Minna, minna, minna”. Or I can mention it (there are a few important things going on there, but should not take too much away from the plot), and move on. In which case it would be titled “Lost Complex” ( it will be about 20 pages long this way.) I'll let you decide.

In any case if you guys want to go with door number B (I did that on purpose) I will release the Hot Spring Special as an alternate chapter. Don't miss it! (Either of them… ehehe)